I'll admit it's confusing from The Outside.

How Not To Explain Calvinism

 EXT. SAN DIEGO BEACH - DAY

 Jake and Niki sit at a ramshackle picnic table at a park overlooking the ocean. Several children play in the distance.

 Niki finishes her Big Mac, crumbles the bag and throws it away. She unwraps a Milky Way and she finishes her fries. Jake watches with astonishment as she chomps her way through a second candy bar.

 JAKE

 You really shouldn't eat like that. 

 All that sugar. It's not good for you.

 NIKI

 At least I'm a growing person.

 JAKE

 You won't keep growing at this rate.

NIKI

What rate?

JAKE

You know what I'm talking about.

NIKI (snotty)

You never met a working girl before, have you? You think I like sucking off guys all night? Maybe I do. So what? (a beat) 

You can't even say it, can you?

 JAKE

 Say what?

 NIKI

 'Sucking off.'

JAKE

Okay. Sucking off. 

Now does that make me as good as you?

NIKI

 You don't understand shit.

JAKE

Okay, tell me. Why do you live like you do?

NIKI

Did you ever live in a room with six people and you didn't have any money, any food, any furniture? Have your brother come out, his car break down, he can't get a job? Your friends stealing food, going through trash behind a supermarket?

 JAKE (sympathetic)

 Is that the way it was with you?

 NIKI

 No. But does it make any difference?

 (a beat)

 How did you get to be the way you are?

 Jake doesn't answer.

 NIKI (continuing)

 Don't knock it. A girl can save up a lot money doing this -- big money. 

Then you're free. You can go off to Europe, meet somebody, get married. 

My girlfriend's going to buy her own beauty parlor. Not me. I'm gonna travel. 'Keep movin' that's my motto.

 (a beat)

Would you rather work at Copper Penny at a dollar-eighty an hour, having every two-bit cocksucker able to yell at you? I can make more money suc... doing what I do for five minutes than I can all week at another  job.

 JAKE

 You used to work at Copper Penny?

 NIKI

 No.

 JAKE (pause)

 You and I, Niki, have very different ideas about sex.

 NIKI

 Why? Are you a sex fiend?

 JAKE (smiles)

 No.

 NIKI

 Neither am I.

 JAKE

 But it's all you do.

 NIKI

 How important do you think sex is?

 JAKE

 Not very.

 NIKI

 We're just alike. You think sex is so unimportant you don't do it. I think sex is so unimportant I don't care who I do it with.

 Jake thinks. That sounds right. But it can't be right. He looks away, then back at her.

JAKE

You can never understand a person like me. I am a mystery to you. 

A middle class person, a Mid-westerner. 

A man who doesn't pursue women. 

A man who believes in social order. 

A man who goes to church, believes in God, and a man who, at the end of his life, believes he will be redeemed.

 (a beat)

This is all unfathomable to you. 

Fifty years ago, in art, the prostitute sought to justify her life to the bourgeoisie. Now it is the bourgeoisie who must justify himself to the whore.

JAKE (continuing)

I don't see why I must justify myself to you. I don't care about the things you do. I don't care what's happening in New York or Los Angeles. I don't care about movies or TV. I don't care who's on Johnny Carson.

 NIKI

 (incredulous)

 What do you care about?

 JAKE

 (cold)

 I care about my daughter. 

INT. OKINAWA BAR - DAY

 Niki and Jake stand at the counter talking with JIM RUCKER, an entrepreneurial type about 40.

 NIKI

 You remember me. Louise? Rhymes with squeeze.

 RUCKER

 (looks, then nods)

 You working in San Diego now?

 NIKI

 I'm still in L.A., but I'm looking 

 for Tod. I heard he was around.

 RUCKER

 'Was.' He and that shitheel Ratan went down to T-J. Maybe I shouldn't say that. Anyway, I hear he's back in Frisco now.

 NIKI

 Was he with a girl?

 RUCKER

 No.

 NIKI

  Thanks.

 Niki starts to leave.

 RUCKER

 Keep in touch, baby. Got some good 

 stuff comin' up. Need you back, baby.

 (as they exit)

 And take good care of your friend 

 for me.

 Jake turns back as Niki gives him a tug.

 CUT TO: EXT. OKINAWA BAR - DAY

 They walk toward the car.

 JAKE

 What's T-J?

 NIKI

 Tijuana.

 JAKE

 They were here?

 NIKI

 Tod was.

 (her voice chills)

 He was with Ratan.

 JAKE

 What does that mean?

 (no answer)

 What does he do?

 NIKI

 He deals in pain.

 JAKE

 Is Kristen safe?

 She doesn't answer.

 JAKE

 (continuing)

 Let's get a plane for San Francisco.

 CUT TO: INT. L.A. POLICE MISSING PERSONS - DAY DETECTIVE BURROWS walks back into his office. Mast, sitting on the edge of the desk, is waiting for him.

 BURROWS

 Apparently your friend has gone into 

 Mexico. A Border Guard responded to 

 the APB. How does it feel to have 

 the L.A.P.D. doing your work for 

 you?

 

 MAST

 You're going to thank me for this. 

 You know what the media's like. They 

 love this kinda shit. If that guy 

 goes off half-cocked and gets himself 

 hurt, you're going to have so much 

 bad publicity, you...

 BURROWS

 (interrupting)

 I heard you the first time. We had 

 nothing to go on with this kid. Just 

 a runaway.

 (a beat)

 Do you really think he's in danger?

 MAST

 If he has anything to say about it, yeah. 

I've been asking a lot of  questions and I don't like the answers I'm getting. He's made a lot of people nervous, including some poor faggot who thought he was going to be a movie star.

 BURROWS

 We aren't gonna arrest him for that...

 MAST

 (interrupting)

 Big threat. TV would ream you.

 BURROWS

 Keep me informed of what he's up to. 

 You help me, I'll help you. Mast nods.

BURROWS

 (continuing)

 Why don't people stay where they 

 belong?

CUT TO: INT. SAN DIEGO AIRPORT - DAY

 Jake and Niki sit in a line of multi-colored plexi-glass chairs in the Western Terminal of the airport. Niki munches a pack of Chuckles while Jake, his elbows on his knees, looks at the floor. Niki prattles on.

NIKI

You know what your problem is? 

You're a very negative person. 

You think negatively.

 Jake tries to ignore her.

 NIKI (continuing)

 You have to believe in something. 

 What do they believe in -- the 

 Whatjamacillit church?

 JAKE

 Christian Reformed. It's a Dutch 

 Calvinist denomination.

 NIKI

 Do they believe in reincarnation? I 

 believe in reincarnation.

 JAKE

 They believe in the 'TULIP.'

 NIKI

 What the crap?

 JAKE (smiles)

 It's an anagram. It comes from the 

 Canons of Dort. Every letter stands 

 for a different belief. T-U-L-I-P. 

 Like -- are you sure you're interested 

 in this?

 NIKI

 Yeah, yeah, go on.

 JAKE

 T stands for Total depravity, that 

 is, all men, through original sin, 

 are totally evil and incapable of 

 good. 'All my works are like filthy 

 rags in the sight of the Lord.'

 NIKI

 Shit.

 Jake is charmed. He's never been called upon to explain his beliefs to someone so totally ignorant of them.

JAKE

Be that as it may. U is for Unconditional Election. God has chosen a certain number of people to be saved, The Elect, and He has chosen them from the beginning of time. 

L is for Limited Atonement. Only a limited number will be atoned, will go to Heaven.

 

NIKI

Fuck.

JAKE

I can stop if you want.

 NIKI

 No, please go on.

 The INTERCOM ANNOUNCES a flight: Jake listens for a moment. It's a flight to Mexico City.

 JAKE

 I is for Irresistible Grace. God's 

 grace cannot be resisted or denied. 

 And P is for the Perseverance of the 

 Saints. Once you are in Grace you 

 cannot fall from the number of the 

 elect. And that's the 'TULIP.'

 NIKI

Wait, wait. I'm trying to figure this out. 

This is like Rona Barrett. 

Before you become saved, God already knows who you are?

 JAKE

 He has to. That's Predestination. 

If God is omniscient, if He knows everything -

- and He wouldn't be God if He didn't -

- then He must have known, even before the creation of the world, the names of those who would be saved.

NIKI

So it's already worked out. 

The Fix is in?

JAKE

More or less.

NIKI

Wow. Then why be good? 

Either You're Saved or you ain't.

JAKE

Out of gratitude for being chosen. 

That's where Grace comes in. 

God first chooses you, then allows you, 

by Grace, to choose Him of your own free will.

 

NIKI

(amazed)

You really believe all that?

JAKE

Yeah. (shrugs) Well, mostly.

NIKI

I thought I was fucked up.

 

JAKE

I'll admit it's confusing 

from The Outside. 

You've got to see 

it from The Inside --

NIKI

If you see anything 

from The Inside 

it makes sense...!!

 

You ought to hear perverts talk. 

A guy once almost 

had me convinced to let his 

German Shepherd fuck me.

JAKE

….It's not quite the same thing.

NIKI

It doesn't make any fuckin’ sense to Me. 

The INTERCOM ANNOUNCES 

Western Flight #601 to San Francisco.

 They rise.

The Dismal Science

"There's another fellow," muttered Scrooge; who overheard him: "my clerk, with fifteen shillings a week, and a wife and family, talking about a merry Christmas.  I'll retire to Bedlam."

This lunatic, in letting Scrooge's nephew out, had let two other people in.  They were portly gentlemen, pleasant to behold, and now stood, with their hats off, in Scrooge's office.  They had books and papers in their hands, and bowed to him.

"Scrooge and Marley's, I believe," said one of the gentlemen, referring to his list.  "Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Scrooge, or Mr. Marley?"

"Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years," Scrooge replied.  "He died seven years ago, this very night."

"We have no doubt his liberality is well represented by his surviving partner," said the gentleman, presenting his credentials.

It certainly was; for they had been two kindred spirits.  At the ominous word "liberality," Scrooge frowned, and shook his head, and handed the credentials back.

"At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge," said the gentleman, taking up a pen, "it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the Poor and Destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time.  Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir."

"Are there no prisons?" asked Scrooge.

"Plenty of prisons," said the gentleman, laying down the pen again.

"And the Union workhouses?"  demanded Scrooge.  "Are they still in operation?"

"They are.  Still," returned the gentleman, "I wish I could say they were not."

"The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, then?"  said Scrooge.

"Both very busy, sir."

"Oh!  I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course," said Scrooge.  "I'm very glad to hear it."

"Under the impression that they scarcely furnish Christian cheer of mind or body to the multitude," returned the gentleman, "a few of us are endeavouring to raise a fund to buy the Poor some meat and drink and means of warmth.  We choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt, and Abundance rejoices.  What shall I put you down for?"

"Nothing!" Scrooge replied.

"You wish to be anonymous?"

"I wish to be left alone," said Scrooge.  "Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer.  I don't make merry myself at Christmas and I can't afford to make idle people merry.  I help to support the establishments I have mentioned -- they cost enough; and those who are badly off must go there."

"Many can't go there; and many would rather die."

"If they would rather die," said Scrooge, "they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.  Besides -- excuse me -- I don't know that."

"But you might know it," observed the gentleman.

"It's not my business," Scrooge returned.  

"It's enough for a man to understand his own business, and not to interfere with other people's.  Mine occupies me constantly.  Good afternoon, gentlemen!"


Seeing clearly that it would be useless to pursue their point, the gentlemen withdrew.  Scrooge returned his labours with an improved opinion of himself, and in a more facetious temper than was usual with him.

Scrooge fell upon his knees, and clasped his hands before his face.
"Mercy!" he said.  "Dreadful apparition, why do you trouble me?"

"Man of the worldly mind!" replied the Ghost, "do you believe in me or not?"

"I do," said Scrooge.  "I must.  But why do spirits walk the earth, and why do they come to me?"

"It is required of every man," the Ghost returned, "that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellowmen, and travel far and wide; and if that spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so after death.  It is doomed to wander through the world -- oh, woe is me! -- and witness what it cannot share, but might have shared on earth, and turned to happiness!"

Again the spectre raised a cry, and shook its chain and wrung its shadowy hands.

"You are fettered," said Scrooge, trembling.  "Tell me why?"

"I wear the chain I forged in life," replied the Ghost. "I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.  Is its pattern strange to you?"

Scrooge trembled more and more.

"Or would you know," pursued the Ghost, "the weight and length of the strong coil you bear yourself?  It was full as heavy and as long as this, seven Christmas Eves ago.  You have laboured on it, since. It is a ponderous chain!"

Scrooge glanced about him on the floor, in the expectation of finding himself surrounded by some fifty or sixty fathoms of iron cable: but he could see nothing.

"Jacob," he said, imploringly.  "Old Jacob Marley, tell me more.  Speak comfort to me, Jacob!"

"I have none to give," the Ghost replied.  "It comes from other regions, Ebenezer Scrooge, and is conveyed by other ministers, to other kinds of men.  Nor can I tell you what I would.  A very little more, is all permitted to me.  I cannot rest, I cannot stay, I cannot linger anywhere.  My spirit never walked beyond our counting-house -- mark me! -- in life my spirit never roved beyond the narrow limits of our money-changing hole; and weary journeys lie before me!"

It was a habit with Scrooge, whenever he became thoughtful, to put his hands in his breeches pockets.  Pondering on what the Ghost had said, he did so now, but without lifting up his eyes, or getting off his knees.

"You must have been very slow about it, Jacob," Scrooge observed, in a business-like manner, though with humility and deference.
"Slow!" the Ghost repeated.

"Seven years dead," mused Scrooge.  "And travelling all the time!"
"The whole time," said the Ghost.  "No rest, no peace.  Incessant torture of remorse."

"You travel fast?"  said Scrooge.

"On the wings of the wind," replied the Ghost.

"You might have got over a great quantity of ground in seven years," said Scrooge.

The Ghost, on hearing this, set up another cry, and clanked its chain so hideously in the dead silence of the night, that the Ward would have been justified in indicting it for a nuisance.

"Oh!  captive, bound, and double-ironed," cried the phantom, "not to know, that ages of incessant labour, by immortal creatures, for this earth must pass into eternity before the good of which it is susceptible is all developed.  Not to know that any Christian spirit working kindly in its little sphere, whatever it may be, will find its mortal life too short for its vast means of usefulness.  Not to know that no space of regret can make amends for one life's opportunity misused!  Yet such was I!  Oh!  such was I!"

"But you were always a good man of business, Jacob," faltered Scrooge, who now began to apply this to himself.

"Business!" cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again.  "Mankind was my business.  The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business.  The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!"

It held up its chain at arm's length, as if that were the cause of all its unavailing grief, and flung it heavily upon the ground again.

"At this time of the rolling year," the spectre said "I suffer most.  Why did I walk through crowds of fellow-beings with my eyes turned down, and never raise them to that blessed Star which led the Wise Men to a poor abode!  Were there no poor homes to which its light would have conducted me!"

Scrooge was very much dismayed to hear the spectre going on at this rate, and began to quake exceedingly.

"Hear me!" cried the Ghost.  "My time is nearly gone."

"I will," said Scrooge.  "But don't be hard upon me!  Don't be flowery, Jacob!  Pray!"

"How it is that I appear before you in a shape that you can see, I may not tell.  I have sat invisible beside you many and many a day."

It was not an agreeable idea.  Scrooge shivered, and wiped the perspiration from his brow.

"That is no light part of my penance," pursued the Ghost.  "I am here to-night to warn you, that you have yet a chance and hope of escaping my fate.  A chance and hope of my procuring, Ebenezer."

"You were always a good friend to me," said Scrooge.  "Thank `ee!"

"You will be haunted," resumed the Ghost, "by Three Spirits."

Scrooge's countenance fell almost as low as the Ghost's had done.

"Is that the chance and hope you mentioned, Jacob?"  he demanded, in a faltering voice.

"It is."

"I -- I think I'd rather not," said Scrooge.

"Without their visits," said the Ghost, "you cannot hope to shun the path I tread.  Expect the first tomorrow, when the bell tolls one."

"Couldn't I take `em all at once, and have it over, Jacob?"  hinted Scrooge.

"Expect the second on the next night at the same hour.  The third upon the next night when the last stroke of twelve has ceased to vibrate.  Look to see me no more; and look that, for your own sake, you remember what has passed between us!"

When it had said these words, the spectre took its wrapper from the table, and bound it round its head, as before.  Scrooge knew this, by the smart sound its teeth made, when the jaws were brought together by the bandage.  He ventured to raise his eyes again, and found his supernatural visitor confronting him in an erect attitude, with its chain wound over and about its arm.

The apparition walked backward from him; and at every step it took, the window raised itself a little, so that when the spectre reached it, it was wide open.  It beckoned Scrooge to approach, which he did.  When they were within two paces of each other, Marley's Ghost held up its hand, warning him to come no nearer.  Scrooge stopped.

Not so much in obedience, as in surprise and fear: for on the raising of the hand, he became sensible of confused noises in the air; incoherent sounds of lamentation and regret; wailings inexpressibly sorrowful and self-accusatory.  The spectre, after listening for a moment, joined in the mournful dirge; and floated out upon the bleak, dark night.

Scrooge followed to the window: desperate in his curiosity.  He looked out.

The air was filled with phantoms, wandering hither and thither in restless haste, and moaning as they went.  Every one of them wore chains like Marley's Ghost; some few (they might be guilty governments) were linked together; none were free.  

Many had been personally known to Scrooge in their lives.  He had been quite familiar with one old ghost, in a white waistcoat, with a monstrous iron safe attached to its ankle, who cried piteously at being unable to assist a wretched woman with an infant, whom it saw below, upon a door-step.  

The misery with them all was, clearly, that they sought to interfere, for good, in human matters, and had lost the power for ever.