In LESS Than a Second..?

[Shadow's Lair]

The Valeyard : 

You see, Princess, You cannot 

Escape Your Destiny.

ASTRA: 

My Destiny. 

The Valeyard : 

It is for this that you were born. 

The Sixth Child of The Sixth Generation 

of The Sixth Dynasty of Atrios. 

Born to be The Sixth and Final Segment 

of The Key to Time. 

Come, Princess, 

Prepare Yourself. 

ASTRA: 

I am Ready. 

(Astra reaches for the tracer, and turns into The Segment.) 

SHADOW: 

Ah! 

MERAK: 

Astra! 

(K9 blasts through the wall, disrupting 

The Shadow's ecstasy.) 

The Valeyard :

What is This? 

K9: 

Apologies, Master. 

The Valeyard :

You mechanical idiot. 

K9: 

But there is An Intruder here. 

The Valeyard :

I ordered her to eliminate him.....

K9: 

It shall be done. 

The Valeyard :

Wait. Where is The Doctor? 

(K9 trundles past the Key and turns to face The Shadow.) 

K9: 

Ahem. The Doctor and Drax 

have been eliminated. 

The Valeyard :

Good. Then These Two 

shall stay and witness 

My Moment of Glory, 

My -- apotheosis. 

K9: (sotto) 

Master. 

The Valeyard :

Mine at last! 

(The Shadow reaches for The Tracer.) 

K9: 

Now, Master. 

(A panel opens in K9's side, and 

The Doctor and Drax jump out.) 

ROMANA: 

No, you'll break the time loop! 

MERAK: 

Millions will die! 

The Valeyard :

A small Beginning. 

Bwahahahahaha! 

Tom : 

The stabiliser, Drax, now! 

(Drax restores the Doctor to normal height, then himself. The Doctor pounces on The Sixth Segment.) 

The Valeyard :

You interfering fool -- No one can resist 

The Power of Darkness! 

(The Doctor shines The Light of The Key 

into The Shadow's eyes, and he recoils.) 

Tom :

Quick, back to The TARDIS! Quick!

[Outside The Shadow's lair]

DRAX: 

You go on, Doctor. I'll hold them off. 

Tom :

How will you get back? 

DRAX: 

The TransMat shaft. 

See you on The TARDIS.

[Shadow's lair]

The Valeyard :

Stop him! He must be stopped! Stop him!

[Outside The TARDIS]

Tom :

Good. 

(The Doctor goes inside.) 

ROMANA: 

Come on, Merak. 

Tom : 

Come on, Romana. 

Merak, get inside! 

MERAK: 

No! 

Tom :

Quick, get inside, man! 

MERAK: 

No, Doctor, I'm staying here. 

Tom :

What! 

MERAK: 

I'm staying here to look for Astra. 

ROMANA: 

But what about The Shadow? 

MERAK: 

Astra! Astra! 

(Merak leaves.) 

Tom : 

No, Romana, come on.

[TARDIS]

Tom : 

Set the coordinates for Zeos. 

(The hole in the fake piece has grown.) 

ROMANA: 

We're Murderers. First Astra 

and now Merak. 

Tom : 

Romana, it wasn't our idea to use 

The Royal House of Atrios 

as carriers, was it? 

ROMANA: 

No, but what happened 

to Astra was Our Fault. 

We're just pawns here to do 

The Guardian's dirty work. 

Tom : 

I don't like it any more than you do, but it's done. 

Have you set those coordinates yet? 

ROMANA: 

Is that all you can say? She was a living being, 

and now what is she? A component. 

And Merak thinks she's still alive. 

No power should have that right, 

not even The Guardians. 

We must Do Something! 

Tom :

Well, you could start by setting 

the coordinates for Zeos. 

ROMANA: 

Why? 

Tom : 

Romana, you get carried away --

If you don't set those coordinates, 

millions of people will die and this time 

it really will be our fault. 

Have you forgotten the time loop? 

ROMANA: 

No, I hadn't forgotten the time loop. 

Can't you put the new segment in? 

Tom : 

In LESS than a second?

The Armageddon Factor

 

"These Computers give us ACCESS to The World --

Troop movements, 

Soviet missile tests, 

Shifting weather patterns.

It all flows into THIS room 

and then into what we call 

The W.O.P.R computer."

"WOPR, what is that?"

"The War Operation Plan Response.

Well, The W.O.P.R spends ALL its time THINKING about World War III.

Twenty-four hours a day, 

365 days a year, 

it plays an endless series 

of War Games using ALL 

available information on 

The State of The World.

The WOPR has already FOUGHT 

World War III AS A GAME, 

Time and Time again.

It estimates 

Soviet Responses 

to Our Responses, 

to Their Responses 

and so on.

Estimates Damage, 

Counts The Dead, 

and looks for ways to 

IMPROVE The SCORE."

"But The POINT is, 

that The Key Decisions of EVERY 

conceivable option IN a nuclear crisis 

have [already] been MADE by the WOPR 

[within the context of a Joke/The False Reality of The War Game].

"You're Saying that THIS 

trillion dollar hardware 

is at The MERCY 

of THOSE Men 

with The Brass Keys."

"That's exactly right.

Whose ONLY PROBLEM 

is that They're HUMAN.

But in 30 days we could 

replace them with electronic relays.

Get The Men out of The Loop."

What Would The Valeyard Say?

Q. ) What Would The Valeyard Say?

A.) He would say,

[Outside Ryan's home]

Our Lady : 

What did you mean in your speech, 

you thought you'd run out of Time? 

GRAHAM: 

Oh, well, er, I had cancer and er... 

Well, strictly speaking, 

I'm still in remission, three years gone. 

And Grace was my chemo nurse. 

That's where we met and fell in love. 

So by rights, I shouldn't even be here. 

YASMIN: 

Have you got Family? 

Our Lady: 

No. Lost them a long time ago. 

RYAN: 

How do you cope with that? 

Our Lady : 

I carry Them with Me. 

What They would've Thought 

and Said and Done. 

I make Them 

a part of 

Who I Am. 

So even though They're gone from The World, 

They're never gone from Me. 

GRAHAM: 

That's the sort of thing 

Grace would have said. 

VALEYARD: 

I really must curb these urges — I've no wish to be contaminated by your whims and idiosyncrasies. 

Mister Six : 

Quite so. But what I •don’t• comprehend — 

(The Valeyard vanishes.) 

GLITZ: 

He's over ‘ere, Doc — 

Slippery customer, 

Your Other Persona. 

Mister Six: 

What I don't comprehend 

is WHY You want Me DEAD. 

No — No, let me rephrase that — 

It would satisfy my curiosity 

to know why you should go to such extraordinary lengths…. 

to KILL Me. 

[ Because, of course, he would have to get Someone ELSE to Do it FOR Him. ]

(The Valeyard relocates to the dunes.)

VALEYARD: 

Come now, Doctor. 

How else can I obtain My Freedom?

Operate as a COMPLETE entity — unfettered by YOUR side 

of My Existence? 

[ Which means, therefore, that He IS still IN there, somewhere — Buried Alive.

Otherwise, why would He need to get rid of Him in The Past…? ]

Only by ridding myself of you and your misplaced morality, 

your constant crusading, 

your —

GLITZ: 

Idiotic honesty? 

VALEYARD: 

OAF. •Microbe•. 

GLITZ: 

Oh Pardon me for trying to help. 

I'm neutral in this set-up, you know. 

(The Valeyard returns to the Doctor.) 

VALEYARD: 

Only by releasing myself from the misguided maxims that you nurture can I be free. 

(The Valeyard vanishes.) 

GLITZ: 

Sounds to me like Armageddon's beckoning you, Doc. 

VALEYARD: 

With you destroyed and 

no longer able to constrain me, 

and with unlimited access to the Matrix, 

there will be nothing beyond my reach.

You Gotta Have Have Faith

We're caught in the middle of a maelstrom, 

and we can't get out without 

our champion. 

28     INT.     LOBBY AT HOTEL / ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS

Fred lights white candles as Lorne reads off the incantation.

LORNE

(reading) Violence restrained, demons disarmed. 

For mortals within these walls, no harm. 

Protection and safety this charm doth endow 

to make this shelter a sanctuary now. (with big hand gestures)

Everyone looks around, waiting for something to happen.

GUNN

That it?

LORNE

Well, if we followed the recipe...should be cake. A demon violence-free zone cake.

FRED

I don't know, Lorne. It doesn't feel like anything's different.

CONNOR

(walks away to sit down on the couch) 'Cause it's not. Like every other lame spell you people try, it didn't work. It never works. I've pretty much concluded that magic sucks. I mean, if I were you guys, I wo—

Lorne sneaks up behind Connor and tries to hit him with a candlestick, but a force field stops him and sends him backward.

LORNE

See? It works sometimes. Oh. It also smarts like the dickens. (leans against the front desk in pain)

WESLEY

(walks in from the basement) Sanctuary spell's working?

LORNE

Yeah, like a charm. Literally.

WESLEY

Good. It'll make this easier.

GUNN

Make what easier?

WESLEY

Where's Cordelia?

FRED

Upstairs asleep. She still feels weak.

GUNN

Make what easier?

WESLEY

(putting on his coat) We're going to bring Angelus in alive.

CONNOR

No, we're not.

GUNN

I thought you said capturing him wasn't an option.

WESLEY

Changed my mind.

CONNOR

Change it back.

WESLEY

We get rid of Angelus, then what? We still have a beast we don't know how to kill. We know it's working for something much worse, but we don't know what it is. We're caught in the middle of a maelstrom, and we can't get out without our champion. We're gonna save Angel, and I know who we need to help us do it.

Cut to:

29     INT.     PRISON VISITING ROOM - DAY

Faith walks down a corridor of prison bars into a visiting room where prisoners sit on one side of a table, and visitors on the other. 

Prisoner and visitor talk to each other through phone handsets, 

separated from one another by a pane of glass. 

Faith sits in a chair opposite Wesley.

FAITH

(picks up the phone, talks into it) 

They told me my lawyer was here to see me. 

You my lawyer now, Wes?

WESLEY

(to phone) 

Hello, Faith. How are you?

FAITH

Still Alive. Never thought I'd live long enough 

to see you paying me a visit.

WESLEY

A lot's happened.

FAITH

Whatever it is suits you. 

I mean, you're looking... (checks him out) good.

WESLEY

You know what's going on in L.A.?

FAITH

Seen the news, sure. 

Never-ending Night, Rain of Fire. 

Team Angel must really have their hands full.

WESLEY

You don't know the half of it.

FAITH

(leans forward) 

But you're here to fill in 

the blanks for me. Why?

WESLEY

We need you.

FAITH

(sarcastically) 

Well, uh, I hate to wet the paper for you, 

Wes, but I'm kinda unavailable right now. 

Maybe you want to check back in a few decades 

when my parole comes up.

WESLEY

You need to know—

FAITH

It's Armageddon time. I dig. 

The Last Thing You Meed's me in the mix.

 

Besides, Angel'll come shining through 

in the end like he always does.

WESLEY

Angel's gone, Faith. 

(Faith stops) 

Angelus is Back.

 

(Faith stares at Wesley worriedly)

FAITH

(deadpan) 

Step away from The Glass.

Faith hangs up the phone. 

Wesley stares at her, then hangs up his phone and steps back as Faith stands and jumps through the glass headfirst. 

She tumbles and stands, ready to fight off the security guard. 

Faith and Wes jump through the outside window.

Cut to:

30     EXT.     PRISON BUILDING - DAY

Faith and Wesley land on a car roof, smashing it in and busting the windows. They jumped to the ground.

FAITH

You OK?

WESLEY

Five by five.

Fade to black.

ACT III:

31     INT.     WESLEY'S JEEP

Faith changes clothes in the back seat as Wesley drives them both back to Los Angeles.

FAITH

A kid. Angel's got a kid.

WESLEY

Connor.

FAITH

A teenage kid born last year.

WESLEY

I told you he grew up in a hell dimension.

FAITH

Right. And, what, Cordelia spent her last summer as—

WESLEY

A divine being.

FAITH

Uh-huh. (climbs into the front passenger seat) Can I just ask—what the hell are you people doing?

WESLEY

Leading complicated lives, obviously.

FAITH

Unleashing Angelus to help you stop this demon who put the lights out. That's just...

WESLEY

The Beast. The demon who put out the lights—called the Beast.

FAITH

(shakes her head) 

Gas to the flame's all I'm saying.

WESLEY

I wouldn't worry about the police coming after you. Not yet. With everything that's happening, an escaped convict won't even register on their radar.

FAITH

(looks out the window) 

I'm not gonna kill him, Wesley. 

Angelus. 

(shakes her head) 

I don't care what you thought you sprung me for. 

Angel's the only one in my life who's never given up on me. 

There's no way I'm giving up on—

WESLEY

I know. That's why it had to be you. 

Just wondering if you're up to it. (stops the car)

FAITH

If I'm—?

WESLEY

You have no idea what it's like out there. It's a vampire demon free-for-all all the time. Maybe you're a little rusty.

FAITH

(nods) Maybe I am.

WESLEY

Maybe we should find out.

FAITH

What did you have in—

A vampire reaches in through the rolled-down window to grab Faith by the hair and pull her out of the car. Wesley opens his car door into a vampire, knocking it to the ground. The vampire gets up, but Wesley knocks him down again. It gets up, but Wes stops him.

WESLEY

Ah. (points over his shoulder to Faith) She's the one you want.

The vampire looks over to see Faith's fighting off a couple of vampires at once.

VAMPIRE

Slayer. (panics and runs away)

Faith's still fighting off the vampires. Wesley tosses a stake to her. She stakes and dusts the vampires with ease.

WESLEY

Thought you could use a little release. Feel natural?

FAITH

(shrugs) Ah, it's like riding a biker.

Cut to:

32     INT.     LOBBY AT HOTEL / ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS

Connor's upstairs practicing sword-fighting on the balcony. Gunn's in the lobby loading his crossbow. Lorne and Fred are also there.

LORNE

Oh, relax, boys. The spell's working. And I still got the slight migraine to prove it.

GUNN

Yeah, maybe so, but if Angelus shows up, I wanna be ready.

Wesley and Faith walk in through the front doors.

WESLEY

We are...now.

FAITH

Suh-weet crib.

WESLEY

Everyone, this is Faith, the vampire slayer.

FRED

Hello, Faith, I'm—

FAITH

Fred. Yeah, Wes kinda gave me the skinny on you.

FRED

Oh.

CORDELIA

(walking down the stairs into the lobby) Faith? What the hell is she doing here?

FAITH

(waves) Nice to see you too, Cor.

WESLEY

She's here to help.

CORDELIA

Oh, gee, that's great. Oh, wait a sec. Wasn't she convicted of murder and sent to a state correctional facility for like a gazillion years?

FAITH

(smirks) Murder 2, 25 to life, for the record.

CORDELIA

So now you brought psycho slayer out of retirement to kill Angelus?

FAITH

(walks up to Cordelia) Cordelia, you have every right to feel that way about me. You have no reason to trust me, but I don't have loads of time, so why don't we save it until after this is over. Cool? (claps her hands) OK, let's get down to it. We're gonna keep this hunting party tight. Gunn, right?

GUNN

Yeah.

FAITH

Love the name. I hear you're a good fighter.

GUNN

I hold my own.

FAITH

That's a shame. You're with me, Wes, and the kid.

CONNOR

The kid has a name.

FAITH

(turns to look at Connor) Connor. (to Gunn) Arm yourself how you like, but I want you to carry the tranq gun. If I can't take him down, I want you to be ready to take the shot, yeah? (to everyone) In case anyone has any other ideas, this is a salvage mission, not search and destroy, OK?

CONNOR

No. Not OK. You think you can just breeze in here, telling everyone what to do? You're not a part of this. If you think I'm not gonna kill Angelus if he comes at me, then—

FAITH

(in his face) Listen up, junior. When need a blood hound, I'll call you. If Angelus needs putting down, I'll be the one to do it, not you. So... is there anything else you're not OK with? Good. (walks away from Connor) Show me the weapons.

Cut to:

33     EXT.     STREET IN LOS ANGELES

A young woman's running away from two vampires who are chasing her. Angelus steps up to her and puts his arm around her.

YOUNG WOMAN

Help me.

ANGELUS

It's all right, doll. I've got you. Shh.

YOUNG WOMAN

I don't know how to thank you.

ANGELUS

(in vamp face, turns to the woman) I do. Scream for me.

YOUNG WOMAN

(screaming) Aah!

Angelus goes to bite the woman, but is interrupted when he overhears three other vampires talking in the street.

VAMPIRE 3

The slayer? You sure?

VAMPIRE 4

I just got word. She's in town.

Angelus smiles and lets the woman go. He goes to a phone booth, dials.

ANGELUS

(to phone) Hi, Dawn. Yeah, it's me. 

Is your sister home? 

She is...? 

(hangs up) 

It's The Other One....

Cut to:

34     EXT.     STREET IN LOS ANGELES

Faith, Connor, Wesley, and Gunn are walking down the street, looking for Angelus.

CONNOR

(to Faith) So, vampire slayers. I was told about them. How come you're always girls?

FAITH

I dunno. Better at it, I guess.

CONNOR

You haven't seen what I can do.

FAITH

Let's not.

They come up to a chain link fence.

CONNOR

He was here. Just.

Connor goes through the fence; the others follow.

FAITH

Eyes and ears peeled. Watch the periph. Hey, nobody make a move until I—

A vampire jumps out in front of Connor. Connor immediately swings his sword at the vampire's neck, cutting off its head, and dusting it. Faith pushes him against the dumpster nearby.

FAITH

You deficient? What did I just say?

CONNOR

He was attacking!

FAITH

You thought it was Angelus. (lets him go) You can't listen, you're no good to me. (to Gunn and Wesley) Get him out of here. Someone take him back to the hotel.

CONNOR

What?

GUNN

Yeah, easier said. 

The kid's got a history of not doing what he's told.

FAITH

(nods, glares at Connor) 

He'll do what I tell him.

CONNOR

Yeah, sure I will. 

(nods and walks away)

FAITH

(stops Connor, pushes him against the dumpster again; he tries to fight her off, but to no avail) 

I get it. You're a super-being.

Connor pushes Faith away, but she engages him. They fight as Gunn and Wesley look on, not stepping in. Finally, Faith points her crossbow at Connor's neck.

FAITH

Are you a murderer? 

'Cause I am.

 

If it comes down to You or Angelus, 

you haven't shown me a thing 

to make me want to take your side.

Connor raises his hands and backs away. 

He picks up his sword and walks away.

GUNN

I like her. 

(follows Connor)

FAITH

(to Wes) 

Come on.