In Every Generation There is a Chosen One.
She alone, will stand against The Vampyres,
The Dæmons and The Forces of Darkness.
She is The Slayer.
Buffy enters and looks around not seeing anyone she knows.
She walks over to a couch and spots a man across the room turned three quarters away from her that looks like Angel.
He turns enough so that she can see his face and it isn't him.
Xander:
The Whole World in front of her,
and she comes back to this dive.
She turns around and sees him.
Buffy:
Xander!
(She gives him a one-armed hug.)
Xander:
Hey, Buff.
Buffy:
Oh, when did you get back?
Xander:
Couple days ago.
Buffy:
You freak of nature.
Why didn't you call me?
Xander:
Well I knew you guys were starting the whole college adventure and I didn't want to, um, you know... help you move.
Buffy:
I missed you.
How was your trip?
Is America nice? I hear it's nice.
Xander:
There's some purple mountains majesty,
I'm gonna have to say.
Buffy:
What'd you do?
What'd you see?
Xander:
Well...
Buffy:
Tell me!
Xander:
'Grand Canyon!'
Buffy:
You saw the Grand Canyon!
Xander:
Well, I saw the movie 'Grand Canyon,' on cable.
Really lame.
Buffy:
Hunh?
Xander:
Basically, I got as far as Oxnard
and the engine fell out of my car, and that was literally.
So, I ended up washing dishes at 'The Fabulous Ladies Night Club' for about a month and a half while I tried to pay for the repairs.
No one really bothered me or even spoke to me until one night when one of the male strippers called in sick and no power on this earth will make me tell you the rest of that story.
Suffice to say I traded my car in for one that wasn't entirely made of rust,
came trundling back Home to the arms of my loving parents,
where everything was exactly as it was
except
I sleep in the basement
and
I have to pay rent.
How's college?
Buffy:
Male strippers?
Xander:
No power on This Earth!
Buffy:
Ok. College is good.
Xander:
Ok, uh, once more with even less feeling.
Buffy:
No, really! I-I mean, Willow's in heaven
and Oz has this really cool house off campus with the band.
(They both sit on the couch.)
Xander:
And you're sitting here alone at the Bronze
looking like you just got diagnosed with Cancer of the Puppy.
Buffy:
It's just... there was this vampire,
and she took me down, and I just...
I don't know how to stop her.
Xander:
Then where's the gang?
Avengers Assemble!
Let's get it going!
Buffy:
No, I don't want to bug them.
I mean they're just starting school, and they don't need this.
Xander:
Ok Buff, what's the 'what' here?
Buffy:
It's just --
What if I can't cut it?
Xander:
Can't cut what?
Slaying?
Buffy:
Slaying, everything.
Xander:
Buffy, this is all about Fear.
It's understandable, but you can't let it control you.
'Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to anger.'
No wait, hold on.
'Fear leads to hate.
Hate leads to the dark side.'
Hold on, no, umm,
'First you get the women,
then you get the money, then you...'
okay, can we forget that?
Buffy:
Thanks for the Dadaist pep talk,
I feel much more abstract now.
Xander:
The Point is,
You're Buffy.
Buffy:
Yeah, maybe in high school I was Buffy.
Xander:
And now in college you're Betty Louise?
Buffy:
Yeah, I'm Betty Louise Plotnick
of East Cupcake, Illinois.
Or I might as well be.
Xander gets up and crouches down in front of her.
Xander:
Buffy, I've gone through some fairly dark times in my life,
faced some scary things, among them the kitchen at
'The Fabulous Ladies Night Club.'
Let me tell you something --
When it's Dark and I'm all Alone
and I'm Scared or Freaked-out or whatever,
I always think,
'What would Buffy do?'
You're My Hero.
Ok, sometimes when it's Dark and I'm all Alone I think,
'What is Buffy wearing...?'
Buffy:
Can that be one of those things you never, ever, tell me about?
Xander:
It's a deal.
(He stands up.)
Let's put this bitch in The Ground!
What do you say?
She holds out her right hand and he helps her up.
Buffy:
I think I say 'Thank You'.
Xander:
And nothing says 'Thank You',
like dollars in the waistband.
Ok, what do we do first?
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