Showing posts with label Iceberg Slim. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Iceberg Slim. Show all posts

Saturday 20 August 2022

Ice Cold

Dave Chappelle Shares a Cold Story 
on Why He Left (Iceberg Slim - Pimp)

Taken from his Netflix special 
"The Bird Revelation"
Dave breaks down a story taken from the book 
"Pimp: The Story of my life 
by Iceberg Slim", 
in an effort to explain 
his reasons for walking away 
from 50 million dollars 
and a successful TV show

Sunday 29 May 2022

We Should Take Care of Each Other




“ We should Take Care of each-other…

Wouldn’t it be nice to be like, 
Remember that time,
They wuz’ gonna Kill Jesus 
but then He got 
all that Money?

[laughing] 

Real Talk, man. It’s not a racial thing. 
It’s about Us, making 
Our Society better. 

It’s about like even 
these women that 
are coming forward
and everyone says "They’re Brave."
and many of them are. 

And a few of them – a few of them sucked The Dick and got 
buyer’s remorse. 

[laughing]

You know, that’s a huge omission from This Narrative : —
This wouldn’t have gone this far 
if some women weren’t willing to DO it. 

You can’t ask every woman 
to Hold The Line. 
Some Women can carry things 
heavier than others


So, We should fight 
for one another. 

We should forgive 
the ones of us 
that are weaker and 
support the ones of us 
that are stronger

And then we can beat The Thing. 
If you guys keep going 
after individuals
The System is going 
to stay intact. 

You have to have Men 
on Your Side. 
And I’m Telling You right now, 
you’re gonna have a lot 
of imperfect allies.

I’ll tell you What Happened
but I can’t say it directly

There’s a book to me that encapsulates my entire experience -- before I left The Show. 

And the book is called 'Pimp'
It’s written by a guy named Iceberg Slim. 

Yeah, bring it up here. 
This is Matthew. 
Matthew’s from France. He’s White. 
And yet, he has an 
original copy of 
this book 
written by a black 
American who was 
a pimp in the ’40s. Iceberg Slim. 

His real name was Robert Beck -- 
He got the name 'Iceberg' because he was in a bar in Chicago
and there was a shootout in the bar, 
and a bullet went through this n i g g a’s hat, 
and he still finished His Drink. 

Pimps love shit like that. 

They said, “Man, 
You’re Ice-Cold.” 

And he said, “I Like that.” 
And it stuck.

This book is so heavy in the front and has a glossary of pimp terms, because the ideas are so foreign to the American ears. 

For instance, do you know what the phrase 
“mileage on a ho” means? 

[laughing

Of course you don’t. 

Mileage on a ho is a very wild concept. 

It means that, 

Pimps understand there’s a finite amount of bad shit a person can do before they lose their fucking mind

And a good pimp can 
look at A Woman 
that he’s never seen 
before, and Call it : 
"She’s Good for 500 fucks.
That’s her mileage
Anything over that, 
that bitch is gonna spill

They Do it to You -- 
Why the fuck you think most of us work from nine to five
Cause nine to six 
might kill a bitch. 

[laughing]

Iceberg Slim was the one 
that broke down what 
A Bottom-Bitch was. 
Does anyone know what a
Bottom-Bitch is? Anyone? 

What’s a Bottom-Bitch, sir? 

"It’s your, uh– 
it’s your prostitute 
that’s the best out 
of all of ’em
that bring in the 
most money."

That’s right. That’s exactly right. Are you Black? 
[laughing] 

That’s right
A Bottom-Bitch is a pimp’s Number-one Ho. 

She’s even a bitch 
that helps him keep 
the other bitches 
in Line. I will repeat

She’s even the bitch 
that helps him 
keep the other 
bitches in line. 


If The Pimp was McDonald’s
then the Bottom-Bitch is his French fries. [laughing] 

The rest of them bitches like fish sandwiches and 
cherry pies and 
shit like that. [laughing]

Iceberg Slim breaks down 
some of the coldest 
Capitalist Concepts I’ve 
ever heard in My Life

He describes in detail how
 these men break women so that 
they will give them the money 
that they make with their own bodies. 

There’s A Story in here so cold
it makes me shudder 
to think about it -- 
Iceberg Slim is trying to Control The Woman that 
he finds uncontrollable

So he asks an older pimp how he can rein her in. 
And the older pimp says, 
“Oh, that’s easy, Iceberg -- All you have to do
is beat that bitch with 
a coat-hanger -- and then 
run her a bath -- and 
give her some pills.... 

She’ll be so grateful 
that You Fixed her
that she’ll forget 
You were The Motherfucker 
that beat her in 
the first place.” 

That’s some cold shit.

Now. At the end of this book, Iceberg Slim tells A Story. It’s kind of the crescendo of the book. 

And in The Story, 
Iceberg Slim’s bottom bitch is at the end of her mileage -- If she was good for 500 fucks, she was at for 498. 

[laughing] 

She was bubbling, you could see it. She was going crazy. 
She started saying all kinds of shit. 
“I always wanted to be in The Circus.” 

"Circus..!? This bitch is losing it." 

[laughing] 
“I can juggle, too, you know?” 

Juggle? 

[laughing] 

He had to let her go. 

It was hard to let a bottom bitch go, 
and he wasn’t ready to let her go
because his organization couldn’t handle losing her. 

But she didn’t know that. 

She didn’t know how important she was. 

So what he did was, he called her to ignite her -- 
He said, “Look, bitch, you and I got to part ways.” 

She said, 
“Fine, motherfucker, I don’t need you anyway, 
because I know somebody at Ringling Brothers.” 

He was like, 
“All right, whatever." 

[laughing] 

"I got one last trick for you. It’s a big money trick. 
You do this for me, 
You get paid, I get paid, 
and we go our separate ways.” 

She said, 
Fine, motherfucker, what do you want me to do?” 

He said, 
“Okay, there’s a guy in that hotel across the street --
He’s waiting for you in room number seven : 
I want you to go over there and fuck him....

But before you do, I need you to 
put some of this stuff in his drink. 
And then he’s gonna fall asleep. 

When he does
his briefcase on his bed, 
bring the briefcase to me. 

That’s the trick, bitch. Can you handle it?” 

She said, 
“Fuck yeah, I can. I can’t wait to get rid of you.” 

And then she ran outside, 
jumped on a unicycle and peddled across the street. 

[laughing] 

And Iceberg watched her. He’s like, 
“Man, she’s pretty good.” 

[laughing] 

“If I never jerked off in her face, 
maybe she would’ve been in The Circus, now.” 

[laughing] [laughs]

And she runs up the motel steps 
and disappears in room number seven. 


She’s gone for a real long time. Real long time. 

So long, in fact, that Iceberg got a little worried. 

But then, suddenly, she came back. 

[gasps] 

He says, 
“Where’s the briefcase?” 

She said, 
“I didn’t get it, Daddy.” 

“What do you mean you didn’t? What’s wrong with you?” 

She said, 
“I did everything you said, 
but that man don’t look right -- 
Something Wrong, Daddy.” 

“What do you mean? Did you put that stuff in his drink?” 

“I did everything you said, Daddy, 
I put all of it in his drink.” 

He said, 
“Wait a minute, bitch, you put all of it in his drink?” 

Now he had to see for himself. 

So the two of them go to the motel, and they go into room number seven. 

And on the bed laying lifelessly is the white man that she was supposed to fuck. 

Iceberg said, 
“You right, bitch. He don’t look good. What the fuck?” 

So he called a friend of his that was a doctor that was close by. 
And the doctor came in, gave the guy a thorough examination and told them both what was obvious : 
“Slim, this motherfucker is dead.” 

“Oh, God, Daddy. Oh, no. 
Oh, no. We killed him!” 

He said, 
“Calm down, bitch -- We didn’t do anything

[laughing] 

You killed this motherfucker.” 

And then he reached on the bed and he grabbed the briefcase. 
He popped it open. It was filled with money. 

More than any of them had ever seen

Iceberg took a little bit of the money and gave it to the doctor, 
and the doctor left discreetly. 

“All right, bitch, let me think...

[sighs

I can fix this for you. 

I know somebody I can call --
But if I call him, 
I’m gonna owe these motherfuckers a big favor.” 

“Oh, God, Daddy, please. I don’t want to go to jail.” 

“Neither do I, bitch, so you shut up.”

He picked up the phone. She heard him mumbling in the phone a little bit. He hung up the phone, and then she was pacing the room, and he was just standing there cool, and they were waiting and waiting, and then suddenly, a van pulled up downstairs. 

Two guys get out with a carpet. 

They walk upstairs, they roll that carpet out on the floor, they throw the body in the carpet. 

They roll that motherfucker up like a burrito, they pick that shit up, and they throw it in the back of the van. 

They come back up 
and Iceberg opens the briefcase again 
and gives them a little money --

He says, 
“I’ll get in touch with you guys later.” 

They say, 
You’re not going to get in touch with us, we’ll find you.” 

He said, 
“Whatever, n i g g a.” 

And they bounced. 

“Oh, God, Daddy. Oh, God.” 

He says, 
“Relax, bitch. Listen

We getting the fuck out of here. 
You go downstairs and you get the car. 
We gotta leave separately.” 

She went, she got the car. 

Iceberg grabbed that briefcase, waited a few minutes, 
looked out the window, and then he went down with her. 
They both got in the car, and they drove off. 

She was a blubbering mess

“Oh! Oh, we did all this shit!” 

He said, 
“I told you bitch -- We didn’t do anything
You killed the motherfucker
and I cleaned him up
and now we got us a secret. Okay

I know I’m not going to tell, bitch, is you?” 

“Oh, no, I ain’t gonna tell.” 

He said, 
“All right, baby, cool. 
I’m gonna need you 
to stay with me for a while 
till this shit cools down.” 

She goes, 
“Okay, okay. Okay.” 

That’s The Game.

That’s how the whole shit works, ladies. You understand

This bitch was at the end of her mileage. 
She was at for 498, 
she ended up tricking for Iceberg 
for another six months

She must have turned another 200 tricks for him. 

Do you understand? 

That’s some cold shit

And the cold shit about it is, that 
the dead guy on the bed wasn’t even dead at all --
This motherfucker was just 
a friend of Iceberg’s, acting like he’s asleep. 

The Doctor wasn’t a Doctor -- 
He was a motherfucking butcher 
that happened to have a white coat. 

[laughing] 

And the dudes who came in 
with the moving van clothes 
was dressed like movers 
because they were movers --

Iceberg had gotten a new apartment. 

[laughing] 

And the bag of money… 
was Iceberg’s money in the first place. 

The money he got from all those women


That’s a cold game. 
That’s the motherfucking Capitalist Manifesto, 
and that’s Why I Went to South Africa. 

So now we got us a little secret, bitch. 
[laughing]