Where's MY Twin?

Christopher Eccleston Breaks Down After Admitting To Bullying | Good Mor...

Q. :

Christopher Eccleston who joins us now

is involved in the Stand up to Bullying campaign --

Have you ever been bullied did

you become A Bully as a result of that....?

What's been your background 

personally in all this -- ?

Chris :

Both. I -- I was bullied at school 

from the age of five by a girlwho 

was seven and it happened every playtime --

playtime became terror time for me, 

she would trap me against the wall,

she would make me do sums -- maths 

as we now call it -- and it really coloured

my life -- I didn't want to go to school 

I certainly didn't want to go out at playtime

 but this was in 1969 on a council estate 

in Manchester and my -- as I've grown up 

and I've thought about that girl,  she was --

 how could I say....?

she seemed not as cared-for, physically,

you know, as some of the other children and -- 

and my thought is "God knows what was 

going on at home..." because there

was definitely a sense that this girl

was very very troubled, and 

that's what I take from it really --

Q. :

....and how did that

How did you become A Bully,

make you then become --

Chris :

Well, I was but I --I was bullied there,

 and then when I moved up to the juniors 

I was bullied again by a boy and one of 

the big factors I think, for all people 

who were bullied is shame;

and I could never tell my parents 

that I was being bullied because 

I grew up in quite a macho — 

Macho culture you're supposed 

to stand up to yourself;

—If I'd have told my dad he would have flattened

the school and I didn't want that —

I eventually told my mom about the second

bully The Boy, but when she came to school, 

I was so terrified that I identified the wrong boy 

so that was a very bad thing —  and then 

there was a period when I bullied 

for a very short period and I did stop it myself, 

Thank God, but it's A Shame that 

I carry to this day; and I can't —

the pop psychology of it is, I bullied 

because I was bullied

I don't know I don't know that except that 

I know that I feel a great deal of shame.

Q. :

How did your bullying manifest

how did your bullying which you know,

you still think about clearly how

did that manifest itself

what did you Don to 

Chris :

….it was it was um it was a very

sensitive boy in my class and I used at

break time used to make him give me some

of his crisps and I did it a few times

and I'm very very ashamed of it —

Q. :

Extraordinary. You mean — you're getting

emotional as you remember this.... 

Chris :

-- oh yeah

it's been a it's been a great shame and

I would like to apologise to him and you

know who that guy is

I know — I know he's not him here 

I don't know where he is — 

you really feel that

you would like to apologize

of course do you think that he was

Do you think you were bullied by others

subjected to bullying by other people as

well

Chris :

Probably. He was probably like myself

when I went into the infants vulnerable

and sensitive and I mean you can make

the leap of Oh I felt powerless so I

made somebody else feel powerless —

I have to say, you know, saying this um — on

television is very difficult but I did

self-regulate if you like, I did stop myself 

and I can remember doing it now

knowing actually feeling dislike for

myself as I did it so it's 

a very complex thing 

Q. :

What is your advice to —

Advice for people who are being bullied

people who are either being bullied

because you've been that person 

or, who are part of a bullying culture

themselves, what should they be thinking

what should they be doing to try 

and overcome these two things 

those who are

being bullied do me yeah those are with

us those who are being bullying then

those who are doing the bullying well

those who are being bullied bullying you

know I think certainly the culture I

grew up in you were in encouraged not to

tell tales you know and it's called

How to stop bullying

snitching

yes fiction and there's a real you know

in some schools the idea that you would

tell on somebody treating you like that

well it's very friends what I would say

to the person what I would say to the

person who's being bullied don't think

of yourself think of others because if

you point it out to the teachers etc you

are actually preventing this person

bullying somebody else so if you don't

want to do it for yourself do it for

others and if you're doing the bullying

stop.

Q. :

How did you stop the self-regulation

they you talked about, how did you find

the strength to do that --?

Chris :

I -- I just knew it

was wrong from the beginning

and I think I must have come and I can't

say that I remember it it was a boy that

I liked very much

i I went with a feeling that I had the

first time I did it that it was wrong

and I stopped.

Christopher Eccleston on Suffering 

Anorexia Since the Age of Six | Lorraine

Christopher Eccleston became a household name after taking on the role of The Doctor back in 2005 and is now appearing in the hit TV series 'The A Word' but reveals that this role was the only thing keeping him going. 

Christopher, who has suffered from depression and anorexia since the age of six, has published his memoir 

'I Love the Bones of You' which follows his struggles 

with anorexia as a child, to his father's dementia.

Broadcast on 08/10/2019

this is a cracking book and it's also in

Unix it says I love the ones of you my

father in the making of me and a lot of

it is about your your dad yeah what a

man yeah yeah yeah very much a man of

his class

very very bright man very very

hard-working but not given the

opportunities that I've been given see I

identified with so much of this book it

was quite extraordinary it really was

especially what you say about class yeah

you know because sometimes and and you

know that sometimes you got a reputation

to be in a bit chippy 

Mmm.

…because you stood up for yourself —

yeah 

but because of where you're from 

and your background you were called 

chippy rather than assertive.

Oh, well, that's the class system —

interaction is you're a working class

person and you speak out and you're

chippy so who's defining exactly what is

chippy and I would say 

it's the likes of Boris Johnson and 

The Bullingdon Club, you know?

Exactly it's so, it's so interesting,

 there's so many different labels and 

like I said incredibly honest and 

I think about you as a boy what

you must've been about six 

and you looked in the mirror and 

you didn't like what you saw 

Chris :

Yeah, I was very critical --

I remember seeing photographs of myself,

and I was critical of my body-composition 

from a very young age; 

I don't know whether that was to do with

my identical twin brothers -- I grew up

with identical twin brothers which 

I think's can can make you compare, and say

"Well, where's my twin....?”
....might be pop-psychology, but, yeah --

I think eating disorders are often about

Perfection, an unrealistic idea of 

how we should look, so I think perhaps 

it was going on there you can 

I was thinking "You can look better, 

you can look better pre-puberty, 

so it's -- no idea.

you were going to do that well look like

the drama of being a child we don't

really know what children are I've got a

six year old in a seven year old mmm 

Do we really know how they're perceiving

the world...? oh you doing especially no you

know you really really do it daily I

mean it could have Lincoln killed you

though yeah yeah yeah it could

it's incredible that you're here I mean

you forgot that sort of inner steel I

guess that may come from your dad

because he was like that mom and dad

yeah they were both born in 20s and the

30s

lived through the depression then free

war immediately post-war and there's a

food thing there of course you know

their attitude to food probably inform

my attitude to food what sort of

reaction have you had Christopher to the

book what people been seeing to you I've

been taken aback yeah because I get

stopped

obviously I'm used to being stopped in

the street about the acting work people

are now stopping me and saying thank you

for speaking about depression thank you

for speaking about anorexia dementia I

mean doesn't sound like there's a lot of

laughs in the book but I've tried to do

know it tried to do it in a human human

way and I caused a bit of a wobble a

couple of weeks ago with some of the

issues that are in the book the

intensity and doing things like this

talking about it on television I

understand that completely you do

because yes your weight in a sense has

been an issue on the show ya know we've

talked a bit not a law you know so

there's a pressure there and we spoke

earlier about I was being rewarded with

in the industry for looking a certain

way but to get that way I had to do so

which led to you know mental health

issues guys I mean if you just never you

know what you know what necessarily

taught me deeds in your book you never

know what's going on in other people's

lives

yeah you're really don't you've getting

no idea don't assume and I think when I

eventually I left the first series of

the a word and went straight to hospital

because they had a severe clinical

depression and I think that I've lost my

thread here but I think that has has

taught me to not assume know exactly but

not George I would never have known I

mean I love Thea 

It's coming back isn't

it you've just don't know it is in the

in the new year the third series yeah

and I loved your character dinner though

sometimes I want to become most women in

its life I know and it's such a good

series so well written in so so so later

but no idea that you were going through

all of that just no idea what was

interesting on the first series it

really started to manifest itself for

the first series that the the breakdown

yeah and what I noticed was when I was

on set and I put on Morris's costume and

all this sounds silly or moles but when

I put on Morris's costume I could do my

job

but then when I go back to the hotel

room at night that's when the insomnia

and the anxiety went through the roof

and I'd get through the night on little

sleep and it's that thing of the

importance of a job to people yeah my

job kept me going

so when you were him it's actually all

rain

pretending to be somebody else I mean

it's the the big acting cliche no

absolutely you talks about very movingly

about your dad and about how he had to

deal without same reason how everybody

else joined about him had to do with

that and the fact that your mom really

took heed off and the love between the

two of them yeah my mom cared my mom

cared for my dad for 12 years and she

always said the worst day of her life

was not when my dad died but when she

says when I had to put him in the home

but me and my brothers had to persuade

her to do that because the burden on

burden of care on carers they're

invisible really they saved this country

millions of pounds need you they get no

credit and so yeah mom cared for him for

for at least 12 years through the

variant stages and how do you know how

would you see you oh no if you had to

give yourself a heal to change yeah well

I did have a wobble couple of weeks ago

definitely the pressure of it and the

exposure of talking in this way I know

anyway about anybody but have I done

monetized my personal life and how's it

affected my mom and dad but I think

because I'm a parent mmm I

they Albert and Esme keep me very

focused and that's what happened to me

in the hospital that the consultant just

in Haslam said to me you know if if you

were to take your own life think of the

legacy that would create for your

children and that woke me up as did him

telling me explaining to me my brain

chemistry in the way that a surgeon

would explain somebody's broke yeah yeah

yeah he said you've been in fight off

like mold your brain is exhausted and he

actually he took the curse of it in the

taboo off mental health issues that's

one of the subjects of the book no it's

incredible it's just to take the taboo

or what exactly

you