Showing posts with label Twins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twins. Show all posts

Friday 22 October 2021

Shiny



Maurice Hurley :
“I get a call from Paramount saying 
Come and meet Roddenberry, 
we want to consider you as a writer 
for Star Trek: The Next Generation’ 
I said that's A Joke, that's a JOKE. 

But I want to meet Roddenberry. 
Who wouldn't wanna meet Roddenberry? 

I was coming off two cop shows. 
I was coming off Miami Vice, very good show. 
Equalizer, very good show. 

So he gives me the first episode to rewrite. 
We pass each other in the hallway four or five times a day, 
he won't look at me.

Dorothy Fortuna
Apparently Gene didn't like 
What He Wrote. 
It was probably the first time 
we heard them battle.

Hurley :
And he raises up behind his desk, 
this great bird-like creature 
and he points his finger at me like this 
and he says, 
"YOU don't know the difference 
between SHIELDS 
and DEFLECTORS!." 

And that went on for weeks.”

Shatner :
What did that say to you about 
What You Were Confronting? 

Hurley :
He didn't want ME,  
Hurley, The Writer. 

He didn't want me to write Me
he wanted me to write HIM…








You cannot have 
A Protagonist 
without Desire.

It doesn't make any sense.
Any fucking sense.

You follow? Good.
Anyone else?

Yes?

Kuafman :
What if A Writer is attempting to create 
Story where nothing much happens?

Where people don't change,
they don't have any epiphanies.

They Struggle and are Frustrated,
and nothing is resolved.

More a reflection
of The Real World.


Lektor :
The REAL World?

Kaufman
Yes, sir.

Lektor :
The Real fucking World.

First of all, you write a screenplay
without Conflict or Crisis,
you'll bore your audience to tears.

Secondly, Nothing Happens
in The World?

Are you out of your fucking mind?

People are murdered every day.

There's Genocide, War, Corruption.

Every fucking day,
somewhere in the world,
somebody sacrifices his life
to save somebody.

Every day, someone somewhere
takes a conscious decision
to destroy someone else.

People find love.
People lose it.

A Child watches A Mother beaten
to death on the steps of a church.

Someone goes Hungry.
Somebody Else Betrays His Best Friend 
for a Woman.

If you can't find that stuff in life,
then you, My Friend,
don't know crap about Life!

And why the fuck are you wasting my two precious hours with your movie?

I don't have any use for it!

I don't have any bloody use for it!

Okay, thanks.

Thank you. You're welcome.

No. Thank you.

Thank you so much, Mr. McKee.

This course makes you look at
writing in a whole different way.

Mr. McKee. 

Yes?

I'm the guy you yelled at this morning.

….I need more.

I'm the one who thought
things didn't happen in life.

Ah. Right. Okay.

Nice to see you. 

I need to Talk.

Mr. McKee, my even standing here is very scary.
I don't meet people well.
But what you said this morning
shook me to the bone.

It was bigger than my screenwriting choices.

It was about my choices as 
A Human Being. Please.

Yeah.

Well, you know, I could
sure use a drink, My Friend.

"...but a little fantastic
and fleeting and out of reach."

Then what happens?

Well, that's the end of the book.
I wanted to present it simply without big character arcs or sensationalizing the story.

I wanted to show flowers as God's miracles.

I wanted to show that Orlean never
saw the blooming ghost orchid.

It was about disappointment.

I see.

That's not a movie.

You gotta go back,
put in the drama.

I can't go back. I've got pages of
false starts and wrong approaches.

I'm way past my deadline.
I'll tell you a secret.

A last act makes a film.

Wow them in the end,
and you got a hit.

You can have flaws, problems,
but wow them in the end

and you've got a hit.

Find an ending. But don't cheat.

And don't you dare bring in
a deus ex machina.

Your characters must change and The Change 
must come from them.

Do that and you'll be fine.

You promise?

Mr. McKee.

Have you taken my course before?


My Brother did.

My Twin brother, Donald.
He's the one who got me to come.

Lektor :
Twin screenwriters? 

Yeah.

Lektor :
Well, Julius and Philip Epstein,
who wrote Casablanca,
they were twins

You mentioned that in class.


Lektor :
Finest screenplay ever written.



Great writers' residence.

Donald.
Hey, how's your trip going?

You getting it on with that
lady journalist, you dog, you?

Yeah.

Listen, I'm just calling to say
congratulations on your script.

Isn't that cool? Marty says he can
get me high-sixes against a mil-five.

That's great, Donald.

I want to thank you
for all your help.

I wasn't any help.

Come on,
you let me stay in your place.

And your integrity
inspired me to even try.

It's been a wild ride.

Catherine says
she wants to play Cassie.

Oh, please! Ha, ha, ha.

Please, Donald?

Catherine Keener?

Catherine Keener's in my house?
Yeah, we're playing Boggle.

She's great. You should really
hang out with her, Charles.

Yeah. Um, look...

I've been thinking.

Maybe you'd be interested in hanging
out for a few days in New York.

Oh, my God, yes.

Yeah?

I was gonna show my script
to some people,

and, well, maybe you could
read it too, you know, if you like.

Of course. I'd be flattered.

Okay.

Thanks, Charles.

Okay, bye.

So, like, what would you do?

The script kind of
makes fun of me, huh?

I'm sorry. I was trying something...
Hey, I don't mind. It's funny.

Good. Okay.

So, what would you do?

You and me are so different,
Charles. We're different talents.

Charlie Kaufman :
I know. Just for fun...
How would the great Donald
end this script?

Heh, heh. Shut up.
"The Great Donald."
I feel like you're missing something.

All right. Like what? 


LookI did a little research
on the airplane.

"Sometimes this kind of story
turns out to be something more, some glimpse of life that expands
like those Japanese paper balls you drop in water and they bloom into flowers and the flower is so marvelous you can't believe there was a time all you saw was a paper ball and a glass of water."

First of all, that's inconsistent.
She said she didn't care about flowers.

For God's sake, it's just a metaphor.

No, it’s NOT, it’s a Similie.

Well, but for what?
What turned that paper ball into a flower?
It's not in the book, Charles.

I don't know. You're reaching.


Maybe.
But I think you actually need to
speak to this woman
To know her.

Charlie Kaufman :
I can't. Really. 

I'll go. I'll pretend I'm you.
I want to do it, Charles.

We'll get to the bottom of this.
We're gonna fix your movie, bro.

Charlie Kaufman :
But you've gotta be exactly me.
I have a reputation to maintain.

You can't be a goofball.
Can't be an asshole.

The Donald :
I'm not an asshole.

Charlie Kaufman :
You know what I mean.
No flirting. No bad jokes.
Don't laugh How You Laugh.

The Donald :
I'm not gonna laugh.
I get to have people think I'm you.
It's an honor.


******
The Donald :
So I guess I'll bring out
the big guns now.

Do you keep in touch with Larouche?
I felt I detected an attraction to him
in the subtext. 
Care to comment?

Uh...

Well, our relationship was strictly reporter-subject.

I mean, certainly an intimacy does
evolve in this kind of relationship.

By definition, I was so interested in everything he had to say.

But the relationship ends
when the book ends.

Mendacious deceit


What?

Nothing.

I just have one more question.
If you could have dinner with one
historical personage, living or dead, who would it be?

Uh, well, I would have to say...
Einstein.
Or Jesus.

Very good.
Interesting Answer.

The Donald :
She's lying. 

Charlie Kaufman :
What do you mean?
What happened?

Nothing. She said everything right.
Too right.

Well, maybe because they're True.
Did you embarrass me?

People who answer questions
Too Right are liars.

Everybody says Jesus and Einstein.
That's a prepackaged answer.

"Jesus and Einstein"?
Listen, Charles, I have an idea.
You'll need to buy me
a pair of binoculars.

What's "Jesus and Einstein"?

Come on.

Sing with me.

What the hell do you need binoculars for?

Let's go, let's go.

She hung up the phone.
She's upset.

Stop watching her.
Leave her alone.

She's crying.
She's at her computer.

This is morally reprehensible.

United to Miami.
Eleven fifty-five a.m. Tomorrow.
Thought she was done with Larouche.

Her parents live in Florida.

That was no parent phone call,
my friend.

Don't say "My Friend."

A guy entering.

Handsome.

Must be her husband.

She's acting weird with him, though, right?

Don't you think?

What's she hiding from him?

Maybe she's a lesbian
and doesn't know how to tell him.

What do you think?

Have you checked out Laroche's porn site?

No. I'm trying to read.

Anyway, I'm gonna look at the porn site. Research.

Don't tell my old lady.

You mean Mom?

No, I don't mean Mom.

Still say we should go
to Miami tomorrow.

Forget it.

Some of these chicks look okay.

Hey, guess what.
We're going to Miami tomorrow.

I said, no.
I said, oh, yeah, baby. Come here.

What I came to understand
is that Change is not A Choice.

Not for a species of plant,
and not for me.

It happens, and you are different.

Maybe the only distinction
between the plant and me
is that afterward,
I lied about my change.

I lied in my book.
I pretended with my husband

that everything was the same.

But something happened
in The Swamp that day.

Hey, look —
I told you I'd find
the jewel of the Fakahatchee.

It's A Fower.
Just A Flower.

Well, might as well grab it.
Long as I'm here.

Oh, man.
Boy, my porn site's gonna be big.

Look, something I didn't tell you that 
I want to tell you about The Ghost. Okay?

I think it might help you.

I'd just started at the nursery.
And I went back one night
to pick up something.

They wanted The Ghost
just to extract the drug.

It had been a ceremonial thing,
but the young guys, you know,
they liked to get stoned.

So Matthew?

He was one of the guys who...?
Sure.

Matthew lived on that shit 
till they ran out.

Because there was this one day
he was fascinated by me.

By my hair and my sadness.

Yeah, well, it does that.
That's what I wanted to tell you.

I mean, I think you'd like it, Susie.
It seems to help people 
be fascinated.

I can extract it for you.
I know how. I watched.

I'm probably 
the only white guy who knows.
I want to do this, Susie.

I'm done with orchids, Larouche.

Hello?

Hi.

It's John.

Did you get my package?

John?

John!

Johnny.

Hey, John? Yeah?

Very happy now.

Well, I'm glad.

Very happy.

Um, John? Hm?

Will you go like this...?

No. Keep going.

No. No.

I'm trying to make a dial tone.
And you have to sustain.

And then I will join you, and together...

See, I can't do it by myself.
Which one do you want me to do?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. Here we go.

That's it. We got it.

We got it. That's fucking amazing.

Do you ever get lonely sometimes, Johnny?

Well, I was a weird kid.
Nobody liked me.
But I had this idea...
If I waited long enough, someone would come around and just,
you know, understand me.

Like my mom.

Except Someone Else.

She'd look at me and quietly say,
"Yes."
Just like that.
And I wouldn't be alone anymore.

Oh, I wish I were an ant.
Oh, they're so shiny.

You're shinier than any ant,
darling.

That's the sweetest thing
anybody has ever said to me.

Well,
I like you, that's why.

Monday 26 October 2020

The King Has Cause to Call Upon Extraordinary Grace




The King is rehearsing His Speech, over-coming his stage fright, standing alone side-on to a full-length mirror in a White House anteroom to The Oval Office, awaiting admission to his audience with The Leader of The Free World

“It's an honor, Mr. President."
"Mr. President, I can't tell you what a great honor..."
“Hello, Mr. President, the honor...”


Momentarily crestfallen, he composes himself, turns to face his reflection , and Speaks into The Mirror
 

 
Did you know I had a Twin Brother, Mr. President?
Identical.


Jesse Garon Presley.
He was born 35 minutes before me. Stillborn.

And they... They put him in a box on the kitchen table
while Momma kept on going trying to push me out.
 Sometimes I wonder about that, you know.


What that 35 minutes must have been like for her.

The Happiest Moment and The Saddest Moment Life could possibly throw at you.

Sometimes I think, God felt guilty for her, so he gave me the luck that was meant for Two People.


Makes you think, you know.





“Dear President Nixon,

First, I would like to introduce myself — I am Elvis Presley, and I admire you, and have great respect for your office.

I talked to Vice President Agnew in Palm Springs three weeks ago and expressed my concern for Our Country. 

The drug culture, the hippie elements, the SDS, Black Panthers, etc. do not consider me as their enemy or as they call it The Establishment. 

I call it America and I love it. 

Sir, I can and will be of any service that I can to help The Country out. 

I have no concern or motives other than helping The Country out.”


THE KING :
Mr. President — This is my little angel.
Lisa Marie. She's two years old.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Well, she is a beautiful little girl.

THE KING :
Yes, sir. She's my pride and joy.
And this is my beautiful wife, Cilla.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Well, she is very charming.

BUD KROEG :
Mr. President.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Bud.

BUD KROEG :
Mr. Presley.

THE KING :
These M&Ms are great.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Good to hear, Mr. Presley.

THE KING :
You got some good fellas working for you, Mr. President.
My guys are outside.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Thank you.
So, as I really do need to be going we should probably get to what you want to...

THE KING :
These are some of my closest associates.
And contrary to what you may have heard, Mr. President, they are not part of any mafia.
That is just a crazy rumor started by nasty journalists.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
They love to make it up, don't they?
Last month, Look magazine made up some cockamamie drivel about how I broke into the Dean's office while I was at Duke.
You know, you give a man enough money and he'll say anything, you know.
 
They'll just ruin a man's reputation.
They don't give a good goddamn.

THE KING :
They just write what they want.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Hear, hear to that.
Everyone has a badge.

THE KING :
Mr. President, I've shown you these photos because I am deeply concerned about the direction our great nation is taking.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Yes, of course.
Now, I'm gonna need an autograph for my Julie.

THE KING :
That's your family there?
Those are some good looking kids.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Well, they really take after their mother.

THE KING :
Well, it takes two good lookin' folks to make a good lookin' baby, Mr. President.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Are you...
You're saying, as a gentleman, I'm good looking too?

THE KING :
Well, of course, Mr. President.
Everybody knows that.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Well, I...

THE KING :
Now, plainly speaking, sir, I want to get people to respect our country.
To respect our flag.
 
Because that's what's getting lost in our nation.
It bothers me to see young people burning flags and smoking dope.
 
And just because I don't smoke dope or grow a beard does that make me a straight? Or a square?
Because if it does, heck, I'll take being a straight or a square any day of the week.
 
The kids today are being brainwashed, Mr. President.
It's what they are listenin' to and what they are watchin'.
That's what's doing it to them.
 
Take that Woodstock for example.
What the heck was that?
 
I'll tell you what it was, it was an excuse to get naked, get high and roll around in the mud.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Well, I'm with you there.

KROEG :
Four, three, two, one... Mr. President, you have your meet and greet.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
No, not right now. Thank you.



KROEG :
But it's with the delegation...

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
I said it's fine.



KROEG :
But it's with the donors...

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
I said it can wait.
And Krogh, make sure that we get a picture with Mr. Presley and me.
Ollie's outside, he's ready for you.

THE KING :
No pictures.



KROEG :
Mr. Presley, it's standard for us.



THE KING :
I understand. But not today.
Now, if you don't mind...

May I continue?

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
By all means.

THE KING :
Thank you. I have it on very good authority that many of the so-called underground groups have been infiltrated by communists.
 
Yes, sir. And I find it downright anti-American.
Just like The Beatles.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
The Beatles. Well, I don't like them.

THE KING :
They are anti-American, possibly with communist leanings.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Well, just look at them.

THE KING :
Let's look at the facts, Mr. President.
After coming here and making all that money, they split back to England, start saying all this anti-American stuff, speaking against us in the press.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Well, some people think they can say anything.

THE KING :
Specifically about our policies in Southeast Asia, sir.
Did you know that?

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
I did not know that.

THE KING :
It was Lennon.
The kids think he's some kind of prophet.
And well... What I'm trying to say is, sir, they may not actually be in the employ of the communists, but if encouraging Revolution doesn't sound like subversive propaganda, I don't know what is.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Well, right. Yes.

THE KING :
See, I've been studying communist brainwashing techniques for over 10 years now.
And the drug culture, too, Mr. President.
And it's my belief that if we don't do something to handle this situation very quickly, it could very easily get outta hand.

Well, you wanna know why the hell the communists are so against drugs?
It's because they love the booze.
 
Especially the Russians. I've seen it.
You talk about "out of hand."
 
And that's why communists and the left-wingers are clinging to one another, because they're trying to destroy us, Elvis.

THE KING :
I know, sir. Good, honest Americans.
They hate it.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
They don't hate us, Elvis — they hate what we stand for.
I mean, you and me, we rose from nothing.
My pa worked in a grocery store.
Your father was a sharecropper, yes?

THE KING :
A whole slew of things, sir.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Well, I think we were both somewhat loners.
 
And look where I am today.
And look where you are.
 
Well, a lefty sees that, and instead of wanting to walk in our footsteps, why, they get jealous.
 
It brings all their failures up bubbling right in front of their faces and, well, so, of course they react like caged animals.
 
Because that's what they are.
Just animals.

THE KING :
I know, sir.
And I want to help to stop it.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Well, I think that is just great.
Absolutely.
 
So, my boys were telling me something like a concert.
A telethon. A television special.

THE KING :
No, sir.
I want to go undercover.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Undercover?

THE KING :
Yes.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
You want to be an actual...
I'm sorry, you want to what?

THE KING :
I want to be an agent-at-large.
 
You see, if I can get a Federal Narcotics badge it is my belief that I could protect this nation from sliding into anarchy.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Well... I...

THE KING :
Let's say I could infiltrate a band or a hippie commune, as a spy or a double agent, something like that, only disguising myself as one of them, hiding my own true feelings.

THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD :
Yeah, I'm not sure how...

THE KING :
Let's say The Rolling Stones,  or the Grateful Dead or maybe even the Black Panthers.
Heck, I could probably slip from one group to the other without even being detected.
 
And then, just when they let their guard down, I'd bust 'em.
I'd bust 'em all.
 
Of course, I would have to be so deep undercover so that no one would know it was me.
 
But in order for that to happen, nobody...
I mean nobody, can know about this on the outside.
Just a select few.

You, of course, Mr. President...
And maybe Mr. Hoover.