Showing posts with label COMEDY. Show all posts
Showing posts with label COMEDY. Show all posts

Saturday 6 February 2021

The Man Who Has Never Even Wanted to Kneel or to Bow - is a Prosaic Barbarian

 



“So I heard that you were going to propose to Brandi Svenning at some theme park — When are Men going to learn that women want romance, not Mr. Toad's Wild Ride?”
 
“Hey, now, be fair — EVERYONE wants Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.”
 
 




“ When Equality is treated not as a medicine or a safety-gadget, but as an ideal, we begin to breed that stunted and envious sort of mind which hates all Superiority. 

That mind is the special disease of democracy, as cruelty and servility are the special diseases of privileged societies. 

It will kill us all if it grows unchecked. 

The man who cannot conceive a joyful and loyal obedience on the one hand, nor an unembarrassed and noble acceptance of that obedience on the other - the man who has never even wanted to kneel or to bow - is a prosaic barbarian. 

But it would be wicked folly to restore these old inequalities on the legal or external plane. Their proper place is elsewhere.
 
We must wear clothes since the Fall. Yes, but inside, under what Milton called "these troublesome disguises". We want the naked body, that is, the real body, to be alive. 

We want it, on proper occasions, to appear -- in the marriage-chamber, in the public privacy of a men's bathing-place, and (of course) when any medical or other emergency demands. 

In the same way, under the necessary outer covering of legal equality, the whole hierarchical dance and harmony of our deep and joyously accepted spiritual inequalities should be alive. 

It is there, of course, in our life as Christians -- there, as laymen, we can obey – all the more because the priest has no authority over us on the political level. 

It is there in our relation to parents and teachers – all the more because it is now a willed and wholly spiritual reverence. It should be there also in marriage.
 
This last point needs a little plain speaking. 

Men have so horribly abused their power over women in the past that to wives, of all people, Equality is in danger of appearing as an ideal. 

But Mrs. Naomi Mitchison has laid her finger on the real point. Have as much equality as you please – the more the better – in our marriage laws, but at some level consent to inequality, nay, delight in inequality, is an erotic necessity

Mrs. Mitchison speaks of women so fostered on a defiant idea of equality that the mere sensation of the male embrace rouses an undercurrent of resentment. 

Marriages are thus shipwrecked. 

This is the tragi-comedy of the modem woman -- taught by Freud to consider The Act of Move the most important thing in life, and then inhibited by Feminism from that internal surrender which alone can make it a complete emotional success. Merely for the sake of her own erotic pleasure, to go no further, some degree of Obedience and Humility seems to be (normally) necessary on the woman's part.
 
– C.S. Lewis
 
 
 
Paglia: What I’m worried about also, in this age of Social Media. . . I’ve noticed that as a teacher in the classroom that the young people are so used to communicating now by cellphone, by iPhone, that they’re losing body language and facial expressions, which I think is going to compound the problem with these dating encounters — 
 
Because the ability to read the human face and to read little tiny inflections of emotion. . . 
 
I think my generation got that from looking at great foreign films with their long takes. 
 
So you’d have Jeanne Moreau and Catherine Deneuve in like potential romantic encounters, and you could see the tiniest little inflections that signal communication or sexual readiness or irony or skepticism or distance or whatever.
 
The inability to read other people’s intentions. . . I think this is going to be a disaster. I just notice how year by year the students are becoming much more flat affect. 
 
And they themselves complain that they’ll sit in the same room with someone and be texting to
each other.
 
Peterson: Yeah, well there’s a piece of evidence, too, that supports that to some
degree. Women with brothers are less likely to get raped. And the reason for that is that they’ve learned that nonverbal language deeply.
 
Paglia: Not only that but I have noticed in my career that women who have many brothers are very good as administrators and as business people, because they don’t
take men seriously. 
 
They saw their brothers. 
 
They think their brothers are JOKES! But they know how to CONTROL men, while they still LIKE men — They ADMIRE men. 
 
This is something I have seen repeatedly.
 
Peterson: So that would be also reflective of the problem of fewer and fewer siblings.
 
Paglia: Yes, that’s right. I’ve noticed this in publishing. 
 
The women who have the job of publicist and rise to the top as manager of publicity - their ability to take charge of men
and their humor with men. 
 
They have great relationships with men, because they don’t
have a sense of resentment and worry and anxiety. 
 
They don’t see men as aggressors.
 
 
And I think that’s another thing, too. As feminism moved into its present system of ideology it has tended to denigrate motherhood as a lesser order of human experience, and to enshrine of course abortion. 
 
Now I am a hundred percent for abortion rights. I belonged to Planned Parenthood for years until I finally rejected it as a branch of the Democratic Party, my own party —
 
But as motherhood became excluded, as feminism became obsessed with the
professional woman, I feel that the lessons that mothers learn have been lost to feminism. 
 
The mothers who bear boy children understand the FRAGILITY of men, the
FRAGILITY of boys. 
 
They understand it. 
 
They don’t see boys and men as a menace. 
 
They understand the greater strength of women.
 
So there’s this tenderness and connectedness between the mother and the boy child when motherhood is part of the experience of women who are discussing gender. 
 
Sowhat we have today is that this gender ideology has risen up on campuses where all. . . 
 
None of the girls, none of the students have married. 
 
None of them have had children.
 
And you have women, some of whom have had children. . . But a lot of them are like
lesbians or like professional women and so on.
 
So this whole tenderness and forgivingness and encouragement that women do to
boys. . . 
 
This hypersensitivity of boys is not understood. 
 
Instead, boys are seen as
somehow more privileged. 
 
And somehow their energy level is interpreted as aggression, potential violence, and so on. 
 
We would do better if would have. . . I have proposed
that colleges should allow. . . The moment a woman has entered, she has entered that
college for life and that she should be free to leave to have babies when her body wants
that baby, when it’s healthy to have them. And then return, have the occasional course,
and build up credits. And fathers might be able to do it as well.
To get married women and women with children into the classroom. The moment that
happens, as happened after Word War II where you had a lot of married guys in the
classroom. . . Not that many women. The experience of a married person with a family
talking about gender. . . Most of the gender stuff would be laughed out of the room if
you had a real mother in there who had experienced childbirth and was raising boys.
So I think that’s also something that has led to this incredible artificiality and hysteria of
feminist rhetoric.
Peterson: There’s another strange element to that, which is that on the one hand the
radical feminist types, the neo-Marxists, postmodernists, are very much opposed to the
patriarchy, let’s say, and that’s that uni-dimensional, ideological representation of our
culture.
Paglia: That has never existed. Perhaps the word could be applied to Republican
Rome and that’s it.
Peterson: Maybe it could be applied usefully to certain kinds of tyranny, but not to a
society that’s actually functional.
Paglia: Victoria England, arguably. But other than that, to use the word ‘patriarchy’ in a
slapdash way, so amateurish. It just shows people know nothing about history whatever,
have done no reading.
31
 
Peterson:

Tuesday 1 December 2020

Art, Myth and Fan-Fiction — Why Does It Exist?






This is fundamentally the difference between Art, Myth and Fan-fiction — Why Does It Exist?


Myths more or less write themselves (like the Legendary Luke Skywalker, who undergoes a Transfiguration in The Last Jedi by dying, and thus goes from being a merely Legendary Figure (as well as being a real man), to being a Mythic and Mythological Hero — Because the qualifying requirement for Hero status, ever since the earliest epics and sagas of the Ancient World is that you have to DEAD.


You have to be dead, and have a tomb that pilgrims can venerate when they journey to visit your gravesite — which is why William Shatner’s egoistic desire to resurrect Kirk’s corpse from it’s lonely unmarked resting place on Veridian III was such utter misguided folly.


That’s also why Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker vanish when they die, their heroic deaths achieving an act of Herculean, Quasi-Arthurian Apotheosis, eternally unifying their mortal existence with the heroic legend.


It’s also why Vikings, Hindus and countless other tribal cultures believe the highest honour that can be afforded to a fallen warrior king is to raise him up toward heaven, in both body and in spirit, atop a mighty funeral pyre — just as Hercules did, when ascending to Olympus.


But with anything below Myth, in the realm of ordinary storytelling, you have to justify each narrative development, every creative decision in terms of why it is happening to your characters —


Why Is This Happening to Them?


• What Purpose Does This Incident in the Lives of Your Characters Serve in Advancing their Journey Along Their Respective Paths?


• Why Do I (as The Storyteller) Feel The Need to Tell it?


And the answer should NEVER be “Because I want to Tell it.” — which is ultimately the fundamental motivation behind ALL FanFic / Shipping / SlashFiction.


If it exists, solely or primarily owing to the fan-author’s personal, selfish reasons, not only are you doing a disservice and are perpetrating an abuse of the characters and the world you claim to love so much, you are doing so to the injurious cost of the needs of The Story itself — the Marxist social historian 



Kevin Smith Tells The Story of a moment in time, back in the late-90s, during The SuperHero Dark Ages, before The MCU, when he was given a meeting  at Warner Bros., where he was offered the opportunity to develop a screenplay for one of the following two, front-line major marquee showcase A-List projects then-in-development — Either :


Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian


OR


Superman 5, aka Superman Lives.


Kev’s reply to the first project was spot-on in his contemptuous scornful dismissal : 


“Didn’t We Say Everything That Needed to Be Said with The First Beetlejuice...? I mean, must we go tropical....?”


And of course, he is entirely right - the ‘creative’ ethos and rationale driving the decision to make the thing is exactly the same one at play with every other awful, soul-less half-assed rehash of a zany, madcap breakout hit fish-out of Water comedy flick of that era — Crocodile Dundee / The Mask / Home Alone / Ace Ventura : Pet Detective Made $200+ Million, so let’s make another one, but this time, with a completely different setting or situational circumstance to drive generate incidents, move the plot forward and make it SEEM new and different and fresh (even though it isn’t), usually by just reversing everything that the characters went through in the first movie (and thus undoing all of their character development by negating their character arc from the first one.



Which is why, with perhaps the sole exception of the second Addams Family movie, those quicky studio comedies were almost uniformly and without exception, TERRIBLE.... even Ghostbusters 2 is deeply mediocre.

Wednesday 27 November 2019

Laughter is Infectious




 
You've heard of the placebo effect.
But are you aware of the nocebo effect? 
 
 
In which the human body has a negative physical reaction to a suggested harm.
 
This will make you vomit.
This will make you vomit.
This will make you vomit.
 
 Your mind has the power to create its own physical reality.



This will make you vomit.
 


[VOMITING]
[CHEERING IN DISTANCE.]
 



Why do we yawn when we see others yawn? 
 
Throughout history, there have been incidents.
 
The Dancing Plague of 1518 
 
The Tanganyika laughter epidemic.
 
The Hindu milk miracle.
 
Psychologists call it 
conversion disorder.
 


In that the body converts a mental stress to a set of physical symptoms.
 
In this case, a tic, or spasm.
 
And, like any disorder, it can be contagious.
 
This kind of collective behavior is not limited to human beings.
 
What we know is that, in certain communities, under specific circumstances, an involuntary physical symptom developed by one person can become viral.
 
 
And spread, from person to person until the entire community is infected.
 
And so, my question to you is, if the idea of illness can become illness, what else about our reality is actually a disorder? 
 
  



 
ANIMATION: 
Cartoon sequence of animated Victorian photos, at the end of which a large pig descends, fatally, on a portrait of a man.
 
Cut to wartime planning room. Two officers are pushing model pigs across the map. A private enters and salutes.
 
Private
Dobson's bought it, sir.
 
 
Officer
Porker, eh?
Swine.
 
Cut to a suburban house in a rather drab street. 
Zoom into upstairs window. 
Serious documentary music. 
 
Interior of a small room. 
A bent figure (Michael) huddles over a table, writing. 
He is surrounded by bits of paper. 
The camera is situated facing the man as he writes with immense concentration lining his unshaven face.
 
 
Voice Over
This man is Ernest Scribbler... writer of jokes. 
In a few moments, he will have written the funniest joke in The World... and, as a consequence, he will die ... laughing.
 
Ernest stops writing, pauses to look at what he has written... a smile slowly spreads across his face, turning very, very slowly to uncontrolled hysterical laughter... he staggers to his feet and reels across room helpless with mounting mirth and eventually collapses and dies on the floor.
 
Voice Over
It was obvious that this joke was lethal... no one could read it and live ...
 
 
 
 
 
The scribbler's mother (Eric) enters. 
She sees him dead, she gives a little cry of horror and bends over his body, weeping. 
 
Brokenly she notices the piece of paper in his hand and (thinking it is a suicide note - for he has not been doing well for the last thirteen years) picks it up and reads it between her sobs. 
 
Immediately she breaks out into hysterical laughter, leaps three feet into the air, and falls down dead without more ado. 
 
Cut to news type shot of commentator standing in front of the house.
 
Commentator (reverentially) 
This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. 
 
Sudden ...violent ... comedy. 
 
Police have sealed off the area, and Scotland Yard's crack inspector is with me now.
 
Inspector
I shall enter the house and attempt to remove The Joke.
 
At this point an upstairs window in the house is flung open and a doctor, with stetoscope, rears his head out, hysterical with laughter, and dies hanging over the window sill. 
 
The commentator and the inspector look up briefly and sadly,
and then continue as if they are used to such sights this morning.
 
Inspector
I shall be aided by the sound of sombre music, played on gramophone records,
and also by the chanting of laments by the men of Q Division ... 
 
(he indicates a little knot of dour-looking policemen standing nearby
 
The atmosphere thus created should protect me in the eventuality of me reading the joke.
 
 
He gives a signal. 
The group of policemen start groaning and chanting biblical laments. 
The Dead March is heard. 
The inspector squares his shoulders and bravely starts walking into the house.
 
Commentator
There goes a brave man.
Whether he comes out alive or not,
this will surely be remembered as one of the most courageous
and gallant acts in police history.
 
 
The inspector suddenly appears at the door, helpless with laughter, holding the joke aloft. He collapses and dies. 
 
Cut to film of army vans driving along dark roads.
 
Voice Over
It was not long before the Army became interested in the military potential of the Killer Joke. 
 
Under top security, The Joke was hurried to a meeting of Allied Commanders at the Ministry of War.
 
Cut to door at Ham House:
Soldier on guard comes to attention as dispatch rider hurries in carrying armoured box. 
 
(Notice on door: 'Conference. No Admittance'.) 
 
Dispatch nider rushes in. 
A door opens for him and closes behind him. 
We hear a mighty roar of laughter....
series of doomphs as the commanders hit the floor or table. 
Soldier outside does not move a muscle.
 
Cut to a pillbox on the Salisbury Plain.
Track in to slit to see moustachioed top brass peering anxiously out.
 
Voice Over
Top brass were impressed. 
Tests on Salisbury Plain confirmed The Joke's devastating effectiveness at a range of up to fifty yards.
 
 
 
Cut to shot looking out of slit in pillbox. 
Zoom through slit to distance where a solitary figure is standing on the windswept plain. 
 
He is a bespectacled, weedy lance-corporal (Terry Jones) looking cold and miserable. 
 
Pan across to fifty yards away where two helmeted soldiers are at their positions beside a blackboard on an easel covered with a cloth.
 
Cut in to corporal's face -
registening complete lack of comprehension as well as stupidity. 
 
Man on top of pillbox waves flag.
The soldiers reveal the joke to the corporal. 
He peers at it, thinks about its meaning, sniggers, and dies. 
 
Two watching generals are very impressed.
 
Generals
Fantastic.
 
 
Cut to a Colonel talking to camera.
 
Colonel
All through the winter of '43 we had translators working, in joke-proof conditions, to try and produce a German version of The Joke.
 
They worked on one word each for greater safety.
 
One of them saw two words of the joke and spent several weeks in hospital.
 
But apart from that things went pretty quickly, and we soon had The Joke by January,
in a form which our troops couldn't understand but which the Germans could.
 
Cut to a trench in the Ardennes.
Members of the joke brigade are crouched holding pieces of paper with the joke on them.
 
Voice Over
So, on July 8th, 1944, the joke was first told to the enemy in the Ardennes...
 
Commanding NCO
Squad! Tell The ... Joke.
 
Joke Brigade (together)
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer?
Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
 
Pan out of the British trench across war-torn landscape and come to rest where presumably the German trench is.
There is a pause and then a group of Germans rear up in hysterics.
 
Voice Over
It was a fantastic success.
Over sixty thousand times as powerful as Britain's great pre-war joke ...
 
Cut to a film of Chamberlain brandishing the 'Peace in our time' bit of paper.
 
Voice Over
...and one which Hitler just couldn't match.
 
Film of Hitler rally.
Hitler speaks; subtitles are superimposed. 
 
SUBTITLE
'MY DOG'S GOT NO NOSE'
 
A young soldier responds:
SUBTITLE:
HOW DOES HE SMELL?
 
Hitler speaks:
SUBTITLE:
AWFUL
 
Voice Over
In action it was deadly.
 
Cut to a small squad with rifles making their way through forest.
Suddenly one of them (a member of the joke squad) sees something and gives signal at which they all dive for cover.
From the cover of a tree he reads out Joke.
 
Joke Corporal
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer?
Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
 
Sniper falls laughing out of tree.
 
Joke Brigade (charging)
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer?
Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
 
They chant the joke.
Germans are put to flight laughing, some dropping to ground.
 
Voice Over
The German casualties were appalling.
 
Cut to a German hospital and a ward full of casualties still laughing hysterically.
 
Cut to Nazi interrogation room.
An officer from the joke brigade has a light shining in his face.
A Gestapo officer is interrogating him;
another (clearly labelled 'A Gestapo Officer') stands behind him.
 
Nazi
Vott is the big joke?
 
Officer
I can only give you name, rank, and why did the chicken cross the road?
 
Nazi
That's not funny!
(slaps him)
I vant to know the joke.
 
 
Officer
All right. How do you make a Nazi cross?
 
Nazi (momentarily fooled)
I don't know ... how do you make a Nazi cross?
 
Officer
Tread on his corns.
(does so; the Nazi hops in pain)
 
Nazi
Gott in Himmel!
That's not funny!
(mimes cuffing him while the other Nazi claps his hands to provide the sound effect)
Now if you don't tell me the joke, I shall hit you properly.
 
Officer
I can stand physical pain, you know.
 
Nazi
Ah ... you're no fun.
All right, Otto.
 
Otto (Graham) starts tickling the officer who starts laughing.
 
Officer
Oh no - anything but that please no, all right I'll tell you.
 
They stop.
 
Nazi
Quick Otto.
The typewriter.
 
Otto goes to the typewriter and they wait expectantly.
The officer produces piece of paper out of his breast pocket and reads.
 
Officer
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja!
... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
 
Otto at the typewriter explodes with laughter and dies.
 
Nazi
Ach! Zat iss not funny!
 
Bursts into laughter and dies.
A guard (Terry G) bursts in with machine gun, The British officer leaps on the table.
 
Officer (lightning speed)
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer?
Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
 
The guard reels back and collapses laughing.
British officer makes his escape.
 
Cut to stock film of German scientists working in laboratories.
Voice Over
But at Peenemunde in the Autumn of '44, the Germans were working on a joke of their own.
 
Cut to interior.
A German general (Terry J) is seated at an imposing desk.
Behind him stands Otto, labelled 'A Different Gestapo Officer'.
Bespectacled German scientist/joke writer enters room.
He clean his throat and reads from card.
 
German Joker
Die ist ein Kinnerhunder und zwei Mackel über und der bitte schön ist den Wunderhaus sprechensie.
'Nein' sprecht der Herren 'Ist aufern borger mit zveitingen'.
 
He finishes and looks hopeful.
 
Otto
We let you know.
 
He shoots him.
More stock film of German scientists.
 
Voice Over
But by December their joke was ready,
and Hitler gave the order for the German V-Joke to be broadcast in English.
 
Cut to 1940's wartime radio set with couple anxiously listening to it.
 
Radio (crackly German voice)
Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse,
and von vas... assaulted! peanut. Ho-ho-ho-ho.
 
Radio bursts into 'Deutschland Ãœber Alles'.
The couple look at each other and then in blank amazement at the radio.
 
Cut to modern BBC 2 interview.
The commentator in a woodland glade.
 
Commentator
In 1945 Peace broke out.
It was the end of The Joke.
Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention,
and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.
 
He walks away revealing a monument on which is written:
'To the unknown Joke'.
Camera pulls away slowly through idyllic setting.
Patriotic music reaches cresendo.
 
Cut to football referee who blows whistle.
Silence. Blank screen.
CAPTION:
'THE END'
 
The seashore again, with the 'It's' man lying on the beach.






















Wednesday 30 October 2019

Banish with Laughter





















It Has Often Been Said That All Comedy is Rooted in Fear –





–  The Things That Make Us Laugh are VERY Closely to The Things Frighten Us


Friday 25 October 2019

Fine.







It Has Often Been Said That All Comedy is Rooted in Fear –


–  The Things That Make Us Laugh are VERY Closely to The Things Frighten Us



Godmother :
Sorry, but whoever had a miscarriage, could you take it to the kitchen, please? 

Claire :
No! Don't follow me, Jake.
Oh, and this is over.
You're leaving me.

Martin The Hobgoblin :
No, no, no.

Claire :
Yes! 

Martin The Hobgoblin :
Are you drunk? 

Claire :
Yes.
Are you sober? 


Martin The Hobgoblin :
A bit.
Could you just fuck off? 

Fleabag :
Oh, absolutely not! 

Martin The Hobgoblin :
Okay, no, no.

Fleabag :
I'm staying right here.

Claire :
[EXHALES.]
I want you to leave me.

Martin The Hobgoblin :
Listen to me, I just, I have I think 

Fleabag’s Emotional Support Inner-Monologue:
( he has a little speech.  )

Martin The Hobgoblin :
I have a little speech that's building here.
Now, I know you look at me and you see a bad man with a big beard.

Claire :
You are an alcoholic and you tried it on with my sister.


Martin The Hobgoblin :
Fine.
I tried to kiss your sister on her birthday.


Claire :
My birthday! 

Martin The Hobgoblin :
Fine! 
I mix up birthdays and I have an alcohol problem, just like everyone else in this fucking country.

But I am here and I do things.

I pick up Jake up from shit, 
I make dessert for Easter, 
I organise the downstairs toilet, 
I fired the humming cleaner.

Claire :
You enjoyed that.

Martin The Hobgoblin :
I hoover the car.
I put up all your certificates 
and 
I don't make you feel guilty for not having sex with me.

I am not a bad guy! 
I just have a bad personality, it's not my fault.

Some people are born with fucked personalities.

Look at Jake.
He is so creepy, it's not his fault! 

Why the bassoon!? 
You want to know what the bassoon is!? 

It's a cry for help! 

The main fucking problem here is that you don't like me.

And that has been breaking my fucking heart for 11 years.

I love you.

I make you laugh.
I'm a douche, but I make you laugh.

You said that that was the most important thing! 

I think the thing that you hate the most about yourself is that you actually love me.

So, I am not going to leave you, until you are down on your knees begging me.

Claire :
Please, leave me.

Martin The Hobgoblin :
Oh, man.

I didn't think you'd do that in that dress.

Right.

Well I guess the only thing left for me to say is — 
Fuck You.

Fleabag :
Fuck You.


“Asking someone to mentor you, as I have said, is a simultaneous acknowledgement of vulnerability and admiration, and even in the most secular and occidental context bears a trace of Yogananda’s euphoric sincerity.

No one wants to be rejected by someone they admire and who knows they’re vulnerable. 

But after my holiday my old method of redemption through love was still giving me a good battering. 
If you’d asked me at the time what the problem was, I would have instantly blamed the woman I was going out with. 
Now I know the problem was my unreasonable, unconscious requirements.

I asked Jimmy for help, he agreed to help me. 
I told him about the melee that was my relationship and he was always able to ‘hold it’. 

Meaning that my problems never fazed him – the last thing you need when opening up your heart is for the person you’ve appointed to blanch or gag. 

He pointedly never offers unsolicited advice, instead meeting my enquiries with his own experience. 

There is a great power in this.”

Excerpt From
Mentors
by Russell Brand.


Switch :
How are you? 

LEGION:
Good. I'm good.

How are you? 

Switch :
You know.
Fine.

• LONG PAUSE•

My Dad collects Robots.
Robotto.
There's a room in our apartment.

Some are life-sized.
Some toys.
Hundreds.

Sometimes at night, I go in there.
I stand very still, and pretend I'm a Robot, too.