Bender

It’s a pity you High-Schoolers 

DIE so easily - 

or I might have a sense of Satisfaction, now….

The Jock :

But I didn't dump my purse out 

on The Couch and invite people 

into my problems. Did I?

So what's wrong?

What is it?

Is it bad?

Real bad?

Parents?

Yeah.

What did they do to you?

They ignore me.

The Vice :

What did you want to be

when you were young?

The Great God Janus :

When I was a kid,

I wanted to be John Lennon.

The Vice :

Carl, don't be a goof.

I'm trying to make a serious point here.

Carl, I've been teaching for 22 years.

And each year, these kids

get more and more arrogant.

The Great God Janus :

Aw, bullshit, man. Come on, Vern. 

The kids haven't changed. You have.

You took a teaching position 

because you thought it'd be fun, right?

Thought you could have summer vacations off.

And then you found out it was actually work.

That really bummed you out.

The Great God Janus :

These kids turned on me.

They think I'm a big fucking joke.

The Great God Janus :

Come off it.

Listen, Vern, if you were 16,

what would you think of you?

The Vice :

Hey, Carl, you think I give one rat's ass

what these kids think of me?

The Great God Janus :

Yes, I do.

You think about this.

When you get old, these kids -

The Vice :

When I get old, they're gonna 

be running the country.

Now, this is the thought that wakes me up 

in the middle of the night -

That when I get older, these kids 

are gonna Take Care of Me.

The Great God Janus :

I wouldn't count on it.

“One of the saddest days of my life was when 

My Mother told me 

‘Superman did not exist’.

I was like, 

“What do you mean he's not real…?!?”

And she thought I was crying 

because it's like 

‘Santa Claus is not real’

and I was actually crying because 

There was no-one coming 

with enough Power 

to Save Us.”