“There is some confusion
as to what Magic actually is.
I think this can be cleared up
if you just look at
the very earliest
descriptions of Magic.
Magic in its earliest form
is often referred to as “The Art”.
I believe this is
completely literal.
I Believe that Magic is Art
and that Art, whether it be Writing,
Music, Sculpture, or any other form
is literally Magic.
Art is, like Magic,
The Science of manipulating
Symbols, Words, or
Images, to achieve
Changes in Consciousness.
The very language about magic
seems to be talking as much about
writing or art as it is about
supernatural events.
A grimmoir for example,
the book of spells
is simply a fancy way
of saying grammar.
Indeed, to cast a spell,
is simply to spell,
to manipulate words,
to change people's consciousness.
And I believe that this is why an artist or writer is the closest thing in the contemporary world that you are likely to see to a Shaman.
I believe that all Culture must have arisen from Cult.
Originally, all of the facets of our culture,
whether they be in the arts or sciences
were the province of the Shaman.
The fact that in present times, this magical power has degenerated to the level of cheap entertainment and manipulation, is,
I think, a tragedy.
At the moment the people
who are using
Shamanism and Magic
to shape our culture
are advertisers.
Rather than try
to wake people up,
their Shamanism
is used as an opiate
to tranquillise people,
to make people more manipulable.
Their magic box of television,
and by their magic words,
their jingles
can cause everyone
in the country
to be thinking
the same words
and have
the same banal thoughts
all at exactly
the same moment.
In all of magic there is an incredibly large linguistic component.
The Bardic tradition of Magic
would place a bard
as being much higher
and more fearsome
than A Magician.
A Magician might curse you —
That might make your hens lay funny
or you might have
a child born with a club foot.
If a Bard were to place not a curse upon you, but a satire,
then that could destroy you.
If it was a clever satire,
it might not just destroy you
in the eyes of your associates;
it would destroy you
in the eyes of your family.
It would destroy you
in your own eyes.
And if it was a finely worded and clever satire
that might survive and be remembered for decades,
even centuries.
Then years after you were dead people still might be reading it
and laughing at you
and your wretchedness
and your absurdity.
Writers and people who had command of words
were respected and feared as people who manipulated magic.
In latter times I think that
artists and writers
have allowed themselves
to be sold down the river.
They have accepted
the prevailing belief
that art and writing
are merely forms
of entertainment.
They’re not seen as transformative forces
that can change a human being;
that can change A Society.
They are seen as
simple entertainment;
things with which we can
fill 20 minutes, half an hour,
while we’re waiting to die.
It’s not the job of The Artist
to give The Audience
What The Audience WANTS.
If The Audience knew
what they needed,
then they wouldn’t
be The Audience —
they would be The Artists.
It is The Job of Artists
to give The Audience
what they need.
— Alan Moore
“A vaudeville was originally
a comedy without psychological or moral intentions,
based on a comical situation : a dramatic composition or light poetry,
interspersed with songs or ballets.”
[Big Top]
(It is dark and quiet as The Doctor and Ace enter. They whisper to each other.)
ACE:
Professor.
Time's Champion :
Yes?
ACE:
I can't see a thing.
Time's Champion :
Neither can I.
ACE:
And the cheering's stopped.
Time's Champion :
Perhaps we're between performances.
Let's see if we can find a seat.
(The Doctor feels his way to the stands and climbs the steps. He stubs his toe.)
ACE:
Found somewhere to sit, Professor?
Time's Champion :
That's one way of looking at it,
if we could see. Over here.
ACE:
What?
Time's Champion :
I said, over here.
(They settle down.)
Time's Champion :
In a moment, our eyes'll
get used to The Darkness.
ACE:
Assuming there's
anything worth seeing.
(There is a rustling noise nearby.)
Time's Champion :
Listen.
(On the row above them sits a 1950's family,
Father, Mother
and a little girl between them.
They are eating a noisy snack.)
GIRL:
Daddy. Daddy.
DAD:
What?
GIRL:
I want an ice cream.
DAD:
You've already had one.
GIRL:
But Daddy.
DAD:
I told you once
and I'm not going to
tell you again.
Now shut up and
eat your popcorn.
Time's Champion :
We're not alone.
ACE:
Yeah, but it looks like
it's just Us and Them.
What a con.
I mean, where's
Mags and the Captain?
Time's Champion :
Perhaps they haven't arrived yet.
Who knows?
Anyway, I'm going to have
an ice cream.
MUM:
They should be
starting up again soon.
Have a crisp, Father.
Time's Champion :
Greetings.
Not many in today, are there.
Are you regulars
or is this your first visit, too?
Let me introduce myself. I'm —
(The Mother holds out the bag of crisps.)
Time's Champion :
Oh, thank you very much.
Delicious.
(The circus music starts and the lights come up.)
ACE:
Professor. Professor, it's starting.
Time's Champion :
Well, it's been a pleasure.
(The Doctor returns to sit with Ace as the ring fills with tumbling and juggling clowns.)
Time's Champion :
Remarkable.
ACE:
If you like this sort of thing.
Time's Champion :
No, no, I mean the memorial stones.
Do you see them? Look.
(Placed at intervals around the ring are old carved stones.
The Ringmaster enters and the clowns freeze.)
RINGMASTER:
Now welcome folks,
I mean that from the heart,
because The Greatest Show
is about to start.
It's happening right here
before your very eyes
and one thing's for sure,
you're in for quite a surprise.
But then, nothing's quite
as it seems to be at
The Greatest Show in the Galaxy.
(The Ringmaster adjusts the controls in the back of one clown and it does a somersault.)
RINGMASTER:
Now welcome folks,
we've got a brand new act.
He's a real find and no doubt
that's a fact.
He'll entertain you,
he'll make you stare,
and our great new act
is seated over there…!
(The spotlight falls on the Doctor.)
Time's Champion :
Oh, thank you, but —
RINGMASTER:
Come on, Doctor. Don't be shy.
Time's Champion :
Well, I'm not really sure
that I should.
RINGMASTER:
Oh, no false modesty.
We know you're Good.
Time's Champion :
Well, this is most unexpected.
Are you sure you want me?
RINGMASTER:
There's no mistake, Doc.
Come on in. Feel free.
ACE:
Don't go, Professor.
Time's Champion :
Why, what harm could it do?
RINGMASTER:
Exactly. But the decision's up to you.
(Wearing a big grin, the Doctor pushes past Ace and hurries down the ring, to canned applause.)
ACE:
No, Doctor!
(The Doctor has barely got into the ring when the clowns start throwing their clubs past him, front and back.)
Time's Champion :
Well, you certainly didn't waste any time.
I had expected to see what the opposition was up to
before I put myself forward for the talent contest.
(Ace tries to run out of the Big Top but is surrounded by clowns behind the seating where the Doctor cannot see.)
Time's Champion :
But since you insist.
RINGMASTER:
Oh, we do, but no doubt
you'd like to get yourself
prepared first.
Time's Champion :
Well, yes, I —
RINGMASTER:
Let me show you and your charming assistant to your dressing room.
Time's Champion :
Oh, thank you very much. Ace!
CLOWN:
Where did you find that earring?
ACE:
Are you a robot too?
CLOWN:
No.
ACE:
Pity.
CLOWN:
So tell me where you found it.
(Ace gets away.)
CLOWN:
After her.
[Backstage]
RINGMASTER:
Right this way, Doctor.
Time's Champion :
Thank you very much, but where's Ace? I don't think she —
RINGMASTER:
Oh, she'll be coming.
CAPTAIN [OC]: Iniphitus, where the Galvanic Catastrophods are not what they were.
(The Doctor looks through to where the Captain is drinking tea and talking at a bored Nord while Mags is staring at nothing.)
CAPTAIN:
No, but they're still worth a look if you're doing a tour of the southern nebula and have an eon or two to spare. You. Well, well.
Time's Champion : Captain Cook, I presume. So you had arrived after all.
CAPTAIN:
But of course. Come and join us, Doctor. It's one big happy family here, eh, Nord?
NORD: Except when you're gassing on.
Time's Champion : Well, I don't really think I
CAPTAIN: Nonsense, we're having a ball here.
Time's Champion : Very well then. Mags. Do sit down, Doctor.
(Mags give up her seat next to the Captain and pours out some tea.)
Time's Champion : Thank you very much.
CAPTAIN: Yes, there we are. Comfy?
Time's Champion : Yes.
CAPTAIN: That's the spirit.
(Bars slide down over the entrance, then the curtains are all pulled back to reveal that the quartet are actually in a - )
[Cage]
CAPTAIN: Anything the matter, old chap?
Time's Champion : It's a trap! I've fallen into a trap! I've fallen for it.
CAPTAIN: Yes, I know, old boy. Never mind. Have some tea. A very similar thing happened to me once, you know.
(Ace uses the pin of the earring to slash the billowing fabric of the backstage corridors and hide from the pursuing clowns.)
Time's Champion : Why?
CAPTAIN: Why what?
Time's Champion : Why let me be trapped? It's so pointless. I could have saved you, Nord and Mags.
CAPTAIN: I wouldn't be too sure about that, Doctor. These circus chappies are pretty smart customers for all their let it all hang out mumbo jumbo.
MAGS: Maybe we could have escaped if we'd made a break for it there and then. If only you'd
CAPTAIN: Now, now, Mags. No use in getting upset, and that's an order.
Time's Champion : What about you? I mean, why didn't you speak up?
(Nord growls. The Doctor growls back.)
Time's Champion : What kind of answer's that?
CAPTAIN: Save your energy, Doctor. You'll soon see why. Anyway, all of us in here have developed a survival philosophy, which is why we welcomed you in.
Time's Champion :
What is all this, then?
I thought there was
a talent contest going on.
CAPTAIN:
Well, yes, but in a way
it's more like a survival of the fittest.
(A man in a suede jacket pushes a broom round the outside of the cage.)
CAPTAIN:
Oh, that's Deadbeat.
Yes, he does odd jobs about the place,
makes the tea for me, things like that.
Don't bother too much about him, though.
Fellow's mind's completely gone.
DEADBEAT:
Gone. Gone. Oh really gone.
All really gone down the road again.
[Cage]
(The zapping noise can be heard and the strobing lights seen.)
Time's Champion :
Is this what you saw before?
MAGS: Not exactly, but just as bad.
(There is a peal of thunder then a big flash, and smoke. The Ringmaster picks up a piece of charred leather from the middle of the ring to canned applause.)
Time's Champion : Would you let something like that happen to you?
MAGS: Would you?
[Ticket office]
WHIZZKID: It must be awfully exciting working for the Psychic Circus, Morgana. Particularly when you did your tour of the Boreatic Wastes. I think that most of your admirers would agree with me that that was one of your finest ever gigs. Well, in so far as you can tell from the posters
MORGANA: Would you like to be getting along inside?
WHIZZKID: You mean I can go in, just like that?
MORGANA: Yes. Go right now, please.
WHIZZKID: Oh wow!
[Cage]
(The Doctor is practising his juggling with Mags.)
CAPTAIN: Mags.
MAGS: What?
CAPTAIN: It's not going to work. I remember when I was on the baleful plains of Grolon, I
MAGS: I don't care.
Time's Champion : Ready?
(Mags and the Doctor go to the cage door, where a pair robot clowns stand guard.)
Time's Champion : I believe I'm on first.
MAGS: No, I'm ahead of you.
Time's Champion : No, you're not.
MAGS: No, I am.
Time's Champion : I insist on going out first.
MAGS: Oh no, you don't.
Time's Champion : Oh yes, I do!
[Big Top]
(The Ringmaster enters.)
RINGMASTER: Now listen folks, we have a great new act. He's a real find, there's no doubt that's a fact. He'll entertain you, he'll make you stare, and our great new act is seated over there!
(The spotlight finds Whizzkid.)
MUM: I hope he's better than the last one.
DAD: Couldn't be much worse.
GIRL: Mum, Mum.
MUM: Shut up and eat your popcorn.
[Cage]
Time's Champion : Look, I insist in going on first.
MAGS: I told you, I am.
Time's Champion : I am!
(The clowns come over and the door slides up. The Doctor and Mags knock them out with the clubs.)
Time's Champion : Join the club. Captain?
CAPTAIN:
No thanks, old boy. I'll sit this one out.
Goodbye, Mags.
MAGS:
Bye, Captain.
ckstage]
Time's Champion :
Something dreadful's
happening in the ring.
Things are getting out of control
quicker than I expected.
DAD [OC]:
Calling The Doctor.
Calling the Doctor.
Time's Champion :
Nothing will satisfy Them
but my presence.
MAGS:
I'm coming back in there with you.
Time's Champion :
No. You must run and get
Ace and Deadbeat.
(Mags runs off.)
Time's Champion :
I must prepare for my entrance.
Never keep your audience waiting.
(The clowns chase Mags outside, then they head for the hearse. Down in the well, the eye gets bigger.)
[Ticket office]
(A wind starts to blow.)
Time's Champion :
I'm coming.
Open a pathway for me.
Once small step for mankind,
one great leap,
or words to that effect —
(The Doctor pulls apart the canvas entrance to the Circus and steps into a kaleidoscope world of noise and colour. He fights his way through with gritted teeth to -)
[Arena]
(A semi-circular sand floor, grey stone walls with one grilled doorway, and three large figures sitting on thrones looking down.)
Time's Champion :
And here we all are at last.
I'm surprised you brought me here.
It must be very difficult for you,
trying to exist concurrently
in two different time spaces.
I know the problem myself.
No wonder those memorial stones looked familiar.
The Gods of Ragnarok,
I presume.
[By the snack stall]
(The stallholder has hitched the stall to her horse and is manoeuvring it to turn round. Mags jumps over the hitch and keeps running.)
STALLHOLDER:
Don't you frighten my horse like that, you hippie weirdo.
(The hearse has to stop and sound its horn.)
STALLHOLDER:
Shut up, circus riff-raff.
You don't own this planet, you know.
[Arena]
Time's Champion :
How many people have you destroyed, I wonder,
before Kingpin
was lured down here.
Poor Kingpin.
That's what you like, isn't it.
Taking someone with a touch
of individuality and imagination,
and wearing them down to nothingness
in Your Service.
DAD:
Enough.
MUM:
You have said enough.
Time's Champion :
Enough? I've hardly started.
I have fought
The Gods of Ragnarok
all through time.
(The Doctor looks at his watch.)
DAD:
You are in our true
time space now, Doctor.
There is no appeal beyond its confines to any other.
Time's Champion :
Don't tell me what you want me to do.
Let me guess. Now let me see.
You want me to —
DAD:
Entertain us.
MUM:
Entertain us.
DAD:
Or die. So long as
you entertain us, you may live.
MUM:
When you no longer
entertain us, you die.
Time's Champion :
Predictable as ever,
Gods of Ragnarok.
As I think it's been said before,
or was it after? Anyway,
You ain't seen nothin' yet.
(The Doctor leans and swings round at a remarkable angle.)
[Segonax]
(Ace and Deadbeat meet Mags.)
ACE:
Hey, Mags!
Where's The Doctor?
MAGS:
Back at the circus.
ACE:
So you're on your own now?
MAGS:
Not exactly. Look.
(Here comes the hearse. Mags sees the completed medallion.)
MAGS:
That's what they're after.
DEADBEAT:
Oh, I might have guessed.
ACE:
So how do we get it back to The Doctor?
Oh, dumbo! Not you two, me.
I've got an idea. Come on!
MAGS:
Wrong way!
ACE:
Not for this.
Come on, Kingpin!
[Arena]
(The Doctor has a table in front of him, with a large pan and its cover.)
Time's Champion :
Thank you very much,
Ladies and Gentlemen,
for that overwhelming reception.
And now, I would like to begin
like Life, at The Beginning.
But how did Life begin?
Was it with a chicken
or was it with -
DAD:
What?
(The Doctor produces an egg from his mouth and puts it in the pan. Then a second one which goes into his hand and disappears.)
MUM:
Don't try our patience.
(She throws a lightning bolt near the Doctor.)
DAD:
Don't play games.
Time's Champion :
You're not interested in beginnings.
You're only interested in endings.
[Campsite]
MAGS:
Oh no, not that thing again.
Come on.
DEADBEAT:
Dumbo. Bellboy's robot.
ACE:
Dead right, Kingpin.
(The three hide behind the robot as the hearse pulls up and the clowns run out.)
CLOWN:
Bellboy's greatest mistake.
What a place to choose.
You may have The Eye again, Deadbeat,
but you won't use it.
You know that.
You're not strong enough!
You weren't before.
DEADBEAT:
At least I tried.
You just gave in.
CLOWN:
Yes, and I shall get my reward.
Last chance, Deadbeat.
We really believed in all that talk
of Peace and Love
ACE:
This thing had better work,
or I'll kick its head in.
(Ace jabs at the remote control. After a few moments, the robot lasers one of the robot clowns, then the other three. Finally it kills the clown himself and keeps firing as Ace keeps pushing buttons. Then it goes quiet.)
MAGS:
For a moment I thought you weren't going to be able to make it stop.
ACE:
Funny you should say that.
DEADBEAT:
He used to be a great clown.
ACE:
I've never liked clowns.
[Arena]
(To the strains of Narcissus being played on a violin, the Doctor produces a length of rope and ties the ends together.)
Time's Champion :
What, no complaints?
No arguments?
No thunderbolts?
(The rope falls into a single length with the knot still in it.)
DAD:
No, Doctor.
MUM:
We're not concerned that
You're Playing for Time.
(The Doctor has untied the knot and is now fastening the two pieces of rope together. Then he stands on a loose end and pulls it into a single piece of rope again.)
DAD:
We have A Saying :
Time's Champion :
Let me guess —
Give yourself enough rope
and you hang yourself.
(The Doctor looks at his watch again.)
[Campsite]
ACE:
Kingpin.
DEADBEAT:
I only hope we make it in time.
The Doctor's stronger than I ever was,
but even he can't hold out against them forever.
(Mags, Ace and Deadbeat get into the hearse.)
ACE:
He'll have a good stab at it, though.
[Arena]
DAD:
You are nearing
The End, Doctor.
Time's Champion :
A piece of rope
has two ends,
Father Ragnarok.
(The Doctor coils the rope into the pan.
Then he produces a long candle from his handkerchief and lights it with a flame apparently from his palm.
He puts the lit candle to the pan with bursts into flames,
briefly puts the cover over it to extinguish them and removes a snake from it.
Mum throws a thunderbolt.)
MUM:
Feel the rain, Doctor.
DAD:
Feel the chill in your bones.
(The Doctor turns around and the snake turns into his umbrella. He puts it up just before the downpour starts.)
[By the Ticket Office]
(The wind is still howling. Ace stops to look at the crystal ball.)
DEADBEAT:
Ace, quick! Come on!
[Arena]
(The Doctor is attempting to escape from a strait-jacket whilst hanging by his ankles from a rope.)
DAD:
Doctor.
Time's Champion :
Yes?
DAD:
You are trifling with us.
Time's Champion :
Really? I thought
I was entertaining you.
(He gets the strait-jacket off.)
DAD:
You are on the brink
of Destruction, Doctor.
We want something bigger, something better.
Time's Champion :
Do you, now?
[Big Top]
(Deadbeat, Mags and Ace run into the deserted ring.)
ACE:
The Doctor must be here somewhere.
DEADBEAT:
Well, he may already be in
The Dark Circus with The Gods.
If so, there's only one way
we can reach him.
MAGS:
The Stone Chamber.
ACE:
And the medallion?
DEADBEAT:
Yeah. We must be careful.
They're bound to sense its presence.
[Arena]
(The Doctor is back on his feet.)
Time's Champion :
Do I have your full attention?
(He checks his wrist watch.)
[Ticket Office]
DEADBEAT:
You do realise that
They'll try anything to stop us?
ACE:
Yes. Let's go.
(Behind the advertising boards, the Captain sits up from the stretcher and puts on his pith helmet.)
[Arena]
Time's Champion :
The climax of My Act,
Gods of Ragnarok,
requires something
You Do Not Possess
in great abundance.
That is, Imagination.
And it starts with
A Piece of Metal.
This Piece of Metal
once belonged to
A Sword,
and that Sword
belonged to
A Gladiator.
(The Doctor throws the piece of metal into the air, where it transforms into a gladius, and then a long sword drops into his hand.)
Time's Champion :
And That Gladiator
fought and died
in this ring to
entertain you.
[Stone chamber]
(Deadbeat stops at the well.)
ACE:
Go for it, Kingpin.
(But the Eye is staring back up at him. He backs away.)
MAGS:
Kingpin, please.
ACE:
Well, one of us had better try.
(Deadbeat holds out the medallion and shuts his eyes. The Captain hits him in the kidneys and catches the medallion as he falls.)
CAPTAIN:
Perhaps I might relieve you of that.
MAGS:
Captain, I thought
You were Dead.
CAPTAIN:
I am, my dear. I am.
[Arena]
Time's Champion :
I have fed you enough,
Gods of Ragnarok,
and you found
what I have to offer indigestible.
So I have taken myself
off The Menu.
La comedia e finita.
DAD:
We Command You.
MUM:
You Cannot Stop.
Time's Champion :
I already have.
DAD:
Then You Will Die.
Time's Champion :
Probably not --
It's all a matter of Timing,
don't you know.
(The Doctor points The Sword to The Ground.)
[Stone chamber]
ACE:
Oi, sarcophagus face!
(The Captain turns and Mags kicks the medallion out of his hand and into the well. It lands on the sword and the Doctor uses it to reflect the Gods' Thunderbolts back at Them.
The Eye in the well grows.)
DEADBEAT:
Quick.
CAPTAIN:
You know, when I was on
The Planet Periboea,
I met someone who walked around
when he was already dead.
I must say, as an experience
I'd say it's very overrated.
(The Captain falls into the well.)
[Ticket office]
DEADBEAT:
Look. Get down!
(The crystal ball explodes.
In the arena, the Gods stop firing laser bolts at the Doctor and slump in their seats. The walls crack and buckle. The Doctor throws the sword and medallion at them then raises his hat as the whole place falls apart.
The Big Top crumples as the arena disintegrates. The Doctor walks out and doesn't flinch as an explosion occurs just behind him.)
[Segonax]
(A huge red pillar of smoke climbs to the sky. The Stallholder speaks to her horse.)
STALLHOLDER:
It's what I've always said --
No consideration for those of us that live here.
[Outside the Circus]
Time's Champion :
Enjoying The Show, Ace?
ACE :
Yeah. It was Your Show all along, wasn't it?
MAGS:
The Captain really is finished now, isn't he?
Time's Champion :
Yes. But you're just about to start.
DEADBEAT:
Doctor, I've been thinking.
Time's Champion :
What better way for a circus to begin
than with a wonderful new act.
ACE:
Yeah, weird and wonderful. Nice one, Professor. You'll knock them dead.
MAGS:
That's just what I'm afraid of.
What if I can't control it?
Time's Champion :
Oh, you can, Mags.
You already have.
DEADBEAT:
What about it, Doctor? You and Ace.
Join Kingpin's new circus
and travel The Galaxy with us.
Time's Champion :
Thank you, Kingpin, but I'm afraid we've got other galaxies to travel. And besides, I find circuses a little sinister.
