UC Sunnydale classroom.
Buffy is sitting among The Students,
yawning while The Professor lectures.
PROFESSOR:
Now, Rasputin was associated
with a certain obscure religious sect.
(Buffy taps her pencil on her desk.
The girl next to her glares.
Buffy sees her and stops tapping the pencil
but continues fidgeting)
PROFESSOR:
They held the tenet that
in order to be forgiven,
one first had to sin.
Rasputin embraced this doctrine
and proceeded to sin impressively
and repeatedly.
The notion that he was in fact evil
gained strength years later,
(Buffy fiddles with her pencil, drops it,
shrugs and doesn't pick it up)
when The Conspirators who set out to Kill Him
found it nearly impossible to do so.
BUFFY: (to herself)
Nearly impossible?
PROFESSOR:
I'm sorry, there's A Question?
The Students look at Buffy.
PROFESSOR: (sighing)
Miss Summers, of course.
Buffy makes a pained face, stands up as The Professor gives her a disapproving look.
BUFFY:
I, uh, about, you know,
killing him ...
You know, they, they poisoned him and,
and they beat him and they shot him,
and he didn't die.
PROFESSOR:
.....until They rolled
His Body in a carpet and
drowned him in a canal.
BUFFY:
But there are reported sightings of him as
late as the 1930s, aren't there?
PROFESSOR:
I can assure you there is near-consensus in
the academic community regarding
The Death of Rasputin.
BUFFY:
There was also near-consensus
about Columbus, you know, until someone
asked The Vikings what they were up to in
the 1400s, and they're like, "Discovering this America-shaped continent."
(Professor looks annoyed)
I just ... I'm only saying, you know,
it might be interesting,
if we ... came at it from,
you know, a different perspective, that's all.
PROFESSOR:
Well, I'm sorry if you
find these facts
so boring, Miss Summers.
Maybe you'd prefer I step aside,
so that you can teach
Your Own Course :
Speculation 101 perhaps?
(The other students laugh)
Intro to Flights of Fancy?
(The students laugh more)
BUFFY:
I only meant-
PROFESSOR:
What was it you were going on about last week? The Mysterious Sleeping Patterns
of The Prussian generals?
(Buffy looks annoyed)
Now, some of Us
are here to learn.
Believe it or Not,
We're interested in finding out
What Actually Happened.
It's called 'Studying History'.
You can sit down now.
Unless you have something else
to add, Professor?
Buffy scowls, sits.
