DavidBlaine
Perhaps you need to see some real magic.
[floats up to Lincoln's left foot and touches it. His magic infuses the statue with life, and Lincoln breaks free from his chair]
Lincoln
Raaargh!
[steps down towards the crowd]
Buddha
Oh this looks like trouble.
Blaine
[floating high above the crowd]
So long, Super Best Fools!
Stan
[reaches Kyle]
Kyle!
Kyle
Stan!
Stan
Kyle, you can't kill yourself!
Kyle
I don't want to kill myself.
They rigged this thing to fill with water!
[tremulous footsteps are felt, and Lincoln is shown walking among the crowd of Blaintologists]
Jesus
We've gotta stop that oversized Abraham Lincoln! Mohammad!
[Mohammad rises into the air and blasts Lincoln with flames. Lincoln growls and swats Mohammad away with ease]
Great Scott!
Cartman
[trying to drown himself from the edge of the Reflecting Pool]
Bliegh! [rises. His body is on land] Yugh. Uh, okay, try again. Hep [dunks his head in the water again].
Shot of Washington D.C. from the Vietnam Memorial. Lincoln is taking buildings off their foundations and tossing them aside. Krishna, in the form of an eagle, flies over the scene.
Flames are everywhere.
Mohammad
It is Too Powerful, Jesus!
Krishna
[lands]
It seems to have No Weakness!
Jesus
There has to be a way to destroy it.
[raises his left wrist to speak into the watch]
Jesus to Moses!
The Hall of Super Best Friends, day, at that moment
Narrator
Meanwhile, at the Super Best Friends League...
Jesus
Come in, Moses!
Moses
What?
Jesus
We need to know How to Kill
A Giant Stone Abraham Lincoln.
Moses
...Um... Let me think, um...
A Giant Stone John Wilkes Booth...?
Jesus
[thinks for a moment]
You heard him, Super Best Friends!
We've got to make a Giant Stone John Wilkes Booth!
Mohammad
Krishna, we're going to need wood for a mold!
Krishna
Form of... a beaver!
[transforms into a beaver and runs off to chop down trees]
Mohammad
I will find sources to concrete. [points to Seaman] You, get the water to mix it with, Seaman. [the other friends laugh]
Narrator
Using the wood that Krishna cut down as a beaver, Jesus uses his master carpentry skills to make a giant mold.
Jesus
That should do the trick. Now for some concrete.
Narrator
Meanwhile, in the ocean depths, Seaman seeks out water to mix with the concrete.
Seaman
Sea-Man! [lands on the ocean bottom] Look, Swallow, we should be able to divert the water with that pipe.
And so, Seaman and Swallow get to... get to work [laughs]
The Reflecting Pool, later.
Water fills the bubble Kyle is in, and he struggles to breathe
Stan
Kyle, you have to hold your breath!
[a giant stone hand comes down and grabs the bubble as Stan looks on helplessly. Everyone backs away from the stone Lincoln as it holds Kyle in its left hand. Lincoln shakes Kyle around like a snow globe, and Stan gets mad]
Oh, very funny!
[Seaman and Joseph Smith pour the raw materials needed for a statue into Jesus' mold, and Mohammad fires the statue like a piece of clay. The likeness of John Wilkes Booth appears on the statue]
Jesus :
Lao Tse, Bring it to Life.
Lao Tse puts index fingers to temples and shuts his eyes to concentrate on the task at hand
Using his power of Taoism, Lao Tse becomes one with the giant stone John Wilkes Booth.
[the Booth statue begins to move. It breaks out of its mold, walks up behind the Lincoln statue, and fires one stone bullet into the back of Lincoln's head. Lincoln's head jerks back, and he falls forward, ending up face down. The bubble falls out of his hand and breaks up on the ground. Kyle is washed out]
Kyle
Wagh. [sits up]
