"I am the bearded cow-like sea beast."

CHUCK BURKS: Compadres. I teased out something very fabulous from your pottery there.

(Recorded sound of a man speaking a foreign language.)

CHUCK BURKS: Layered in under the ambience there. Guess what language that is.

(MULDER is tired. He has had a bad day.)

MULDER: Chuck, I've had a bad day.

CHUCK BURKS: It's a dead language. I had a linguist in here to listen to the recording. It's Aramaic.

SCULLY: That's the language that Christ spoke. (she looks up at MULDER) Did your linguist happen to translate it?

CHUCK BURKS: Yes, he did. It's in two parts. The first part here roughly translates as "I am the walrus. I am the walrus. Paul is dead. Coo-coo-ca-choo." (SCULLY gives a look.) Although there is no Aramaic word for "walrus." So it literally says "I am the bearded cow-like sea beast."

Richard Branson

DICK BRANSON is a dead groovy guy. All ready famous as a pickle mogul, a music baron and a record breaker, the world's richest bearded git now moves into the world of Giant Robot Destroying! Yes, those wicked shape-changing Decepticon robots really meet their match when they cross dicks with Dick in issue 160 of the crap comic Transformers. Basically this giant robot shark is well pissed off with Dick and tries to do him but Dick's too hard. Does this mark a new era of Dick style superheroes? Superdick? The Incredible Hippy? Spider Branson? Captain Capitalist? Thrills hopes not.

Steven Wells, New Musical Express

Elton's Beard

...and then the drinking commenced.