FADE IN: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - NIGHT
Opening shot of a clock on the wall: 7:05. The camera pans down to Donna
and Josh walking through.
DONNA
They got to start the poll, Josh. It's 7:05.
JOSH
It's ten to seven.
DONNA
No, it's really not.
JOSH
It's 7:05?
DONNA
Yeah.
JOSH
That's ridiculous.
DONNA
I'm not making it up.
JOSH
My watch says ten to seven.
DONNA
That's 'cause your watch sucks.
JOSH
My watch is fine.
DONNA
Your watch says ten to seven.
JOSH
How do I know it isn't ten to seven?
DONNA
'Cause those large clocks on the wall that are run by the U.S. Navy, say your watch sucks. In fact, they say your watch sucks in four different time zones.
Josh and Donna pass by C.J.'S OFFICE.
Toby is razzing C.J.
TOBY
Question six is asymmetrical.
C.J.
Question six is fine.
TOBY
"Would you say things in this country are going in the right direction or do you think they've gotten off on the wrong track?"
Josh and Donna double back to C.J.'S office and stand at the door.
JOSH
He's got a good point about this.
C.J.
No, he doesn't.
DONNA
Guys, you know it's five after seven.
TOBY
Should be right direction or wrong direction.
C.J.
Toby.
TOBY
Direction and track are two different words!
C.J.
Thank you, Funk and Wagnall's.
They all leave C.J.'s office.
Bonnie and Ginger are with them.
TOBY
What'd she call me?
GINGER
Funk and Wagnall's.
They make the dictionary.
TOBY
I know who Funk and Wagnall's are.
BONNIE
They why'd you ask her?
Everyone starts heading out into the HALLWAY.
DONNA
Guys, it's five after seven.
TOBY
The question is asymmetrical.
C.J.
That may be so, but the question originated 2 decades ago and has proven to
be a consistent predictor of a voter's potential behavior. So it stays the way
it is.
JOSH
I have a problem with fourteen.
C.J.
What's your problem?
JOSH
"When making policy decisions, do you think that President Bartlet puts the needs of average people first?"
"Average people" is a pejorative phrase and occurs about six times in the polling model.
C.J.
This may come as a shock to you, but 80% of the people in this country would use the word "average" to describe themselves.
They do not find the term deprecating.
Indeed, being considered an "average American" is something they find to be positive and comforting.
They all walk into THE ROOSEVELT ROOM. Leo, Larry, Ed and several other staffers are inside. Leo is reading a piece of paper. Toby sits next to him.
LEO
C.J.
C.J.
Yes.
LEO
[reads]
"Jed Bartlet cares about people like me."
C.J.
Leo, we went over this.
TOBY
We need to talk about the asymmetry of question six.
C.J.
We really don't.
TOBY
Since when are you an expert on language?
C.J.
In polling models?
TOBY
Okay.
C.J.
1993. Since when are you an uptight pain in the ass?
TOBY
Since long before that.
LEO
"Jed Bartlet cares about people like me. Agree or disagree?"
C.J.
Again, we went over this.
LEO
Can't "people like me", when read off the script, be taken to mean people
like the
interviewer?
ED
When we ask that question, we usually say, "People like yourself."
LARRY
Or "people like you."
ED
I've seen it both ways.
LEO
Fellas.
LARRY
"Yourself" is a little softer.
ED
And softer is bad?
LARRY
Softer is better.
LEO
But the point is....
C.J.
The respondent isn't confused by the question and separating the respondent
from the
interviewer with "people like yourself" is pejorative. So, Ed, Larry, you
can take this
up with Josh. Leo, Eastern Standard Time is sitting down to dinner. The poll
is fine.
JOSH
It's an important poll, C.J.
C.J.
I'm aware of its importance. I'm also aware that if we don't start the phone
banks
right now, I might not have enough time to leak the internals to media
outlets before
we hit the weekend.
TOBY
There's still the matter...
C.J.
So, it turns out that over the last 3 weeks we managed to climb out of the
hole, only
we can't tell anybody about it 'til Monday, cause we stood here all night
arguing about
asymmetry! [sighs] It's time.
LEO
Anybody want to make a prediction?
ED
We'll hold at 42% job approval.
LARRY
We'll hold steady.
JOSH
I'll be happy if we hold steady.
TOBY
We'll drop a few points, but it'll be inside the plus or minus.
LEO
C.J.?
C.J.
We're going to go up five points.
LEO
The President thinks we're going to hold steady.
C.J.
The President is wrong.
LEO
You think?
C.J.
Yes.
LEO
Let's find out. Toby, tell Sam to start the banks.
Toby picks up the phone and pushes a button.
CUT TO: INT. PHONE BANKS - NIGHT
Sam and Mandy are standing wait. Sam's cell phone rings.
SAM
[into phone] Sam Seaborn... Okay. [to Mandy] Let's get our report card.
Mandy walks inside the phone bank area.
MANDY
Okay! Here we go!
SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER
* * *
CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Leo is on his couch working. Margaret enters and shuts the door.
MARGARET
Leo.
LEO
Yeah?
MARGARET
C.J.'s here.
LEO
Okay.
MARGARET
Want to hear a joke?
LEO
[looks up] Uh... Okay.
MARGARET
You know why they only eat one egg for breakfast in France?
LEO
Why?
MARGARET
'Cause in France, one egg is an 'oeuf.'
[beat]
Okay, C.J.'s here.
LEO
Okay.
Leo looks warily puzzled at Margaret as she leaves. C.J. comes in.
C.J.
Hi.
LEO
Hey.
C.J.
The lid is on.
LEO
You told me.
C.J.
Hmm?
LEO
You called me an hour ago and told me it was a full lid.
C.J.
Yeah... I'm going to the phone banks to check in with the poll.
LEO
Okay.
C.J.
Leo, this is a small thing and I hate to bring it up.
LEO
What?
C.J.
I was in with the President this morning, AND he mentioned that you told him that when you asked for predictions, everyone said we'd hold steady at 42.
LEO
Yeah?
C.J.
But, I didn't say that.
I said we'd go up five points.
LEO
I meant in general, on average.
C.J.
Yeah.
LEO
C.J., like lopping off the score from the East German judge.
C.J.
Leo, it wasn't woman's intuition.
I think it's strange....
LEO
Don't read too much into it.
C.J.
I'm saying its strange my take wasn't...
LEO
I'm saying don't read too much into it.
[beat]
All right?
C.J.
Okay.
LEO
Anything else?
C.J.
No, I'm going to check the phone banks
***
Another long silence.
BARTLET
What kind of briefcase did you get her, Sam?
SAM
Sir?
BARTLET
What kind of briefcase?
SAM
Coach Beekman in British tan with brass hardware.
BARTLET
That's nice.
SAM
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Andare makes a nice model.
Comes in black or brown, hand stained, fit a laptop, notebooks, the works.
TOBY
This conversation is surreal.
BARTLET
Trieste in Milan makes a nice briefcase.
C.J. quietly enters with an envelope in her hands and makes her way across the room to
Bartlet.
C.J.
Good evening, Mr. President. The full polling book is 400 pages long and it's still being put together. I have the top sheet results.
LEO
What does it say?
C.J.
I was wrong.
We went up nine points.
C.J. smiles. Leo smiles and starts to laugh, but catches himself. There are
smiles all around.
BARTLET
Okay, what's next?
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