(KNOCK AT DOOR)
Oh! Hello, dear. I’m Agnes, your neighbor to the right. My right, not yours. Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the block. My mother-in-law was in town, so I wasn’t.
(CHUCKLES)
So, what’s your name? Where are you from? And most importantly, how’s your bridge game, hon?
I’m Wanda.
Wanda. Charmed. Golly, you settled in fast! Did you use a moving company?
I sure did. Those boxes
don’t move themselves.
(AGNES CHUCKLES)
So what’s a single gal like you doing
rattling around this big house?
Oh, no, I’m not single.
Oh, I don’t see a ring.
Well, I assure you I’m married. To a man.
A human one and tall. As a matter of fact,
he’ll be home later tonight
for a special occasion.
Just the two of us.
Oh, is it somebody’s birthday?
Not a birthday.
Well, today isn’t a holiday, is it?
No, it’s not a holiday.
An anniversary then?
Ye… Yes! Yes! It’s our anniversary!
Oh, how marvelous! How many years?
Well, it feels like we’ve always been together.
Lucky gal. The only way Ralph would remember
our anniversary is if there was
a beer named June 2nd.
(CHUCKLES)
So, what do you have planned?
How do you mean?
For your special night. A young thing
like you doesn’t have to do much,
but it’s still fun to set the scene.
Say, I was just reading a
crackerjack magazine article called
“How To Treat Your Husband
To Keep Your Husband,”
and let me tell you, what
Ralph could really use is,
“How To Goose Your Wife
So You Don’t Lose Your Wife.”
Hang on. I’ll go grab it and we can start
planning. Oh, this is gonna be a gas!
(GIGGLES)
(GASPS)
Oh…
(SONG PLAYING THROUGH RADIO)
♫ Or you don’t go out Friday night Yakety yak! ♫
♫ You just put on your coat and hat ♫
