Objects in Space

David Foster Wallace on 

Why Existentialism Sucks

We Meant it for The Best.... To Make People Safer.

 

This Boat is My Home --

You All are Guests on it.

That Don't Include You 

'less I Conjure it Does.

An Operative of 

The Parliamentary Alliance :

I'm sorry. 

"If your quarry goes to ground, 

leave no ground to go to." 

You should have taken My Offer. 

Or did you think 

none of this was 

your fault? 

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds :

I don't murder children. 

An Operative of 

The Parliamentary Alliance :

•I• do -- If I have to.

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds :

Why? 

Do you even know 

why they sent you? 

An Operative of 

The Parliamentary Alliance :

It's not My Place to ask. 

I Believe in 

Something Greater Than Myself. 

A Better World. 

A World without Sin. 

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds :

So Me and Mine gotta lay down and die 

so you can Live in Your ‘Better World’? 

An Operative of 

The Parliamentary Alliance :

I'm not going to live there. 

There's no place for me there, 

any more than there is for you.

Malcolm — 

I'm a MONSTER. 

What I Do is EVIL. 

I have no illusions about it, 

but it Must Be Done. 

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds :

Keep Talking. 

You're not getting a location trace 

off this wave. 

An Operative of 

The Parliamentary Alliance :

And every minute you keep 

River Tam from me, 

MORE people will DIE. 

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds :

You think I care? 

An Operative of 

The Parliamentary Alliance :

Of course you care. 

You're not a Reaver, Mal. 

You're A Human Man 

and you will never understand how... 

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds :

Get these bodies together. 

We got time for grave digging? 

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds :

Zoe, You and Simon rope them together. 

Five or six. 

I want them laid out 

on the nose of Our Ship. 

Zoe Washburne :

Are you insane? 

I won't desecrate these bodies.

 

Simon Tam :

I don't understand. 

What do you mean, the bodies... 

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds :

I want you to muck up the reactor core. 

Just enough to leave a trail and make it read like we're flying without containment, 

not enough to fry us. 

Kaylee :

These people are Our Friends. 

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds :

Kaylee -- you got a day's work to do 

and two hours to do it. 

Jayne, you and Wash hoist up 

The Cannon Mount. Goes right on top. 

Piece or two of the other ship, stick it on. 

Any place you can tear hull 

without inner breach, do that, too. 

We're gonna need paint. 

We're gonna need red paint. 

Sir... 

Do you really mean to turn Our Home into an abomination so that we can make a suicidal attempt at passing through Reaver Space? 

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds :

I mean to Live. 

I mean for Us to Live. 

The Alliance won't have that, 

so We go where They don't follow. 

God's balls, there ain't no way 

we're going out there. 

Mal, think about what you're asking. 

...those Reavers'll eat us alive... 

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds :

This is How it Is. 

Anybody doesn't wanna fly with me anymore... 

This is your Port of Harbour. 

There's a lot of fine ways to die. 

I ain't waiting for the Alliance to choose mine. 

I mean to confound these bungers. 

Take my shot at getting to Miranda. 

Maybe find something I can use 

to get clear of this. 

So I hear a word out of any of you 

that ain't helping me out 

or taking your leave, 

I will shoot you down. 

Get to Work. 

Capt. Malcolm Reynolds :

This report is maybe twelve years old. Parliament buried it, 

and it stayed buried 'til River dug it up. 

This is what they feared she knew. 

And they were right to fear, 

'cause there's a whole universe of folk 

who are gonna know it too. 

They're gonna see it. 

Somebody has to 

Speak for These People.

Y'all got on This Boat 

for different reasons, 

but y'all are come to 

The Same Place. 

So now I'm asking more of you 

than I have before. Maybe all. 

'Cause as sure as I know anything 

I know this: 

They Will Try Again. 

Maybe on Another World, 

maybe on this very ground, swept clean. 

A year from now, ten, 

They'll swing back to The Belief that They can make people... better. 

And I do not hold to that.

So no more running. 

I aim to misbehave.

He takes so much looking after.

Jubal Early: 

All right, that's all the hide-and-seek I got time for. I know you're on this ship, little girl, so here's how this goes. 

You show yourself, we finish this exchange, 

or your brother's brains will be flying every which-a-way. 

You understand, I'm sort of on the clock here. It's frustrating.

River: You're wrong, Early.

Jubal Early: 

I'm not wrong, dumpling, 

I will shoot your brother dead if you don't...

River: 

Wrong about River. River's not on The Ship. 

They didn't want her here, 

but she couldn't make herself to leave. 

So she melted. Melted away. 

They didn't know she could do that, but she did.

Jubal Early: I'm not sure I take your meaning there.

River: I'm not on the ship. I'm in the ship. I am the ship.

Simon: River...

River: 

River's gone.

Jubal Early: Then who exactly are we talking to?

River: You're talking to "Serenity." And Early, "Serenity" is very unhappy.

River Tam: 

Permission to come aboard?

Mal: 

You know, you ain't quite right.

River Tam: It's the popular theory.

Mal: Go on, get in there. Give your brother a thrashing for messing up your plan.

River Tam: He takes so much looking after...

Jubal Early: I only hurt people because they keep getting in the way of me finding you. Tell her.

Simon: What am I? Your advocate?

Jubal Early: You are starting now.

Simon: He's really very... gentle... and fuzzy. We're becoming fast friends.

[River laughs] 

Jubal Early: You folks are all insane.

Simon: Well, my sister's a ship. We had a complicated childhood.

River: 

You're not welcome here anymore, Early.

Do you think I'm gonna

leave here empty-handed?

I know it.

Yeah, well, you know me real well.

Wish I didn't.

You like to hurt folk.

It's part of the job.

It's why you took the job.

Power. Control. Pain.

Your Mother knew.

Sadness in her when she waved good-bye.

She's relieved.

Saw Darkness in you.

You're not well.

You'll be wanting to shut up now.

Big golden retriever sitting on the lawn.

Never took to you, smelling you.

The neighbor's pet.

You did things to him.

Cleaned up after.

Shined and polished.

Everything in here gleams.

Well, I'll be a son of a whore.

You're not in my gorram mind.

You're on my gorram ship!

[ Laughing ]

It's very interesting,

all these buttons.

Okay! We're not

touching those, okay?

- How the hell did she get on my ship?

- Put the gun away.

Okay. I'm putting it away.

No, he's not.

I'm putting it away

because we're all reasonable people.

Don't want to be

doing anything rash...

fiddling with any dials.

You're not right, Early.

You're not righteous.

You've got issues.

No. Or yes.

I could have that.

You might have me figured out then.

Good job.

I'm not a hundred percent.

- You talk too much.

- I'm flawed in that way. I sometimes go on.

- It's been said--

- It's okay, Early.

- I'm going with you.

- River, what are you--

Don't belong.

Dangerous like you.

Can't be controlled.

Can't be trusted.

Everyone could just go on without me

and not just have to worry.

People could be

what they wanted to be...

could be with

the people they wanted.

Could live simple.

No secrets.

No.

I'll be fine.

I'll be your bounty, Jubal Early...

and I'll just fade away.

Well, finally something

goes according to--

Simon?

[ Screams ]

See? That's what it feels like.

Just hang tight, darlin'.

Early's on the move.

I know they ordered you to shun me when I left.

“Remember, Shoot The Man, not The Horse — 

Dead Horse is cover; 

Live Horse is a great pile of Panic.”

Mal: 

Well, I just, I... didn't want you thinking that I was taking advantage of your friend.

Inara Serra: 

She's well worth taking advantage of. 

I sincerely hope you did.

Mal: 

So you're okay. 

Well, yeah, 

why-why wouldn't you be...

Inara Serra: 

….I wouldn't say I'm entirely okay. 

I'm a little appalled at her taste.

Inara Serra: 

I learned something from Nandi, 

not just from What Happened, 

but from her. 

The Family she made, 

the strength of her love for them, 

it's what kept them together. 

When you live with that kind of Strength, 

you get tied to it. 

You can't break away, 

and you never want to. 

There's something - there's something I should've done a long while ago. 

And I'm sorry, for both of us, that it took me this long. 

I'm leaving.

Petaline: 

Ranse, This is Jonah. 

Say hi to Your Daddy, Jonah.

[takes a gun from Mal and shoots Ranse point-blank in the forehead] 

Petaline: 

Say Goodbye to Your Daddy, Jonah.

....and when you can't do that, well, yeah — you know the rest...

You know, it's funny.

 We went to The War 

never looking to come back, 

but it's The Real World 

I couldn't survive. 

You two carried me through That War, 

and now I need you to carry me 

just a little bit further, if you can. 

Tell my folks I wanted to do right by them, 

and that I'm at Peace and all. 

When you can't run anymore, you crawl. 

And when you can't do that, well... 

Yeah, you know the rest.

Good Work, Cap’n.

Simon: 

You're in a dangerous line of work, Jayne. 

Odds are you'll be under my knife again, often. 

So I want you to understand one thing very clearly :

 No matter what you do or say or plot, no matter how you come down on us, 

I will never, ever harm you. 

You're on this table, you're safe... 

'cause I'm Your Medic. 

And however little we may like or trust each other, 

we're on the same crew. 

Got the same troubles, 

same enemies, 

and more than enough of both. 

Now, we could circle each other 

and growl, sleep with one eye open, 

but that thought wearies me. 

I don't care what you've done, 

I don't know what you're planning on doing, but I'm trusting you. 

I think you should do the same. 

'Cause I don't see this working any other way.

[exits] 

River: 

Also, I can kill you with My Brain.

Hold Him over The Volcano’s Edge

At the beginning of the Ian Fleming novel,

You Only Live Twice 

James Bond’s wife Tracy has been murdered. 

The Book follows his “rebirth”, 

when he is given a reputedly 

“impossible” mission.

This haikai no renga poem appears in Chapter 11 :

You only live Twice:

Once when you are Born

And once when you 

look Death in The Face.

Niska: 

[sing-songie] 

Mr. Reynolds...

[moans] 

Niska: 

You died, Mr. Reynolds.

Mal: 

Seemed like the thing to do.

Niska: 

When you die, 

I can't hurt you any more. 

And I want two days at least, minimum.

Book: 

Did you ever read the works of Shan Yu?

Simon: 

Shan Yu the psychotic dictator?

Sadistic crap legitimized by florid prose. 

Tell me you're not a fan.

Book: 

Yep. Fancied himself quite The Warrior Poet. 

Wrote volumes on War, Torture, 

The Limits of Human Endurance.

Simon: 

That's nice.

Jayne Cobb: 

I'm smellin' a lotta 'if' comin' off this plan.

Zoë Washburne: 

You could'a stayed in your bunk.

Jayne Cobb: 

Could'a, should'a, would'a.

[cocks rifle] 

Simon: 

Did you do anything today?

River Tam: 

Played with Kaylee. 

The Sun came out, and I walked on my feet 

and heard with my ears. 

I hate the bits, the bits that stay down and I work, 

I f-function like I'm A Girl. 

I hate it because I know it'll go away! 

The Sun grows Dark 

and Chaos has come again. 

It's... fluids. 

What am I?

Simon: 

You are My Beautiful Sister.

River Tam: 

I-I threw up on Your Bed.

Simon: 

Yep. Definitely My Sister.

Make Something Up. Don’t Tell ‘em What I Did.

Mal: 

You called The Feds.

Jayne: 

What? I got pinched!

Mal: 

Which is What HAPPENS 

when you CALL The FEDS.

Jayne: 

No, I would never do that, my hand to God, 

may he strike me down as I'm standing here.

Mal: 

Well, you won't be standing there long.

Jayne: 

What are you taking this so personal for? 

It ain't like I ratted YOU 

out to The Feds!

Mal:

Oh, but you DID. 

You turn on ANY of my crew, 

you turn on ME! 

But since that's a concept 

you can't seem to 

wrap your head around 

then you got no place here! 

You did it to me, Jayne, 

and that's a fact.

You Did it to ME.

We’ll Be Here.

Mal: 

Take Your People and Go.

Captain: 

You would've done the same.

Mal: 

We can already see I haven't. 

Now get the hell off My Ship.

Inara: 

Mal...

Mal: 

You fly smart, don't push too hard, 

shuttle Life Support should last you a good long while.

Inara: 

Mal, this isn't The Ancient Sea. 

You don't have to Go Down with Your Ship.

Mal: 

She ain't going Down. 

She ain't going anywhere.

Just keep walkin’, preacher-man.

Shepherd Book: 

River, you don't fix The Bible.

River: 

It's broken. It doesn't make sense.

Shepherd Book: 

It's not about making sense. 

It's about believing in something, 

and letting that belief 

be Real enough to 

change your life. 

It's about Faith. 

You don't fix Faith, River. 

It fixes you.

Jayne: 

Don't make no sense. 

Wh-Why the hell'd that mudder have to go an do that for, Mal? 

Jumpin' in front a' that shotgun blast. 

Hell, there weren't a one of 'em understood 

what happened out there. 

They're probably stickin' 

that statue right back up.

Mal: 

Most like.

Jayne: 

I don't know why that eats at me so.

Mal: 

It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of him was one kind of sommbitch or another. 

Ain't about you, Jayne. 

It's about what they need.

Jayne: 

Don't make no sense.

See, I married me a POWERFUL ugly creature.

"I would appreciate it if someone on this boat would not assume that I'm an evil lecherous hundan [bastard]." - Mal.

Ain’t We Just.

Jayne is polishing the coins they took off the Grange brothers. Zoe enters.

 

ZOE

Badger just hailed us.

Gettin' impatient for his share. 

Wants us to drop it to his men on the Kowlan Fed Base.

 

JAYNE

That'd be a hell of a lot easier to do

without the two most wanted on board. 

Life would look to be simpler

us not carrying fugies.

 

ZOE

(to Mal)

He is right, you know.

 

MAL

Yeah. Simpler.

 

EXT. HILL FOLK VILLAGE - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

The hill folk have built themselves a post and pyre right quick. 

The Patron is hauling River toward it, intent on burning her witch-ass. 

They tie her to the pole, hands behind her back.

 

SIMON

Take me instead. 

Take My Life for Hers.

 

PATRON

The Witch must die. 

God commands it.

 

The Patron nods at some hill folk with torches. 

They move to light the pyre.

 

SIMON

No! Get away from her!

 

Simon runs forward, pulls the hill folk away from River.

Simon punches both hill folk out.

 

SIMON

She has done nothing to you!

If she dies tonight, it won't be God's will

that killed her, it'll be you!

Your lunacy!

Your ignorance!

 

Seeing he's made no impact on the unchanging sea of faces,

Simon moves back and steps on the platform holding River.

 

STARK

That's not going to stop us, doctor.

 

RIVER

(to Simon)

Post-holer :

Digging holes for posts.

 

Tender moment with Simon gazing up at River's smiling face.

He rises one last step and wraps his arms around River.

 

SIMON

Light it.

 

RIVER.

Time to go.

 

Hold on them for a moment.

Then we hear a RUSHING sound of engines overhead.

SERENITY appears over the clearing where the trial is taking place.

 

The CARGO BAY DOORS open to reveal JAYNE in a harness.

JAYNE cocks VERA and draws a bead on the hill folk.

 

MAL and ZOE enter from the back of the crowd, guns drawn.

They speak loudly to be heard over the engine noise.

 

MAL

Well, look at this!

Appears we got here  just in the nick of time.

 

What does  that make us?

 

ZOE

Big Damn Heroes, sir.

 

MAL

AIN'T - WE - JUST.

 

Sorry to interrupt, folks.

 

Y'all got something that belongs to us 

and we'd like it back.

 

PATRON

This is a holy cleansing.

You cannot  think to thwart God's will.

 

MAL

Y'all see the man hanging out of the spaceship

with the really big gun?

 

Now I'm not saying you weren't easy to find.

 

It was kinda out of our way,

and he didn't want to come in the first place.

 

Man's lookin' to kill some folk.

So really it's his will y'all  should worry about thwarting.

 

(to Simon)

Gotta say, doctor, your talent for alienatin'

folk is near miraculous.

 

SIMON

….yes, I'm very proud.

 

MAL

Cut her down.

 

PATRON

That girl is a witch.

 

MAL

Yeah, but she's our witch.

(cocks gun)

So cut her the hell down.

 

BLACK OUT.

 

INT. SERENITY - SIMON'S ROOM

Close shot of Simon's bed. Someone's dumping a bagful of loot onto it.

It's Jayne, hastily returning his ill-gotten gains.

Jayne darts out of Simon's room into,

INT. SERENITY - CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS

Jayne's beating his retreat when he sees Simon walking past.

 

JAYNE

(looking guilty)

Hey, there, doctor.

Glad you're back now on The Ship.

 

SIMON

Thanks.

 

Simon keeps walking. Jayne bolts up the stairs.

INT. SERENITY - COMMON AREA - CONTINUOUS

Mal is standing outside the infirmary. Simon enters.

 

SIMON

I've moved him to his room.

 

MAL

How's he faring?

 

SIMON

He's gonna be fine. Yeah.

They took  good care of him.

 

MAL

Good to know.

 

SIMON

So finally a decent wound on This Ship,

and I miss out. I'm sorry.

 

MAL

Well, you were busy trying to get yourself

lit on fire. It happens.

 

SIMON

Captain... why did you come back for us?

 

MAL

You're on My Crew.

 

SIMON

Yeah, but you don't even like me.

(beat)

Why'd you come back?

 

MAL

You're on My Crew.

Why we still talking about this?

(walks off, over his shoulder)

Chow's in ten. No need to dress.

 

I Can Not Abide Useless People.

GRAND BALLROOM - PROBABLY NIGHT

KAYLEE 

(watching the dancing, to a young gentleman

standing on the edge of the dance floor)

Aren't they something. They're like butterflies,

or little pieces of wrapping paper blowing around.

The young gentleman bows and walks off, leaving Kaylee. She looks a little sad, bur rallies and walks over to a group of women.

KAYLEE

Hello.

BANNING

I don't.. um... have we been introduced?

KAYLEE 

(shaking hands with first woman)

Oh, I'm Kaylee.

BANNING

Banning. And this is Destra, Cabott and Zelle.

KAYLEE

(gushing)

Don't you just love this party? Everything's so

fancy, and there's some kind of hot cheese over there.

CABOTT

It's not as good as last year.

KAYLEE

Oh really? What'd they have last year?

CABOTT

Standards.

Kaylee looks crestfallen.

BANNING

Who made your dress, Kaylee?

KAYLEE

Oh, do you like it? When I saw the ruffles, 

I just couldn't resist.

BANNING

You ought to see to your girl.

KAYLEE

[Shah muh? - "What?"]

BANNING

Your girl. She's not very good. She made you a

dress that looks like you bought it in a store.

KAYLEE

Oh, I didn't know.

An older gentleman has obviously overheard this exchange, and walks to Kaylee's side.

MURPHY

Why Banning Miller. What a vision you are in your

fine dress. It must have taken a dozen slaves a 

dozen days to get you into that getup.

(Banning preens)

'Course your daddy tells me it takes the space of

a schoolboy's wink to get you out of it again.

Banning gets huffy and stalks off, followed by the other women. Kaylee looks surprised and delighted.

MURPHY

Forgive my rudeness. I cannot abide useless people.

Mal and Inara dancing, while Atherton looks on with a glare. Mal missteps the dance, and Inara and Mal both chuckle.

MAL

It's possible you were right, and this ain't my

kind of party.

They are comfortable with each other, laughing and smiling. Atherton barges in and roughly grabs Inara's arm and pulls her away from the dance floor.

MAL

Whoa now. Watch yourself. Ain't no need for hands on.

ATHERTON

Excuse me, she's not here with you, Captain. She's mine.

MAL

Yours? She don't belong to nobody.

ATHERTON

Money changed hands, which makes her mine tonight.

And no matter how you dress her up she's still...

Mal hauls off and slugs him before he can get the rest of the sentence out.

MAL 

(to Inara)

Turns out this is my kind of party.

INARA

Oh, Mal.

MAL

What? Man was out of line.

ATHERTON

(recovering, angry)

I accept.

MAL

That's great. What?

GENTLEMAN

There has been a challenge.

ATHERTON

I hope you're prepared, Captain.

MAL

What? You all talking about a fight? That's fine.

(taking off his jacket)

Let's get out of here.

INARA

It's not a fist fight, Mal.

GENTLEMAN

The duel will be met tomorrow morning at Cadrie Pond.

MAL

Well, why wait? Where's that guard? He collected

a whole mess of pistols.

GENTLEMAN

If you require it, any gentleman here can give you

use of a sword.

MAL

Use of a swo... what?

END OF ACT TWO

ACT THREE

INT. GRAND BALLROOM - NIGHT

Back where we left off, Mal in hot water:

KAYLEE

What's going on?

MAL

I'm not rightly sure. What's going on?

HARROW

First off, you'll be put up in lodgings for the night,

so you don't disappear. I wouldn't blame you,

incidentally. Wing may be a spoiled dandy, but he's

an expert swordsman. He's killed a dozen men with a

longblade. You're the only one gave him a reason.

MAL

(exasperated)

Oh this is a joke.

INARA

He'll need a second.

MAL

What's that?

HARROW

I'll take on the job.

INARA

He fights if you refuse.

ATHERTON

(moving towards the entranceway)

Inara, come with me, please.

MAL 

(to Harrow)

You taking on this job... being my second...

does this mean we're in business?

HARROW

It means you're in mortal danger. But you mussed

up Atherton's face, and that has endeared you to me

somewhat. You might even give him a fight, before

he guts you.

ATHERTON 

(sharply)

Inara! 

(holds out his arm to Inara)

KAYLEE

Up until the punching, it was a real nice party.