Major Ben Marco :
Colonel!
Col. Milt, U.S. Army Intelligence :
Ben. May I come in for a minute?
Major Ben Marco :
Oh, please do. Of course.
Come on in. May I ask The Colonel :
(a) Is this an Official visit? And
(b) May I mix You a drink?
Col. Milt, U.S. Army Intelligence :
(a) Yes, it is, and
(b) You certainly may.
Major Ben Marco :
Scotch all right?
Col. Milt, U.S. Army Intelligence :
Fine. My God, where'd
ya get all the books?
Major Ben Marco :
I... I got A Guy picks 'em out for
me at random. Water all right?
Col. Milt, U.S. Army Intelligence :
Fine.
Major Ben Marco :
He's in, uh... San Francisco.
A little bookstore out there.
And, uh... he ships 'em to me,
wherever I happen to be stationed.
Col. Milt, U.S. Army Intelligence :
Have you read them all?
Major Ben Marco :
Yeah. They'd also make
great insulation against
An Enemy attack.
But The Truth of the matter is that
I'm just interested, you know, in
Principles of Modern Banking
and The History of Piracy,
The Paintings of Orozco,
Modern French Theatre,
The Jurisprudential Factor of
The Mafia administration,
Diseases of Horses and
The Novels of Joyce Cary and
Ethnic Choices of The Arabs.
— Things like that.
Col. Milt, U.S. Army Intelligence :
Ben.
Major Ben Marco :
Sir.
Col. Milt, U.S. Army Intelligence :
The Army's got a lot of things wrong with it,
but it does Take Care of its own people,
which is why I'm here -- as a
Public-relations Officer,
You're a disaster.
Major Ben Marco
I never wanted The Job.
Col. Milt, U.S. Army Intelligence :
You permitted The Secretary to make
unfortunate remarks to that idiot, Iselin,
which started him off on a rampage.
Major Ben Marco :
Listen to Me, please. For months,
I've been driven out of my mind
by a recurring dream.
Col. Milt, U.S. Army Intelligence :
The Medical Officer...
Major Ben Marco :
What the hell does The Medical Corps
know about intelligence work?
I tell you, there's something phoney
about Me, about Raymond Shaw, about
the whole Medal of Honor business.
For instance, when The Psychiatrist asked me
how I felt about Raymond Shaw and how
the whole patrol felt about him,
did you hear what I said? Really hear?
I said ‘Raymond Shaw is the
kindest, warmest, bravest,
most wonderful human being
I've ever known.’
And even now I feel that way, and yet,
somewhere in the back of my mind,
something tells me it's not True.
It's just not True.
It isn't as if Raymond's hard to like.
He's impossible to like! In fact,
he's probably one of the most
repulsive human beings I've ever
known in my whole... all of My Life.
Col. Milt, U.S. Army Intelligence :
What I came to tell you is Public Relations
has bounced you back to me.
And in your present state,
there's no possible way
I can use You.
As of This Moment, I'm
placing You on Sick Leave.
Go away, Ben.
Find yourself a girl.
Lie in the sun.
Major Ben Marco :
I absolutely refuse.
Col. Milt, U.S. Army Intelligence :
You don't seem to understand.
What I've just told you is not
a suggestion, Major.
It is An Order.
Major Ben Marco
Yes, sir.
Col. Milt, U.S. Army Intelligence
Good night, Ben.
