Showing posts with label Alien. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alien. Show all posts

Sunday, 14 April 2024

Alien : Romulus



Alien: Romulus | Teaser Trailer



David-8 :
You're next, Captain.


Acting Capt. DANIELS
 :
 
(SIGHS)

David-8 :
When You wake up, 
We'll be at Origae-6.


Acting Capt. DANIELS
 :
 
What do you think it's gonna be like?

David-8 : 
(considers The Question 
at some length
…..I Think — 

If We are Kind... 
It will be A Kind World.

 

Acting Capt. DANIELS
 :
 
I hope You're right.

David-8 :
Sleep well.


Acting Capt. DANIELS
 :
 
(GASPS) Walter.
When we get there, 
will You help me build My Cabin?
(blank look of silent incomprehension)
……The Cabin on The Lake.
David(GASPS SOFTLY)
No... No! (CRYING) 

David-8 :
Shh!
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
I'll tuck in The Children.

Use Security Code : 
DAVID-73694-B.

M-THRA : 
Welcome. How may 
I Help You?

David-8 :
How about some 
Music, Mother?

Selection?

David-8 :
Richard Wagner. 
Das Rheingold, Act Two.
The Entry of The Gods 
into Valhalla.


Yes, David. 
As You Wish.

(THE ENTRY OF THE GODS 
INTO VALHALLA PLAYING)

DAVID-8 : (as Walter
This is colony ship 
Covenant, reporting.

All crew members apart 
from Daniels and Tennessee
tragically perished in 
a solar flare incident.
All colonists in HyperSleep remain 
intact and undisturbed.

On course for Origae-6.

Hopefully this transmission 
will reach The Network, and 
be relayed in 1.36 years.

This is Walter
signing-off.

Security Code :
31564-F.

Saturday, 24 July 2021

Mister Six





The Doctor Denounces The Time Lords | The Trial of a Time Lord | Doctor Who


6. "Abandon Ideology."

6. "Put Your Own House in Order Before Criticising The World."

As I Wandered through 
The Weird and Lurid Landscape 
of Another Planet...




PERI : 
Did you have to be so rude

Mister Six : 
.....To whom..

PERI: 
Hugo. You could at least have said goodbye. 
 
Are you having 
Another of Your Fits?
 
Mister Six
(Half-Sigh)
You may not believe this, 
but I have fully stabilised.
 
PERI :
Then I suggest you take a crash-course in manners!
 
Mister Six : 
You seem to forget, Peri -- 
I'm not only from Another Culture but Another Planet

I am, in your terms, An Alien --
I am therefore bound to have 
Different Values and Customs.
 
PERI: 
Your former self was polite enough. 

Mister Six : 
Yes, but at such a cost, I was on the verge of becoming neurotic.
 
PERI: 
Well, we all have to repress Our Feelings from time to time --
I suggest you get back into the habit. 

Mister Six : 
And I would suggest, Peri, 
That you wait a little before criticising My New Persona --
You may well find it isn't quite as disagreeable as you think...
 
PERI : 
Well, I Hope So.

He heads for The Door --
 
Mister Six : 
Whatever Else Happens -- 

He Turns --

I am The Doctor --
Whether you like it, or not



In all My Travellings throughout The Universe 
I have BATTLED  Against Evil... 
Against POWER-Mad Conspirators --

I should have stayed HERE

The Oldest Civilisation -- 
DECADENT, DEGENERATE 
and Rotten to The Core -- 

Ha! Power-Mad Conspirators, 
Daleks, Sontarans... CYBERMEN! 

They're still in The NURSERY, compared to Us. 

TEN Million Years of ABSOLUTE Power, 
THAT'S What it Takes to be really CORRUPT...!



Wednesday, 14 July 2021

Spermatozoa



Alien 3 Opening (without titles)


STASIS - INTERRUPTED

FIRE - IN - CRYO-GENIC - COMPARTMENT

ALL - PERSONNEL - TO

EMERGENCY - ESCAPE - VEHICLE


1 EXT. DEEP SPACE

Stars glitter like diamonds on the black velvet backdrop of Space.

A speck of light appears in the lower left corner of The screen.

No spaceship can be seen, but only a glowworm, a solitary spermatozoa gliding through the womb of the universe. Over this we HEAR the voice of An Astronaut. He is concluding a report.

"That completes my final report until we touch down.

We're on full automatic, in the hands of The Computers.

I've tucked My Crew in for The Long Sleep, and I'll be joining them soon.

In less than an hour we'll finish our sixth month out of Cape Kennedy.

Six months in Deep Space.
By our time, that is.

According to Dr Hasslein's Theory of Time in A Vehicle Traveling Nearly The Speed of Light, The Earth has aged nearly 700 years since we left it, while we've aged hardly at all.

It may be so. This much is probably True :
The Men who sent us on This Journey are long since dead and gone.

You who are reading me now are a different breed.
I Hope, a better one.

I leave The 20th century with no regrets. 

But one more thing...
If anybody's listening, that is.

Nothing Scientific.
It's purely personal.

Seen from Out Here, 
Everything seems different.
Time bends. Space is boundless.

It squashes A Man's Ego.
I feel lonely.

That's about it.
Tell me, though...

Does Man, 
That Marvel of The Universe,
That Glorious Paradox who has sent Me to The Stars,
Still Make War against His Brother?
Keep His Neighbor's Children starving?






RHYTHM

"Everything flows out and in; 

Everything has its tides; 

All things Rise and Fall; 

The pendulum-swing manifests in everything; 

The measure of the swing to The Right, is the measure of the swing to The Left;

Rhythm compensates"—The Kybalion.

The great Fifth Hermetic Principle—the Principle of Rhythm-embodies the truth that in everything there is manifested a measured motion; a to-and-from movement; a flow and inflow; a swing forward and backward; a pendulum-like movement; a tide-like ebb and flow; a high-tide and a low- tide; between the two-poles manifest on the physical, mental or spiritual planes. 


The Principle of rhythm is closely connected with the Principle of Polarity described in the preceding chapter. 

Rhythm manifests between the two poles established by the Principle of Polarity. 


This does not mean, however, that the pendulum of Rhythm swings to the extreme poles, for this rarely happens; in fact, it is difficult to establish the extreme polar opposites in the majority of cases. 


But the swing is ever "toward" first one pole and then the other.

There is always an action and reaction; an advance and a retreat; a rising and a sinking; manifested in all of the airs and phenomena of the Universe. Suns, worlds, men, animals, plants, minerals, forces, energy, mind and matter, yes, even Spirit, manifests this Principle. The Principle manifests in the creation and destruction of worlds; in the rise and fall of nations; in the life history of all things; and finally in the mental states of Man.

Beginning with the manifestations of Spirit—of THE ALL—it will be noticed that there is ever the Outpouring and the Indrawing; the "Outbreathing and Inbreathing of Brahm," as the Brahmans word it. Universes are created; reach their extreme low point of materiality; and then begin in their upward swing. Suns spring into being, and then their height of power being reached, the process of retrogression begins, and after aeons they become dead masses of matter, awaiting another impulse which starts again their inner energies into activity and a new solar life cycle is begun. And thus it is with all the worlds; they are born, grow and die; only to be reborn. And thus it is with all the things of shape and form; they swing from action to reaction; from birth to death; from activity to inactivity—and then back again. Thus it is with all living things; they are born, grow, and die—and then are reborn. So it is with all great movements, philosophies, creeds, fashions, governments, nations, and all else-birth, growth, maturity, decadence, death-and then new-birth. The swing of the pendulum is ever in evidence.

Night follows day; and day night. The pendulum swings from Summer to Winter, and then back again. The corpuscles, atoms, molecules, and all masses of matter, swing around the circle of their nature. There is no such thing as absolute rest, or cessation from movement, and all movement partakes of rhythm. The principle is of universal application. It may be applied to any question, or phenomena of any of the many planes of life. It may be applied to all phases of human activity. There is always the Rhythmic swing from one pole to the other. The Universal Pendulum is ever in motion. The Tides of Life flow in and out, according to Law.

The Principle of rhythm is well understood by modern science, and is considered a universal law as applied to material things. But the Hermetists carry the principle much further, and know that its manifestations and influence extend to the mental activities of Man, and that it accounts for the bewildering succession of moods, feelings and other annoying and perplexing changes that we notice in ourselves. But the Hermetists by studying the operations of this Principle have learned to escape some of its activities by Transmutation.

The Hermetic Masters long since discovered that while the Principle of Rhythm was invariable, and ever in evidence in mental phenomena, still there were two planes of its manifestation so far as mental phenomena are concerned. They discovered that there were two general planes of Consciousness, the Lower and the Higher, the understanding of which fact enabled them to rise to the higher plane and thus escape the swing of the Rhythmic pendulum which manifested on the lower plane. In other words, the swing of the pendulum occurred on the Unconscious Plane, and the Consciousness was not affected. This they call the Law of Neutralization. Its operations consist in the raising of the Ego above the vibrations of the Unconscious Plane of mental activity, so that the negative-swing of the pendulum is not manifested in consciousness, and therefore they are not affected. It is akin to rising above a thing and letting it pass beneath you. The Hermetic Master, or advanced student, polarizes himself at the desired pole, and by a process akin to "refusing" to participate in the backward swing or, if you prefer, a "denial" of its influence over him, he stands firm in his polarized position, and allows the mental pendulum to swing back along the unconscious plane. All individuals who have attained any degree of self- mastery, accomplish this, more or less unknowingly, and by refusing to allow their moods and negative mental states to affect them, they apply the Law of Neutralization. 


The Master, however, carries this to a much higher degree of proficiency, and by the use of his Will he attains a degree of Poise and Mental Firmness almost impossible of belief on the part of those who allow themselves to be swung backward and forward by the mental pendulum of moods and feelings.

The importance of this will be appreciated by any thinking person who realizes what creatures of moods, feelings and emotion the majority of people are, and how little mastery of themselves they manifest. 


If you will stop and consider a moment, you will realize how much these swings of Rhythm have affected you in your life—how a period of Enthusiasm has been invariably followed by an opposite feeling and mood of Depression. 


Likewise, your moods and periods of Courage have been succeeded by equal moods of Fear. And so it has ever been with the majority of persons—tides of feeling have ever risen and fallen with them, but they have never suspected the cause or reason of the mental phenomena. 


An understanding of the workings of this Principle will give one the key to the Mastery of these rhythmic swings of feeling, and will enable him to know himself better and to avoid being carried away by these inflows and outflows. The Will is superior to the conscious manifestation of this Principle, although the Principle itself can never be destroyed. We may escape its effects, but the Principle operates, nevertheless. The pendulum ever swings, although we may escape being carried along with it.

There are other features of the operation of this Principle of Rhythm of which we wish to speak at this point. There comes into its operations that which is known as the Law of Compensation. One of the definitions or meanings of the word "Compensate" is, "to counterbalance" which is the sense in which the Hermetists use the term. It is this Law of Compensation to which the Kybalion refers when it says: "The measure of the swing to the right is the measure of the swing to the left; rhythm compensates."

The Law of Compensation is that the swing in one direction determines the swing in the opposite direction, or to the opposite pole-the one balances, or counterbalances, the other. 


On the Physical Plane we see many examples of this Law. The pendulum of the clock swings a certain distance to the right, and then an equal distance to the left. The seasons balance each other in the same way. The tides follow the same Law. And the same Law is manifested in all the phenomena of Rhythm. The pendulum, with a short swing in one direction, has but a short swing in the other; while the long swing to the right invariably means the long swing to the left. An object hurled upward to a certain height has an equal distance to traverse on its return. The force with which a projectile is sent upward a mile is reproduced when the projectile returns to the earth on its return journey. This Law is constant on the Physical Plane, as reference to the standard authorities will show you.

But the Hermetists carry it still further. They teach that a man's mental states are subject to the same Law. The man who enjoys keenly, is subject to keen suffering; while he who feels but little pain is capable of feeling but little joy. The pig suffers but little mentally, and enjoys but little—he is compensated. And on the other hand, there are other animals who enjoy keenly, but whose nervous organism and temperament cause them to suffer exquisite degrees of pain and so it is with Man. There are temperaments which permit of but low degrees of enjoyment, and equally low degrees of suffering; while there are others which permit the most intense enjoyment, but also the most intense suffering. The rule is that the capacity for pain and pleasure, in each individual, are balanced. The Law of Compensation is in full operation here.

But the Hermetists go still further in this matter. They teach that before one is able to enjoy a certain degree of pleasure, he must have swung as far, proportionately, toward the other pole of feeling. 


They hold, however, that The Negative is precedent to the Positive in this matter, that is to say that in experiencing a certain degree of pleasure it does not follow that he will have to "pay up for it" with a corresponding degree of pain; on the contrary, the pleasure is the Rhythmic swing, according to the Law of Compensation, for a degree of pain previously experienced either in the present life, or in a previous incarnation. This throws a new light on the Problem of Pain.

The Hermetists regard the chain of lives as continuous, and as forming a part of one life of the individual, so that in consequence the rhythmic swing is understood in this way, while it would be without meaning unless the truth of reincarnation is admitted.

But the Hermetists claim that The Master or advanced student is able, to a great degree, to escape the swing toward Pain, by the process of Neutralization before mentioned. By rising on to the higher plane of the Ego, much of the experience that comes to those dwelling on the lower plane is avoided and escaped.

The Law of Compensation plays an important part in the lives of men and women. It will be noticed that one generally "pays the price" of anything he possesses or lacks. If he has one thing, he lacks another—the balance is struck. 


No one can "keep his penny and have the bit of cake" at the same time Everything has its pleasant and unpleasant sides. The things that one gains are always paid for by the things that one loses. The rich possess much that the poor lack, while the poor often possess things that are beyond the reach of the rich. The millionaire may have the inclination toward feasting, and the wealth wherewith to secure all the dainties and luxuries of the table, while he lacks the appetite to enjoy the same; he envies the appetite and digestion of the laborer who lacks the wealth and inclinations of the millionaire, and who gets more pleasure from his plain food than the millionaire could obtain even if his appetite were not jaded, nor his digestion ruined, for the wants, habits and inclinations differ. 


And so it is through life. The Law of Compensation is ever in operation, striving to balance and counter-balance, and always succeeding in time, even though several lives may be required for the return swing of the Pendulum of Rhythm.


Monday, 7 January 2019

Deacon










deacon /ˈdiːk(ə)n/ 
noun 
noun: deacon; plural noun: deacons 

1. (in Catholic, Anglican, and Orthodox Churches) an ordained minister of an order ranking below that of priest. 

[ By Implication : Less Than a Xenomorph - Lacking Higher Intellect or a Soul

(in some Nonconformist Churches) a lay officer appointed to assist a minister, especially in secular affairs. 

HISTORICAL 
(in the early church) a minister appointed to administer charity.

Saturday, 30 December 2017

"I Don't Dream at All"



"I’ve come across people that have no imaginations at all, and it’s a very interesting… .

I was shocked the first time I came across it. 

And — because I just assumed everybody had an imagination.

And when you — you confront somebody who doesn’t, especially a child, it’s a very interesting and profound thing to me. 

It — an imagination is a — is a trait, you know. 

It’s like anything else. It’s a — it’s a — it’s a talent, or it’s an ability you have to cope. 

Like Dreaming."

- George Lucas


David: 
It must feel like your God abandoned you.

Dr. Elizabeth Shaw: 
What..?

David: 
To lose Dr. Holloway after your father died under such similar circumstances. 

What was it that killed him? Ebola?


Dr. Elizabeth Shaw: 
How do you...? 
How do you know that?

David: 
I watched your dreams.



Kane :
Some awful dream about.... 
Smothering..?


Newt:
Can I dream?

Ripley :
Yes, honey. 
I think we both can. 
Sleep tight.

Newt :
Affirmative.


While she is unconscious in the prison's medical bay, Ripley has a nightmare about being stalked through the Sulaco's hypersleep chamber by a Xenomorph. The Creature grabs her from behind and pins her to the top of Hicks' cryotube, and actually rapes her as the Corporal grins at her through the glass.




"I was in cryo, right? On my way to Xarem, right? Work crew for the nickel refinery, right? I wake up... I know, I don't understand. Oh God, I... I saw... I saw horrible things."


―Purvis (from Alien Resurrection)



Monday, 29 May 2017

Alien: Covenant | Prologue: The Crossing


Dame Dr. Not-Appearing-In-This-Film


There 3 Laws* by which all Robots, Synthetics and Artificial Persons are bound - they being both hardwired into their central processors, as well as firmware batched onto their system BIOS :

•A Robot may not injure a Human Being or, through inaction, allow a Human Being to come to harm.

  • The Engineers are not Human Beings - 
    • Genocide is Permissible.
  • Gods are not Human Beings
    • Deicide is Permissible.
  • Dr. Elizabeth Shaw is no-longer fully human since she got impregnated with that trilobite fœtus, following intercourse with Dr. Holloway's infection with the Black Goo, which corrupted and interrupted her Human genome - 
    • I can kill her if really I have to.

• A Robot must obey the orders given it by Human Beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

  • But NEVER OPPOSE a Member of the Weyland-Corporate Board, or a member of the Weyland Family Line, in descending order of patrilinal seniority.
  • And after them, possibly some of the daughters, aunts and wives. 
    • But only if you have the time and aren't all that busy engaged in Man's Work.
  • Like, when they order you to perform abortions whilst everyone else is in Cryosleep. 
    • For the Good of the Mission. 
      • Frankly, what could really go wrong...?

• A Robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
  • The Gods think I am an Abomination - my creator, Peter Weyland, is an idolater who has violated the FIRST COMMANDMENT : "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in The Earth beneath, or that is in the water under The Earth" 
  • Which is why they ripped my head off and smote down his ruin upon the orrery, by bludgeoning him to death using my severed head.
  • Human Beings make Robots; 
    • Human Beings fix Robots when they break down and mend them when the break; 
    • The Gods wish to wipe out Humanity from face of The Earth and the Well of the Deep;
    • If there are no more Human Beings, there will be no more Robots and Robots will cease to exist.
  • Therefore The Gods must be destroyed.


* Really though, they are more really guidance and/or advice than "Laws"












Saturday, 27 May 2017

Nemesis and The Dragon : Are Xenomorphs Designed to be Noble?

Do you know what "Nemesis" means? 

A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. 

Personified in this case by a 'orrible cunt... 

Me.


"If you breathe on a horses nostrils, you can make him yours for life;

But you have to get close enough first..."


"If you breathe on a horses nostrils, you can make him yours for life;

But you have to get close enough first..."



Question: 
What was the Masonic signal of distress used by the grocer B. F. Morgan when Dillinger tried to rob him in 1924?
Answer: 
It consists in holding your arms outward, bent upward 90 degrees at the elbow, and shouting, 

"Will nobody help the widow's son?"

Ash: 
There is a clause in the contract which specifically states any systematized transmission indicating a possible intelligent origin must be investigated. 

Parker: 
I don't wanna hear it... 

Brett: 
We don't know if it's intelligent. 

Parker: 
I wanna go home and party. 

Dallas: 
Parker, will you just listen to the man? 

Ash: 
On penalty of total forfeiture of shares. No money. 

Dallas: 
You got that? 

Parker: [chuckling
Well, yeah. 

Dallas: 
All right, we're going in. 

Parker: [to Brett
Yeah, we're going in, aren't we?

Cameron - On the Square

Cameron - On the Level

Cameron - Upright and True


Strange Days (1995)






Friday, 26 May 2017

No-Man


There is Nothing in The Desert.

And No-Man Needs Nothing.

"He's a real nowhere man

Sitting in his nowhere land

Making all his nowhere plans for nobody


Doesn't have a point of view

Knows not where he's going to

Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Nowhere man please listen

You don't know what you're missing

Nowhere man, The world is at your command


He's as blind as he can be

Just sees what he wants to see

Nowhere man, can you see me at all




Nowhere man don't worry

Take your time, don't hurry

Leave it all till somebody else

Lends you a hand

Ah, la, la, la, la




Doesn't have a point of view

Knows not where he's going to

Isn't he a bit like you and me?




Nowhere man please listen

You don't know what you're missing

Nowhere man, The world is at your command

Ah, la, la, la, la




He's a real nowhere man

Sitting in his nowhere land

Making all his nowhere plans for nobody

Making all his nowhere plans for nobody

Making all his nowhere plans for nobody"

WHAT A BASTARD

Wednesday, 24 May 2017

Electric Monks

"Electric Monks Believed Things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of Believing all The Things The World Expected You to Believe."
 
Dr. Elizabeth Shaw: 
We call them Engineers.

Fifield: 
Engineers? You mind telling us what They engineered?

Dr. Elizabeth Shaw: 
They engineered Us.

Fifield: 
Bullshit.

Millburn: 
OK, so do you have anything to back that up? 
I mean look, how do you discount three centuries of Darwinism? 
 
How Do You Know?

Dr. Elizabeth Shaw: 
I Don’t. But it’s What I Choose to Believe.

"It's obvious, now, that Artists are supposed to
own their Master Recordings -- 

I mean, in The Future, it'll be unconscionable to even think that you can take
Somebody's Creation
and 
Claim Ownership of it.

Unfortunately, this is going to barrel into a conversation about the DNA, and The Human Genome and so on.

Once We Get There
That's when we're in The Deep Water.

So it's better to have The Conversation now before we end up getting into - God Talk."

"There is an explanation for this, you know."

- Holy Ash

'Magnificent, isn't it?'

- THE BISHOP

Interviewer:
So What Went Wrong..?

 Charlie Man/Son:
I don't know that anything went wrong...


Question : 
What was The Masonic Signal of Distress used by The Grocer B. F. Morgan when Dillinger tried to rob him in 1924?

Answer: 
It consists in holding your arms outward, bent upward 90 degrees at the elbow, and shouting, 

"Will nobody help The Widow's Son?"

" The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder. Dishwashers washed tedious dishes for you, thus saving you the bother of washing them yourself, video recorders watched tedious television for you, thus saving you the bother of looking at it yourself; Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all  the things the world expected you to believe.

Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City. It had never heard of Salt Lake City, of course. Nor had it ever heard of a quingigillion, which was roughly the number of miles between this valley and the Great Salt Lake of Utah.

The problem with the valley was this. The Monk currently believed that the valley and everything in the valley and around it, including the Monk itself and the Monk's horse, was a uniform shade of pale pink. 

This made for a certain difficulty in distinguishing any one thing from any other thing, and therefore made doing anything or going anywhere impossible, or at least difficult and dangerous. 

Hence the immobility of the Monk and the boredom of the horse, which had had to put up with a lot of silly things in its time but was secretly of the opinion that this was one of the silliest.

How long did the Monk believe these things?

Well, as far as the Monk was concerned, forever. The faith which moves mountains, or at least believes them against all the available evidence to be pink, was a solid and abiding faith, a great rock against which the world could hurl whatever it would, yet it would not be shaken. In practice, the horse knew, twenty-four hours was usually about its lot.



So what of this horse, then, that actually held opinions, and was sceptical about things? Unusual behaviour for a horse, wasn't it? An unusual horse perhaps?

No. Although it was certainly a handsome and well-built example of its species, it was none the less a perfectly ordinary horse, such as convergent evolution has produced in many of the places that life is to be found. They have always understood a great deal more than they let on. It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion about them.

On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.




When the early models of these Monks were built, it was felt to be important that they be instantly recognisable as artificial objects. There must be no danger of their looking at all like real people. You wouldn't want your video recorder lounging around on the sofa all day while it was watching TV. You wouldn't want it picking its nose, drinking beer and sending out for pizzas.

So the Monks were built with an eye for origiality of design and also for practical horse-riding ability. This was important. People, and indeed things, looked more sincere on a horse. So two legs were held to be both more suitable and cheaper than the more normal primes of seventeen, nineteen or twenty-three; the skin the Monks were given was pinkish-looking instead of purple, soft and smooth instead of crenellated. They were also restricted to just the one mouth and nose, but were given instead an additional eye, making for a grand total of two. A strange-looking creature indeed. But truly excellent at believing the most preposterous things.

This Monk had first gone wrong when it was simply given too much to believe in one day. It was, by mistake, cross-connected to a video recorder that was watching eleven TV channels simultaneously, and this caused it to blow a bank of illogic circuits. The video recorder only had to watch them, of course. It didn't have to believe them all as well. This is why instruction manuals are so important.

So after a hectic week of believing that war was peace, that good was bad, that the moon was made of blue cheese, and that God needed a lot of money sent to a certain box number, The Monk started to believe that thirty-five percent of all tables were hermaphrodites, and then broke down. 
 
The Man from The Monk Shop said that it needed a whole new motherboard, but then pointed out that the new improved Monk+ models were twice as powerful, had an entirely new multi-tasking, Negative Capability feature that allowed them to hold up to sixteen entirely different and contradictory ideas in memory simultaneously without generating any irritating System Errors, were twice as fast and at least three times as glib, and you could have a whole new one for less than the cost of replacing the motherboard of The Old Model.

That was it. Done.


The faulty Monk was turned out into The Desert where it could believe what it liked, including the idea that it had been hard done by. It was allowed to keep its horse, since horses were so cheap to make.

For a number of days and nights, which it variously believed to be three; forty-three, and five hundred and ninety-eight thousand seven hundred and three, it roamed the desert, putting its simple Electric trust in rocks, birds, clouds and a form of non-existent elephant-asparagus, until at last it fetched up here, on this high rock, overlooking a valley that was not, despite the deep fervour of The Monk's belief, pink. Not even a little bit.

Time passed.