The Godmother

INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT 

The Surgeon General is waiting, dressed in formal attire. 

Bartlet walks in.

BARTLET 

Good evening.

DR. GRIFFITH 

Good evening, Mr. President.

BARTLET 

I'm sorry about this.

DR. GRIFFITH 

Yes, sir.

BARTLET 

Is that your resignation?

DR. GRIFFITH 

[holds up the paper] 

Yes, sir.

BARTLET 

Thank you.

DR. GRIFFITH 

On thinking about it, I felt your firing me would send a dangerous signal to whomever had my job next.

BARTLET 

Did you not think that playing down the dangers of drug use sent a dangerous signal as well?

DR. GRIFFITH 

I do not believe that is what I did, sir. I was asked, by and large, if marijuana holds the same addictive properties as heroin or LSD; it does not. I was asked if marijuana poses a greater health risk than nicotine and alcohol, and in my opinion, it does not. And I believe if you look at the transcript...

BARTLET 

Millie, did you put her up to it?

DR. GRIFFITH

Sir?

BARTLET 

"My father won't fire the Surgeon General, he would never do that." 

You didn't put her up to it?

DR. GRIFFITH 

No, sir.

BARTLET 

You didn't pick up the phone after Josh came to see you and say, 

"Ellie, it's your godmother, let's stick it to your old man, and paint him into a corner?"

DR. GRIFFITH 

No, sir.

BARTLET 

Why haven't I ever been able to get her to like me? 

I'm asking you.

DR. GRIFFITH 

Sir, I'm not sure it's appropriate...

BARTLET 

I'm asking you.

DR. GRIFFITH 

Well, I think you're wrong.

BARTLET 

I'm not.

DR. GRIFFITH 

She worships you, Mr. President...

BARTLET 

She's mad at me.

Dr. Griffith 

Well, you're mad at her.

BARTLET 

Yes, I am!

DR. GRIFFITH 

Sir...

BARTLET 

I was running for President, where the hell was she?

DR. GRIFFITH 

She was with us.

BARTLET 

Not like Zoey and Liz.

DR. GRIFFITH 

Sir...

BARTLET 

She's always belonged to Abbey.

DR. GRIFFITH 

You frightened her.

BARTLET 

No, I didn't!

DR. GRIFFITH 

Sir...

BARTLET 

How did I frighten her?

DR. GRIFFITH 

Jed, look where you're standing!

BARTLET 

I was elected two years ago, she's 24 years old!

DR. GRIFFITH 

You've been The King of whatever room you walked into her entire life.

BARTLET 

It never seemed to intimidate Zoey or Liz.

DR. GRIFFITH 

Well, kids are different, they're not the same! 

You would be amazed, you'd be stunned at how soon they understand they're not Their Father's Favorite.

BARTLET 

That's not true.

DR. GRIFFITH 

Sir...

BARTLET 

That's not true.

DR. GRIFFITH

Mr. President...

BARTLET 

No, no, no. 

I will bear with the nonsense of the Christian right and the Hollywood left and the AFL-CIO and the AARP and the Canubus society and Japan, but I will not stand and allow someone to tell me that I love one of my children less than the others. 

[walks to the glass door] 

She's frightened of me?

DR. GRIFFITH 

She ain't the only one.

BARTLET 

I wanted to be so mad at her. I heard the news and my first thought was.. My god, "King Lear" is a good play. [sighs] "My father won't fire the Surgeon General, he would never do that." 

I wanted to be so mad at her. 

But the truth is, it's the nicest thing she's ever said about me.

DR. GRIFFITH 

Well, good night, sir.

BARTLET 

Good night.

Dr. Griffith walks to the door.

BARTLET 

Hey, doc!

DR. GRIFFITH 

Sir?

BARTLET 

I don't accept it.

DR. GRIFFITH 

I'm sorry, sir?

BARTLET 

I don't accept your resignation.

DR. GRIFFITH Sir, I appreciate that, but Leo's right. This shouldn't stop you from doing the bigger things.

BARTLET 

These are the bigger things. 

I don't accept your resignation. [hands her the paper] 

You work for me. 

You go when I tell you to.

DR. GRIFFITH 

You're an excellent role model, Mr. President.

BARTLET 

[walking out the glass door, turns] 

Yes, I know.

DR. GRIFFITH 

So you're back.

BARTLET [from outside] 

Yes, indeed.

CUT TO: INT. THE MOVIE THEATER - NIGHT Bartlet walks to Josh.

BARTLET 

Tell C.J., when she gives Millie our support on Monday, she can mean it.

JOSH [stands up] 

You know, it's going to seem to some people like you did it 'case your daughter asked you to.

BARTLET 

You know, Josh, I think if you ever have a daughter, you're going to discover there are worse reasons in the world to do something. 

Sit down, we're coming to the good part.

He walks past him to sit near Ellie.

MAN 1 [on movie] 

What is he doing?

MAN 2 [on movie] 

He's wondering why that key doesn't fit. He's going round to the main entrance. He stopped again...

BARTLET [to Ellie] 

How you doing?

ELLIE Hmmm?

BARTLET I said, how you doing?

ELLIE Fine.

BARTLET You know, we're coming up to the good part.

ELLIE Dad, people are trying to watch the movie.

BARTLET You want to bet me your tuition no one in this room is going to shush me?

Ellie shakes her head.

BARTLET I hear you're thinking about ophthalmology.

ELLIE [not looking at him] Oncology.

BARTLET [not looking at her either] Why would you want to study people's feet?

ELLIE That's podiatry.

BARTLET That's children's medicine.

ELLIE Pediatrics.

BARTLET I thought it was obstetrics.

ELLIE That's pregnant women.

BARTLET And what's the study of feet?

ELLIE [looking at him] Dad, you're not going to make me laugh.

BARTLET Hmmm? [beat, while he looks at her gently] The only thing you ever had to do to make me happy was come home at the end of the day.

Ellie looks like she's about to cry.

BARTLET So, endocrinology would be what? Disorders of the gallbladder?

ELLIE [chokes the word] Thyroid.

BARTLET I'm pretty sure you're wrong about that, I think endocrinology is your sub-specialty of internal medicine, devoted to the digestive system.

ELLIE That would be gastroenterology.

BARTLET Are you sure it's not nephrology, immunology, cardiology, or dermatology?

ELLIE [smiling] Would you stop it? I'm trying to watch the movie.

BARTLET Okay. Here comes the good part.

They sit there, watching the movie, close to each other.

DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES. FADE TO BLACK. THE END

Give Me Numbers

To Hope,

To Have Hope,

To Live in Hope --

is to form and hold a very particular personal opinion, 

Freely & Consciously held

Intellectually, Philosophically,

Historically and Genealogically, 

with respect to your relationships with/to 

Your Family, and to/with World History --

"Fear. 

Fear attracts The Fearful.

The Strong. 

The Weak.

The Innocent.

The  Corrupt. 

Fear. Fear is My Ally."

— Darth Maul

What if Dreams came True, and you could Be Who You Wanted to Be, and you could Do What You Wanted to Do, and you could Help Who You Wanted to Help. 

What if Dreams came True? And The World opened up, and YOU were never ever afraid. 

What if Dreams came True? 

But Dreams DO come True. 

Don't They?

INT. THE BARTLET RESIDENCE, 1960s - NIGHT Young Jed is knocking on his father's office door - once, twice, three times.

DR. BARTLET [VO] 

Come in.

Dr. Bartlet is sitting in an armchair reading a newspaper, as Jed enters and approaches the other chair.

DR. BARTLET 

[reading] 

"If you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you will never learn." 

Is this your quote?

JED 

Dad, uh, I wanted to mention something to you that maybe you weren't aware of regarding salary acquisitions...

DR. BARTLET 

Is this your quote? 

"If you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you will never learn."

JED 

It's actually Ray Bradbury.

DR. BARTLET 

And you quoted Ray Bradbury?

JED 

Yes.

DR. BARTLET 

In an article you and your friends wrote, condemning Professor Loomis.

JED 

[sits] 

For banning certain books from The Library, yes.

DR. BARTLET 

He is a Professor of Literature!

JED 

He banned Henry Miller! 

He banned D.H. Lawrence.

DR. BARTLET 

Yes.

JED 

"Giovanni's Room" 'cause it's too homosexual!

DR. BARTLET 

Stop it right now. 

You're a guest at this school.

JED 

I'm a student at this school.

DR. BARTLET 

Jed!

JED 

He banned "Fahrenheit 451," which is about banning books!

DR. BARTLET 

Was that supposed to be funny?

He stands, Jed stands after him.

DR. BARTLET 

That word play you just did there, was that meant to be funny?

JED 

That was supposed to...

Dr. Bartlet slaps him across the face.

DR. BARTLET 

......Was there anything else?

JED 

[quietly, looking away] 

It's not a nondenominational service.

DR. BARTLET 

Don't start with this. 

[walks over to his desk]

JED

Catholics don't believe Man is Saved through Faith Alone. 

Catholics believe that Faith has to be Joined with Good Works.

DR. BARTLET 

You're the only one who seems to mind the service.

JED 

I'm the only one who's Catholic.

DR. BARTLET 

You're Catholic because your mother is, and you're at this school because I'm the headmaster. 

How's that for clever with words? 

[sits down] 

But what was it you came in here to talk to me about?

JED 

Nothing.

DR. BARTLET 

Please close the door behind you.

Jed shuts the door to His Father's Office.

CUT TO: INT. THE OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT 

President Bartlet closes the door behind C.J. in THE OVAL OFFICE. 

Thunder roars. Bartlet walks to lean on his desk, places hands among the many pictures on it. 

Suddenly, The Wind blows the veranda door wide open and rain pours in.

BARTLET 

Ah... Damn it! Mrs. Landingham!

He turns away, realizing she won't Come to His Call, and then The Door opens...

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

[walks in, small and resolute] 

I really wish you wouldn't shout, Mr. President.

BARTLET 

[beat, as he looks at her in disbelief] 

The Door keeps blowing open.

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

Yes, but there's an intercom and you could use it to call me at my desk.

BARTLET 

I was...

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

You don't know how to use the intercom.

BARTLET 

It's not that I don't Know How to Use It, 

it's just that I haven't learned yet.

She looks at him and he smiles shyly, as if he's been caught lying.

BARTLET 

I have MS, and I didn't tell anybody.

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

Yeah... 

So, you're having a little bit of a day!

BARTLET 

You're gonna make jokes?

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

God doesn't make cars crash, and you know that. 

Stop using me as an excuse.

BARTLET 

[motions her to sit and sits down] 

The Party's not going to want me to run.

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

The Party'll come back. 

You'll get ‘em back.

BARTLET 

I've got A Secret for you, Mrs. Landingham —

I've never been the most popular guy in The Democratic Party.

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

[sits opposite from him] 

I've got A Secret for you, Mr. President — 

Your Father was a prick who could never get over the fact that he wasn't as smart as his brothers. 

Are you in a Tough Spot? Yes. 

Do I feel sorry for you? I Do Not. 

Why? Because there are people way worse off than you.

BARTLET 

Give Me Numbers.

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

I don't know Numbers. 

You give them to me.

BARTLET 

How about a child born this minute has one in five chance of being born into poverty?

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

How many Americans don't have health insurance?

BARTLET 

44 million.

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

What's the number one cause of death for black men under 35?

BARTLET 

Homicide.

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

How many Americans are behind bars?

BARTLET 

Three million.

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

How many Americans are drug addicts?

BARTLET 

Five million.

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

And one of five kids in poverty?

BARTLET 

That's 13 million American children.

President Bartlet is talking, and the opposite chair is empty.

BARTLET 

3.5 million kids go to schools that are literally falling apart. 

We need 127 billion in school construction, and we need it today!

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

To say nothing of 53 people trapped in an embassy.

BARTLET 

Yes.

MRS. LANDINGHAM 

You know, if you don't want to run again, I respect that. 

[stands up]

But if you don't run 'cause you think it's gonna be too hard or you think you're gonna lose - well, God, Jed, I don't even want to know you.

Mrs. Landingham walks out and gently closes the Oval Office door behind her. President Bartlet stands, walks into the open door onto the veranda and lets the rain wash over his face.

CHARLIE [VO] Mr President!

Charlie appears with a coat that he's holding unwrapped.

CHARLIE Mr. President, it's time.

Bartlet avoids the coat and walks into another door. Charlie follows him. At his desk, he leaves the coat and takes off his own as well.

The song 'Brothers in Arms' by Dire Straits plays softly.

 These mist covered mountains Are a home now for me, But my home is the lowlands And always will be. Some day you'll return to Your valleys and your farms And you'll no longer burn To be brothers in arms...

Leo joins the President walking. Josh, Sam and Toby follow.

CUT TO: INT. THE STATE DEPARTMENT - NIGHT C.J. is on the podium in front of a filled room.

C.J. And he'll be speaking to that just as soon as he gets here. [Reporters clamoring.] Uh, Frank, then Leslie.

CUT TO: INT. LIMOUSINE - NIGHT The President is in the limo.

 Through these fields of destruction, Baptisms of fire, I've witnessed your suffering As the battles raged higher. And though they did hurt me so bad In the fear and alarm, You did not desert me, My brothers in arms...

CUT TO: INT. THE STATE DEPARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

FRANK Has there been any discussion of a Special Prosecutor?

C.J. Tomorrow morning, the President will direct the Attorney General appoint a Special Prosecutor, yes. [Reporters clamor.] I can't see. Joan!

CUT TO: INT. LIMOUSINE - CONTINUOUS The limo is driving in the rain, guards all around it. Leo looks at Bartlet worriedly.

CUT TO: INT. THE STATE DEPARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

C.J. A list of three prosecutors is given to a three-judge panel. The prosecutors, as well as the judges, were all appointed by Republican presidents.

Reporters clamor, as Donna and Margaret, pale and dressed in coats, tear through the crowd and stand at a distance.

C.J. Please, I can only answer 14 or 15 questions at once. Hal!

CUT TO: INT. NATIONAL CATHEDRAL - CONTINUOUS A janitor is washing the floor and stumbles upon a cigarette. He lifts it and looks outside as sirens announce the President's passing. Limos and lights are seen through open doors of the Cathedral.

 There's so many different worlds, So many different suns, And we have just one world But we live in different ones...

CUT TO: INT. THE STATE DEPARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

C.J. I can't comment on a witness list that doesn't exist, but I imagine subpoenas will be issued to most Senior White House Staff including myself.

Reporters clamor.

CUT TO: EXT. THE STATE DEPARTMENT - CONTINUOUS The President arrives in the rain, slowly walks in. Everyone follows him, no umbrellas are in sight.

 Now the sun's gone to hell And the moon's riding high, Let me bid you farewell - Every man has to die...

Bartlet is given a towel and he wipes his face with it, as he, followed by Charlie, Leo, Toby, Sam, Josh, and several Secret Service agents, heads for the conference room.

CUT TO: INT. THE PRESS CONFERENCE - CONTINUOUS

C.J. Again, I can't comment on what kind of hearings Congress has in mind. I'm sure there'll be one but you'd have to talk to Congress.

Carol gives her a slight nod as she spots the President approaching.

C.J. Okay, here now, the President of the United States.

Everyone stands in silence as Bartlet walks up to the podium. He passes C.J.

C.J. [quietly] First row on your right.

 But it's written in the starlight And every line on your palm We're fools to make war On our brothers in arms...

Bartlet looks over the room. He sees Lawrence Altman, waiting to be called. Instead, he points to the center of the room.

BARTLET Yes, Sandy.

C.J. watches in shock.

SANDY Mr. President, can you tell us right now if you'll be seeking a second term?

BARTLET I'm sorry, Sandy, there was a bit of noise there, could you repeat the question?

SANDY Can you tell us right now if you'll be seeking a second term?

Charlie, C.J., Josh and Sam, Donna and Margaret, Toby and Leo all watch. Leo turns to the monitor.

LEO Watch this...

They are all waiting, watching, as Bartlet slides his hands off the podium, puts them in his pockets, looks away and smiles.

The Men’s Room

Margaret leaves the office. 

Leo and Hoynes sit in opposite ends.

LEO

How was New York?

HOYNES

Standard and Poor's going to raise the city's credit rating.

LEO

Good.

HOYNES

Nice of you to call me over. We don't see enough of each other.

LEO

No.

HOYNES

Margaret's looking good.

LEO

Did you blow off C.J. Cregg this morning?

HOYNES

Leo...

LEO

I'm asking...

HOYNES

Is that what this is about?

LEO

Did you?

HOYNES

You know what, C.J. doesn't need to come running to you every time she hits a bump...

LEO

C.J. did not come running, John, she covered your ass, she's a good girl. 

And when she tells you something, I want you to consider it a directive from this office.

HOYNES

You want me to consider it a directive from THIS office?

LEO

Yes.

HOYNES

Well, let me consult Article Two of the Constitution, cause I'm not a hundred percent sure where THIS Office gets the authority to direct ME to The Men’s Room!

LEO

You really want to do this now?

HOYNES

Leo, I have had it up to here, with you and your pal! I've been shoved into a broom...

LEO

[gets riled] 

Excuse me! ME and my PAL...?

HOYNES

Yes.

LEO

You are referring to President Bartlet?

HOYNES

Yes.

LEO

Refer to him that way.

HOYNES

[gets up] 

Goodnight, Leo.

LEO

Don't do what you're doing, John.

HOYNES

You're a World Class political operative, Leo. 

Why the hell shouldn't I keep doing what I've been doing?

LEO

'Cause I'll win, and you'll end up playing celebrity golf for the rest of

your life.

HOYNES

How long do you expect me to stick around here and be his whipping boy?

LEO

Give This President anything less than your full-throated support, and you're going to find out exactly how long.

HOYNES

Goodnight, Leo.

LEO

Goodnight, John.

Hoynes leaves. Leo picks up the paperwork from the table and continues to read.

“The date of 21 July 2016 should have been a great moment for supporters of gay rights in the United States. That day Peter Thiel took to the stage of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Ohio, and addressed the main hall. A gay man had appeared on a Republican platform before, but not alone and not openly identifying as such. 

By contrast the co-founder of PayPal, an early investor in Facebook, made a clear and head-on reference to his sexuality as he endorsed Donald Trump as the candidate of the Republican Party for President. During his speech Thiel said, ‘I am proud to be gay. I am proud to be a Republican. But most of all I am proud to be an American.’ 

All of this was received with huge cheers in the hall. Such a situation would have been unimaginable even a few election cycles before. NBC was among the mainstream media to report all of this in a positive light. ‘Peter Thiel makes history at RNC’ ran the headline. 

The gay press was not so positive. 

America’s foremost gay magazine, Advocate, attacked Thiel in a long and curious piece consisting of an excommunication from the Church  of Gay. The title read: 

‘Peter Thiel Shows Us There’s a Difference between Gay Sex and Gay.’ 

The sub-banner on the 1,300-word piece by Jim Downs (an associate professor of history at Connecticut College) asked 

‘When you abandon numerous aspects of queer identity, are you still LGBT?’ 

While Downs conceded that Thiel is ‘a man who has sex with other men’, he questioned whether he was in any other way actually ‘gay’.‘

‘That question might seem narrow,’ the author admitted. ‘But it is [sic] actually raises a broad and crucial distinction we must make in our notions of sexuality, identity, and community.’ 

After pooh-poohing those who had hailed Thiel’s speech as any kind of watershed moment – let alone ‘progress’– Downs pronounced his anathema: 

‘Thiel is an example of a man who has sex with other men, but not a gay man. Because he does not embrace the struggle of people to embrace their distinctive identity.’ 

Exhibit A for this gay heresy-finder was that in his speech at the RNC Thiel had dismissed the endless high-profile rows about trans bathroom access, who should use which bathrooms and what facilities should be laid on where. 

Although Thiel had said that he didn’t agree with ‘every plank in our party’s platform’, he did state that ‘fake Culture Wars only distract us from our Economic Decline’. 

As he went on, ‘When I was a kid, the great debate was about how to defeat the Soviet Union. And we won. Now we are told that the great debate is about who gets to use which bathroom. This is a distraction from our real problems. Who cares?’ 

This went down very well in Cleveland. And if opinion polls are anything to go by it is a statement that would go down very well across America. It is demonstrably the case that more people are worried about the economy than are worried about bathroom access. 

But for Advocate this was a deviation too far. 

While reaffirming his own ‘sexual choices’ Thiel was guilty of ‘separating himself from gay identity’. His opinions on the relative ephemerality to the wider culture of transgender bathrooms ‘effectively rejects the conception of LGBT as a cultural identity that requires political struggle to defend’. 

Thiel was alleged to be part of a movement which since the 1970s had not ‘invested in the creation of a cultural identity to the extent that their forebears did’. 

The success of gay liberation had apparently stopped them doing this ‘cultural work’. 

But this was DANGEROUS, as the recent massacre at a gay nightclub had shown in some unconnected way. 

The author left his readers with the powerful reminder that ‘The gay liberation movement has left us a powerful legacy, and protecting that legacy requires understanding the meaning of the term “gay” and not using it simply as a synonym for same-sex desire and intimacy.’

In fact the massacre at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando in June 2016 had been carried out by a young Muslim who swore allegiance to Islamic State (ISIS). 

Yet this detail didn’t detain Advocate or the Gay Pride march in New York later the same month. 

On that occasion the parade led with a huge rainbow banner emblazoned with the words ‘Republican Hate Kills!’, clearly forgetting that Omar Mateen had not been a member of the Republican Party. 

It isn’t just that the self-appointed organizers of the ‘gay community’ have a particular view of politics. 

They also have a specific view of the alleged responsibilities that being gay brings with it. In 2013 the novelist Bret Easton Ellis was reprimanded and banned from the annual media awards dinner by the gay organization GLAAD. 

He had been found guilty of tweeting views about the asinine nature of gay television characters that GLAAD said ‘the gay community had responded negatively to’.

This censorious tone–the prim schoolmaster tone–is the same one Pink News unleashed with a straight face in 2018, with its list of ten ‘dos and don’ts’ for straight people on ‘how they should behave in gay bars’.

In all of these cases the normal instinct is to say ‘Just who the hell do you think you are?’ 

But after his reprimand for wrong-think Ellis managed to sum up what had become a whole part of the new gay problem. 

This was, as he said, that we had come to live in ‘The Reign of The Gay Man as Magical Elf, who whenever he comes out appears before us as some kind of saintly E.T. whose sole purpose is to be put in the position of reminding us only about Tolerance and Our Own Prejudices and To Feel Good About Ourselves and to be a symbol.’ 

The reign of the magical gay elf has indeed been settled for the time being as one of the acceptable ways in which society has made its peace with homosexuality. 

Gays can now marry like everybody else can pretend that they have children in exactly the same way as everybody else, and in general prove – as Dustin Lance Black and Tom Daley do on their YouTube channel – that gays are unthreatening people who actually spend their lives being cute and making cupcakes. 

As Ellis wrote, ‘The Sweet and Sexually Unthreatening and Super-Successful Gay is supposed to be destined to transform The Hets into noble gay-loving protectors –as long as the gay in question isn’t messy or sexual or difficult.’

The former enfant terrible of American fiction had put his finger on something here.”

Come, Friends, Let Us Away...

The American political system caters most readily, the movie believes, to those who “know with their hearts.”

The American President is the cinematic predecessor of The West Wing, and it shares with that show not just assorted idealisms and occasional mansplainings and a general veneer of perky partisanship, but also very specific characters and figures. Its president is a former professor who has been goaded into political office by a best friend who also, conveniently, serves as his chief of staff. Its press secretary is a woman who is notable because of both her wit and the fact that she is unusually tall. Its speechwriter is a guy who is idealistic and overzealous and wunderkind-y. Its dialogue is snappy and full of the kind of light eruditions that congratulate and soothe in equal measure. 

“Come, friends, let us away,” A.J. McInerney, the best-friend-and-also-chief-of-staff, tells his fellow staffers. (McInerney is played by Martin Sheen, who plays President Josiah Bartlet on … yeah.)