Showing posts with label Idiot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Idiot. Show all posts

Sunday 10 September 2017

It's Old High Gallifreyan for 'Shadow'




VALEYARD: 
You have your Guardian and I have mine. 
You and I are on the same quest, Doctor, but whereas you have been scavenging across space and time, I have located the sixth piece here. 

DOCTOR: 

Oh. 

VALEYARD: 

Your are Inferior, just as your powers are Inferior. 
Once we have the Key to Time, we shall set not two small planets but the two halves of the entire cosmos at war, and their mutual destruction will be music in our ears. 

Unlike Others, it is not Power We seek, but Destruction that We Glory in. 

Fetch The Key. 

DOCTOR: 
Very well. 



DOCTOR [on screen]: 
Not like those innocents back on Atrios, you know. 
Time Lords sent by the Guardian to recover the Key to Time. 

VALEYARD: 
I know Who You Are, Doctor.

I have always known. 

(An image of Shadow's face fills the tunnel.

VALEYARD : 

I have been waiting for you. 
I, too, serve a Guardian. 
A Guardian equal and opposite in power to the one who sent you. 
The Black Guardian, 
He Who Walks in Darkness, 
and you are in 
The Valley of The Shadow. 

DOCTOR: 
No, no, no! No!

(The Doctor appears to fall down a hole.)



[Shadow's lair]

K9 [on screen]: 
The Doctor is captured, Master.

VALEYARD: 
You see, Princess, 
You Cannot Escape Your Destiny. 

ASTRA: 
My Destiny. 

VALEYARD: 
It is for this that you were born. 

The Sixth Child of The Sixth Generation of The Sixth Dynasty of Atrios. 

Born to be The Sixth and Final Segment of the Key to Time. 

Come, Princess, prepare yourself. 

ASTRA: 
I am ready. 

(Astra reaches for the tracer, and turns into the segment.) 

VALEYARD: 
Ah! 

MERAK: 
Astra! 

(K9 blasts through the wall, disrupting the Shadow's ecstasy.

VALEYARD: 
What is this? 
 
K9: 
Apologies, Master. 
 
VALEYARD: 
You Mechanical Idiot. 
 
K9: 
But there is An Intruder here. 
 
 
VALEYARD: 
I ordered her to eliminate him. 
 
K9: 
It shall be done. 
 
VALEYARD: 
Wait. Where is The Doctor? 
 
(K9 trundles past the Key and turns to face The Shadow.) 
 
K9: 
Ahem. The Doctor and Drax have been eliminated. 
 
VALEYARD: 
Good. Then these two shall stay and witness my moment of glory, my apotheosis
 
K9: (sotto) 
Master. 
 
VALEYARD: Mine at last! 
 
(The Shadow reaches for the tracer.) 
 
K9: Now, Master. 
 
(A panel opens in K9's side, and the Doctor and Drax jump out.) 
 
ROMANA: 
No, you'll break the time loop! 
 
MERAK: 
Millions will die! 
 
VALEYARD: 
A small beginning. Bwahahahahaha! 
DOCTOR: 
The stabiliser, Drax, now! 
 
(Drax restores the Doctor to normal height, then himself. The Doctor pounces on the sixth segment.) 
 
VALEYARD: 
You interfering fool. No one can resist the power of darkness! 
(The Doctor shines the light of the Key into the Shadow's eyes, and he recoils.) 
DOCTOR: Quick, back to the Tardis! Quick!





ROMANA: 
Right, I'll set the coordinates for Gallifrey, shall I? 

DOCTOR: Why Gallifrey? 

ROMANA: 
Well, that's where we're going, isn't it? 

DOCTOR: 
We have the power to do anything we like. 
Absolute power over every particle in the universe. 
Everything that has ever existed or ever will exist. As from this moment are you listening to me, Romana? 

ROMANA: 
Yes, of course I'm listening. 

DOCTOR: 
Because if you're not listening I can make you listen, because I can do anything. 

(The Doctor rolls his eyes back like a maniac.) 

DOCTOR: 
As from this moment there's no such thing as free will in the entire universe. 
There's only my will, because I possess the Key to Time! 

ROMANA: 
Doctor, are you all right? 

DOCTOR: (normal) 
Well of course I'm all right. 
But supposing I wasn't all right. 
This thing makes me feel in such a way I'd be very worried if I felt like that about someone else feeling like this about that. 
Do you understand? 

ROMANA: 
Yes. 

DOCTOR: 
What do you understand?

ROMANA: 
That the sooner we hand this over to the White Guardian

BOTH: 
The better! 

(Dramatic organ chords, and the Guardian appears on the scanner, dressed in white.) 

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
My congratulations to you, Doctor. 

DOCTOR: 
Oh, thank you, sir, thank you. 

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
You performed your task with admirable dispatch. 

The Universe has much to thank you for. 

DOCTOR: 
Well, it was a pleasure, sir. Wasn't it a pleasure, Romana? 

ROMANA: 
Doctor, that's not the President. 

DOCTOR: 
What's the President got to do with it? 

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
I can change my form or shape at will, my dear child. 
I appeared to you as the President so as not to alarm you. 

DOCTOR: 
Just be careful who you're talking to. 

ROMANA: Sorry, I -

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
You have the Key to Time, Doctor? 

DOCTOR: 
Ah. Oh, I have, I have indeed, sir. Do you like it? 

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
Do I like it? Yes, yes, I suppose you could say that I like it. 

DOCTOR: 
Yes, we're very proud of it, sir. Aren't we, Romana, proud of it? 

ROMANA: 
What? Oh, yes, yes. 

DOCTOR: 
What happens now, sir? 
You said, if I remember in our first conversation, that once it was assembled it would stop the entire universe and enable you to restore the natural balances of good and evil throughout the whole of the universe. 

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
That is correct, Doctor. 
So, will you release the Key to me that I may do this? 

DOCTOR: 
Certainly, sir, yes, certainly, of course. 
Key to Time, I command you... 
Could I ask you something, sir? 

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
Yes, Doctor? 

DOCTOR: 
It's just that, well, the Key is already assembled, sir. 
I mean, couldn't you restore the balances now? 

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
Yes, Doctor, but I must have the Key for safe keeping. It is an awesomely powerful key. 

DOCTOR: 
Oh yes, sir, yes, and mustn't be allowed to fall into the wrong hands. I quite understand, sir, yes. 

Key to Time, I command. What about the sixth segment? 

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
What about it, Doctor? 

DOCTOR: 
Well, I mean, as you know, sir, the sixth segment was in fact a human being, and I mean, if the pieces are maintained in their present pattern it means that she'll be imprisoned forever, sir. 

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
That is, of course, regrettable. 

DOCTOR: 
Very regrettable. 

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
But with the fate of the universe at stake. 

DOCTOR: 
Quite. You can't be too careful. 
I quite understand. 
Key to Time, I command that you stay exactly where you are! 

(The Doctor hits a TARDIS control.) 

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
Doctor! You have fully activated all the TARDIS' defences! 

DOCTOR: 
We can't be too careful, can we? 
And it would be a terrible tragedy for the universe if it suddenly turned out that I was colour blind. 

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
Doctor, release the Key to me immediately! 

DOCTOR: 
Unable to distinguish between the White Guardian and the Black Guardian. 

ROMANA: 
Doctor, what do you mean? 

DOCTOR: 
Look. 

(The Guardian snarls and turns into a negative of its former image.) 

DOCTOR: 
Don't you see? The White Guardian would never have had such a callous disregard for human life. 

ROMANA: 

Of course. Astra, the sixth segment. 
He would have dispersed it immediately. 

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
Doctor, you shall die for this! 

DOCTOR: 
I think not. Remember, the Key to Time is still mine, rage all you like.

GUARDIAN [on scanner]: 
I shall destroy you for this! 
I will disperse every particle of your being to the furthest reaches of eternity! 

DOCTOR: 
Ah well, I wish I could stay and watch you try, but you know how it is. 
Places to go, people to see, things to do. Romana? 

ROMANA: 
Yes?

DOCTOR: 
When I give the signal 

ROMANA: 
Yes? 

(The Doctor reaches for The tracer.) 

DOCTOR: 
Dematerialise. 

(He takes the tracer from The Key.) 

DOCTOR: 
Now! 

(And snaps the tracer in two. The first five pieces of the Key hurtle off into time and space, and the sixth becomes Astra again.)



DOCTOR: 
You see? I think of everything. 

ROMANA: 
Doctor? 

DOCTOR: 
Hmm? 

ROMANA: 
What exactly have you done with the Key to Time? 

DOCTOR: 
Key to Time? 
Oh, well, I just scattered it round through Space and Time. 

ROMANA: 
I see. So where are we going? 

DOCTOR: 
Going? I don't know. 

ROMANA: 
You have absolutely no sense of responsibility whatsoever. 

DOCTOR: 
What? 

ROMANA: 
You're capricious, arrogant, self-opinionated, irrational 
and you don't even know where we're going. 

DOCTOR: 
Exactly. 

ROMANA: 
What? 

DOCTOR: 
Well, if I knew where I was going, 
there'd be a chance The Black Guardian would, too

ROMANA: Oh. 

DOCTOR: 
Hence this new device. 

ROMANA: 
What is it? 

DOCTOR: 
Well, it's called a randomiser and it's fitted to the guidance system and operates under a very complex scientific principle called pot luck. 

(The Doctor sets The TARDIS going.) 

DOCTOR: 
Now no one knows where we're going. Not even the Black Guardian. 

ROMANA: 
Not even us.