Family Portrait, 1984.
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
Hello.
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
I should say you look rather lost.
But then I cannot imagine where in The World
The Three of You would look at Home.
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
We're not lost.
We're on our way to Delhi.
This is Miss Scott.
This is Mr. Round.
Short-Round.
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
My Name is Indiana Jones.
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
Dr. Jones, the eminent archaeologist?
Ms. Willie Scott :
Hard to believe, isn't it?
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
Ah. I remember first hearing
Your Name when I was
up at Oxford.
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
Oh.
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
I'm Chattar Lal, Prime Minister
to His Highness, The Maharaja
of Pankot.
(takes Willie’s Hand —)
I'm enchanted.
Enchanted.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
Welcome to Pankot Palace!
Enchanted, huh?
Shorty, where's my razor?
We are fortunate tonight to have
so many unexpected visitors.
This is Captain Blumburtt.
And you, sir, are
Dr.Jones, I presume.
I am, Captain.
Captain Blumburtt and his troops
are on a routine inspection tour.
The British find it
amusing to inspect us
at their convenience.
I do hope, sir, that it's not, uh,
inconvenient to you, uh... sir.
The British worry so
about Their Empire.
Makes us all feel like
well-cared-for children.
Ah... You look beautiful.
I think The Maharaja is swimming in loot.
Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea
coming here after all.
You Look like A Princess.
Mr. Lal, what do they call
The Maharaja's wife?
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
His Highness has not
yet taken A Wife.
….How interesting.
Well, uh, maybe it's because he
hasn't found the right woman.
His Supreme Highness,
Guardian of Pankot Tradition,
The Maharaja of Pankot,
Zalim Singh.
That's the maharaja?
A kid?!
Maybe he like older women.
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
Captain Blumburtt was just telling me something
of the interesting History of The Palace...
the importance it played in The Mutiny.
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
It seems The British never
forget The Mutiny of 1857.
Yes, well, you know,
I think there are other events before The Mutiny,
going back a century, back to the time of Clive,
that are more interesting.
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
And what events are those, Dr. Jones?
Well, if Memory serves Me correctly, this area,
this province, was the center of activity
for The Thuggee.
Ah!
Snake... surprise.
What's the surprise?
Dr. Jones, you know perfectly well The Thuggee cult
has been dead for nearly a century.
Yes, of course.
Capt. Blumburtt :
The Thuggee was an obscenity that
worshipped Kali with Human Sacrifices.
The British Army nicely
did-away with them.
Well, I suppose stories of
The Thuggee die hard.
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
There are no stories anymore.
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
I'm not so sure…
We came from a small village.
The peasants there told us Pankot Palace was growing
powerful again because of some ancient evil.
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
Village stories, Dr. Jones.
They're just fear and folklore.
You're beginning to worry
Captain Blumburtt.
I'm not worried, Mr. Prime Minister,
just, uh... just, um, interested.
Ah... what?
You are not eating?
I had bugs for lunch.
Give me your hat.
Why?
'Cause I'm gonna puke in it.
Oh!
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
You know, The Villagers also told us
Pankot Palace had taken something.
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
Dr. Jones, in our country, it's not usual
for a guest to insult his host.
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
I'm sorry — I thought we were talking about folklore.
Excuse me, sir, do you have anything simple, like soup?
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
What exactly was it they say was stolen?
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
A sacred rock.
Ha!
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
You see, Captain --
a rock!
Ah!
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
Ah... something connected The Villagers' rock
and the old legend of The Sankara stones.
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
Dr. Jones, we are all vulnerable to vicious rumors.
I seem to remember that in Honduras, you
were accused of being a grave-robber
rather than an archaeologist.
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
Well, The Newspapers greatly
exaggerated The Incident.
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
And wasn't it The Sultan of Madagascar
who threatened to cut Your Head off
if you ever returned to His Country?
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
No, it wasn't My Head.
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
Then Your Hands, perhaps.
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
No, it wasn't my hands, it was my...
my misunderstanding.
Prime Minister Chattar Lal :
Exactly what we have here, Dr. Jones.
I have heard the evil stories of The Thuggee cult.
I thought The Stories were told to frighten children.
Later, I learnt The Thuggee cult was once real
and did of unspeakable things.
I am ashamed of what happened
here so many years ago,
and I assure you this will never
happen again in My Kingdom.
Dr. Henry Jones Jr. :
If I offended you...
then I am sorry.
Ah, dessert!
Chilled Monkey Brains
