Showing posts with label Yeti. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Yeti. Show all posts

Saturday 15 October 2022

Robots





The Great Intelligence :
The Doctor lives his life in 
darker hues, day upon day, 
and he will have other names 
before The End. 
The Storm, The Beast, 
The Valeyard.

Even if any of this were true, 
which I take the liberty of doubting
how did you come by this information?

I AM Information.






DOCTOR: 
I don't like it. 
There's something happening 
on this mountain. 
I can feel it. 

JAMIE: 
Here, you're giving me the willies. Come on. 

(Meanwhile, two Yeti are approaching the cave. The one carrying the control sphere stands outside while the other goes back down the mountain. Travers is still watching, and sees Songsten and his escort approach the cave. Songsten takes the sphere from the Yeti, which leaves. Then he goes into the cave alone, leaving three Yeti standing guard.

JAMIE: 
Look, Doctor. 

(The TARDIS is guarded by a Yeti. 
The Doctor and Jamie take cover behind a rock.)

DOCTOR: 
I thought we'd been too lucky. 

JAMIE: 
What now? 

DOCTOR: 
I don't know. We've got to get 
to The TARDIS somehow. 

JAMIE: 
Aye, well you can't frighten 
one of those things away. 

DOCTOR: 
No. 

JAMIE: 
I wonder what he's waiting for? 

DOCTOR: 
Hmm? 

JAMIE: 
Well, he couldn't have known 
we were coming. 

DOCTOR: 
It's a robot, Jamie. 
It merely follows instructions.

JAMIE: 
Who's giving them? 

DOCTOR: 
That we shall have to 
find out, won't we?

JAMIE:
Get down, Doctor!


[Inner Sanctum]
PADMASAMBHAVA: 
Oh, Great Intelligence
have I served you well? 

After so many years, can I feel the grip 
of Your Power loosen? 

How long before your 
Great Experiment begins 
and I can rest? So soon? 
I am not sorry. 

What of the others? 

It will be done. 
Songsten is making 
final preparations.


[Cave]
(The rockfall has been cleared, 
and the spheres are now arranged in a circle. 
Songsten places the transparent pyramid 
in the middle and leaves. 
The pyramid pulsates with light. 
Outside, Travers watches Songsten 
and his escort leave. When they are out of sight, 
Travers goes into the cave.)




[Outside the Tardis]

DOCTOR: 
Yes. 

JAMIE: 
Have you thought up some 
clever plan, Doctor? 

DOCTOR: 
Yes, Jamie, I believe I have. 

JAMIE: 
What are you going to do? 

DOCTOR: 
Bung a rock at it. 

JAMIE: 
Oh, be serious, Doctor. 

DOCTOR: 
Jamie, I am. 

(The Doctor throws a rock at The TARDIS.) 

JAMIE: 
Hey, no, Doctor. 

(The Yeti does not move.

DOCTOR: 
There you are, you see? 
Just as I thought. 
It can't see and 
it can't feel. Come on.

JAMIE: 
Don't be daft, Doctor. 

DOCTOR: 
Well. it's quite all right, Jamie. 
It's like those three back there. 
It's either switched off or 
not receiving. Come along. 

JAMIE: 
Are you sure it's quite safe? 

DOCTOR: 
Well, quite frankly, no, Jamie.
But there's only one way 
of finding out.




(The Doctor goes up to the Yeti and touches it, 
then listens to its chest.

JAMIE: 
Don't, Doctor. You might 
switch it on. 

DOCTOR: 
No, I don't think so, Jamie. Yes, 
just as I thought. Now then. 

(The Doctor uses a screwdriver on the Yeti.) 

DOCTOR: 
Jamie, will you hold this flap open 
for me, please? Thank you. 

JAMIE: 
Hey you're taking an awful risk, Doctor. 

(The Doctor removes the control sphere.

DOCTOR: 
Well, I'm glad that's over. Catch. 

JAMIE: 
Hey, I just thought of something, Doctor. 
The Man that made these robots 
is very clever, right? 

DOCTOR: 
Yes. 

JAMIE: 
And yet we were able to walk right up to it 
and put it out of action just like that.

 DOCTOR: 
You mean, why didn't they build in 
some sort of protective device? 

JAMIE: Aye. 

DOCTOR: 
Well, perhaps they didn't think 
it was necessary
I mean, look at him. 
Would you walk up to a creature like that 
with just a screwdriver in your hand? 

JAMIE: 
No, I would not

DOCTOR: 
No, there you are. I'm really rather 
pleased with myself. 

(The Doctor goes into The TARDIS.)

Tuesday 23 August 2022

Bung a Rock at It












[Outside The TARDIS]

The Cosmic Hobo : 
Yes. 


JAMIE
Have you thought up 
some clever plan, Doctor? 


The Cosmic Hobo : 
Yes, Jamie, I believe I have. 

JAMIE
What are you going to do? 


The Cosmic Hobo
Bung a rock at it. 







NARRATOR :
It is now necessary to travel two-million years 
backwards in time, to where 
Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent 
are stranded in the primeval past 
of the utterly insignificant planet Earth. 

They are faced with A Problemin that a spaceship, 
which has apparently travelled 
back in time to rescue them, 
can not materialise until 
they have worked out 
a way of sending a message 
forward in time to summon it. 

This is clearly a terribly convoluted 
temporal paradox of 
mind-mangling complexity. 

Scene 3. Int. Prehistoric Earth 

ARTHUR:
Perhaps we could wave your towel at it. 

FORD:
You know what your trouble is Arthur? 
You’ve got as much grasp of multi-temporal 
causality as a concussed bee. 

ARTHUR:
oh. You don’t think it would work? 

FORD:
No. That ship hovering there is 
only a potential ship, 
the possibility of one. 

ARTHUR:
We could still wave at it. 

FORD:
Yeah, very friendly but 
chronologically inept. 
Listen, we have to send A Message 
forward in time… 

ARTHUR:
Yes…. 

FORD:
…to where that spaceship 
is going to be. 

ARTHUR:
We don’t know where. 

FORD:
No. 

ARTHUR:
We don’t know when

FORD:
No. 

ARTHUR:
And anyway, we haven’t got 
a time machine. 

FORD:
No. 

ARTHUR:
So? 

FORD:
You’re right. 

ARTHUR:
What? 

FORD:
We might just as well wave a towel at it. 

ARTHUR:
Right. [Shouts] Hello!! 

FORD:
[Shouts] Hello!! 

ARTHUR:
[Shouts] Hel-looo!! 

ARTHUR:
[Shouts] Spaceship!! 

FORD:
[Shouts] Over here!! 

FORD:
[Shouts] Just down here!! 

ARTHUR:
[Shouts] Coo-eee!! 

FORD:
[Shouts] Coo-eee!! 

FORD: 
[Shouts] Coo-eee!! 

ARTHUR:
[Shouts] Coo- 

ARTHUR:
Ford! It’s coming down! 
Look it’s coming down to us! 

FORD:
I don’t believe it. 
It’s impossible 

ARTHUR:
But it’s happening. 

FORD:
Hey, I don’t like the look of that. 

ARTHUR:
What? 

FORD:
It’s wobbling. I think it’s gonna crash. 
[Shouts] Fire your retro-rockets, you idiot!! 

[The retro-rockets fire

FORD:
[Shouts] Too hard!! Much too hard!! 
Run Arthur! Run for your life! 
Make for the hill! 

ARTHUR:
What hill? 

FORD:
Well there was a hill there a moment ago. 

ARTHUR:
What that rather nice one with all the daffodils? 

FORD:
Damn the daffodils, the whole hill’s gone! 

ARTHUR:
The ground’s heaving beneath us! 

FORD:
That ship’s causing a bloody earthquake. 

ARTHUR:
Look the hill’s come back! 

[Sound of volcano erupting] 

ARTHUR:
It’s erupting! 
It must be on a volcanic fault! 

FORD:
[Shouts] 
Watch outtttttt! 

[Massive volcanic eruption and sounds of destruction, eventually tailing off into echoey silence…

ARTHUR:
Well. We did it. 

FORD:
Yeah. 

ARTHUR:
We flagged down a logically-nonexistent 
spaceship with a towel. 

FORD:
Yeah, great! 

ARTHUR:
Marvelous! 

FORD:
Wonderful! 

ARTHUR:
Terrific! 

FORD:
Tell me Arthur..? 

ARTHUR:
Yes? 

FORD :
This boulder were stuck under… 
how big would you say it was? Roughly.

ARTHUR :
Hmm. About the size of 
Coventry Cathedral. 

FORD :
Do you think we could move it? 
… Ha. Just asking. 
Can you feel my rucksack anywhere? 

ARTHUR :
Ummmmm. Hmm. Here. 

FORD :
Ya see, it’s in these sorts of situations that 
it’s really good to have a guide to help you. 

ARTHUR :
What? 

FORD:
’The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’. 
It tells you what to do in any eventuality. 

ARTHUR:
What, even being stuck in a crack in the ground beneath a giant boulder which you can’t move 
with no hope of rescue? 

FORD :
Yeah. It’ll have something. Watch. 

[The Guide starts up

The BOOK :
What to do if you find yourself stuck 
in a crack in the ground underneath 
a giant boulder you can’t move 
with no hope of rescue
Consider how lucky you are that 
Life has been good to you so far.

Alternatively, if Life hasn’t been good to you so far -
- which, given your current circumstances seems more likely -
-  Consider how lucky you are that it 
won’t be troubling you much longer.

FORD :
It’s time I did something 
about that book.