After The Earth was used up, we found a new solar system and hundreds of new Earths were terraformed and colonized.
The central planets formed The Alliance and decided all the planets had to join under their rule.
There was some disagreement on that point.
After The War, many of the Independents who had fought and lost drifted to the edges of the system, far from Alliance control.
Out here, people struggled to get by with the most basic technologies; a ship would bring you work, a gun would help you keep it.
A Captain's goal was simple: find a crew, find a job, keep flying.
'You Don't Belong Here, You Don't Belong on Our Soil,
Yes, You Guys are Progressive,
You've Got Great Medicine, Incredible Healthcare Plan,
You've Got Freedom of Religion,
You've Got All These Great Things
and
We Don't Have That Stuff,
and
Some of Our Customs are Arcane,
and
Some of Them, Maybe, a Little Barbaric -
But We Have a Right to Be Ourselves.'
— Joss Wheedon
INT. BAR - DAY
It's a small, disreputable place, doing a brisk but low-key business. Most of the people here are probably up to something they don't want other people to know about. The dark wood and clutter suggest a Western space, but it is definitely multi-cultural: a bellydancer makes her way about the room, and everyone's mode of dress is diverse -- though none is too fancy.
We follow a BELLY DANCER's undulating belly through the space, coming to a table with three people sitting at it. ZOE and JAYNE are more or less facing us, MAL has his back mostly turned. The three are concentrating on a game we can't see.
Those who look carefully will spot the bellydancer's hand as it slips Mal a piece of paper, which he slips in turn into his pocket.
JAYNE
(to Mal)
Your move.
Camera ARMS UP to see the game on the table is Chinese Checkers. Mal moves.
ZOE
That's a bold move.
MAL
I live on the edge.
Zoe makes a much better move.
JAYNE
(to Mal)
Nice work, dumbass.
MAL
I've given some thought to moving
off the edge, it's not an ideal
location... might get a place in
the middle...
VOICEOVER (O.S.)
A toast!
The VOICE is surly, loud. Trouble waiting to happen. As it speaks, Mal turns back towards camera and we see him in closeup. Calm, assessing the danger.
ANGLE: The guy who spoke, LUND. A drunken dick, holding court at the bar.
LUND
A toast. Shut up! Quiet, I'm, I
got words. I'm say, this is an
asspishus day. We all know what
day it is...
ANGLE: The gang. Mal is stone-faced, Zoe the same. They clearly know where this is going. Jayne has no clue.
JAYNE
Suspicious? What day is it?
LUND
A glorious day for all the proud
members of the Allied planets.
Unification Day! The end of the
Independent scumbags and the dawn
of a new galaxy! Yeah-huh!
He downs a shot.
Mal is grabbing his empty glass, rising.
ZOE
Captain...
MAL
Just feeling the need for a drink.
JAYNE
(not paying attention)
What month is it?
Mal moves to the bar, far from Lund.
MAL
(in Chinese)
< Can I have one more glass of Ng-
Ka-Pei, please? >
Lund, naturally, sidles up to him.
LUND
You gonna drink to the Alliance with me?
Mal looks at him, looks away.
LUND
(continuing)
Six years today... The Alliance sent the browncoats running, pissing their pants.
Mal is not biting. He gets his drink, tosses a weird looking bill on the bar.
LUND
(continuing)
Your coat's kind of a brownish color...
MAL
It was on sale.
He drinks.
LUND
You didn't toast! You know, I'm thinking you're one of them. Independents.
MAL
And I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling.
So why don't we just ignore each other till we go away?
He turns back to the bar. Lund pursues.
LUND
The Independents were a bunch of inbred, cowardly pisspots shoulda been killed off a every world spinnin'.
Mal turns, ready for the fight.
MAL
Say that to my face.
LUND
I said, you're a coward and a
pisspot. Now what're you gonna do
about it?
Mal smiles casually.
MAL
Nothing. I just wanted you to face
me so she could get behind you.
Lund spins and Zoe SWAPS him with the butt of her sawed-off. He goes down.
Mal and Zoe smile grimly at each other as she holsters the weapon.
MAL
(continuing)
Drunks are so cute.
Suddenly, seven GUYS stand up, seeing what happened to Lund. They are not wearing colors like Mal and Zoe's.
MAL
(continuing; in
Chinese)
< Oh, this is a happy
development... >
Zoe turns, sees the coming fight.
ZOE
Jayne...
ANGLE: Jayne: Sits, unconcerned.
JAYNE
Hey, I didn't fight in no war.
Best of luck, though...
MAL
Fine. Lets do this.
EXT - BAR - CONTINUING (AFTERNOON)
Mal goes flying through the front window -- only it's not glass, rather an ionized field that CRACKLES and REFORMS after he passes through.
He rolls in the dirt, stops. Looking up, he hears the sound of fighting within -- we might notice at this point that the sky contains THREE MOONS, one so close it looks like another planet on the horizon.
Mal shakes off the punch, pulls out a transmitter.
MAL
(into transmitter)
Wash, we got some local color happening... a grand entrance would not go amiss...
Zoe comes flying out the door, takes two others with her, giving them hell.
Mal rises, helps her put them down.
MAL
(continuing)
Is Jayne even awake --
Three guys come backwards out of the bar, driven by the table Jayne is wielding. Another comes behind and he elbows him into dreamland without even looking back. Jayne is an incredible fighter.
Our gang ends up side by side, facing an angry bunch of at least ten guys. We might notice our three backed up at the EDGE OF A CLIFF.
MAL
(continuing)
Well, there's just an acre of you fellows...
(to Zoe)
This is why we lost, you know: superior numbers.
ZOE
Thanks for the reenactment, sir.
Lund forces his way through the crowd and pulls his gun. This changes things. Our gang look at each other.
JAYNE
Them ain't kosherized rules...
Others pull guns (even though they feel odd about it). Our gang don't yet.
LUND
I'm thinking someone should put you down, dog.
What do you think?
MAL
I'm thinking we'll rise again.
It is at this moment that SERENITY rises from behind the cliff, dwarfing our combatants.
Wind rips through everyone, the assailants starting back in fear (and grit in their eyes).
An amplified voice (WASH's) comes over a loudspeaker:
WASH (O.S.)
Every man there go back inside or we will blow a new crater in this little moon.
Lund and the others back off, grumbling but cowed.
ANGLE: Behind our heroes.
The airlock door opens and our gang step onto it from the cliff face.
INT. AIRLOCK/CARGO BAY - CONTINUING
The doors shut behind them. Mal and Zoe head upstairs as Jayne wanders off, saying:
JAYNE
Damn yokels can't even tell a transport ship ain't got no guns on it.
(chuckling)
"Blow a new crater in this moon..."
INT. FOREDECK HALL/BRIDGE - MOMENTS LATER
Mal and Zoe are entering the bridge as Kaylee is coming up the hall behind them, grease on her face and some unidentifiable ship part in her hand. She's thrilled by the drama.
MAL
(to Wash)
Nice save.
WASH
Pleasure.
MAL
How are our passengers?
KAYLEE
They're fine. What happened? Was there a terrible brawl?
ZOE
(eyeing Mal)
Oddly enough, there was.
WASH
You getting my wife into trouble?
MAL
What? I didn't start it. Just wanted a quiet drink.
ZOE
Funny, Sir, how you always find yourself in some Alliance-friendly bar come U-Day, looking for a
"quiet drink."
MAL
See, this is a sign of your tragic space dementia. All paranoid and crotchety, it breaks the heart.
WASH
Well did we least make a contact?
Mal smiles, produces the piece of paper handed him by the bellydancer.
Mal
Ladies and menfolk, we got ourselves a job.
He hands the paper to Zoe.
MAL
(continuing)
Take us out of The World, Wash.
(looking ahead)
Got us some crime to be done.
EXT. SERENITY - CONTINUING
As it blasts past camera, heading out of the atmosphere.
END OF TEASER
BOY 1
Do you get scared coming to work at the White House?
JOSH
No. I mean, we're bystanders, basically, and we work around a lot of people who routinely put themselves in harm's way-the Secret Service and the military.
You know, the protection detail?
They practice a thousand different scenarios for a gun: who tackles the president, who opens the car, who's covering the perimeter, and there's one guy whose job it is to stand in front of the bullet.
Not get the shooter - stand in front of the bullet. I've seen him do it.
GIRL 1
Do you ever think about quitting?
JOSH
No.
[hesitates for a moment, and continues]
Well... my, uh... my mother wants me to.
My family members have a habit of, uh, dying before you're supposed too.
So it's just me and my mom now and...
You guys know I guess, that I got accidentally shot a little bit or something at Rosslyn.
So, she'd like to see me in the private sector.
But I tell her my government salary may not be a lot, but I still make more than the guy whose job it is to stand in front of the bullet, so how do I tell him I'm quitting?
So she made me this box that I'm supposed to keep in the trunk of my car, and it's got a super-powered flashlight, five gallons of water, and a transistor radio, and some first aid.
But she keeps thinking of things to add to it. She'll call and say, uh,
"I found that cap that Dad got Joe Pepitone to sign for you on your birthday.
You wore it to school every day in the seventh grade.
You want me to send it to you so you can put it in the box?"
Josh has trailed off a bit, and stops for a moment, looking sad and serious.
He looks around the room for a moment. He starts up again, livelier.
JOSH
So... I'll say
"Yeah, Ma, let's put it in the box."
Josh gives a little chuckle. He walks over, leaning against something by the wall.
JOSH
So anyway, I... I don't know against who, and I don't know what it's going to look like, but one of these days we're gonna have a big win, and for a lot of us who've seen what we've seen, we're not leaving till we do.
I'm gonna be here six presidents from now, in my office, Wile E. Coyote and a map.
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