The ONE Thing that They REALLY Can’t Stand is a SMARTARSE.

I have nothing BUT 

Contempt for This Court!

RBMK

I want you to think 

of Yuri Gagarin. 

I want you to imagine that he has been 

told nothing of his mission into space 

until the moment that he is on the launch pad. 

I want you to imagine that all he has is a list of instructions 

that he has never seen before, some of which have been crossed out. 

This is exactly 

what was happening in 

The Control Room of Reactor-3

The night shift had not 

been trained to perform 

The Experiment. 

They hadn't even been warned it was happening. 

Leonid Toptunov, The Operator 

responsible for controlling and stabilising 

The Reactor that night was... all of 25 years old. 

And his total experience 

on The Job? Four months. 

This is The Human Problem 

created by The Delay. 

But inside The Reactor Core, 

in the space between the atoms 

themselves, something far more 

dangerous is forming. A poison. 

The Time is 28 past Midnight. 

Comrade Legasov. 

(BREATHES DEEPLY) 

(PUSHCART ROLLING) 

I'm pleased to see some of my colleagues here from the Kurchatov Institute and Minenergo. 

But you don't need to be 

a nuclear scientist to understand What Happened at Chernobyl. 

You only need to know this : 

there are essentially two things that happen inside a nuclear reactor. 

The reactivity which 

generates Power either 

goes up, or it goes down. 

That's it. 

All The Operators do 

is maintain balance. 

Uranium fuel. 

As uranium atoms split apart 

and collide, reactivity goes up. 

But if you don't 

balance the reactivity,
it never stops rising. So... 

Boron control rods. 

They reduce reactivity 

like brakes on a car. 

But there's a third 

factor to consider : water. 

Cool water takes heat 

out of The System. 

As it does, it turns to steam,
or what we call A "Void." 

In an RBMK reactor of the type 

used at Chernobyl, there's something 

called a "positive void-coefficient." 

What does that mean? 

It means that the 

more steam present 

within The System, 

the higher The Reactivity, 

which means more heat, which means 

more steam, which means... 

It would appear we have 

a vicious cycle on our hands. 

And we would, were it not for this... 

(CLATTERS) 

And we would, were it not for this : 

the negative temperature coefficient. 

When nuclear fuel gets hotter, it gets

less reactive, so...fuel increases reactivity. 

Control rods and water reduce it. 

Steam increases it, and 

the rise in temperature 

reduces it. 

This is the invisible dance that powers 

entire cities without smoke or flame. 

And it is, beautiful when things are normal. 

As uranium splits apart to release energy, 

it breaks down into a new element, xenon. 

Xenon reduces reactivity. 

This is The Poison 

Comrade Khomyuk mentioned. 

When The Core is running at full power, 

it burns the xenon away before it can 

cause a problem. 

But because of The Delay, 

Chernobyl Reactor-3 has been 

held at half power for ten hours. 

The xenon did not burn away. 

It built up, poisoning The Core. 

We're starting to lose balance. 

- (COUGHING)

- At minutes past midnight, 

The Reactor is now primed to slow down. 

And yet, in less than an hour, it will explode. 

If you can't understand how 

a stalled nuclear reactor could 

lead to an explosion, I don't blame you. 

After all, you don't work 

in the control room of a 

nuclear power plant. 

But as it turned out, 

the men who did 

didn't understand it either. 

The Secrets of The Universe

The Original Secret of The 

Universe is that The Fall of Man 

came as a direct consequence of 

Eve’s low self-esteem

Because Adam lacked the basic 

Human Knowledge to think 

to tell her that she was pretty.

Because they were 

the only two people 

in The World, and 

it was pretty obvious, so he 

didn’t think he had to.

“You look really nice Today, Dear”

…..that’s all it would have took.

 

…..I should go call My Mother —

LUTHOR'S LAIR - DAY

CAMERA CLOSE UP on the front of a newspaper held by EVE and OTIS, who read it intently. The banner headline is clearly visible : I SPENT THE NIGHT WITH SUPERMAN - An Exclusive Interview by Lois Lane.

CAMERA PANS to the library. LUTHOR is sitting in his chair, working on a slide rule and the CAMERA ANGLE goes WIDER as LUTHOR talks.

LUTHOR

Now then, given the exact location of The Galaxy that he mentions, and the proximity to our own solar system...it's amazing.

(bolts up)

AMAZING! Too good to be true.

(goes to stand on his library sliding ladder)

EVE

(to OTIS)

He's too Good to be True! He's six foot four, has black hair, blue eyes, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and tells The Truth!

LUTHOR

(turns, standing on his library sliding ladder)

Miss Teschmacher, some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it's a simple adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of The Universe.

EVE

(insulted, huffs)

Lex, what has chewing gum got to do with The Secrets of The Universe?

LUTHOR

(sighs, turns away)

Right, right Miss Teschmacher.

Hesitating, Eve decides to go for it and kisses Superman passionately on the mouth — like Salome, on the dead lips of The Head of John The Baptist — then removes The Kryptonite Necklace and tosses it, where it slides down a drain, into The Sewer-proper, outside of The House of Luthor deep beneath Grand Central Station —

Superman (still semi-conscious, 

totally depleted, very disoriented) :

Whu -- Why did you do that…?

She is very embarrassed, 

ashamed of herself for exploiting 

His Weakness, but : She Tells Truth 

Eve :

Well, I… I didn’t think 

you’d let me, later —

(So He flies off to Save Her Mother in 

Hackensack, New Jersey from 

ThermoNuclear Annihilation.)

Mistesting

REPLICANT \rep-li-cant \n. 

See also ROBOT (antique) :

ANDROID (obsolete): NEXUS (generic): Synthetic human with paraphysical capabilities, having skin/ flesh culture.

Also: Rep, skin job (slang) : Off-world uses: Combat, high risk industrial, deep-space probe. On-world use prohibited.

Specifications and quantities- 

information classified.

NEW AMERICAN DICTIONARY

Copyright © 2016

‘I want a bone marrow analysis made of you,’ Rick said to her. ‘It can eventually be organically determined whether you’re android or not; it’s slow and painful, admittedly, but—’ 

‘Legally,’ Rachael said, ‘I can’t be forced to undergo a bone marrow test. That’s been established in the courts; self-incrimination. And anyhow on a live person – not the corpse of a retired android – it takes a long time. You can give that damn Voigt-Kampff profile test because of the specials; they have to be tested for constantly, and while the government was doing that you police agencies slipped the Voigt-Kampff through. But what you said is true; that’s the end of the testing.’ 

She rose to her feet, paced away from him, and stood with her hands on her hips, her back to him. 

‘The issue is not the legality of the bone marrow analysis,’ Eldon Rosen said huskily. ‘The issue is that your empathy delineation test failed in response to my niece. 

I can explain why she scored as an android might. Rachael grew up aboard Salander 3. She was born on it; she spent fourteen of her eighteen years living off its tape library and what the nine other crew members, all adults, knew about Earth. 

Then, as you know, the ship turned back a sixth of the way to Proxima. Otherwise Rachael would never have seen Earth – anyhow not until her later life.’ 

‘You would have retired me,’ Rachael said over her shoulder. ‘In a police dragnet I would have been killed. I’ve known that since I got here four years ago; this isn’t the first time the Voigt-Kampff test has been given to me. In fact I rarely leave this building; the risk is enormous, because of those roadblocks you police set up, those flying wedge spot checks to pick up unclassified specials.’ 

‘And androids,’ Eldon Rosen added. ‘Although naturally the public isn’t told that; they’re not supposed to know that androids are on Earth, in our midst.’ 

‘I don’t think they are,’ Rick said. ‘I think the various police agencies here and in the Soviet Union have gotten them all. The population is small enough now; everyone, sooner or later, runs into a random checkpoint.’ 

That, anyhow, was the idea. 

‘What were your instructions,’ Eldon Rosen asked, ‘if you wound up designating a human as android?’ 

‘That’s a departmental matter.’ He began restoring his testing gear to his briefcase; the two Rosens watched silently. 

‘Obviously,’ he added, ‘I was told to cancel further testing, as I’m now doing. If it failed once there’s no point in going on.’ 

He snapped the briefcase shut. 

‘We could have defrauded you,’ Rachael said. ‘Nothing forced us to admit you mistested me. And the same for the other nine subjects we’ve selected.’ She gestured vigorously. ‘All we had to do was simply go along with your test results, either way.’ 

Rick said, ‘I would have insisted on a list in advance. A sealed-envelope breakdown. And compared my own test results for congruity. There would have had to be congruity.’ 

And I can see now, he realized, that I wouldn’t have gotten it. Bryant was right. Thank god I didn’t go out bounty hunting on the basis of this test. 

‘Yes, I suppose you would have done that,’ Eldon Rosen said. He glanced at Rachael, who nodded. 

‘We discussed that possibility,’ Eldon said, then, with reluctance. 

‘This problem,’ Rick said, ‘stems entirely from your method of operation, Mr Rosen. Nobody forced your organisation to evolve the production of humanoid robots to a point where—’ ‘We produced what the colonists wanted,’ Eldon Rosen said. ‘We followed the time-honored principle underlying every commercial venture. If our firm hadn’t made these progressively more human types, other firms in the field would have. We knew the risk we were taking when we developed the Nexus-6 brain unit. But your Voigt-Kampff test was a failure before we released that type of android. If you had failed to classify a Nexus-6 android as an android, if you had checked it out as human – but that’s not what happened.’ 

His voice had become hard and bitingly penetrating. ‘Your police department – others as well – may have retired, very probably have retired, authentic humans with underdeveloped empathic ability, such as my innocent niece here. Your position, Mr Deckard, is extremely bad morally. Ours isn’t.’ ‘In other words,’ Rick said with acuity, ‘I’m not going to be given a chance to check out a single Nexus-6. You people dropped this schizoid girl on me beforehand.’ And my test, he realized, is wiped out. I shouldn’t have gone for it, he said to himself. However, it’s too late now. ‘We have you, Mr Deckard,’ Rachael Rosen agreed in a quiet, reasonable voice; she turned toward him, then, and smiled. He could not make out, even now, how the Rosen Association had managed to snare him, and so easily. Experts, he realized. A mammoth corporation like this – it embodies too much experience. It possesses in fact a sort of group mind. And Eldon and Rachael Rosen consisted of spokesmen for that corporate entity. His mistake, evidently, had been in viewing them as individuals. It was a mistake he would not make again. ‘Your superior Mr Bryant,’ Eldon Rosen said, ‘will have difficulty understanding how you happened to let us void your testing apparatus before the test began.’ 

He pointed toward the ceiling, and Rick saw the camera lens. His massive error in dealing with the Rosens had been recorded. 

‘I think the right thing for us all to do,’ Eldon said, ‘is sit down and—’ He gestured affably. ‘We can work something out, Mr Deckard. There’s no need for anxiety. The Nexus-6 variety of android is a fact; we here at the Rosen Association recognise it and I think now you do, too.’ 

Rachael, leaning toward Rick, said, ‘How would you like to own an owl?’ 

‘I doubt if I’ll ever own an owl.’ 

But he knew what she meant; he understood the business the Rosen Association wanted to transact. Tension of a kind he had never felt before manifested itself inside him; it exploded, leisurely, in every part of his body. He felt the tension, the consciousness of what was happening, take over completely. 

‘But an owl,’ Eldon Rosen said, ‘is the thing you want.’ He glanced at his niece inquiringly. ‘I don’t think he has any idea—’ 

‘Of course he does,’ Rachael contradicted. ‘He knows exactly where this is heading. Don’t you, Mr Deckard?’ Again she leaned toward him, and this time closer; he could smell a mild perfume about her, almost a warmth. ‘You’re practically there, Mr Deckard. You practically have your owl.’ 

To Eldon Rosen she said, ‘He’s a bounty hunter; remember? So he lives off The Bounty he makes, not his salary. Isn’t that so, Mr Deckard?’ 

He nodded. 

‘How many androids escaped this time?’ Rachael inquired. 

Presently he said, ‘Eight. Originally. Two have already been retired, by someone else; not me.’ 

‘You get how much for each android?’ Rachael asked. 

Shrugging, he said, ‘It varies.’ 

Rachael said, ‘If you have no test you can administer, then there is no way you can identify an android. And if there’s no way you can identify an android there’s no way you can collect your bounty. So if the Voigt-Kampff scale has to be abandoned—’ 

‘A new scale,’ Rick said, ‘will replace it. This has happened before.’ 

Three times, to be exact. But the new scale, the more modern analytical device, had been there already; no lag had existed. This time was different. 

‘Eventually, of course, the Voigt-Kampff scale will become obsolete,’ 

Rachael agreed. ‘But not now. We’re satisfied ourselves that it will delineate the Nexus-6 types and we’d like you to proceed on that basis in your own particular, peculiar work.’ 

Rocking back and forth, her arms tightly folded, she regarded him with intensity. Trying to fathom his reaction. 

‘Tell him he can have his owl,’ Eldon Rosen grated. 

‘You can have the owl,’ Rachael said, still eyeing him. ‘The one up on the roof. Scrappy. But we will want to mate it if we can get our hands on a male. And any offspring will be ours; that has to be absolutely understood.’ 

Rick said, ‘I’ll divide the brood.’ 

‘No,’ Rachael said instantly; behind her Eldon Rosen shook his head, backing her up. ‘That way you’d have claim to the sole bloodline of owls for the rest of eternity. And there’s another condition. You can’t will your owl to anybody; at your death it reverts back to the association.’ 

‘That sounds,’ Rick said, ‘like an invitation for you to come in and kill me. To get your owl back immediately. I won’t agree to that; it’s too dangerous.’ 

‘You’re a bounty hunter,’ Rachael said. ‘You can handle a laser gun – in fact you’re carrying one right now. If you can’t protect yourself, how are you going to retire the six remaining Nexus-6 andys? They’re a good deal smarter than the Grozzi Corporation’s old W-4.’ 

‘But I hunt them,’ he said. ‘This way, with a reversion clause on the owl, someone would be hunting me.’ And he did not like the idea of being stalked; he had seen the effect on androids. It brought about certain notable changes, even in them. 

Rachael said, ‘All right; we’ll yield on that. You can will the owl to your heirs. But we insist on getting the complete brood. If you can’t agree to that, go on back to San Francisco and admit to your superiors in the department that the Voigt-Kampff scale, at least as administered by you, can’t distinguish an andy from a human being. And then look for another job.’ 

‘Give me some time,’ Rick said. 

‘Okay,’ Rachael said. ‘We’ll leave you in here, where it’s comfortable.’ She examined her wristwatch. 

‘Half an hour,’ Eldon Rosen said. 

He and Rachael filed toward the door of the room, silently. They had said what they intended to say, he realized; the rest lay in his lap. 

As Rachael started to close the door after herself and her uncle, Rick said starkly, ‘You managed to set me up perfectly. You have it on tape that I missed on you; you know that my job depends on the use of the Voigt-Kampff scale; and you own that goddamn owl.’ 

‘Your owl, dear,’ Rachael said. ‘Remember? We’ll tie your home address around its leg and have it fly down to San Francisco; it’ll meet you there when you get off work.’ 

It, he thought. She keeps calling the owl it. Not her. ‘Just a second,’ he said.