Showing posts with label Skagra. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Skagra. Show all posts

Tuesday 6 September 2022

Weeding




Captain James Hook :
Thank you. 
Thank you. 
Thank you.
Well, my stupid, sorry, parasitic sacks of entrails.... 

Revenge is Mine.

Long live The Hook!

I baited that Hook 
and now I'm proud to announce...
We have his children.

Finally I'm going to 
kill Peter Pan,
that cocky boy who 
cut off my hand 
and fed it to 
The Crocodile!

And who killed that 
cunning Crocodile? 

HOOK!

Who stuffed him?

HOOK!

Who made him into 
a quiet clock? 

HOOK!

Who went to 
The Other World 
and stole 
Pan's children?

HOOK!

And who didn't believe 
I could DO it?
Who doubted me?

Who amongst Us 
Does not Belong?
Someone here does 
not belong --

Stranger amongst 
The Loyal,
I'll weed you out.


[Command ship]
(Skagra snaps his fingers and the sphere settles on a pillar.)

ROMANA
Why don't you tell me
Why won't you just say what 
you're trying to do? 

(Skagra looks out of a big window.)

SKAGRA
Tell me what you see. 

ROMANA
Stars. 

SKAGRA
What are they doing

ROMANA
Doing? 

SKAGRA
Yes. 

ROMANA
Well, they're just there
They're --

SKAGRA
Exactly. Spinning uselessly through The Void. 
And around them, billions of people 
spinning uselessly through their lives. 

ROMANA
Says who?

SKAGRA
I Say. 

ROMANA
And Who are You


SKAGRA
What I am now is Not Important
But what I, what We all shall become... 

ROMANA
What do you --

SKAGRA
Shush. Look. 
(He opens his hands.)

ROMANA
What? 

SKAGRA
What do you see? 

ROMANA
Nothing. 

SKAGRA: 
Billions of atoms spinning at random, 
expending energy, running down
achieving nothing
Entropy, like the stars. 

But what is the one thing that 
stands against Entropy
against random decay? Life. 

(indicating himself)
See how the atoms are arranged here
They have MeaningPurpose
And what more Meaning and Purpose 
than in here. (his head

You do not understand Me. 
Your Mind is too limited.
 
My Krargs. They shall be The Servants 
of The New Generation. 

ROMANA
New Generation? New people?

SKAGRA: 
Not new people. 
A new Person.

[Krarg generator room]
(They enter a vapour-filled room.)

ROMANA: 
What? 

SKAGRA
Shush. 

(Skagra activates A Machine, and a new Krarg is created. Giant shaggy alien red yeti with post-it notes instead of fur, pretty much.

KRARG: 
What is Your Command, O Master?



Saturday 20 November 2021

The Way to Shada







[Command ship]
(A big red and orange spaceship 
complete with landing deck. 
The Tardis materialises inside. 
The sphere leads Skagra and Romana 
out into a corridor.)

ROMANA: Where are we? 

SKAGRA: 
On my command ship. 

ROMANA: 
And what are you hoping to command? 

SKAGRA: 
More than you can possibly imagine. 

ROMANA: 
I have a very vivid imagination. 

SKAGRA: 
So have I. 

(Something approaches, viewing them through a red filter.)

KRARG: 
Welcome Back, My Lord.

[Spacecraft]

(The Doctor is playing with his yo-yo.)

PARSONS: 
So where's he taken 
Your TARDIS? 

DOCTOR: 
Or when

PARSONS: 
What? 

DOCTOR: 
Time machine. 

PARSONS: 
Ah, yes. He took Romana because 
she can operate it for him? 

DOCTOR: 
So can he. He's got a copy of My Mind 
in that sphere of his. 
Everything I know is at his disposal. 

PARSONS: 
Then why did he take her with him? 

DOCTOR: 
Well, probably wants someone to show off too. 

PARSONS: 
There's one thing he doesn't know. 

DOCTOR: 
What? 

PARSONS: 
You're Still Alive. 

DOCTOR: 
Shush, shush, shush, shush. 
I'm Dead, remember. 

PARSONS: (sotto) 
Doctor, why doesn't The Ship know that?

DOCTOR: (sotto) 
It's only programmed to obey instructions, 
not to think about them. Blind Logic. 
It Serves Skagra and doesn't 
think beyond that. 

PARSONS: (sotto) 
Does it know where Skagra's gone

DOCTOR: 
Ship! Speaking to You as the late lamented enemy 
of Your Lord Skagra, I Command You 
to tell me where he has gone. 

SHIP: 
I Do Not Have That Information.

[Command ship]
(Skagra snaps his fingers and the sphere settles on a pillar.)

ROMANA: 
Why don't you tell me
Why won't you just say what 
you're trying to do? 

(Skagra looks out of a big window.)

SKAGRA: 
Tell me what you see. 

ROMANA: 
Stars. 

SKAGRA: 
What are they doing

ROMANA: 
Doing? 

SKAGRA: 
Yes. 

ROMANA: 
Well, they're just there
They're --

SKAGRA: 
Exactly. Spinning uselessly through The Void. 
And around them, billions of people 
spinning uselessly through their lives. 

ROMANA: 
Says who?

SKAGRA: 
I say. 

ROMANA: 
And who are you


SKAGRA: 
What I am now is Not Important. 
But what I, what We all shall become... 

ROMANA: 
What do you --

SKAGRA: 
Shush. Look. 
(He opens his hands.)

ROMANA: 
What? 

SKAGRA: 
What do you see? 

ROMANA: 
Nothing. 

SKAGRA: 
Billions of atoms spinning at random, 
expending energy, running down
achieving nothing
Entropy, like the stars. 

But what is the one thing that 
stands against Entropy
against random decay? Life. 

(indicating himself)
See how the atoms are arranged here
They have Meaning, Purpose
And what more Meaning and Purpose 
than in here. (his head

You do not understand Me. 
Your Mind is too limited. 
My Krargs. They shall be The Servants 
of The New Generation. 

ROMANA: 
New Generation? New people?

SKAGRA: 
Not new people. 
A new Person.

[Krarg generator room]
(They enter a vapour-filled room.)

ROMANA: 
What? 

SKAGRA
Shush. 

(Skagra activates A Machine, and a new Krarg is created. Giant shaggy alien red yeti with post-it notes instead of fur, pretty much.

KRARG: 
What is Your Command, O Master?

[Spacecraft]
(The Doctor is working inside some panelling.)

PARSONS: 
So it's Back to Square One, then. 

DOCTOR: That's it! Ow! Ouch! 

PARSONS: 
What? 

DOCTOR: 
Square One. That's where we've got to go 
if we want to find out what Skagra's up to. 

Once we know that, we know 
where to find him. 

Ship, I order you to take us to where your lord Skagra last came before arriving here. 
SHIP: Your order does not conflict with my programmed instructions. I will activate launch procedures. Launch procedures activated. Launch procedures activated. Launch procedures activated. 
(Somewhere, more Krarg are created. Skagra's ship becomes visible once it is airborne and zooms off into space.) 
DOCTOR: Ship, how long will the journey take? 
SHIP: Thirty nine astro-siderial days. 
DOCTOR: What? That's neary three months. 
SHIP: At maximum drive. We have many hundreds of light years to cover. 
PARSONS: Hundreds of light years in three months? That's incredible. 
DOCTOR: Yes, incredibly slow. Stop. 
SHIP: Repeat, please. 
DOCTOR: I said, stop. Halt. (Juddering halt knocks Parsons off his feet.) 
PARSONS: Oh, what are you doing? 
DOCTOR: Ship, I'm now going to introduce you to a few new concepts. Now listen very carefully. Reverse the polarity of your main drive feed. Right? 
SHIP: Accomplished. 
DOCTOR: Regrade your de-ossilation diagetic synthesisers by ten points. 
SHIP: Warning. Drive will explode in twelve seconds. Eleven. Ten. 
DOCTOR: Did I say ten points? Sorry, minus ten points. 
SHIP: Accomplished. 
DOCTOR: Realign your maxivectal meter on drag so they cross-connect with your radial bicentric arrows. 
SHIP: Accomplished. 
DOCTOR: Good. Now, this is the easy bit. 
(More Krargs emerge.)
PARSONS: What have you done? 
DOCTOR: I've constructed a primitive dimensional stabiliser by remote control. The journey will now only take a couple of minutes to anywhere. 
SHIP: Doctor, you are extremely ingenious, for a dead man. 
DOCTOR: Oh, well, let's not harp on that aspect too much, shall we? 
(A familiar sound is heard as the ship dematerialises.)
[Prof. Chronotis' rooms]
(Clare lies unconscious on the carpet as the lights on the control panel continue to blink. She starts to wake up, bumps her head on the underside of an occasional table, then gets up and sits on a chair. Chronotis pops up from behind the back of the chair next to her, wearing a nightcap and gown. Clare jumps out of her skin) 
CHRONOTIS: What have you done to my machine? 
(He switches off the console, and the vague background humming stops.) 
CHRONOTIS: Tea? 
(Chronotis goes into the kitchen and comes straight out with the tea tray.) 
CLARE: May I ask who you are? 
CHRONOTIS: I was, I am, I will be, Professor Chronotis. Oh dear. We Gallifreyans have never managed to come up with a satisfactory form of grammar to cover these situations. 
CLARE: Look, I don't understand what's happening. What situation? 
CHRONOTIS: (sitting) Timelessness. Standing obliquely to the time fields. 
CLARE: Is that what we're doing? 
CHRONOTIS: Oh yes, and very grateful I am to you for arranging it. 
CLARE: Me? But all I did was just press a button and 
CHRONOTIS: Yes, I know. A very ancient Tardis, this. I rescued it literally from the scrap heaps. I'm not allowed have one really, you know. Still, just as well though, isn't it, otherwise I'd be dead still. 
CLARE: Still dead? 
CHRONOTIS: Oh, yes. Yes, I've been killed. Only your timely mishandling of this machine meant that you tangled with my time fields at the critical moment. You're not following me, are you? 
CLARE: Er, no. 
CHRONOTIS: Good. Think of me as a paradox in an anomaly and get on with your tea. 
CLARE: Oh, yes. 
CHRONOTIS: We must find Skagra. 
CLARE: Yes. 
CHRONOTIS: He has the book. 
CLARE: Ah! 
CHRONOTIS: You know about it? 
CLARE: Well, I sort of 
CHRONOTIS: It's a very dangerous book and I have been very careless. It is the key to Shada. 
CLARE: Oh. 
CHRONOTIS: The ancient prison planet of the Time Lords. They have been induced to forget about it.
CLARE: I see. 
CHRONOTIS: If Skagra is meddling with mind transference, mind control, he's only going to Shada for one particular reason and it is imperative that he be stopped. 
CLARE: Yes! Er, why? What on Earth's there? 
CHRONOTIS: It's not a matter of what, it's a matter of who.

[Command ship]
(An image of what the Doctor saw on the pages of the book is on a wall screen, projected by the sphere.) 

ROMANA: 
What's so important about the book? 

SKAGRA: 
It is The Ancient Law of Gallifrey. 

ROMANA: 
So? 

SKAGRA: 
So, what does a Gallifreyan Judge 
say when passing sentence? 

ROMANA: 
Er, 'We but administer. You are imprisoned not by this court but by the power of the Law. It is not -- '

SKAGRA: 
The Power of The Law. 
It used to be quite literally true.
 
ROMANA: 
What? You think that book is some sort of key to --

SKAGRA: 
The key with which the Time Lords used 
to imprison its most feared criminals. 
Criminals such as... 
He doesn't know. He doesn't know the code. 

ROMANA: 
I'm glad you realised that. 
It's about Time. 

SKAGRA: 
Time. Time. About Time. 
Yes, of course. I should have seen that. 
A Gallifreyan code would have 
to include the dimension of Time. 
(to the sphere) 
Stop. Find me the Doctor's last reference to Time.

[Spacecraft]
DOCTOR: Oh, come on, ship. What's taking you so long? 
SHIP: Estimated docking time, two minutes. 
DOCTOR: Hurry up. 
(A Krarg appears in the doorway behind them.) 
KRARG: Who are you? 
PARSONS: Doctor! 
DOCTOR: Ah, hello there. 
PARSONS: (sotto) What is it? 
DOCTOR: (sotto) I don't know. 
KRARG: You are intruders. 
DOCTOR: Well actually, I'm dead, and this is Bristol. 
PARSONS: Chris. 
KRARG: You trespass on my lord's ship. You shall die. 
DOCTOR: K9! 
(K9 fires his laser.) 
PARSONS: What on Earth is it? 
DOCTOR: What's Earth got to do with it? Looks like some sort of crystalline structure. 
SHIP: Preparing to dock. 
DOCTOR: You go ahead. Don't mind us. 
(The spacecraft materialises inside the shuttle bay.)
[FSAS Space Station - outside the shuttlebay]
(The place has gotten dark and dirty since we were last here. The Computer is still repeating the message from the top of the story.) 
COMPUTER: This is a recorded message. The Foundation for the Study of Advanced Sciences is under strict quarantine. Do not approach. Do not approach. Everything is under our control. 
PARSONS [OC]: Where is this place? 
DOCTOR [OC] How should I know? 
PARSONS [OC]: Big, isn't it? 
DOCTOR [OC]: I wonder where everybody's got to? 
(They come out of the shuttle bay.)
PARSONS: I don't know. 
DOCTOR: Neither do I. 
PARSONS: And I don't believe that we travelled hundreds of light years. 
DOCTOR: Why not? 
PARSONS: You cannot travel faster than light. Einstein. 
DOCTOR: What? Do you understand Einstein? 
PARSONS: Yes. 
DOCTOR: What? And quantum theory? 
PARSONS: Yes. 
DOCTOR: What? And Planck? 
PARSONS: Yes. 
DOCTOR: What? And Newton? 
PARSONS: Yes. 
DOCTOR: What? And Schoenberg? 
PARSONS: Of course. 
DOCTOR: You've got a lot to unlearn. Ah. 
(The Doctor spots the letters IASS ASD on a plaque on the wall.) 
DOCTOR: Institute for Advanced Science Studies. 
PARSONS: ASD Advanced State of Decay? 
DOCTOR: Shush. 
PARSONS: What? 
DOCTOR: Shush. Did you hear something? 
PARSONS: No. 
DOCTOR: Shush.
[FSAS Space Station]
(They enter the room from the first scene in the story.) 
DOCTOR: Ah ha! Think Tank. Quite interesting. 
(The Doctor turns off the broadcast.) 
PARSONS: Quite interesting? This is fascinating. Absolutely fascinating. Do you mean to say that all this means something to you? 
DOCTOR: Oh yes! It's all terrible simple. You see, when ah!
(Then they see the five remaining men huddled together, all terribly hairy and with very long nails now.)

[Tardis]

(Skagra is reading the book as the time rotor goes up and down. Romana enters.)

SKAGRA: 
Keep back. 

(The sphere pins her to the doors. She notices that the time rotor stops when Skagra ceases to turn pages. Then he notices it too.)

SKAGRA: 
Exactly. Time runs backwards over the book. 
As I turn the pages within the time field of this machine, 
the machine operates. 

Turning the last page will take us to Shada.

[Command ship]
(Skagra hands Romana over to a Krarg.) 
SKAGRA: I have broken the code. 
KRARG: We can repair it, my lord. 

SKAGRA: Fool. Make all preparations for the entry into Shada. You are about to meet one of the greatest and most powerful criminals in all history. 
ROMANA: Salyavin. 
SKAGRA: A man the Time Lords chose to forget.
[FSAS Space Station]
PARSONS: Who are they? What are they, Doctor? 
DOCTOR: Victims of Skagra's brain drain. Their intellectual powers have been stolen. But their memory patterns might remain. Yes. 
(The Doctor sits in one of the central seats.) 
PARSONS: But if only they could tell us what happened to them. 
DOCTOR: Yes. What? 
PARSONS: If only they could tell us what happened to them. 
DOCTOR: Bristol? 
PARSONS: Yes? 
DOCTOR: Bristol, I'd like you to do something for me. 
PARSONS: Certainly. 
DOCTOR: It won't be pleasant. 
PARSONS: Oh. 
(Meanwhile, K9 is still holding the Krarg at bay with a continuous laser beam.) 
(The Doctor places one of the brain-drained men on a seat. Parsons is sitting on another one.) 
DOCTOR: Easy, easy. There, there. Bristol? 
PARSONS: Yes? 
DOCTOR: I'm going to allow this man access to your intelligence reserves. 
PARSONS: Oh. 
DOCTOR: It's all right, it's only temporary. But it might just allow him to function. 
PARSONS: I just hope you know what you're doing. 
DOCTOR: So do I. So do I. Now, take a deep breath. 
(The Doctor goes to the free-standing console and adjusts the controls, then goes to a wall panel and cranks up the power. The pyramid between the seats begins to twinkle, and Parson's head is pulled back between the receptors. The Doctor checks the lifesigns of the man, who then touches his head, making him jump.) 
CALDERA: Skagra! 
(K9 continues to hold the Krarg, but it is getting stronger.)
CALDERA: Who are you? 
DOCTOR: The Doctor. 
CALDERA: What are you doing here? 
DOCTOR: Who are you? 
CALDERA: My name is Caldera. 
DOCTOR: What? Not A St John De Caldera? 
(pronounced a singe on de caldera...) 
CALDERA: The same? 
DOCTOR: The neurologist. 
CALDERA: Yes. 
DOCTOR: It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. One of the great intellects of your generation. 
CALDERA: So are we all. 
DOCTOR: What? 
CALDERA: There's A S T Thira, the psychologist. G V Centauri, the parametricist. L D Ia, the biologist. R A F Akrotiri. 
DOCTOR: Some of the greatest intellects in the universe. 
CALDERA: And Doctor Skagra. 
DOCTOR: Skagra? 
CALDERA: Geneticist, and astro-engineer. 
DOCTOR: What? 
CALDERA: And cyberneticist, and neurostructuralist, and moral theologian. 
DOCTOR: Yes, and too clever by seven-eighths. Who is he? Where does he come from? 
CALDERA: We don't know. 
DOCTOR: What? 
CALDERA: But he was very impressive. He offered very handsome fees, so we agreed. 
DOCTOR: To do what? 
CALDERA: Don't you see? The Think Tank was his idea. He set it up. 
DOCTOR: He did? To do what? 
CALDERA: The pooling of intellectual resources by electronic mind transference. 
DOCTOR: What? 
CALDERA: He conceived it on the grand scale. Just how grand, we didn't realise. Not at first, not until after we had built the sphere, and by then it was too late. 
DOCTOR: Why? What happened? 
CALDERA: He stole our brains! He stole our brains. 
DOCTOR: Easy, easy. 
CALDERA: Stole. 
DOCTOR: Easy. Shush, shush, shush. 
CALDERA: The whole of humanity. 
DOCTOR: What? The whole of humanity? 
CALDERA: The whole! But he needed 
DOCTOR: What did he need? 
CALDERA: One mind.
DOCTOR: Which mind? 
CALDERA: One unique mind. 
DOCTOR: What mind? 
CALDERA: A man called 
DOCTOR: What was he called? 
CALDERA: A man called 
DOCTOR: What was he called? 
CALDERA: Salyavin! 
DOCTOR: Salyavin? 
(K9 runs out of power and backs out of the spacecraft, followed by the lumbering Krarg.) 
DOCTOR: Bristol? Bristol? Are you all right? 
PARSONS: I feel marvellous! 
DOCTOR: Good, good, it'll pass. You're fit. 
PARSONS: What did you find out? 
DOCTOR: Not much. Not enough to locate Skagra, just enough to frighten me out of my wits. 
K9: Master! 
DOCTOR: K9! Why aren't you back at 
(The Krarg is behind K9, it's upper torso and head glowing red hot. It fires energy bolts at the cowering scientists.) 
DOCTOR: K9, try and keep it back. 
K9: Power supply at danger level. 
(The Doctor tries to creep past, towards the members of the Think Tank. The Krarg raises its arm.) 
PARSONS: Doctor, look out! 
(The Doctor avoids the blast and rejoins Parsons. The Krarg advances on them.)
Part Five
[FSAS Space Station]
DOCTOR: Bristol? 
PARSONS: Yes? 
DOCTOR: You still feeling marvellous? 
PARSONS: Yes. 
DOCTOR: Right. Give me ten seconds. 
PARSONS: What? 
(The Doctor goes round the back of Parsons to the cowering Think Tank. Parsons takes up a boxing pose.) 
PARSONS: Well, come on then! Well, come on! 
(The Krarg turns away from him and hits the sparkling pyramid.) 
PARSONS: Doctor, it's going to blow up! 
(The Doctor stands in front of the scientists as the Krarg advances on them. Smoke starts to fill the room. Parsons runs behind the Krarg and out into the corridor, where he grabs a dangling power cable, then goes back in. K9 leaves. Parsons drags the Doctor out of the room.)
[FSAS Space Station - outside the shuttlebay]
DOCTOR: It's jammed! 
(The Krarg attacks the scientists. The Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver, and the door rises. The Doctor, Parsons and K9 get underneath it just as the Krarg arrives on the scene. The door closes in front of it. The spacecraft dematerialises and the space station goes KaBOOM!!)
[Spacecraft]
DOCTOR: Good ship, good ship. Good, you're learning. Which is more than we're doing. 
PARSONS: What do you mean? 
DOCTOR: Well, we're still no nearer to finding Skagra or Romana. 
PARSONS: What do you think we should do? 
DOCTOR: I don't know. 
PARSONS: Well, try looking on the bright side. At least we're
DOCTOR: I am looking on the bright side, and it's dark, very dark. Now listen to me, ship. I'm going to ask you once again. Where is your lord Skagra? 
SHIP: He did not reveal his destination. 
PARSONS: But you must have some idea? 
SHIP: I am a computer. I do not have ideas. I obey instructions. 
DOCTOR: So you've no idea where he's gone. 
SHIP: I do not. 
DOCTOR: Bah. Doesn't he have a home to go to? 
SHIP: Yes. 
DOCTOR: He has? 
SHIP: Correct. 
DOCTOR: Well, then why didn't you tell me? 
SHIP: I have orders not to. 
DOCTOR: But, will you please take us there? 
SHIP: The order conflicts with my programmed instructions. 
DOCTOR: Well, just you tell it not to worry. I'm sure your lord Skagra will be very anxious to pay his last respects to me. 
SHIP: I obey. 
DOCTOR: I do hate computers. They're so literal minded. Aren't you, K9? 
K9: Affirmative, master.
[Prof. Chronotis' rooms]
(Chronotis is dressed to go out, and he and Clare are working on components from his Tardis mechanism.) 
CLARE: Oh. Look, I don't even know what I'm meant to be doing. 
CHRONOTIS: We must get this old perambulator moving again. 
CLARE: Well, it certainly moved when I touched it. 
CHRONOTIS: Oh, a spasm, a mere spasm. I just hope it wasn't a dying spasm, because it has left us jammed between two irrational time interfaces. Time is moving away from us. If we do manage to disentangle ourselves, I'll just have to be careful, otherwise I shall cease to exist again. 
CLARE: Oh. Really? 
CHRONOTIS: Now do as I do. 
CLARE: What's that? 
CHRONOTIS: Forget about it. 
CLARE: Oh, Professor, that's easier said than done. Who is this, er, Salyavin person? 
CHRONOTIS: Salyavin? He was a criminal. His exploits have been wildly exaggerated. He was a hotheaded, brilliant young man with a peculiar talent. I can't fix this. 
CLARE: Can I help? 
CHRONOTIS: Difficult, very difficult. To repair an interfacial resonator requires two operations which must be performed absolutely simultaneously. And to be honest, my dear, I don't think you have the knowledge. 
CLARE: So we're stuck. 
CHRONOTIS: Yes. 
CLARE: Well, I can learn, you know. I'm very quick. 
(Chronotis fetches a large wrench from the kitchen.) 
CLARE: What's the matter? 
CHRONOTIS: Listen to me. Listen to me very carefully. What I am about to do, you are never to speak of, and this is the only time I will ever do it. 
CLARE: What are you talking about? 
CHRONOTIS: Do I have your promise? 
CLARE: Well, what are you going to do to me? 
CHRONOTIS: Do I have your promise? 
CLARE: Yes, yes, all right. 
CHRONOTIS: What is that piece of equipment you have in your hand? 
CLARE: I have absolutely no idea. 
CHRONOTIS: Good. 
(Chronotis puts down the wrench and takes off his spectacles. His eyes glow as he stares hard into Clare's eyes.) 
CHRONOTIS: Now, what is that piece of equipment? 
CLARE: This? Er, it's a conceptual geometer relay, with an agronomic trigger, a totally defunct field separator. But it doesn't matter. We can dispense with it if we can get that interfacial resonator working again. 
CHRONOTIS: Splendid! 
CLARE: Well, let's do that then, shall we?
[Command ship]
(The spacecraft materialises on the hangar deck right next to another identical spacecraft. Lots of Krarg are still being made here.) SKAGRA: Well? 
KRARG: We have a full complement, my lord. 
SKAGRA: Good. Then we can begin. 
(The Krarg leave. A finger taps Romana on the shoulder and she gasps.) 
DOCTOR: I wish you wouldn't do that. 
ROMANA: How did you get here? 
DOCTOR: These kind people brought me. 
SKAGRA: Doctor. 
DOCTOR: Ah, hello there. 
SKAGRA: I am a little surprised to find you here. 
DOCTOR: Your ship was a little surprised 
SKAGRA: Oh, you stole my ship. 
DOCTOR: Only after you stole mine. Ah, there she is. I hope you've been looking after her. If you've been over-revving her... 
SKAGRA: I'm curious to know how you survived the attentions of my sphere. 
DOCTOR: Well, it only looks for what it expects to find. I made it look for the wrong things. 
SKAGRA: If you've come here in the hope of interfering with my great purpose. 
DOCTOR: Great purpose? Great purpose? Ha! 
SKAGRA: The very greatest purpose, Doctor. 
DOCTOR: You want to take over the universe, don't you. I've met your sort before. Any moment now a mad gleam will come into one of your eyes and you'll start shouting, the universe shall be mine. 
SKAGRA: How naive, Doctor. How pathetically limited your vision must be. 
DOCTOR: Limited? 
SKAGRA: Take over the universe? How childish. Who could possibly want to take over the universe? 
DOCTOR: Exactly. That's what I keep telling people. It's a troublesome place, difficult to administer. And as a piece of real estate, it's worthless, because by definition there'd be no one to sell it to. 
SKAGRA: Such visions are for infants. My purpose will fulfil the natural evolutionary goal of all life. 
DOCTOR: Oh yes? 
SKAGRA: With the aid of these spheres, I shall make the whole of creation merge into one single mind, one god-like entity. 
DOCTOR: You will? 
SKAGRA: The universe, Doctor, shall not, as you so crudely put it, be mine. The universe shall be me. 
DOCTOR: Ah. Have you discussed this with anyone? I mean, why don't you send one of your rocky pals off to make some tea and we can sit down and chew on a macaroon. 
SKAGRA: Doctor, your inane whitterings do not interest me. This will happen. It will start within hours. And once it has started, nothing you or anyone else can do will stop it. Take them away. They bore me. 
(Krargs bear down. The Doctor taps one.) 
DOCTOR: Jink! 
(He grabs Parsons and runs.)
SKAGRA: Kill them. 
(K9 follows the Doctor, but Romana is held fast.) 
ROMANA: What's a jink?
[Command ship corridor]
(The Doctor, Parsons and K9 hide in an alcove as the Krarg lumber past.)
DOCTOR: Clever jink that, don't you think? I made them think I was trying to get to the Tardis. 
PARSONS: What were you trying to do? 
DOCTOR: Get to the Tardis. 
PARSONS: Doctor, that man must be mad, mustn't he? 
DOCTOR: Oh, madness, sanity, it's all a matter of opinion. 
PARSONS: And what's your opinion? 
DOCTOR: He's as mad as a hatter. They've gone. Right, back the way we came. Quietly. 
(Further on they hear a stuttering sound.)
DOCTOR: Shush. 
PARSONS: (sotto) What? 
DOCTOR: That. 
PARSONS: Your Tardis. Surprised you can hear it from here. 
DOCTOR: There's something odd about it. Come on. 
(A Krarg fires a bolt that just misses Parson's head.) 
DOCTOR: Run! 
PARSONS: It's a dead end. 
DOCTOR: Then we're trapped. 
(A wooden door with a brass knob is against a wall.)
PARSONS: This wasn't here before. 
DOCTOR: Get in!
[Prof. Chronotis' rooms]
(The door bursts open and the Doctor and Parsons run in from the Carrier corridor and slam it shut again. They quietly congratulate each other then turn to see where they are. Their jaws hit the floor with a loud Thud!) 
PARSONS: Keightley! 
CLARE: Chris? 
CHRONOTIS: Cup of tea? 
DOCTOR: Tea? (Shortly afterwards, the chasing Krarg has moved off and the Doctor is sitting at the control panel.) 
CHRONOTIS: Doctor, how do you like my Tardis? 
DOCTOR: Oh, ace. Ace. 
CHRONOTIS: It's strictly unofficial. I'm not really allowed to have one. 
DOCTOR: Yes, and what better way to hide it than by living in it, you old sly boots. 
CLARE: What are you doing here? 
PARSONS: How am I'm suppose to know. Yeah, and what's the Professor's room doing here? 
CLARE: Oh, you may well ask. But ask the Professor. 
CHRONOTIS: Doctor, where is Skagra? 
DOCTOR: Shush. Not so loud. He's just outside. 
CHRONOTIS: Oh. 
DOCTOR: He's got Romana, he's got the Tardis, he's got the book. I thought you were dead, Professor. 
CHRONOTIS: Yes, so did I. 
DOCTOR: Did you really? 
CHRONOTIS: Listen, Doctor, if Skagra has the Tardis and the book, he can get to Shada. 
DOCTOR: Shada? Shada? 
CHRONOTIS: Yes, the Time Lords' prison planet. You've probably forgotten about it. 
DOCTOR: I never forget anything. I never forget. Well, that's right. I have forgotten. The Time Lords' prison planet. Now why would I have forgotten? Got it. Of course! Salyavin was imprisoned on Shada. Yes. Ask me who Salyavin is. 
CLARE: Oh, now he was a great criminal imprisoned centuries ago by the Time Lords. 
DOCTOR: A great criminal. Unique mental powers. He had the ability to project his mind into other minds, completely take them over, didn't he, Professor? 
PARSONS: That's what Skagra's doing? 
DOCTOR: Oh no, no, no, no, no. Quite the opposite. Skagra had the capacity to take minds out of people, but he can't put minds back into them. That's why he needs Salyavin in the sphere, and that's why he's going to Shada. 
PARSONS: Of course! 
CHRONOTIS: Doctor! He must not get there.
[Tardis]
(Skagra allows the pages of the book to turn over one at a time, as the time rotor moves.) 


SKAGRA: 
The key turns slowly in the lock. 
The door to Shada opens.












Tuesday 16 February 2021

I'm Not Mad About Your Tailor --

Doctor Who: The Doctor's Mind - Shada (VHS Edition)

[Bridge]

(The Doctor is bicycling back to the College when he meets Skagra on a bridge, holding the sphere.)

SKAGRA: 
Doctor?

DOCTOR: 
Yes?

SKAGRA: 
I am Skagra. 
I want The Book.

DOCTOR: 
Well, I'm The Doctor and you can't have it.

SKAGRA: 
You attempt to hide it from me?

DOCTOR: 
Yes. It'll be taken to a Place of Safety.

SKAGRA: 
Where?

DOCTOR: 
Oh, a little place I have in mind.

SKAGRA: 
Doctor, you will give to me everything 
that you have in Your Mind. 

Your Mind shall be Mine.

DOCTOR: 
I'm not mad about your tailor.

Sunday 17 January 2021

That Means YOURS is In There TOO.



“It was no Sacrifice to give back the MBE because it was an EMBARRASSMENT..!!”




"So let Us infect Them.

Infect Them to the point where They become Us.

Where there’s nothing left in This World, but Us.

And then Some Kid’ll come up and fuck That up as well.

And That’ll be Exactly What We Need at The Time.”


DOCTOR: 
Shush, shush. 
Quiet, I'm thinking. 

(The Doctor comes back in from the kitchen.

DOCTOR: 
I'm thinking — and it •depresses• me. 

Skagra's little zombie gang have got the brain power of the greatest intellects in the universe shared out among them. The Think Tank —

CLARE: 
The who? 

DOCTOR: 
Never mind about that. 
Just believe me —

All the minds that Skagra's stolen are now in the melting pot along with his own, and operating As One. 

And with the Professor's, I mean with Salyavin's mind in there too, 
They can now control ANYONE. 

They can control EVERYONE

They'll be invincible.

ROMANA: 
Doctor? 

DOCTOR: 
Yes? 

ROMANA: 
May I just remind you of something? 

DOCTOR: 
Yes

ROMANA: 
If ALL the minds that Skagra's stolen are in the melting pot....

DOCTOR: 
YES —

ROMANA: 
....that means YOURS is In There TOO. 

DOCTOR: 
Yes.....! 
....Romana? 

ROMANA: 
Yes, Doctor? 

DOCTOR: 
Romana, I want you to do something for me. 

Stand there. 

Romana, I want you to wear this

(The Doctor pins a medal — in the script, it’s a badge that says I AM A GENIUSon Romana's blouse then kisses her on both cheeks. They salute each other.)

DOCTOR: 
Well — now, I can think.



“But above all: let’s become plex-creatures. Complex, superplex – be able to take on new personality traits; able to take on new ideas; able to adapt; able to extend our boundaries into what was previously the ‘enemy territory’ – until the point where we become what was once our enemy, and they are us, and there is no distinction.

Mad Cow Disease, or BSE, or CJD – Creutzfeld-Jacob Disease; it’s very interesting. It’s hitting the headlines; people are interested in these new 21st-century fucked up diseases that are gonna wipe us all out, apparently.

This is a disease – I’ve been studying this, coz it seems like a really good metaphor to use – CJD is a disease that attacks the brain and central nervous system and utterly demolishes them. Completely; you’re fucked. You will slide down a ramp like a stupid cow. You’ll fall on the concrete; you won’t be able to walk; your brain will turn to sponge. You’ll be eaten to bits.

You know that CJD does that without the immune system noticing? The immune system can’t detect CJD. By the time you’re slipping down the ramp like a cow, it’s all over. The immune system suddenly says: “Oh fuck; we’re in trouble.” Too late, mate.

So what happens if we act like BSE and CJD? 

What if we colonise the culture? What if we give it something it can’t swallow?

And this is a little bit like what Doug [Rushkoff] was saying earlier: we go in there; they want us. They’re desperate for us, because they think we know this shit; we know something they don’t know. We’re attached; we’re connected in some way that they don’t.. “they”, whoever “they” are; these poor bastards. They’re looking at us, like – coz I’ve got a leather jacket, I know something, y’know?!

But that’s what they think. And what I think has actually happened here is: the culture’s getting weirder and weirder.

Back home in Britain, Tony Blair is putting up cameras in every street corner. And he’s talking about putting cameras in peoples’ homes. He’s gotten rid of trial by jury. This is like, fascist Britain 1999, y’know?

But the more he does this, the weirder things get.

The more cameras you put up, the more people will start to act like movie stars. The more people start to act like movie stars, the weirder things get. And then the *more* cameras they put up to try and deal with it! 

And the weirder it gets!

So let ‘em bring the cameras; I’ll fucking act the shit out of these bastards! Let’s have the cameras. Let’s have cameras everywhere. And we’ll show them what we can do.
And they’ll be watching, going: “Man, that guy’s getting fucked; I wish I was.”

And they want in. They want in on this. So let’s, like Doug said, invite them in. Let’s take them in. Let’s be like the diseased prion that destroys its host, and CJD.

Let’s go in there and give them something they cannot digest. Something they cannot process. Something so toxic, so dangerous, so powerful.. that it will breed, and destroy them utterly.

Not destroy them – turn them into us. 

Because that’s what we want. We want everybody to be cool. We don’t want to go in and think: “That guy over there’s gonna kill me; that guy hates me; that guy’s got some fucking weird agenda.”

Don’t we just wanna talk? And let it all go, and just say: “Hey, I’m interested in you; what have you got to tell me?”

That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? We communicate; we join up; we make networks; we make things happen.

And there are some people in the world who don’t wanna do that.

So let us infect them.

Infect them to the point where they become us.
Where there’s nothing left in this world, but us.
And then some kid’ll come up and fuck that as well.
And that’ll be exactly what we need at the time.
And that’s me finished, so thank you very much.