Showing posts with label COMEDY. Show all posts
Showing posts with label COMEDY. Show all posts

Wednesday, 27 November 2019

Laughter is Infectious




 
You've heard of the placebo effect.
But are you aware of the nocebo effect? 
 
 
In which the human body has a negative physical reaction to a suggested harm.
 
This will make you vomit.
This will make you vomit.
This will make you vomit.
 
 Your mind has the power to create its own physical reality.



This will make you vomit.
 


[VOMITING]
[CHEERING IN DISTANCE.]
 



Why do we yawn when we see others yawn? 
 
Throughout history, there have been incidents.
 
The Dancing Plague of 1518 
 
The Tanganyika laughter epidemic.
 
The Hindu milk miracle.
 
Psychologists call it 
conversion disorder.
 


In that the body converts a mental stress to a set of physical symptoms.
 
In this case, a tic, or spasm.
 
And, like any disorder, it can be contagious.
 
This kind of collective behavior is not limited to human beings.
 
What we know is that, in certain communities, under specific circumstances, an involuntary physical symptom developed by one person can become viral.
 
 
And spread, from person to person until the entire community is infected.
 
And so, my question to you is, if the idea of illness can become illness, what else about our reality is actually a disorder? 
 
  



 
ANIMATION: 
Cartoon sequence of animated Victorian photos, at the end of which a large pig descends, fatally, on a portrait of a man.
 
Cut to wartime planning room. Two officers are pushing model pigs across the map. A private enters and salutes.
 
Private
Dobson's bought it, sir.
 
 
Officer
Porker, eh?
Swine.
 
Cut to a suburban house in a rather drab street. 
Zoom into upstairs window. 
Serious documentary music. 
 
Interior of a small room. 
A bent figure (Michael) huddles over a table, writing. 
He is surrounded by bits of paper. 
The camera is situated facing the man as he writes with immense concentration lining his unshaven face.
 
 
Voice Over
This man is Ernest Scribbler... writer of jokes. 
In a few moments, he will have written the funniest joke in The World... and, as a consequence, he will die ... laughing.
 
Ernest stops writing, pauses to look at what he has written... a smile slowly spreads across his face, turning very, very slowly to uncontrolled hysterical laughter... he staggers to his feet and reels across room helpless with mounting mirth and eventually collapses and dies on the floor.
 
Voice Over
It was obvious that this joke was lethal... no one could read it and live ...
 
 
 
 
 
The scribbler's mother (Eric) enters. 
She sees him dead, she gives a little cry of horror and bends over his body, weeping. 
 
Brokenly she notices the piece of paper in his hand and (thinking it is a suicide note - for he has not been doing well for the last thirteen years) picks it up and reads it between her sobs. 
 
Immediately she breaks out into hysterical laughter, leaps three feet into the air, and falls down dead without more ado. 
 
Cut to news type shot of commentator standing in front of the house.
 
Commentator (reverentially) 
This morning, shortly after eleven o'clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibley Road. 
 
Sudden ...violent ... comedy. 
 
Police have sealed off the area, and Scotland Yard's crack inspector is with me now.
 
Inspector
I shall enter the house and attempt to remove The Joke.
 
At this point an upstairs window in the house is flung open and a doctor, with stetoscope, rears his head out, hysterical with laughter, and dies hanging over the window sill. 
 
The commentator and the inspector look up briefly and sadly,
and then continue as if they are used to such sights this morning.
 
Inspector
I shall be aided by the sound of sombre music, played on gramophone records,
and also by the chanting of laments by the men of Q Division ... 
 
(he indicates a little knot of dour-looking policemen standing nearby
 
The atmosphere thus created should protect me in the eventuality of me reading the joke.
 
 
He gives a signal. 
The group of policemen start groaning and chanting biblical laments. 
The Dead March is heard. 
The inspector squares his shoulders and bravely starts walking into the house.
 
Commentator
There goes a brave man.
Whether he comes out alive or not,
this will surely be remembered as one of the most courageous
and gallant acts in police history.
 
 
The inspector suddenly appears at the door, helpless with laughter, holding the joke aloft. He collapses and dies. 
 
Cut to film of army vans driving along dark roads.
 
Voice Over
It was not long before the Army became interested in the military potential of the Killer Joke. 
 
Under top security, The Joke was hurried to a meeting of Allied Commanders at the Ministry of War.
 
Cut to door at Ham House:
Soldier on guard comes to attention as dispatch rider hurries in carrying armoured box. 
 
(Notice on door: 'Conference. No Admittance'.) 
 
Dispatch nider rushes in. 
A door opens for him and closes behind him. 
We hear a mighty roar of laughter....
series of doomphs as the commanders hit the floor or table. 
Soldier outside does not move a muscle.
 
Cut to a pillbox on the Salisbury Plain.
Track in to slit to see moustachioed top brass peering anxiously out.
 
Voice Over
Top brass were impressed. 
Tests on Salisbury Plain confirmed The Joke's devastating effectiveness at a range of up to fifty yards.
 
 
 
Cut to shot looking out of slit in pillbox. 
Zoom through slit to distance where a solitary figure is standing on the windswept plain. 
 
He is a bespectacled, weedy lance-corporal (Terry Jones) looking cold and miserable. 
 
Pan across to fifty yards away where two helmeted soldiers are at their positions beside a blackboard on an easel covered with a cloth.
 
Cut in to corporal's face -
registening complete lack of comprehension as well as stupidity. 
 
Man on top of pillbox waves flag.
The soldiers reveal the joke to the corporal. 
He peers at it, thinks about its meaning, sniggers, and dies. 
 
Two watching generals are very impressed.
 
Generals
Fantastic.
 
 
Cut to a Colonel talking to camera.
 
Colonel
All through the winter of '43 we had translators working, in joke-proof conditions, to try and produce a German version of The Joke.
 
They worked on one word each for greater safety.
 
One of them saw two words of the joke and spent several weeks in hospital.
 
But apart from that things went pretty quickly, and we soon had The Joke by January,
in a form which our troops couldn't understand but which the Germans could.
 
Cut to a trench in the Ardennes.
Members of the joke brigade are crouched holding pieces of paper with the joke on them.
 
Voice Over
So, on July 8th, 1944, the joke was first told to the enemy in the Ardennes...
 
Commanding NCO
Squad! Tell The ... Joke.
 
Joke Brigade (together)
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer?
Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
 
Pan out of the British trench across war-torn landscape and come to rest where presumably the German trench is.
There is a pause and then a group of Germans rear up in hysterics.
 
Voice Over
It was a fantastic success.
Over sixty thousand times as powerful as Britain's great pre-war joke ...
 
Cut to a film of Chamberlain brandishing the 'Peace in our time' bit of paper.
 
Voice Over
...and one which Hitler just couldn't match.
 
Film of Hitler rally.
Hitler speaks; subtitles are superimposed. 
 
SUBTITLE
'MY DOG'S GOT NO NOSE'
 
A young soldier responds:
SUBTITLE:
HOW DOES HE SMELL?
 
Hitler speaks:
SUBTITLE:
AWFUL
 
Voice Over
In action it was deadly.
 
Cut to a small squad with rifles making their way through forest.
Suddenly one of them (a member of the joke squad) sees something and gives signal at which they all dive for cover.
From the cover of a tree he reads out Joke.
 
Joke Corporal
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer?
Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
 
Sniper falls laughing out of tree.
 
Joke Brigade (charging)
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer?
Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
 
They chant the joke.
Germans are put to flight laughing, some dropping to ground.
 
Voice Over
The German casualties were appalling.
 
Cut to a German hospital and a ward full of casualties still laughing hysterically.
 
Cut to Nazi interrogation room.
An officer from the joke brigade has a light shining in his face.
A Gestapo officer is interrogating him;
another (clearly labelled 'A Gestapo Officer') stands behind him.
 
Nazi
Vott is the big joke?
 
Officer
I can only give you name, rank, and why did the chicken cross the road?
 
Nazi
That's not funny!
(slaps him)
I vant to know the joke.
 
 
Officer
All right. How do you make a Nazi cross?
 
Nazi (momentarily fooled)
I don't know ... how do you make a Nazi cross?
 
Officer
Tread on his corns.
(does so; the Nazi hops in pain)
 
Nazi
Gott in Himmel!
That's not funny!
(mimes cuffing him while the other Nazi claps his hands to provide the sound effect)
Now if you don't tell me the joke, I shall hit you properly.
 
Officer
I can stand physical pain, you know.
 
Nazi
Ah ... you're no fun.
All right, Otto.
 
Otto (Graham) starts tickling the officer who starts laughing.
 
Officer
Oh no - anything but that please no, all right I'll tell you.
 
They stop.
 
Nazi
Quick Otto.
The typewriter.
 
Otto goes to the typewriter and they wait expectantly.
The officer produces piece of paper out of his breast pocket and reads.
 
Officer
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja!
... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
 
Otto at the typewriter explodes with laughter and dies.
 
Nazi
Ach! Zat iss not funny!
 
Bursts into laughter and dies.
A guard (Terry G) bursts in with machine gun, The British officer leaps on the table.
 
Officer (lightning speed)
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer?
Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
 
The guard reels back and collapses laughing.
British officer makes his escape.
 
Cut to stock film of German scientists working in laboratories.
Voice Over
But at Peenemunde in the Autumn of '44, the Germans were working on a joke of their own.
 
Cut to interior.
A German general (Terry J) is seated at an imposing desk.
Behind him stands Otto, labelled 'A Different Gestapo Officer'.
Bespectacled German scientist/joke writer enters room.
He clean his throat and reads from card.
 
German Joker
Die ist ein Kinnerhunder und zwei Mackel über und der bitte schön ist den Wunderhaus sprechensie.
'Nein' sprecht der Herren 'Ist aufern borger mit zveitingen'.
 
He finishes and looks hopeful.
 
Otto
We let you know.
 
He shoots him.
More stock film of German scientists.
 
Voice Over
But by December their joke was ready,
and Hitler gave the order for the German V-Joke to be broadcast in English.
 
Cut to 1940's wartime radio set with couple anxiously listening to it.
 
Radio (crackly German voice)
Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse,
and von vas... assaulted! peanut. Ho-ho-ho-ho.
 
Radio bursts into 'Deutschland Über Alles'.
The couple look at each other and then in blank amazement at the radio.
 
Cut to modern BBC 2 interview.
The commentator in a woodland glade.
 
Commentator
In 1945 Peace broke out.
It was the end of The Joke.
Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention,
and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again.
 
He walks away revealing a monument on which is written:
'To the unknown Joke'.
Camera pulls away slowly through idyllic setting.
Patriotic music reaches cresendo.
 
Cut to football referee who blows whistle.
Silence. Blank screen.
CAPTION:
'THE END'
 
The seashore again, with the 'It's' man lying on the beach.






















Wednesday, 30 October 2019

Banish with Laughter





















It Has Often Been Said That All Comedy is Rooted in Fear –





–  The Things That Make Us Laugh are VERY Closely to The Things Frighten Us


Friday, 25 October 2019

Fine.














It Has Often Been Said That All Comedy is Rooted in Fear –


–  The Things That Make Us Laugh are VERY Closely to The Things Frighten Us



Godmother :
Sorry, but whoever had a miscarriage, could you take it to the kitchen, please? 

Claire :
No! Don't follow me, Jake.
Oh, and this is over.
You're leaving me.

Martin The Hobgoblin :
No, no, no.

Claire :
Yes! 

Martin The Hobgoblin :
Are you drunk? 

Claire :
Yes.
Are you sober? 


Martin The Hobgoblin :
A bit.
Could you just fuck off? 

Fleabag :
Oh, absolutely not! 

Martin The Hobgoblin :
Okay, no, no.

Fleabag :
I'm staying right here.

Claire :
[EXHALES.]
I want you to leave me.

Martin The Hobgoblin :
Listen to me, I just, I have I think 

Fleabag’s Emotional Support Inner-Monologue:
( he has a little speech.  )

Martin The Hobgoblin :
I have a little speech that's building here.
Now, I know you look at me and you see a bad man with a big beard.

Claire :
You are an alcoholic and you tried it on with my sister.


Martin The Hobgoblin :
Fine.
I tried to kiss your sister on her birthday.



Claire :
My birthday! 

Martin The Hobgoblin :
Fine! 
I mix up birthdays and I have an alcohol problem, just like everyone else in this fucking country.

But I am here and I do things.

I pick up Jake up from shit, 
I make dessert for Easter, 
I organise the downstairs toilet, 
I fired the humming cleaner.

Claire :
You enjoyed that.

Martin The Hobgoblin :
I hoover the car.
I put up all your certificates 
and 
I don't make you feel guilty for not having sex with me.

I am not a bad guy! 
I just have a bad personality, it's not my fault.

Some people are born with fucked personalities.

Look at Jake.
He is so creepy, it's not his fault! 

Why the bassoon!? 
You want to know what the bassoon is!? 

It's a cry for help! 

The main fucking problem here is that you don't like me.

And that has been breaking my fucking heart for 11 years.

I love you.

I make you laugh.
I'm a douche, but I make you laugh.

You said that that was the most important thing! 

I think the thing that you hate the most about yourself is that you actually love me.

So, I am not going to leave you, until you are down on your knees begging me.

Claire :
Please, leave me.

Martin The Hobgoblin :
Oh, man.
I didn't think you'd do that in that dress.

Right.

Well I guess the only thing left for me to say is — 
Fuck you.

Fleabag :
Fuck you.




“Asking someone to mentor you, as I have said, is a simultaneous acknowledgement of vulnerability and admiration, and even in the most secular and occidental context bears a trace of Yogananda’s euphoric sincerity.

No one wants to be rejected by someone they admire and who knows they’re vulnerable. 

But after my holiday my old method of redemption through love was still giving me a good battering. 
If you’d asked me at the time what the problem was, I would have instantly blamed the woman I was going out with. 
Now I know the problem was my unreasonable, unconscious requirements.

I asked Jimmy for help, he agreed to help me. 
I told him about the melee that was my relationship and he was always able to ‘hold it’. 

Meaning that my problems never fazed him – the last thing you need when opening up your heart is for the person you’ve appointed to blanch or gag. 

He pointedly never offers unsolicited advice, instead meeting my enquiries with his own experience. 

There is a great power in this.”

Excerpt From
Mentors
by Russell Brand.


Switch :
How are you? 

LEGION:
Good. I'm good.

How are you? 

Switch :
You know.
Fine.

• LONG PAUSE•

My Dad collects Robots.
Robotto.
There's a room in our apartment.

Some are life-sized.
Some toys.
Hundreds.

Sometimes at night, I go in there.
I stand very still, and pretend I'm a Robot, too.

Sunday, 20 October 2019

The Numerology of The BuffyVerse : Seasons 1 Through Seasons 7



In The Afrikan Tradition, we are all Born Dead into This World.

All Men and Women who have ever lived are born into clean, empty vessels of flesh and blood, and become alive, as they become more and more filled up with accumulated memories and experiences until....




“There were real superheroes, of course. 

They did exist. 

They lived in paper universes, suspended in a pulp continuum where they never aged or died unless it was to be reborn, better than ever, with a new costume. 

Real superheroes lived on the surface of the second dimension. 
The real lives of real superheroes could be contained in two hands. 
They were so real they had lives that were longer than any human life. 

They were more real than I was. 

They say most human names and biographies are forgotten after four generations, but even the most obscure Golden Age superhero is likely to have a life and a renown that will last as long as trademarks are revived.

There was no physical Marvel universe New York. 
You couldn’t buy a ticket and fly there, yet you could buy a comic that would instantly transport you to the only real Marvel universe New York there could ever be—a paper-and-ink virtual-reality simulation—on the pages of the comic books themselves. 

A wholly alternative, fully functioning duplicate of New York now existed on the paper skin of the next dimension down from our own: 
a city populated by drawn figures of Daredevil, Spider-Man, and the Fantastic Four. 

That New York had its own history of alien invasions and tsunamis from Atlantis, but it also kept pace with changing fashions in the “real” world, and it had the capacity to grow in complexity and depth over decades. 

It had a continuity that was separate from our own. 

Its characters outlived real people, including their creators. 

The Baxter Building could outlast real houses made of stone. 

In my attempts to see beyond preconceptions to the undeniable actuality of things in Animal Man, I was drifting closer to what could only be termed a kind of psychedelic hyperreality.”

Excerpt From
Supergods
Grant Morrison




“You being given the opportunity to serve as Mother to The Whole of Creation by acting like one and protecting it!”


Daddy’s Home.


Child (of Death)

Little Miss Muffet, Counting Down from 7-2-0

====== GRADUATION ======

====== GRADUATION ======


Stability (and The Illusion of Security)

Spike: 
It's, uh . . called The Yoko Factor. 

Spike lights a cigarette and Adam just looks at him. 

Spike: 
Don't tell me you've never heard of The Beatles? 

ADAM: 
I have.
I like "Helter Skelter."

Spike: 
What a Surprise. 

The point is, they were once a real powerful group. 
It's not a stretch to say they Ruled The World. 

And when they broke up everyone blamed Yoko, but the fact is The Group split itself apart, she just happened to be there. 

And you know how it is with kids. 
They go off to college, they grow apart. 

Way of The World.




Buffy looks peaceful. She turns back to Dawn, who stares wide-eyed. 

DAWN: 
Buffy ... no! 

BUFFY: 
Dawnie, I have to. 

DAWN: 
No! 

BUFFY: 
Listen to me. 
Please, there's not a lot of time, listen. 


Dawn, Listen to Me. Listen. 


I love you. I will always love you. 

But this is The Work That I Have to Do. 

Tell Giles ... tell Giles I figured it out. 
And, and I'm okay. 


And give my love to my friends. 

You have to take care of them now. 

You have to take care of each other. 

You have to be Strong. 

Dawn, The Hardest Thing in This World ... 
Is to Live in It. 


Be Brave. Live. 

For Me. 


BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS

1981-2001 

BELOVED SISTER 
DEVOTED FRIEND 

SHE SAVED THE WORLD 

A LOT

======= THE ABYSS =======



======= THE ABYSS =======




Hell (and The Devil You Know)

Hell is Here
Hell is a Prison
Hell on Earth

Hell is Mediocre
Hell is Daily Life
Hell is The Evil of Banality

Hell is Other People
Hell is The Village
Hell is The Devil You Know

Pleased to Meet You, 
Hope You Guessed My Name

Hell is The Lesser of Two Evils
Hell is The Evil of Two Lessers


Hell is The Divine Comedy
Hell is Expulsion from Paradise
(Ev’ry Time I Get in, They Pull Me Back Out)

Hell is The Fall of Man
Hell is The Fallen Woman

Hell is Being Trapped 
in a Room, Forever
with Your Friends
(Having said that, Satre’s friends were all Frenchmen)


So, Does This Mean... I Can Still Win...?