Captain HOLLISTER walks in from his office.
HOLLISTER: Lister!
He motions for LISTER to come into his office, which he does.
LISTER: You asked to see me, Captain?
HOLLISTER: Where's the cat?
LISTER: What? What cat?
HOLLISTER: Lister, not only are you so stupid
you bring aboard an unquarantined animal and
jeopardise The Live of every Man and Woman
on This ship -- not only that -- but you take a photograph
of yourself with the cat and send it to be processed
in the ship's lab --
Now, I' m going to ask you again,
Do you have a cat?
LISTER: No.
HOLLISTER: (Holding up a photo of LISTER and FRANKENSTEIN) Have you got a cat?
LISTER: Er, yes, that one.
HOLLISTER: Where'd you get it? Titan?
LISTER: Yes.
HOLLISTER: Don't you realise that that thing could be carrying anything? Don't you remember what happened on the "Oregon" with the rabbits?
Lister, a loose animal aboard this ship could get anywhere.
It could get into the air ducts. It could get into Holly.
You know, a little nibble here and a little nibble there, Lister, and before you know it we're flying backwards.
Now I want that cat, and I want it now.
LISTER: Sir, just suppose I did have a cat.... Just suppose.
.....What would you do with Frankenstein?
HOLLISTER: I'd send it down to the medical centre,
and I'd have it cut up and tests run on it.
LISTER:
......Would you put it back
together when you'd finished?
HOLLISTER: Lister, the cat would be dead.
LISTER: So, with respect, sir, what's in it for the cat?
HOLLISTER: Lister, give me that cat!
LISTER: It's not as easy as that! Me and the cat, we're going to have a baby cat, and we're going to buy a farm on Fiji, and we're going to have a sheep and a cow and three horses, it's me plan, and no one can get in the way of it, not even you, and I do respect ya! (Remembering) Sir!
HOLLISTER: Lister, do you want to go into stasis for the rest of the trip and forfeit 18 months wages?
LISTER: No.
HOLLISTER: Do you want to give me that cat?
LISTER: No!
HOLLISTER: Choose.
