Marxism is basically a maneuver to put Other People down --

"....long airplane flights, and I started thinking, uh, they always, you know --

They always show the same movie at the beginning of, uh, these flights, and uh --

It always ends up with, "Smoking is forbidden anywhere on the plane and if you try to creep into the men's room we got smoke detectors to catch you and to try to deactivate the smoke detector is a federal crime punishable by 30 years imprisonment to find $20 million and having your balls cut off or something to that effect --"

-- and uh, I -- I started thinking there are two types of people who suffer on long-distance flights : Heroin addicts and Nicotine addicts; 

But The Heroin Addicts don't really have to suffer much because they can they they can go into The John, and do up their works, and have a fix, and there's no detector that'll detect them; so The Heroin Addicts can just fly across country all the time without going through withdrawal, enjoying themselves basking in the glow of their addiction, while The Nicotine Addicts are all slowly falling apart because they got these smoke-detectors --

And it kind of makes me wonder, who does Our Government really hate more...? The Heroin Addicts or The Nicotine Addicts...? It's, uh --

I never thought about that question before uh it's just uh then I thought maybe uh maybe that's the cure for the nicotine problem which is you know The Country is getting more and more into a turning into An Armed Camp, especially California --

.....by the way I speak uh so you know my B I speak as an ex-smoker which is not the same as a non-smoker -- it's not that I never smoked I was addicted, and I'm not here to preach to those who are still because I know how hard it is to kick; I'm just reflecting on the paradoxes of, theoretically we hate heroin addicts more than nicotine addicts, but on long airline flights, we make the nicotine addicts suffer more than the heroin addicts -- suppose we try to turn all the nicotine addicts into heroin addicts so that they could have relief on these long flights?

If we could get them all off nicotine on the heroin they would not suffer so much -- this would be the humanitarian thing to do, they just go in the men's room, do up their work and there, you know.... That's civilised compared to the cruelties we're inflicting on them now --

Like, uh, one of the things I like about Amsterdam, my favourite city in Europe, is everybody in Europe -- 'all the men', I should say not everybody -- all the men in Europe say the best window shopping in Europe --

Ah, some people have been to Amsterdam and know what I'm referring to -- Uh, a lot of coffee houses in Amsterdam where you can buy hasheesh, and uh, it's great -- there you are, just sitting around drinking coffee with your friends, and buying hashish, and uh every now and then The Cop on The Beat comes in and takes a toke from somebody he recognises, and my God! Civilisation is possible on planet Earth it's just that The Dutch are the only ones who figured out how to do it! 

And I was in one of those coffee shops and I saw a sign it said "No Hard Drugs Please" -- I thought "Gee,that's the essence of the Dutch sensibility, that word, 'please'! -- that's so nice, you know that compared to the hostility of the signs you see in this country as a general rule no hard drugs please and you know if you're sitting around in a Amsterdam coffee shop with friends uh smoking your hash it does bring down the tone of the establishment if you look over and there's some goddamn junkie there ready to shoot up you know it's just not classy so so I really admire the Dutch um but then I realised I've been in the junkie neighborhood of Amsterdam it's right next to the red light neighborhood which is what I was talking about before the best window shopping in Europe uh and everybody in the junky neighborhood is smoking like a what's the smoking like a fish no no drinking like a fish smoking like a chimney and so heroin and nicotine and they can be addicted to both so getting all the nicotine addicts not the heroin won't work so there's another beautiful Theory destroyed by a few inconvenient facts what has this got to do with Quantum psychology nothing I'm just getting warmed up as just what happened to be on my mind uh somebody was telling me a story about a friend of theirs desperately hunting around here for an ashtray and that brought all this back to mine uh I lived in Ireland for six years Ireland uh is famous all over Europe and so psychiatric and social worker circles for having the highest alcoholism rate of any European country and uh this is a uh a source of continuous investigation the Irish are the most uh surveyed and studied people around because everybody wants to know why their alcoholism rate is so high uh I can't seem to get off the subject of addiction uh if they can figure out why their rate is so high then that might give us clues about you know what to do about it so they're always studying the Irish and uh the people who don't drink in in Dublin uh pretend to Ireland is the biggest consumer of non-alcoholic beer in the world every Pub in in Dublin has non-alcoholic beers and uh the reason is that the pub is the center of Irish Social Life everybody goes to the pub at night that's where you meet your friends and so if you're if you suddenly you decide you're an alcoholic and you got to give up drinking your social life comes to an end or it would if it weren't for the Blessed invention of non-alcoholic beers now the alcoholics in Ireland can sit around the pub with their friends drinking non-alcoholic beer and looking perfectly normal by Irish standards uh you don't look normal in Ireland without a drink in your hand um uh the Irish also smoke like chimneys to get back to that simil I should come up with something more original but uh smoke I like smoking like a fish that's better cuz it's more confusing like uh that great graffiti I once saw in a men's room in Berkeley uh a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle makes you think doesn't it h in Ireland they have heard the news uh that smoking is dangerous and hazardous and all that but they they don't take it seriously so everybody smokes continually and when I was living in Ireland I'm I was coming back to this country to do lectures and it's like uh going from one planet to another here's a planet where no matter where you go the room is full of smoke then you come to this planet where there's no smoke visible anywhere if anybody lights up everybody starts throwing stones at them and tries to destroy them and uh then you then you notice these other differences in this country they're just starting to allow uh legal gambling in a few places a few states are beginning to liberalize all through my life it's been strictly it's been Unthinkable unamerican uh abominable the idea that the of a state run lottery or to let the tracks take uh bets off the way from the track or anything like that in Ireland every block right next to the pub there's a beding establishment and uh in this country uh until uh Thomas gets confirmed abortion is totally legal everywhere outside of Louisiana uh in Ireland it's totally illegal am I just rambling or if I started talking about Quantum psychology uh the Irish assume it's perfectly normal for everybody to drink and for some people to drink heavily It's Perfectly Normal to smoke it's abominable to have an abortion and divorce is illegal too and of course everybody knows who are the worst villains in the world it's the English and nobody in Ireland has ever doubted that for the last 800 years since the English first invaded them and they've been trying to get the English out ever since 

Uh, in Amsterdam uh -- you have an entirely different culture where you can uh uh where the porno theaters are not only wide open but they have gigantic letters as big as the theaters on Broadway or Market Street in San Francisco no nothing more Broadway you got to go to in New York to see and and the these great big signs say things like Li [ __ ] inside in in English uh because most of the tourists are English English is becoming an international language in Ireland prostitution is illegal and uh which means there are no prostitutes in Ireland uh I was in Ireland two days when I found out which part of the keys the prostitutes all gather on uh but the police officially don't know it homosexuality is illegal in Ireland uh the penalty is 20 years at hard labor still uh so there are no gay men in Ireland there's a restaurant across the street from Trinity College uh called the pink cartion uh the no I mean the green Carnation what's the matter with me the green Carnation and it's quite it's uh got a picture of Oscar wild in the window one of Trinity most famous graduates after Jonathan Swift and Samuel Becket and it big sign saying basket lunches uh but the police uh do not know of any gay bars in duin because they're illegal actually there is one gay man in Ireland his name is David narus he's a professor at Trinity College and a member of the Irish Senate and he is suing the Irish government claiming the law against the sodomy that's what the law calls it the law against sodomy is interfering with his civil liberties and uh he's a member of the Senate I think it's the only country in the world where I remember of the Senate is suing the country itself of violating its civil liberties of course he is not really the only gay man in Ireland it's just that they pretend he isn't until like uh everybody grows up within a culture uh that tries to teach them that the way our culture does things is the natural way ordained by God it's the only rable rational and sensible way and all other cultures all the damn foreigners are all crazy dirty degenerate and subhuman and uh they they also every place you go they also believe tourists are a curse invented by God to punish us for our sins uh the reason tourists appear a curse invent by God is uh that tourists don't act the way people are supposed to act if they come from Germany they don't act like us they act like Germans if they come from Ireland they act like Irish if they come from Japan they act like Japanese they don't know the right way to act which is the way we were taught to act and I have pondered all my life all my adult life why do people spend so much time on the singular occupation of making life hard for other people that is to say why do people put so much energy into trying to put other people down to find nasty things to say about them ways to criticize them ways to humiliate them ways to make them feel like they're one step down well according to most standard psychological theories people do this because they feel insecure people who feel insecure are trying to put other people down that makes them feel a little less insecure because they put somebody even further down than they feel okay that theory sort of makes sense but then you look around and you see how much time people spend trying to put one another down and the only conclusion you can come to is that everybody feels insecure 

"Human Society consists of a bunch of people who basically have this program, which the great New York psychologist Albert Ellis defined way back in The 50s as,
"I am a No-Good Shit." --

Ellis, I regard as my great predecessor in using Honest Language in books about Psychology, describing the way people really think and feel :

"I am a No-Good Shit." 

That is the basic program that
most people are operating on -- 

The second program is, "If I pretend hard enough, nobody will guess I'm a No-Good Shit", and the third program is,  "The way to Do it, is to convince everybody else that they're No-Good Shits."  --

The people who become most adept at this, find An Ideology which allows them to go around correcting Everybody Else, all the time, which explains why there are so fucking many Marxists in The World, even after Marxism has totally collapsed everywhere outside of China, Cuba and Pacifica Radio.... 

Marxism is basically a maneuver to put Other People down -- you just wait for them to Say something,  you got a long list and as soon as they violate one of The Taboos, you jump : "A-ha! Bourgeois-Thinking!",  uh…. "Male-chauvinism!", uh, --  whatever is the latest thing....

Now, why are people so devoted to putting one another down, why do they all have this basic program, "I am a No-Good Shit"?  

Pope BOB, R.A.W,

Northern California, 1991

Well, infants are born without any culture — every infant, as Bucky Fuller once said, is born naked, hungry and intensely curious —

And that's about it.  Naked, Hungry and intensely Curious — so the principle role of parents, is to take this naked hungry intensely curious being and persuade it, cajole  it, browbeat it, terrorise it, or one way or another, convince it that The Way We Do Things in this tribe is the natural way, ordained by God, and anything you feel like doing or want to do, or that seems ‘natural’ to you, if it doesn't fit into tribal customs, you [have]  got to stop it right away —

now most people have been so thoroughly conditioned by their culture that they really are horrified when they become parents if they become parents they really are horrified when they notice that their children do not have the tribal taboos firmly in place the children are born without the tabos they do all sorts of things that according to Social standards are immoral unethical disgusting perverse uh and not what not the way human beings are supposed to behave so the parents are really shocked oh my God we gave birth to a monster so so then they put on more pressure so the process of growing up from infancy to toddler to uh young child ready getting ready for school there a process of learning continually that you are in no good and you got to learn to put on this mask and act like everybody else and repeat all the social customs and then nobody will notice you're a no good and this creates so much tension that people spend most of their adult lives still trying to recover from this by finding other no good shits and and denouncing them so Human Society consists of a search and destroy mission against no good shits let's find the no good shits and get rid of them in California right now it's the cigarette smokers according to George Bush it's the pot smokers uh they talk a lot about crack babies but uh judge sweet when he uh had his Awakening or whatever it was and decided the War on Drugs was the craziest thing that ever happened to this country and started speak out against the judge swe pointed out that 70% of the budget for the War on Drugs goes to the pursuit of pot smokers so if they're so worried about crack babies why aren't they spending 70% and fighting cocaine why are they spending 70% fighting pot well it seems uh I don't know uh that has a lot to do with it probably those of you 

Entertainment

 

“There is some confusion 

as to what Magic actually is. 

I think this can be cleared up 

if you just look at 

the very earliest 

descriptions of Magic. 

Magic in its earliest form 

is often referred to as “The Art”. 

I believe this is 

completely literal. 

I Believe that Magic is Art 

and that Art, whether it 

be Writing, Music, Sculpture, 

or any other form 

is literally Magic.

 Art is, like Magic, 

The Science of manipulating 

Symbols, Words, or Images, 

to achieve Changes

in Consciousness. 

The very Language about magic 

seems to be talking as much about 

Writing or Art as it is about 

supernatural events. 

A grimmoir for example, 

the book of spells 

is simply a fancy way 

of saying grammar. 

Indeed, to cast A Spell, 

is simply to spell, 

to manipulate words, 

to change people's 

consciousness. 

And I believe that this is why 

An Artist or Writer is the closest thing 

in the contemporary world that 

you are likely to see to A Shaman.

I believe that all Culture must have arisen from Cult. 

Originally, all of the facets of our culture, 

whether they be in the arts or sciences 

were the province of the Shaman.

The fact that in present times, 

this magical power has 

degenerated to the level 

of cheap entertainment 

and manipulation, is, 

I think, a tragedy. 

At the moment 

the people who are using 

Shamanism and Magic 

to shape Our Culture 

are Advertisers. 

Rather than try 

to wake people up, 

their Shamanism 

is used as an opiate 

to tranquillise people, to make 

people more manipulable. 

Their magic box of Television, 

and by their magic words, 

their jingles 

can cause everyone 

in the country 

to be thinking 

the same words 

and have 

the same banal thoughts 

all at exactly 

the same moment. 

In all of magic there is an incredibly large linguistic component. 

The Bardic tradition of Magic 

would place a bard 

as being much higher 

and more fearsome 

than A Magician. 

A Magician might curse you —

That might make your hens lay funny 

or you might have 

a child born with a club foot. 

If a Bard were to place not a curse upon you, but a satire, 

then that could destroy you. 

If it was a clever satire, 

it might not just destroy you 

in the eyes of your associates; 

it would destroy you 

in the eyes of your family. 

It would destroy you 

in your own eyes. 

And if it was a finely worded and clever satire 

that might survive and be remembered for decades, 

even centuries. 

Then years after you were dead people still might be reading it 

and laughing at you 

and your wretchedness 

and your absurdity. 

Writers and people who had command of words 

were respected and feared as people who manipulated magic. 

In latter times I think that 

artists and writers 

have allowed themselves 

to be sold down the river. 

They have accepted 

the prevailing belief 

that art and writing 

are merely forms 

of entertainment. 

They’re not seen as transformative forces 

that can change a human being; 

that can change A Society. 

They are seen as 

simple entertainment; 

things with which we can 

fill 20 minutes, half an hour, 

while we’re waiting to die. 

It’s not the job of The Artist 

to give The Audience 

What The Audience WANTS.

If The Audience knew 

what they needed, 

then they wouldn’t 

be The Audience —

they would be The Artists. 

It is The Job of Artists 

to give The Audience 

what they need.

— Alan Moore

“A vaudeville was originally 

a comedy without psychological or moral intentions, 

based on a comical situation : a dramatic composition or light poetry, 

interspersed with songs or ballets.”

[Big Top]

(It is dark and quiet as The Doctor and Ace enter. They whisper to each other.)

ACE: 

Professor.

Time's Champion : 

Yes?

ACE: 

I can't see a thing.

Time's Champion : 

Neither can I.

ACE: 

And the cheering's stopped.

Time's Champion : 

Perhaps we're between performances. 

Let's see if we can find a seat.

(The Doctor feels his way to the stands and climbs the steps. He stubs his toe.)

ACE: 

Found somewhere to sit, Professor?

Time's Champion : 

That's one way of looking at it, 

if we could see. Over here.

ACE: 

What?

Time's Champion : 

I said, over here.

(They settle down.)

Time's Champion : 

In a moment, our eyes'll 

get used to The Darkness.

ACE: 

Assuming there's 

anything worth seeing.

(There is a rustling noise nearby.)

Time's Champion : 

Listen.

(On the row above them sits a 1950's family, 

Father, Mother 

and a little girl between them. 

They are eating a noisy snack.)

GIRL: 

Daddy. Daddy.

DAD: 

What?

GIRL: 

I want an ice cream.

DAD: 

You've already had one.

GIRL: 

But Daddy.

DAD: 

I told you once 

and I'm not going to 

tell you again. 

Now shut up and 

eat your popcorn.

Time's Champion : 

We're not alone.

ACE: 

Yeah, but it looks like 

it's just Us and Them. 

What a con. 

I mean, where's 

Mags and the Captain?

Time's Champion : 

Perhaps they haven't arrived yet. 

Who knows? 

Anyway, I'm going to have 

an ice cream.

MUM: 

They should be 

starting up again soon. 

Have a crisp, Father.

Time's Champion : 

Greetings. 

Not many in today, are there. 

Are you regulars 

or is this your first visit, too?

 Let me introduce myself. I'm —

(The Mother holds out the bag of crisps.)

Time's Champion : 

Oh, thank you very much. 

Delicious.

(The circus music starts and the lights come up.)

ACE: 

Professor. Professor, it's starting.

Time's Champion : 

Well, it's been a pleasure.

(The Doctor returns to sit with Ace as the ring fills with tumbling and juggling clowns.)

Time's Champion : 

Remarkable.

ACE: 

If you like this sort of thing.

Time's Champion : 

No, no, I mean the memorial stones. 

Do you see them? Look.

(Placed at intervals around the ring are old carved stones. 

The Ringmaster enters and the clowns freeze.)

RINGMASTER: 

Now welcome folks, 

I mean that from the heart, 

because The Greatest Show 

is about to start. 

It's happening right here 

before your very eyes 

and one thing's for sure, 

you're in for quite a surprise. 

But then, nothing's quite 

as it seems to be at 

The Greatest Show in the Galaxy.

(The Ringmaster adjusts the controls in the back of one clown and it does a somersault.)

RINGMASTER: 

Now welcome folks, 

we've got a brand new act. 

He's a real find and no doubt 

that's a fact. 

He'll entertain you, 

he'll make you stare, 

and our great new act 

is seated over there…!

(The spotlight falls on the Doctor.)

Time's Champion : 

Oh, thank you, but —

RINGMASTER: 

Come on, Doctor. Don't be shy.

Time's Champion : 

Well, I'm not really sure 

that I should.

RINGMASTER: 

Oh, no false modesty. 

We know you're Good.

Time's Champion : 

Well, this is most unexpected. 

Are you sure you want me?

RINGMASTER: 

There's no mistake, Doc. 

Come on in. Feel free.

ACE: 

Don't go, Professor.

Time's Champion : 

Why, what harm could it do?

RINGMASTER: 

Exactly. But the decision's up to you.

(Wearing a big grin, the Doctor pushes past Ace and hurries down the ring, to canned applause.)

ACE: 

No, Doctor!

(The Doctor has barely got into the ring when the clowns start throwing their clubs past him, front and back.)

Time's Champion : 

Well, you certainly didn't waste any time. 

I had expected to see what the opposition was up to 

before I put myself forward for the talent contest.

(Ace tries to run out of the Big Top but is surrounded by clowns behind the seating where the Doctor cannot see.)

Time's Champion : 

But since you insist.

RINGMASTER: 

Oh, we do, but no doubt 

you'd like to get yourself 

prepared first.

Time's Champion : 

Well, yes, I —

RINGMASTER: 

Let me show you and your charming assistant to your dressing room.

Time's Champion : 

Oh, thank you very much. Ace!

CLOWN: 

Where did you find that earring?

ACE: 

Are you a robot too?

CLOWN: 

No.

ACE: 

Pity.

CLOWN: 

So tell me where you found it.

(Ace gets away.)

CLOWN: 

After her.

[Backstage]

RINGMASTER: 

Right this way, Doctor.

Time's Champion : 

Thank you very much, but where's Ace? I don't think she —

RINGMASTER: 

Oh, she'll be coming.

CAPTAIN [OC]: Iniphitus, where the Galvanic Catastrophods are not what they were.

(The Doctor looks through to where the Captain is drinking tea and talking at a bored Nord while Mags is staring at nothing.)

CAPTAIN: 

No, but they're still worth a look if you're doing a tour of the southern nebula and have an eon or two to spare. You. Well, well.

Time's Champion : Captain Cook, I presume. So you had arrived after all.

CAPTAIN: 

But of course. Come and join us, Doctor. It's one big happy family here, eh, Nord?

NORD: Except when you're gassing on.

Time's Champion : Well, I don't really think I

CAPTAIN: Nonsense, we're having a ball here.

Time's Champion : Very well then. Mags. Do sit down, Doctor.

(Mags give up her seat next to the Captain and pours out some tea.)

Time's Champion : Thank you very much.

CAPTAIN: Yes, there we are. Comfy?

Time's Champion : Yes.

CAPTAIN: That's the spirit.

(Bars slide down over the entrance, then the curtains are all pulled back to reveal that the quartet are actually in a - )

[Cage]

CAPTAIN: Anything the matter, old chap?

Time's Champion : It's a trap! I've fallen into a trap! I've fallen for it.

CAPTAIN: Yes, I know, old boy. Never mind. Have some tea. A very similar thing happened to me once, you know.

(Ace uses the pin of the earring to slash the billowing fabric of the backstage corridors and hide from the pursuing clowns.)

Time's Champion : Why?

CAPTAIN: Why what?

Time's Champion : Why let me be trapped? It's so pointless. I could have saved you, Nord and Mags.

CAPTAIN: I wouldn't be too sure about that, Doctor. These circus chappies are pretty smart customers for all their let it all hang out mumbo jumbo.

MAGS: Maybe we could have escaped if we'd made a break for it there and then. If only you'd

CAPTAIN: Now, now, Mags. No use in getting upset, and that's an order.

Time's Champion : What about you? I mean, why didn't you speak up?

(Nord growls. The Doctor growls back.)

Time's Champion : What kind of answer's that?

CAPTAIN: Save your energy, Doctor. You'll soon see why. Anyway, all of us in here have developed a survival philosophy, which is why we welcomed you in.

Time's Champion : 

What is all this, then? 

I thought there was 

a talent contest going on.

CAPTAIN: 

Well, yes, but in a way 

it's more like a survival of the fittest.

(A man in a suede jacket pushes a broom round the outside of the cage.)

CAPTAIN: 

Oh, that's Deadbeat. 

Yes, he does odd jobs about the place, 

makes the tea for me, things like that. 

Don't bother too much about him, though. 

Fellow's mind's completely gone.

DEADBEAT: 

Gone. Gone. Oh really gone. 

All really gone down the road again.

[Cage]

(The zapping noise can be heard and the strobing lights seen.)

Time's Champion : 

Is this what you saw before?

MAGS: Not exactly, but just as bad.

(There is a peal of thunder then a big flash, and smoke. The Ringmaster picks up a piece of charred leather from the middle of the ring to canned applause.)

Time's Champion : Would you let something like that happen to you?

MAGS: Would you?

[Ticket office]

WHIZZKID: It must be awfully exciting working for the Psychic Circus, Morgana. Particularly when you did your tour of the Boreatic Wastes. I think that most of your admirers would agree with me that that was one of your finest ever gigs. Well, in so far as you can tell from the posters

MORGANA: Would you like to be getting along inside?

WHIZZKID: You mean I can go in, just like that?

MORGANA: Yes. Go right now, please.

WHIZZKID: Oh wow!

[Cage]

(The Doctor is practising his juggling with Mags.)

CAPTAIN: Mags.

MAGS: What?

CAPTAIN: It's not going to work. I remember when I was on the baleful plains of Grolon, I

MAGS: I don't care.

Time's Champion : Ready?

(Mags and the Doctor go to the cage door, where a pair robot clowns stand guard.)

Time's Champion : I believe I'm on first.

MAGS: No, I'm ahead of you.

Time's Champion : No, you're not.

MAGS: No, I am.

Time's Champion : I insist on going out first.

MAGS: Oh no, you don't.

Time's Champion : Oh yes, I do!

[Big Top]

(The Ringmaster enters.)

RINGMASTER: Now listen folks, we have a great new act. He's a real find, there's no doubt that's a fact. He'll entertain you, he'll make you stare, and our great new act is seated over there!

(The spotlight finds Whizzkid.)

MUM: I hope he's better than the last one.

DAD: Couldn't be much worse.

GIRL: Mum, Mum.

MUM: Shut up and eat your popcorn.

[Cage]

Time's Champion : Look, I insist in going on first.

MAGS: I told you, I am.

Time's Champion : I am!

(The clowns come over and the door slides up. The Doctor and Mags knock them out with the clubs.)

Time's Champion : Join the club. Captain?

CAPTAIN: 

No thanks, old boy. I'll sit this one out. 

Goodbye, Mags.

MAGS: 

Bye, Captain.

ckstage]

Time's Champion : 

Something dreadful's 

happening in the ring. 

Things are getting out of control 

quicker than I expected.

DAD [OC]: 

Calling The Doctor. 

Calling the Doctor.

Time's Champion : 

Nothing will satisfy Them 

but my presence.

MAGS: 

I'm coming back in there with you.

Time's Champion : 

No. You must run and get 

Ace and Deadbeat.

(Mags runs off.)

Time's Champion : 

I must prepare for my entrance. 

Never keep your audience waiting.

(The clowns chase Mags outside, then they head for the hearse. Down in the well, the eye gets bigger.)

[Ticket office]

(A wind starts to blow.)

Time's Champion : 

I'm coming. 

Open a pathway for me. 

Once small step for mankind, 

one great leap, 

or words to that effect —

(The Doctor pulls apart the canvas entrance to the Circus and steps into a kaleidoscope world of noise and colour. He fights his way through with gritted teeth to -)

[Arena]

(A semi-circular sand floor, grey stone walls with one grilled doorway, and three large figures sitting on thrones looking down.)

Time's Champion : 

And here we all are at last. 

I'm surprised you brought me here. 

It must be very difficult for you, 

trying to exist concurrently 

in two different time spaces. 

I know the problem myself. 

No wonder those memorial stones looked familiar. 

The Gods of Ragnarok, 

I presume.

[By the snack stall]

(The stallholder has hitched the stall to her horse and is manoeuvring it to turn round. Mags jumps over the hitch and keeps running.)

STALLHOLDER: 

Don't you frighten my horse like that, you hippie weirdo.

(The hearse has to stop and sound its horn.)

STALLHOLDER: 

Shut up, circus riff-raff. 

You don't own this planet, you know.

[Arena]

Time's Champion : 

How many people have you destroyed, I wonder, 

before Kingpin 

was lured down here. 

Poor Kingpin. 

That's what you like, isn't it. 

Taking someone with a touch 

of individuality and imagination, 

and wearing them down to nothingness 

in Your Service.

DAD: 

Enough.

MUM: 

You have said enough.

Time's Champion : 

Enough? I've hardly started. 

I have fought 

The Gods of Ragnarok 

all through time.

(The Doctor looks at his watch.)

DAD: 

You are in our true 

time space now, Doctor. 

There is no appeal beyond its confines to any other.

Time's Champion : 

Don't tell me what you want me to do. 

Let me guess. Now let me see. 

You want me to —

DAD: 

Entertain us.

MUM: 

Entertain us.

DAD: 

Or die. So long as 

you entertain us, you may live.

MUM: 

When you no longer 

entertain us, you die.

Time's Champion : 

Predictable as ever, 

Gods of Ragnarok. 

As I think it's been said before, 

or was it after? Anyway, 

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

(The Doctor leans and swings round at a remarkable angle.)

[Segonax]

(Ace and Deadbeat meet Mags.)

ACE: 

Hey, Mags! 

Where's The Doctor?

MAGS: 

Back at the circus.

ACE: 

So you're on your own now?

MAGS: 

Not exactly. Look.

(Here comes the hearse. Mags sees the completed medallion.)

MAGS: 

That's what they're after.

DEADBEAT: 

Oh, I might have guessed.

ACE: 

So how do we get it back to The Doctor? 

Oh, dumbo! Not you two, me. 

I've got an idea. Come on!

MAGS: 

Wrong way!

ACE: 

Not for this. 

Come on, Kingpin!

[Arena]

(The Doctor has a table in front of him, with a large pan and its cover.)

Time's Champion : 

Thank you very much, 

Ladies and Gentlemen, 

for that overwhelming reception. 

And now, I would like to begin 

like Life, at The Beginning. 

But how did Life begin? 

Was it with a chicken 

or was it with -

DAD: 

What?

(The Doctor produces an egg from his mouth and puts it in the pan. Then a second one which goes into his hand and disappears.)

MUM: 

Don't try our patience.

(She throws a lightning bolt near the Doctor.)

DAD: 

Don't play games.

Time's Champion : 

You're not interested in beginnings.

 You're only interested in endings.

[Campsite]

MAGS: 

Oh no, not that thing again. 

Come on.

DEADBEAT: 

Dumbo. Bellboy's robot.

ACE: 

Dead right, Kingpin.

(The three hide behind the robot as the hearse pulls up and the clowns run out.)

CLOWN: 

Bellboy's greatest mistake. 

What a place to choose. 

You may have The Eye again, Deadbeat, 

but you won't use it. 

You know that. 

You're not strong enough! 

You weren't before.

DEADBEAT: 

At least I tried. 

You just gave in.

CLOWN: 

Yes, and I shall get my reward. 

Last chance, Deadbeat. 

We really believed in all that talk 

of Peace and Love

ACE: 

This thing had better work, 

or I'll kick its head in.

(Ace jabs at the remote control. After a few moments, the robot lasers one of the robot clowns, then the other three. Finally it kills the clown himself and keeps firing as Ace keeps pushing buttons. Then it goes quiet.)

MAGS: 

For a moment I thought you weren't going to be able to make it stop.

ACE: 

Funny you should say that.

DEADBEAT: 

He used to be a great clown.

ACE: 

I've never liked clowns.

[Arena]

(To the strains of Narcissus being played on a violin, the Doctor produces a length of rope and ties the ends together.)

Time's Champion : 

What, no complaints? 

No arguments? 

No thunderbolts?

(The rope falls into a single length with the knot still in it.)

DAD: 

No, Doctor.

MUM: 

We're not concerned that 

You're Playing for Time.

(The Doctor has untied the knot and is now fastening the two pieces of rope together. Then he stands on a loose end and pulls it into a single piece of rope again.)

DAD: 

We have A Saying :

Time's Champion : 

Let me guess —

Give yourself enough rope 

and you hang yourself.

(The Doctor looks at his watch again.)

[Campsite]

ACE: 

Kingpin.

DEADBEAT: 

I only hope we make it in time. 

The Doctor's stronger than I ever was, 

but even he can't hold out against them forever.

(Mags, Ace and Deadbeat get into the hearse.)

ACE: 

He'll have a good stab at it, though.

[Arena]

DAD: 

You are nearing 

The End, Doctor.

Time's Champion : 

A piece of rope 

has two ends, 

Father Ragnarok.

(The Doctor coils the rope into the pan. 

Then he produces a long candle from his handkerchief and lights it with a flame apparently from his palm. 

He puts the lit candle to the pan with bursts into flames, 

briefly puts the cover over it to extinguish them and removes a snake from it. 

Mum throws a thunderbolt.)

MUM: 

Feel the rain, Doctor.

DAD: 

Feel the chill in your bones.

(The Doctor turns around and the snake turns into his umbrella. He puts it up just before the downpour starts.)

[By the Ticket Office]

(The wind is still howling. Ace stops to look at the crystal ball.)

DEADBEAT: 

Ace, quick! Come on!

[Arena]

(The Doctor is attempting to escape from a strait-jacket whilst hanging by his ankles from a rope.)

DAD: 

Doctor.

Time's Champion : 

Yes?

DAD: 

You are trifling with us.

Time's Champion : 

Really? I thought 

I was entertaining you.

(He gets the strait-jacket off.)

DAD: 

You are on the brink 

of Destruction, Doctor. 

We want something bigger, something better.

Time's Champion : 

Do you, now?

[Big Top]

(Deadbeat, Mags and Ace run into the deserted ring.)

ACE: 

The Doctor must be here somewhere.

DEADBEAT: 

Well, he may already be in 

The Dark Circus with The Gods. 

If so, there's only one way 

we can reach him.

MAGS: 

The Stone Chamber.

ACE: 

And the medallion?

DEADBEAT: 

Yeah. We must be careful. 

They're bound to sense its presence.

[Arena]

(The Doctor is back on his feet.)

Time's Champion : 

Do I have your full attention?

(He checks his wrist watch.)

[Ticket Office]

DEADBEAT: 

You do realise that 

They'll try anything to stop us?

ACE: 

Yes. Let's go.

(Behind the advertising boards, the Captain sits up from the stretcher and puts on his pith helmet.)

[Arena]

Time's Champion : 

The climax of My Act, 

Gods of Ragnarok, 

requires something 

You Do Not Possess 

in great abundance. 

That is, Imagination. 

And it starts with 

A Piece of Metal. 

This Piece of Metal 

once belonged to 

A Sword, 

and that Sword 

belonged to 

A Gladiator.

(The Doctor throws the piece of metal into the air, where it transforms into a gladius, and then a long sword drops into his hand.)

Time's Champion : 

And That Gladiator 

fought and died 

in this ring to 

entertain you.

[Stone chamber]

(Deadbeat stops at the well.)

ACE: 

Go for it, Kingpin.

(But the Eye is staring back up at him. He backs away.)

MAGS: 

Kingpin, please.

ACE: 

Well, one of us had better try.

(Deadbeat holds out the medallion and shuts his eyes. The Captain hits him in the kidneys and catches the medallion as he falls.)

CAPTAIN: 

Perhaps I might relieve you of that.

MAGS: 

Captain, I thought 

You were Dead.

CAPTAIN: 

I am, my dear. I am.

[Arena]

Time's Champion : 

I have fed you enough, 

Gods of Ragnarok, 

and you found 

what I have to offer indigestible. 

So I have taken myself 

off The Menu. 

La comedia e finita.

DAD: 

We Command You.

MUM: 

You Cannot Stop.

Time's Champion : 

I already have.

DAD: 

Then You Will Die.

Time's Champion : 

Probably not --

It's all a matter of Timing, 

don't you know.

(The Doctor points The Sword to The Ground.)

[Stone chamber]

ACE: 

Oi, sarcophagus face!

(The Captain turns and Mags kicks the medallion out of his hand and into the well. It lands on the sword and the Doctor uses it to reflect the Gods' Thunderbolts back at Them.

The Eye in the well grows.)

DEADBEAT: 

Quick.

CAPTAIN: 

You know, when I was on 

The Planet Periboea, 

I met someone who walked around 

when he was already dead. 

I must say, as an experience 

I'd say it's very overrated.

(The Captain falls into the well.)

[Ticket office]

DEADBEAT: 

Look. Get down!

(The crystal ball explodes.

In the arena, the Gods stop firing laser bolts at the Doctor and slump in their seats. The walls crack and buckle. The Doctor throws the sword and medallion at them then raises his hat as the whole place falls apart.

The Big Top crumples as the arena disintegrates. The Doctor walks out and doesn't flinch as an explosion occurs just behind him.)

[Segonax]

(A huge red pillar of smoke climbs to the sky. The Stallholder speaks to her horse.)

STALLHOLDER: 

It's what I've always said --

No consideration for those of us that live here.

[Outside the Circus]

Time's Champion : 

Enjoying The Show, Ace?

ACE : 

Yeah. It was Your Show all along, wasn't it?

MAGS: 

The Captain really is finished now, isn't he?

Time's Champion : 

Yes. But you're just 

about to start --

Kingpin : 

Doctor, I've been 

Thinking --

Time's Champion : 

What better way for 

A Circus to begin than 

with a wonderful new act.

ACE: 

Yeah, weird and wonderful. 

Nice one, Professor. 

You'll knock 'em dead.

MAGS: 

That's just what I'm afraid of. 

What if I can't control it?

Time's Champion : 

Oh, you can, Mags. 

You already have.

Kingpin : 

What about it, Doctor? 

You and Ace. 

Join Kingpin's new circus 

and travel The Galaxy with us.

Time's Champion : 

Thank you, Kingpin, but I'm afraid we've got other galaxies to travel. And besides, I find circuses a little sinister.