Beauty

Abashed The Devil stood,

And felt how awful Goodness is…

"....and Beauty is just absolutely 

Terrifying to People -- because 

Beauty highlights What's Ugly."

Even though You have been raised 

as a Human Being, 

You are Not One of Them.

They can be A Great People, Kal-El,

They Wish to Be --

They only lack The Light to 

Show The Way

For This Reason,

Above All Others --

Their Capacity for Good...

I Have Sent Them You --

My Only Son.

“At nineteen when I first saw the already-dead Bill Hicks 

I felt A Bodily Transference — 

I felt Empowered and 

Inspired by him. 

‘Inspired’ – 

He put BREATH into Me…

And Breath is Life. 

It is curious to me that in early life My Mentors were remote — Famous or Dead or both.”

Mentors

Russell Brand

Jordan Peterson on Why Beauty Is Terrifying | w/ Theo Von

"....and Beauty is just absolutely 

Terrifying to People -- because 

Beauty highlights What's Ugly."

See, it has taken me a long time

 to finally figure out, now 

(at an intellectual level)

quite WHY it has never bothered me 

that The Lady Ghostbusters hire a 

Regulation Standard-Hottie, 

HimBo Stud-Muffin

(Kevin, God of Sandwiches)

to Answer Their Phone for them

and Run The Office for them 

that they do not have --

Abashed The Devil stood,

And felt how awful Goodness is, 

and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely; 

saw, and pined His loss.

THE PURE UNIVERSE

 

THE PURE UNIVERSE 

(śuddhādhvan) 

The so-called Pure Universe comprising the top five tattvas is Not A Place; it is the divine Reality that pervades the whole of the manifest universe. 

The top five tattvas are essentially a description of God/dess. 

 

Though divided into five levels, they are all aspects of The Divine and are referred to as phases of God’s awareness. 


The differences between them are differences of perspective and emphasis. 

To reach any of the five tattvas of the Pure Universe is to attain complete liberation and awakening. 

 

TATTVA #5: PURE MANTRA-WISDOM
(Śuddha-vidyā)

 

The level of Pure Wisdom is also the level of mantra (besides meaning “wisdom,” vidyā is also the feminine word for “mantra”). 

The wisdom spoken of here is not any type of intellectual knowledge but rather the various phases of Śiva-Śakti’s self-awareness expressed in the form of the seventy million mantras— all the mantras that have ever existed or will ever exist. 

For the Tantrik tradition, mantras are actually conscious beings, analogous to angels in the Western religions. 

Someone who attains liberation on the level of tattva #5 becomes a mantra-being. 

We know that this doctrine, that mantras are conscious, was taken seriously because the texts tell us that if A Guru grants initiation into The Tantra to someone who subsequently falls from The Path, then that guru must perform a special ritual to apologise to The Mantras for putting them to work needlessly. 

It is absolutely crucial to understand that in this tradition A Mantra, its Deity, and its Goal are all one and the same.

Thus, for example, Lakṣmī’s mantra OṂ ŚRĪṂ MAHĀLAKṢMYAI NAMAḤ is the Goddess Lakṣmī in sound form; it is her sonic body.

Nor is her mantra something separate from the goal for which it is repeated, i.e., to cultivate abundance, for it is the very vibration of abundance (and, as well, the other qualities of Śrī: elegance, charm, grace, beauty, prosperity, and auspiciousness). 

So, all the various “deities” of Indian spirituality exist on the level of the Śuddha-vidyā tattva as phases of Śiva-Śakti’s awareness, the many facets, if you will, of the One jewel. 

Further, there are countless mantra-beings on the Śuddha-vidyā level that do not correspond to known Indian deities; perhaps we can suppose that the deities of all spiritual traditions exist on this level, insofar as they can be understood as having sonic forms. 

One who reaches liberation on this level sees the entire universe as a diverse array of energies, but with a single essence. 

She sees no static matter, experiencing everything as interacting patterns of vibration. 

The wonder of that which she sees takes precedence over her I-sense, though there is unity between them: “I am this!” (idam evāham). 

The divine Power that corresponds to this level is kriyā-śakti, the Power of Action. 

This is so because the primary characteristic of mantras is that they are agents of transformative change, i.e., of action. 

TATTVA #4: THE LORD (Īśvara) 

This is the level of the personal God, God as a being with specific qualities, that is, the Deity that can be named in various languages (whether the name be Kriṣhṇa, Allāh, Avalokiteśvara, YHWH, etc.) 

This is the level of reality that most monotheistic religions presume to be the highest. Īśvara is a generic, nonsectarian term for God (also found in Patañjali’s Yoga-sūtra). 

This level is associated with jñāna-śakti, The Power of Knowing, for Īśvara holds within His being the knowledge of the subtle pattern that will be used in the creation of the universe. He empowers His regents on tattva #5 (who are really aspects of Himself) to stimulate the primordial homogenous world-source (Māyā, tattva #6) with this pattern, “churning” her so that she begins to produce the differentiation of the lower tattvas, starting with the contractions called the kañcukas (#7 and below, see “the five shells”). 

At the level of Īśvara there is a balanced equality and identity between God and His incipient creation. The Sanskrit phrase said to express the experience of reality at this level is aham idam idam aham, or “I am This; This am I.”


There is a fascinating and purely “coincidental” parallel here with the self-declaration of the God of the Hebrew Bible, who when asked for His Name (at Exodus 3:14), replied simply, ehyeh Asher ehyeh, “I am That I am.” 

In Śaiva Tantra, it is not only God who exists at this level; so do any beings who have reached that same awareness. 

Thus the difference between Īśvara and other beings abiding at tattva #4 is one of office, not of nature. 

 

TATTVA #3: THE EVER-BENEVOLENT ONE (Sadāśiva) 

The word “God” is no longer applicable here, for this level transcends any form of a Deity with identifiable names or attributes. 

This is the level on which only the slightest subtle differentiation has just begun to emerge between the absolute Deity and the idea of the universe, the universe that S/he will create out of Him/Herself. 

Thus, it is the level of icchā-śakti, the divine Will Power, the creative urge or primal impulse toward Self-expression. 

The Sanskrit phrase said to express the experience of reality at this level is aham idam, “I am this,” or “This incipient totality is my own Self,” where there is identity between the Divine and the embryonic universe held within it. 

The sense of “I” has clear priority, wholly enveloping the “this”; so all beings who attain unity-consciousness with emphasis on the “I” pole abide at this level. 

The Sadāśiva-tattva is the first movement into differentiation, for at the level of tattvas #1 and 2, there is absolute nonduality. Abhinava Gupta tells us that the Divine at this level is called Sadāśiva, “eternally Śiva,” to remind us that even as a universe begins to come into being through the power of the Will, the Absolute loses none of its divinity, it is “still Śiva,” which of course also means “still blessed.”

Historically, Sadāśiva is also the name of the high deity of one form of Śaiva Tantra, a form that was later surpassed by the worship of the conjoined and co-equal pair of Śiva-Śakti. 

He is also pictured as the form of Śiva that sprouts the five faces that speak the five streams of sacred scripture. 

Thus Sadāśiva is sometimes considered the first ray of divine compassion. 

TATTVA #2: POWER / THE GODDESS (Śakti)

In the traditional tattva hierarchy, Śakti is #2, but in the nondual schools, care is taken to emphasize that Śiva and Śakti switch places, for they are two sides of the same coin. 

That is, neither Śiva nor Śakti has priority—it is a matter of which aspect is dominant in any given experience. 

The word śakti literally means “power, potency, energy, capacity, capability.” 

In NŚT, all powers are worshipped as goddesses, or rather as forms of the Goddess (Mahādevī). 

Śakti can no more be separated from Śiva than heat can be separated from fire. 

All forms of energy are Śakti, and since matter is energy (as the Tāntrikas well knew), the whole manifest universe is seen as the body of the Goddess, and the movements of all forms of energy are Her dance. 

The various aspects of Śakti are covered in detail above. 

The term śakti is often used to specifically denote spiritual energy, or God’s transformative power. 

In the scriptures, this meaning is often conveyed with the special term rudra-śakti, which refers to the primal, awe-inspiring divine Power that flows through us in spiritual experience. 

An infusion of this divine Power is called rudra-śakti-samāveśa, where samāveśa refers to the spiritual experience comprising an expansion of consciousness, a dissolution of the boundaries between self and other, a sharing of self-hood with God and/or with the whole universe, and often an blissful influx of energy. 

 

TATTVA #1: THE BENEVOLENT ONE (Śiva)

In the context of NŚT, Śiva is not the name of a god. 

 

Rather, the word is understood to signify the peaceful, quiescent ground of all Reality, the infinite silence of transcendent Divinity, or, in the poet’s phrase, the “still point at the center of the turning world.” 

 

While Śakti is extroversive, immanent, manifest, omniform, and dynamic, Śiva is introversive, transcendent, unmanifest, formless, and still. Śiva is the absolute void of pure Consciousness. 

(To be more accurate, Consciousness is never absolutely still, so on the level of the Śiva-tattva, there is what Abhinava calls kiṃcit-calana, an extraordinarily subtle movement, an imperceptible and exquisitely sweet undulation.) 

 

The word śiva is traditionally interpreted as “that in which all things lie (śī).” 

 

Thus Śiva is the ground of being, that which gives reality its coherence. 

His nature is beyond any qualities and is, therefore, difficult to express in words, but in Essence of the Tantras, Śiva is described as the coherence and unification of all the various śaktis. 

 

Thus, He is called śaktimān, the one who holds the Powers, or rather “holds space” for their unfolding. 

 

However, since Śiva is literally nothing without the Powers of Consciousness, Bliss, Will, and so on, it is usually Śakti who is worshipped as the highest principle in NŚT. 

 

Śiva is that which grounds and coheres the various powers; He is the Lord of the Family (kuleśvara), the center axis of the spinning wheel of Powers. 

 

As the coherent force, Śiva hardly has an insignificant function, but as he is not an embodiment of potency himself, he is less likely to attract worship in a spiritual system that is focused primarily on the empowerment of its adherents. 

 

The previous paragraph defined Śiva primarily as spaciousness, the hosting space for the energy that is Śakti. 

 

 

This space/energy polarity is the one given in a Trika text called Vijñāna-bhairava, among other sources. 

We should note that in other contexts, the roles are defined differently. 

 

For example, the influential Recognition school (a subset of the Trika) defines Śiva-Śakti as the two complementary aspects of one divine Consciousness: Śiva is the Light of Manifestation (prakāśa), also known as the Light of Consciousness (cit-prakāśa), and Śakti is blissful Self-reflective awareness (vimarśa). 

 

This pairing is sometimes concisely abbreviated as cid-ānanda (Awareness-Bliss). 

In this way of understanding Śiva-Śakti, He is the illuminative power of Consciousness that manifests and shines as all things, and She is the power by which that same Consciousness folds back on itself and becomes self-aware and thus can enjoy itself. 

 

While new students of the Tantra often want a simple, cut-and-dried definition of the polarity of Śiva-Śakti, the tradition does not offer one. 

Indeed, as this paragraph has shown, we get different definitions within the very same school. 

These need not be seen as contradictory, however, for the ultimate reality of Śiva-Śakti transcends all thought; the diverse explanations are just varying orientations or angles of approach to that one 

Reality, serving different students in different contexts. 

In another schema, that of the radical Krama school, Śiva disappears entirely, for there the two aspects of the One are represented as different facets of one Goddess: the indescribable Void of absolute potential, the formless ground of all reality (Śiva’s usual role) is represented as the dark and emaciated, terrifyingly attractive Goddess Kālī, who devours all things and makes them one with Herself; and the infinite Light that encompasses all things and beings with loving compassion and insight is represented as white and full-bodied Goddess Parā, overflowing with boundless nectar. 

But, Abhinava Gupta stresses, these apparent opposites (black and white, empty and full) are simply the two forms of the one great Goddess. 

The Krama school simply wishes to avoid the inevitably dualistic implications of the image of Śiva-Śakti as two beings joined together. 

How to reconcile these different presentations? 

The answer is simple: they need no reconciliation, for they are each perfectly fitted to the system in which they occur; and the absolute Reality beyond words can be represented by any of these schemas or by none. 

It is important to note that the term Śiva or “God” never loses its importance in this tradition. 

Some might construe the more refined philosophies of NŚT as atheistic because they wholly repudiate the notion of God as a separate person, “a guy in the sky,” or indeed as anything separate from your essence-nature as dynamic free Awareness. 

Yet it is significant that these very traditions continue to use the term “God” and its synonyms (such as maheśvara, “the Great Lord,” and parameśvara, “the Supreme Divinity”). 

It seems to me that they do not want to dispense with the love and devotion that is inspired in so many by this personalizing of the Absolute. 

They want a path of intimate relationship. 

At the same time, remember that the tradition gives us a beautiful nondual definition of the word “God,” one worth repeating: 

...in actuality it is the unbounded Light of Consciousness, reposing in its innate Bliss, fully connected to its Powers of Willing, Knowing, and Acting, that we call God. (Essence of the Tantras) 

It is in the context of this definition that we may understand such scriptural statements as “Nothing exists that is not God.”

 

But here we are anticipating the next segment: for “beyond” even tattva #1 is that which unfolds all the tattvas, from 1 to 36, within itself as the expression of its blissful self-awareness.

The Vault

The Artist Wastes Nothing.

 

Da Vinci held that no Work of Art is ever finished --  

only ever abandoned. 

 

Usually, customarily and ultimately by The Death of The Artist, or rather more properly, The Artist's death.

 

 

" He's like --

"I want you to shoot People's Reaction to he Album. 

Let them Listen to it and you have them Talk about it. 

And then I want to talk about Religion and lead that into Race and lead it into The Music Biz and radio. 

And at The End of The Week, 

I want to Change The World." 

I'm like, 

"I'm in the middle of making 

a dick-and-fart-joke movie —

I'm not prepared to change 

my underwear, let 

alone The World. 

I don't think I can... 

I don't... 

I don't... 

All right." 

Just real quick. You haven't touched on it and I don't know how many people know about it. 

In the middle of June, you were up in Minneapolis filming a documentary for Prince that as far as I've heard is never gonna see the light of day. 

Can you shed a little light on that?  

We were trying to get a Prince song for Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back where Shannon Elizabeth's character comes into the restaurant the song "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World," but we got no response. 

Then one day I got a call at the office. 

They said, "Prince's office called. He wants to speak to you." "Holy shit! Fucking Pr... His Royal Badness?" 

 'Cause I'm a Prince fan. 

So I said, "I'm gonna call him back." 

So I call him up and they answer, and they're like: "Prince isn't available right now, but he does want to speak to you so sit by the phone and we'll call you back." 

So I'm like, "All right." Ring. 

And I wait and wait and wait. About minutes later somebody calls. And they're like, "Is Kevin there?" 

"This is he." 

"Kevin, hi. I'm calling from Prince's office. He'll call you in minutes." 

I said, "Awesome. All right, bye." 

15 minutes later, phone rings. "Is Kevin there? This is Trevor in Prince's office. Prince will be calling you in minutes." 

And I said, "This is genius." 

Because it sounds like they have shit well-scheduled, 5 minutes but then again, this is the third time he called. 

So I said, "Hey, man, just a question. When I talk to the guy can I...? Do you call him Prince? Do I call him Artist? You know, what do you call him? Jack?" 

And he said, "He's back to Prince. Call him Prince." 

 I sit around, I get another phone call: 

"Prince wants to call you tonight at home. Can we have that number?" 

I give it to him. 

I go home and I'm like: "Prince is calling! Everybody get away from the phone!"  

The kid wants to play l'm like, "Go away, Prince is calling!" 

So I wait and the phone rings and I get Trevor again: "Prince is gonna be calling in five minutes." 

"I am so ready for this call." 

Phone rings again and I hear his fucking voice. He's just like, "Kevin?" 

And I said, "Prince?" 

 Because that's his name. 

And he said, "How you doing?" I said, "I'm excellent. How are you?" 

He said, "Very good." "I just want to tell you I'm a huge fan." 

 He goes, "Likewise." "Really?" "Oh, yeah. Particularly Dogma. " He's like, "Would you like to do something together?" "Yeah, what do you want to do?" 

I'm thinking he wants to do a musical. 

But it's not the musical that he wants to do, necessarily. He starts talking about Dogma: "I really enjoyed Dogma I thought it was incredible. I thought the message was great." 

He went on at great lengths about it. 

I'm listening to him and it's starting not to sound like the movie I made. A little bit. 

He's got the character names down but there's things he's talking about that I'm like: "I didn't say that in the movie, did I?" 

Like, "Hold on." I'm going to rewind the movie. 

He starts talking more and more about spirituality, religion, faith. It becomes very apparent over the course of a half-hour Prince is way into Jesus. 

Like, really into Jesus. 

He's always had one foot in the corporeal, one foot in the spiritual. 

He sings about "Darling Nikki," but he also sings about God. But it felt like the pendulum swung far away from nookie right into the Son of God. 

And I... You know, I'm thinking I can talk smack to this dude but he doesn't want to hear from language. At one point he says: "I'll put you an example." 

He's sitting there ministering to me at a certain point. 

But I'm not going to say anything 'cause it's Prince. 

 

So he's like, "I'll give you an example - 

You Make Movies with Cursing in them." 

 I said, 

"Yeah." 

*GRINS*

And he said, 

"Can you Make a Movie without Cursing in it?" 

 I said,  

"Yeah, I guess..... But Why Bother?" 

And he said,  

"Do you understand that Cursing offends Some People? 

Vulgarity offends People." 

I said, "Yeah. :) " 


And he goes, 

"Do you mean to offend People?" 

I said, 

"No, no." 

And he's like, 

"But you still do it anyway?" 

"Yeah." 

He's going, 

"Okay, we're gonna put you over here --" 

I was like, 

"Where?" 

And I, you know, I can't see him, but I think he went like this : --


And I really want to know what over here is, but he doesn't explain. 

He gets very cryptic like that. 

He's like, 

"Kevin, if A Big Snake gives birth to a Little Snake, 

What is That Little Snake gonna grow up To Be?" 

"A Big...  Snake?" 

He's like, 

"Right. That Snake gives birth to A Snake. 

What's that gonna grow To Be?" 

And I said, "Big Snake." 

He said, "Exactly, You Gotta Know Who Your Father is." 

And I'm like... 

I don't know what that fucking means. 

So I'm like, 

"I hear you. I hear you."

 

He's like, 

"So you wanna Do This?" 

I'm like,  

"Yeah, What are We Doing?" 

He said, "I have this thing called 'the Celebration' where I'm gonna debut my new album for a bunch of fans. They come to Paisley Park, we have an event. Then we're gonna have parties where people hear the album. I want to make a movie that we can bring to the Cannes Film Festival." 

I said, "Really?" 

He said, "Yeah." "Like a concert film?" 

I'm saying. He's like, "Kind of but I want to do bold things. I want to put up the words: 'Jesus Christ is the Son Of God, ' and let them deal with it." 

And I'm like, "Well, I already made that movie, kind of." 

But I didn't say that because it's Prince. 

I said, "That's fucking bold!"

 He said, "What did I say about cursing?" 

I said, "I got you." 

He said, "You free to come do this?" 

I said, "Yeah, absolutely." 

He said, "I'll let you know when we're doing it." 

I was like, "Shit, that's fucking great!" I go and tell everyone. Mosier goes, 

"Did you ask about the song for the movie?" 

And I was like, "No, fuck, I forgot!" 

I was like, "Should I just call him again? Aren't we kind of friends at this point?" 

He says, "Find out if we can use the song." 

I call him the next day and I was like, "Hey, Prince, it's Kevin. Listen, we talked a lot and I look forward to this thing we're gonna do but we're making Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and it has the dudes who were in Dogma, remember? I needed to use 'The Most Beautiful Girl in the World. ' I want to put it in this one scene." 

And he goes, "No." 

I said, "No?" 

He said, "I'm gonna have to pass on that." 

He's like, "You can use The Time song," which he owns the publishing for. 

And I said, "All right. Bye." 

You know? 

I was like, "That's so fucking weird." 

The dude said, "Come shoot a documentary for me." 

Then I'm like, "Can I have one of your songs?" He's like, "No." 

I thought people gave each other things. 

But I don't say anything because it's Prince. 

So it's time to go up there and I'm in the midst of editing the movie we're getting to crunch time. 

Many things are going on the last thing in the world I should do is go to Minnesota. 

But I'm like, "Fuck it. Once in a lifetime chance. It's fucking Prince, I gotta go." 

I grab the wife jump on the plane. 

We go to Minnesota. 

I get out there and I meet with his producer, this great woman named Stephanie. 

And Stephanie's like, "He's on-stage talking to a bunch of people. He'll tell you what he wants." 

I go in and he's sitting on the stage and he's very small. He looks big on-stage, but he's very small. 

But he's decked out. 

He's wearing clothes that look like somebody just sewed them. 

Like an outfit, like he's in a play, doing Shakespeare. 

Not like nice clothes like this. 

And he's in heels, of course. 

I'm like, "He's in heels. It's casual time and he's in heels." 

I always thought, around the house, he's wearing kicks. 

So we start Talking, and --

He tells me about his beefs with The Music Industry. 

And you can't follow What He's Saying, he's jumping topic to topic. 

And I'm like, 

"Uh-huh. I don't know what he's saying. What?" 

And he's talking, at one point, 

"Anybody can take a song and record it." 

I was like, 

"Really?" 

He's like, 

"It happened to Chaka Khan." 

He's like, 

"Whitney Houston recorded, 'I'm Every Woman. ' 

Chaka didn't want that, Chaka mad." 

I'm like, 

"Chaka mad?" 

He's like, 

"Chaka real mad." 

I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do about Chaka being mad. 

He's like, "I want you to shoot people's reaction to the album. Let them listen to it and you have them talk about it. And then I want to talk about religion and lead that into race and lead it into the music biz and radio. 

And at the end of the week, I want to change The World." 

I'm like, "I'm in the middle of making a dick-and-fart-joke movie. I'm not prepared to change my underwear, let alone the world. I don't think I can... I don't... I don't... 

All right." 

He's like,  

"All right, I'll see you tomorrow." 

And he takes off. 

 

I look at Stephanie, I was like,  

"Can we go outside?" 

I was like, "I can't do this! I don't know what he wants! I can't change The World. I'm not a documentarian. Did you see the movies I make? I don't make documentaries. Documentaries are made by people who come up with the idea and see it through, shoot it themselves and interview people because it's something personal to them. He's very personal and passionate about these issues and I'm not -- Chaka mad, I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do about that." 

She's like, "Calm down." 

And she's like, "What can you do?" 

I said, "If Prince wants a movie about a couple guys hanging around a mall like, I'm your guy, but I can't make a documentary." 

She's like, "Okay, But he really wants you to do it." 

And I was like, 

"I don't understand. I'm not cut out for this kind of thing. Can you explain it to him? Just go in there and tell him. I'll go back to Los Angeles and tell him no harm, no foul." 

She's like,  

"Kevin, let me explain something to you about Prince --

I've been working for Prince for many years now,

and I cannot go tell him that you can't shoot this documentary." 

She's like,  

"Prince doesn't Comprehend Things The Way You and I do." 

I was like,  

"What do you mean?" 

She was like,  

"Well, Prince has been living in PrinceWorld for quite some time now." 

She's like,  

"So, Prince will come to us, periodically, and Say Things like: 

'It's 3 in the morning in Minnesota. 

I really need a camel. 

Go Get It. ' 

And then we have to try to explain to Prince, like: 

 

"Prince, it's 3 in The Morning in Minnesota, 

It's January and YOU Want a Camel. 

That is not physically or psychologically possible."

And Prince says, 

'Why?"

I'm like, 

"Is he an asshole?" 

She's like,  

"No, he's not malicious when he does it, 

He just doesn't understand why he can't get what he wants. 

He doesn't understand why someone can't process a simple request like a camel at 3 in the morning in Minnesota." 

 I was like, 

"That's not My Problem. 

I can't do What He Wants. 

I don't know what to do." 

She said, 

"Okay, but you'd be doing me a HUGE favor if you Tell Him That." 

I was like, 

"All right, I'll Tell him. 

Somebody's gotta just deal with him straight. 

He'll understand." 

So I go in there and he's on-stage and then he comes back down. 

He's like, 

"What's the matter?" 

I was like, 

" ....How do you want to shoot this?" 

He's like, 

"Whatever you want." 

I said, 

"I don't know if I can shoot this thing. 

Since it's a documentary, it should come from you. 

I'd be kind of a third wheel. 

It's, like, you've got the crew and you have the idea and I'd basically be there, what, to do what? 

There's nothing for me to do." 

He said, 

"I need you to be my representation. 

You have to Go and Communicate My Message." 

I said, 

"If you want me to communicate  

'Let's Go Crazy, Let's Get Nuts -- 

 Like, 

Let's Slip on The Purple Banana 

'til They put Us in The Truck -- 

I can Do That - I've listened to that album a lot. 

If You Want Me to start Talking about Jesus, I did that. 

And I got a lotta Death Threats. 

So I'm not too keen to go in there and do it." 

He's like, 

"You'll Do a Great Job." 

Walks away. 

I'm like, 

"Oh, my God -- *I* Don't Know How to Make a fucking documentary...!?!" 

So I go in the next day, and we're shooting in the atrium. 

Everybody sits down and shit. 

They're listening to albums in other rooms in Paisley Park. 

They bring them into the atrium with the high ceilings, and there's a cage with doves in it. 

You're sitting there listening to what it sounds like when fucking doves cry. 

'Cause they won't shut up. 

People are coming in, and I'm standing there with two guys with cameras and their Nagra equipment. And I'd say about 30 % of them, as they walk in, are like: "It's Silent Bob." 

I was the last person they expected to see. 

Like, "What the fuck is Silent Bob doing here? Is he a fan? What's with the cameras? What's going on?" 

I'm like, "I don't even know what's going on!" 

So I'm like, "We'll talk about what you've just heard." I don't introduce myself. 

I said, "We'll talk about what you just listened to and see where the topic takes us." 

We start talking. 

Everybody wants to talk about religion, the album's theme. 

It's kind of one story throughout the whole album. Heavily steeped in faith and spirituality. 

So people start getting up in arms. 

Some people said, "It's his best work. It's the promise he showed on Lovesexy. 

It's the next level for Prince. I love all the three to four minute hits, but this is tremendous." 

Other people were going, "We know Prince is a Jehovah's Witness." 

I'm sitting there going, "Prince is a Jehovah's Witness? Since when? Now? Because he didn't try to sell me a Watchtower once." 

So he's going, "I printed up a bunch of facts about Jehovah's Witness that Prince should read. It's important stuff. 

He should know that he's being bilked." 

I'm like, "What else is everyone thinking?" 

I'm trying to lead the discussion, but everyone wants to talk about religion. 

Some are incensed because it's a literal translation of the Bible which means that the order of things is God, man, women, children, animals. 

Some women were like, "I don't go in for this man, woman shit. I don't want to be led by any man." 

I'm trying to control the fires. 

Somebody comes up behind me and says whispers in my ear, "Prince wants you to stop talking about religion." 

I'm like, "What do you mean Prince wants me to stop talking about religion? That's what they want. Where is he?" 

They're like, "He's not here." 

I said, "How does he know I'm talking about religion?" 

She's like, "He'd just... He'd prefer if you stop. He knows." 

I said, "How am I supposed to change topic? 

Be like, 'Hey, who likes pie? ' you know, instead of... They listened to an album about religion. What can I tell you? If he wants it to not be about... If he wants it to be something else, he should get his ass here." 

She said, 

"I just told you." 


So people are talking, I'm looking around while they're speaking. 

There's a sign in the atrium that says: 
 "The atrium: redone in ... " 

Then there's a piece of factoid about the atrium that says: "Like every room in the building, this room is wired for sound so Prince can record anywhere he likes." 

Which means that if Prince is sitting in the shitter and he wants to write "Raspberry Beret" he can do it and record it while taking a shit without leaving the room. 

Every room is wired for sound. 

I'm reading that going, "Now, that's interesting..." 

No wonder the motherfucker heard me. Every room is wired for sound. 

I'm like, 

"God, did he hear me say 'He should get his ass here'?" 

And he might have, because I'm talking to the person talking and I see Prince materialize. 

Not, out of thin air, but suddenly, he's there. 

I'm like, 

"Holy shit, he's coming to yell at me in front of these people." 

So I made him part of it. 

"What do you think, Sir?" 

Everyone's like, 
"It's Prince!" 

He comes and sits down. 

He's listening to the group and letting me lead it. 

Then he starts joining in. 

If you know Prince, he's Solitary. 

He likes to stay apart from people. 

But he starts joining in, gets real into it. 

And I start hanging back. I go in the back and watch it. 

So I'm appreciating Prince talking to these people about spirituality and then about how radio sucks nowadays. 

Nobody owns the air over his head so why can't they play shit he wants? He's going everywhere. 

And I'm like, "This is brilliant. I'd watch this. I'd watch this documentary about how a man falls apart in front of a crowd." 

But I don't think that's the documentary he has in mind. 

The next day, same thing. 

We're talking and he shows up. I bring him in. 

He takes over. He's in his element. 

He's happy. He's just sitting there, a robe short of being a minister preaching, playing games with the crowd. 

Games where people go to the other side of the room like kindergarten. 

He says, "Those who believe Jesus is the son of God over to this side of the room. Those who don't, go over there. We rule our lives by this." 

He pulls a Bible from his back pocket. 

I'm like, "I didn't even know he had a back pocket." 

The outfits he wears don't really lend to pockets. But not only that, he's got a Bible in it. 


I'm like, "This is fucked up." 

He says, "We'll lead our lives by this. Over there, you live by what you do. You have no laws. We have laws. We want your women. 

So we'll take them. There's nothing you can do. Women, come here. Because you don't lead your lives by this." 

I'm going, "Is THAT what it says in the Bible?!?" 

Because if it is, I'm going back to church. He's going through these parlor games and he's real happy. I was pleased to get to see a part of him that I'd never seen before in everything from interviews to any press. 

So the next day, he's like, 

"I'm not gonna be able to do it. I've got a show to do at the St. Paul Excel Arena. I'm gonna do a night show and my leg hurts, so I won't do the q and a." 

I said, "Why does your leg hurt?" 

He said, "Something with my knee." 

And I was like, "Do you think it's because you always wear heels?" 

He said, "What?" 

I said, 

"Maybe your knee wouldn't hurt if you wore sneakers." 

He goes, "It's not about sneakers." 

I said, "All right, man, I was just checking. We need you, Prince." 

I go out and Stephanie said, "You mentioned sneakers to him?" 

I said, "Yeah, was that bad?" She said, "Yeah!" 

I said, "Does he wear them?" 

She said, "He does. What's the interest with Prince's sneakers?" 

I said, "Does he wear them?" 

She said, "He wears them for basketball." 

I said, "He plays ball in sneakers? Where does he keep them?" 

She's like, "Let it go." 

I said, "Does he wear the outfits playing basketball?" 

Because every outfit looks like he's about to be: "Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio." You know? 

She said, "No, he wears warm-up suits." 

I said, "He's got warm-up suits?" 

She says, "Yes, he's got warm-up pants with the buttons down the side." 

I was like, "Where does he keep it? Does he wear it under his clothes?" 

She says, "He's got them to the side." 

I said, "Well, are they made like his outfits? Designer basketball wear?" 

She says, "No, they're from a store." 

I said, "He shops at a fucking store?" She says, "No, we go out and get stuff for him." 

I said, "Where do you get his clothes?" 

She says, "Nordstrom's." 

I said, "They sell stuff his size?" 

She's like, "Nordstrom's boys department." And at this point, I'm like, "That is so fucking cute!" 

The documentary should be about that. I'd watch it. 

Prince is like, "All right, I'm little. I'm a huge rock god but I'm little. I get my clothes at Nordstrom's boys department." 

But that's not the documentary he wants to make. 

So he skips that day. 

The next day he's supposed to come. 

We're having one of the last sessions. 

We crammed people in this room. It's really hot, really tight, lights boiling. 

Everyone's sweating. We're going on for about three hours. 

One guy says, "This album's about how Prince hates white people." 

I said, "Really? I didn't get that at all. What makes you say that?" 

He says, "He's singing about how the devil stole it." 

I said, "No, he's not talking about the 'white devil, ' but this devil. I don't think it's a race thing. Really? Race? Do you think so?" 

And I can't defend it because I don't fucking know. 

Finally, they're like, "Prince wants to talk to you in his office." 

I'm like, "Break, everyone grab some air. I'll talk to Prince." 

I'm pissed now. I'm sweating, fielding questions from a very defensive crowd. 

The dude was supposed to be here 3 hours ago. 

So I go into his office and he's sitting behind his desk playing with a computer. I sit there for a good 20 to 30 seconds. He says nothing. 

Then he says, "These are pictures from the show last night." 

I said, "That's great. We needed you about two hours ago. Things got tense." 

He says, "Really?" 

"Some dude said you hate white people." He said, "Why did he say that?" 

I said, "In the album, you talk about how the devil stole the music. He said you meant the 'white devil. ' I said you meant this." 

He said, "He said white people stole music from black people?" 

I said, "That was his argument." 

He goes, "If the bra fits." 

And I'm like, "What the fuck does that mean, man?! If the bra fucking fits? I'm sweating for hours fielding questions defending your Jehovah's Witnessism even though I know nothing about it. Don't talk to me like I'm fucking Apollonia! You want me to jump into the fucking waters of Lake Minnetonka!" 

I'm fucking at wit's end with this man. 

This is what it sounds like when Kev's fucking pissed. You know? 

I'm like, "Go explain that's not what you meant." He's like, "People are gonna take what they will from it." 

I said, "These people have been here for hours. They expect you." 

He's like, "I'll talk to them. You want to shoot it?" 

I said, "Okay, and I want to leave early because today is Father's Day." 

My wife was there all week. 

Her parents brought Harley so we could spend Father's Day together. 

He said, "Okay." 

I'm like, "Ladies and gentlemen: Prince." 

He sits down, starts talking and we start shooting. 

And he starts talking and proceeds to talk for four hours. 

He's getting into his parlor games and having a great time. 

The guys are like, "Are we still shooting?" 

I'm like, "Keep shooting. Something might happen. Maybe somebody will get as pissed as I am and take the guy out." 

After the four hours one of the guy comes over to me. He's like, 

"We're out." 

I'm like, "We ain't out till he says we're out." He said, 

"No, we're out of stock." 

I said, "Change the tape." He's like, 

"We've blown through our entire stock. It's Sunday. There's no more stock." I said, "What about the other camera?" He's like, "He's got three minutes." 

I was like, "Shit, we're out of tape? Do we tell him? Or do we just pretend like we're shooting him?" He's like, "It's your call." I'm like, "Just keep rolling. Just make pretend, go ahead." 

They run out of tape. 

Prince goes on for an hour, not even being recorded. He looks over to me periodically and I'm like: So it ends and everyone gets up to go and this is the last session. 

The week is over. 

And he kind of goes out a back door and shit so he can avoid autographs. 

And I collect my stuff and Stephanie who was my chaperone, wasn't even there anymore. 

And I said to her before she left, I was like: "This is the last day. What are we gonna do? Am I cutting this thing?" 

She's like, "They've been cutting it. 

He used some of the footage at his show last night." 

I'm like, "Really?" 

I feel so useless. 

I'm trying to maintain my composure and stuff's being already cut? 

I said, "So you'll have a cut of the film next week." 

She said, "Don't count on seeing it." 

I said, "Why?" She said, "A lot of this stuff never sees the light of day." 

I was like, "What do you mean?" 

She's like, "I produced music videos for him." 

I said, "Which ones?" 

She said, "You've never seen them. They're for Songs You've Never Heard." 

I said, "Where are They?" 

She's like, "He puts them in A Vault." 

 

I was like, "For What?" 

And she's like, "I don't know." 

I was like, "Is it just him on-stage?" 

She's like, "No, fully-produced music videos with costumes and sets. Money was spent." 

I was like, "And they've never been seen on MTV or anything? BET, VH1 ?" 

She's like, "No. He just puts them in The Vault." 

I was like, "Like in case the fucking world goes up we'll have entertainment?" 

She's like, "That's just the way Prince is." 

I'm like, "After all this work, nobody may ever see it?" 

She's like, "I don't know." 

 

I'm like, "Good Lord." So day's over, I say goodbye to this other girl, and she's like: "Do you want to say goodbye to Prince?" 

 

I'm like, "He's busy, I won't bother him." 

The Wife said, "You should say goodbye." 

I said, "You think so?" 

She's like, "He'd probably want to say goodbye." 

I was like, "You're right." 

So I go back in and I'm like, 

"You know what? I should say goodbye to Prince." 

She's like, "I'll find him." 

She goes away and then comes back, and she's like: 

"He's in there working on some music." 

And I was like, "And?" 

 

She was like, "He's working on some music." 

 

I was like, "So I should go?" 

 

And she's like, "Yeah." 

And I was like, "All right, tell him I said goodbye, I guess." 

I walk to the car and I'm like, "I can't fucking believe it. I spent a week shooting a documentary for which I wasn't paid, for which I had really No Passion for. 

It was Not My Story. 

And The Dude never once said, 

'Thanks for Taking The Time."' 

Like, I'll do anything as long as somebody says, 

"Hey, Thanks." 

 

Gratitude's a big part of My Life. 

It so was weird, That Dude didn't have two seconds to be like: 

"Night, Tubby." 

Or anything like that. 

Or just, "I knew there was no film in that camera." 

He never once said thank you. 

I was so fucking cheesed, man. I was like, 

"This is Why Fans Turn on People." 

Somebody disappoints them and they fucking turn on them. But this is one instance where I felt like it was valid. 

 

All he had to do was say,  

"Hey, Man, Thanks." 

That would've been fine. 

But the thing pissed me off the most the whole week, not once did The Guy ever once play fucking "BatDance."