Friday 1 March 2019

Oh God. We're Gonna Die, Aren't We?






WILLOW
I wanted to tell you. 

But I was so scared…


BUFFY
You can tell me anything, Willow.
I love you. You're my best friend.



WILLOW
Me too. I love you too.

They try to rappel closer to one another, hug. But it doesn't go very well. Instead they wait until they land on top of the elevator - and practically fall into each other's arms.


BUFFY
Let's promise to never not talk again -




WILLOW
I promise. I promise…

Now XANDER, who was following close behind them, lands on the elevator. Before he knows what hit him, Buffy and Willow are all over him with the hugs and kisses.

BUFFY
Xander!

WILLOW
Xander! 

Wonderful Xander!

Xander reacts with confusion - 

then, with mounting anxiety.
 


BUFFY
Xander - you know we love you, right?

WILLOW
We do. 
Totally.



XANDER
Oh god. We're gonna die, aren't we?


WILLOW
No - we just missed you.

The girls squeeze him even more tightly. 
Xander, sandwiched between his two hugging friends, finally goes with it and grins goofily… 

Looks up at the descending Giles.




 


XANDER
(calling up)

Giles, hurry up! 
You definitely want to get down here for this!



 [Klingon bridge]

(An altar of sorts has been set up.)
WORF: 
Jadzia Dax Vond Shoo vwee Dun Mahh kekh HuhKo Vahm Jeh Yin Moj Mah Mukh. Sto-vo-kor Pah Dahkh tin Baht leh el eegh cha yay moj.
(Worf is about to cut his palm when Quark enters.)
QUARK: Quark, son of Keldar. Did I come at a bad time?
O'BRIEN: What's he doing here?
QUARK: Same thing you are. I'm volunteering for this mission.
MARTOK: Why? You're a bartender, not a warrior.
QUARK: True, but I loved Jadzia as much as anyone in this room. With maybe one or two exceptions. And I am willing to pledge my life to see that she gets into Sto-vo-kor.
MARTOK: Perhaps there is some Klingon in you after all.
QUARK: I wouldn't go that far. So why all the cutlery?
MARTOK: We shed our blood to prove we are not frightened of death.
(Martok cuts his palm.)
QUARK: Can't you just take my word for it?
(So Martok cuts Quark's hand for him)
QUARK: Oww! That hurts.
O'BRIEN: It's supposed to hurt.
WORF: YuWee modge. Baht leh modge. Yay Dodge.
(Worf cuts his palm and places it on the bulkhead between the candles.)





[Klingon bridge]

O'BRIEN: Once we're close enough, we can fire an EM pulse at the sun.
QUARK: The sun? I thought we were trying to destroy a shipyard.
O'BRIEN: We are.
QUARK: Do you understand what he's talking about?
BASHIR: Always.
QUARK: Fine, then you explain it.
WORF: We are going to fly toward the molten heart of the sun, so close that our ship will glow like a flaming comet.
BASHIR: Hopefully not that close.
O'BRIEN: Just close enough to trigger a solar plasma ejection. The explosion should be enough to incinerate everything within a hundred million kilometres.
MARTOK: Including the shipyard.
WORF: It will be a glorious firestorm that will illuminate the gates of Sto-vo-kor itself and provide a fitting welcome for Jadzia.
QUARK: The things we do for love. Did you see that?
O'BRIEN: See what?
QUARK: The way he glared at me.
BASHIR: He always glares at you.
QUARK: Well I'm sick of it. We're risking our lives to help Jadzia get into Sto-vo-kor. The very least Worf could do is show us some appreciation. Is it so hard to say thank you?
BASHIR: Thank you.
QUARK: Nice try, Doctor, but I want to hear it from him.
O'BRIEN: Don't do this, Quark.
QUARK: Do what? All I'm asking for is two little words.
WORF: Be quiet.
QUARK: That's two words all right. Just not the two I was hoping for.
WORF: Why should I feel any gratitude toward you? I owe you nothing. You are not here to help Jadzia get into Sto-vo-kor. You are here because you wish to convince yourselves that you were worthy of her. But the truth is, none of you could ever hope to be worthy of her or even understand the kind of woman she was. It is you who should be thanking me, Ferengi, for allowing you to come on this mission and pay honour to her memory.




MARTOK: 
What about me, Worf? 
Would you rather I hadn't come on this mission either?

WORF: 
That is not what I am saying. 
With you, it is different. 
You are a Klingon and Jadzia was a member of your House.

MARTOK: 
And these men were her friends. 
They honour her with their presence.

(The non-Klingons enter.)
QUARK: I don't believe it. Gagh for breakfast, gagh for lunch, gagh for dinner. Am I the only one who thinks Klingon menus need to have more variety?
O'BRIEN: You want to complain about the gagh, that's fine with me. But don't complain about it when we're in the mess hall sitting at a table surrounded by a dozen Klingons.
QUARK: All right, all right, I get the point.
BASHIR: Good.
QUARK: But I'm telling you, I think some of those Klingons agreed with me.
BASHIR: Look, Worf, if this has anything to do with what just happened in the mess hall.
WORF: No, no, it does not.

QUARK: 
What's the matter? 
Come up with a few more insults to throw at us?

WORF: 
I wish to apologize.

QUARK: 
I'm listening.
WORF: I know Jadzia meant a great deal to all of you, and you meant a great deal to her. Many times, when we discussed our day, she would repeat something amusing that you had told her, or describe in endless details the intricacies of some new scheme of yours. She often talked about all of you. It seemed as though that even when we were alone, one of you was always with us.
QUARK: I get it. You were jealous because she liked us better than you.
BASHIR: Quark, would you please keep quiet.
WORF: She was my wife, my par'machkai. I did not like having to share her affections.

O'BRIEN: That's why you didn't want us on this mission with you. You wanted to get her into Sto-vo-kor without our help.

WORF: I wanted it to be my gift to her.

QUARK: Go on.

WORF: There is nothing more to say. Except that I am pleased you're here.

O'BRIEN: 
I have never heard Worf apologise to anyone.

QUARK: 
I don't know about you, but I was hoping for something a little more intriguing.

BASHIR: 
Such as?

QUARK: 
You know, like Jadzia used to call my name out when she slept, or wanted to name her first child after me.

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