A Race of Warriors

Nor Shall My Sword Sleep at my Side...

DOCTOR: 

Well, believe me, I know the Ice Warriors, Jo. 

They're a savage and a warlike race. 

[Usually only with each other.]

No, among the delegates, only Ssorg's strength could have shifted that statue. 

JO: 

I still think you're jumping to conclusions. 

IZLYR:

 Sit down, Princess. 

Why did you try to escape? 

JO: 

I was frightened. 

Can you blame me? 

IZLYR: 

So, Princess, you believe that we tried to kill Arcturus. 

JO: 

Well if you didn't, 

why was the missing servo-unit in your room? 

IZLYR: 

Perhaps you brought it here as part of your scheme to trap us. 

JO: 

But that's just Not True! 

I... One of you must have tried to kill Arcturus. 

IZLYR: 

Nobody tried to kill him. 

JO: 

What? 

IZLYR: 

To destroy Arcturus, 

the helium regenerator must be deactivated. 

JO: 

What about the unit? 

IZLYR: 

Merely sensor equipment. 

Disconnecting that only produces metabolic coma. 

JO: 

So it couldn't be fatal? 

IZLYR: 

Only uncomfortable. 

JO: 

I'm sorry if I might have misjudged you, 

but the Doctor did say you were A Race of Warriors. 

[That isn't quite what he said, now is it...?]

IZLYR: 

We were once, but now we reject violence 

except in self-defence. 

JO: 

What about Ssorg's gun? 

This is supposed to be a peaceful mission. 

IZLYR: 

Unfortunately, in order to preserve Peace, it is necessary to Survive. 

JO: 

Well, if you didn't do it, who did? 

Who could benefit by it? 

IZLYR: 

Perhaps The Doctor will be able to explain.

"Whoever you hate will end up in your Family. 

You don't like Gays? 

You're gonna have a Gay Son. 

You don't like Puerto Ricans? 

Your daughter's gonna come home with 

'Livin' La Vida Loca!' *

[ * That is one catchy-ass song!  That shit is like the Puerto Rican 'WHOMP! There it Is'..! ]

You hate Warriors - Well, Guess What...?

The Way of The Warrior has been misunderstood 

as a means to kill and destroy others.

Those who seek Competition are making a grave mistake.

To smash, injure or destroy 

is the worst sin a human being can commit.

The real Way of The Warrior is to prevent slaughter - 

it is The Art of Peace, The Power of Love.

Saruman: 

You have fought many wars and slain many Men, Théoden-King, and made peace afterwards. 

Can we not take council together as we once did, my old friend? 

Can we not have peace, you and I?

Théoden: 

We shall have peace. 

We shall have peace, when you answer for the burning of the Westfold, and the children that lie dead there! 

We shall have peace, when the lives of the soldiers, whose bodies were hewn even as they lay dead against the Gates of the Hornburg, are avenged! 

When you hang from a gibbet, for the sport of your own crows, we shall have peace!

Saruman: 

Gibbets and crows?! Dotard!

What do you want, Gandalf Greyhame?

 Let me guess - the Keys of Orthanc? 

Or perhaps the Keys of Barad-dûr itself, 

along with 

The Crowns of  Seven Kings 

and the rods of the Five Wizards!

Gandalf the White: 

Your treachery has already cost many lives. 

Thousands more are now at risk.

But you could save them, Saruman. 

You were deep in The Enemy's council.

Saruman: [smiling] 

So you have come here for information. 

I have some for you.

Something festers in the heart of Middle Earth. 

[ It Does.]

Something that you have failed to see. 

[ He Has.]

But the Great Eye has seen it. 

[ True. ]

Even now, he presses his advantage. 

His attack will come soon. 

[ True. ]

You are all going to die.

[ True. But no Today. Today is not a Good Day to Die.]

But you know this, don't you, Gandalf? 

[ He Does.]

You cannot think that this Ranger will ever sit upon the Throne of Gondor! 

[ He Does.]

This exile, crept from The Shadows, will never be crowned King! 

[ Ouch. Wishful Thinking by The White Wizard - Swing & a Miss. ]

Gandalf does not hesitate to sacrifice those closest to him, those he professes to love. 

[ He Does. But not to excess. And that group of people includes Himself. ]

Tell me, what words of comfort did you give the halfling, before you sent him to his doom? 

The path that you have set him on can only lead to Death.

[ True. But no Today. It's a Wasting Death. ]

Gimli: 

I've heard enough! 

Shoot him, stick an arrow in his gob!

Gandalf the White: 

No. Come down, Saruman, and your life will be spared.

Saruman: 

Save your pity and your mercy! 

I have no use for it!

Gandalf the White: [sternly]

Saruman! Your staff is broken!

[ And it is. ]

Théoden: 

Gríma! You need not follow him. 

You were not always as you are now. 

You were once a Man of Rohan!

 Come down.

Saruman: 

"A Man of Rohan"?

What is the House of Rohan, but a thatched barn, where brigards drink in the reek, and their brats roll on the floor with the dogs?! 

[ Currently True. ]

The victory at Helm's Deep does not belong to you, Théoden Horse-Master! 

[ True.]

You are a Lesser Son of Greater Sires!

[ Also True. But irrelevant. ]

[ Arthur was a bastard, born of Lies, Treachery and Rape. ]

Théoden: 

Gríma, come down. 

Be free of him.

Saruman: 

Free?! He will never be free!

Gríma Wormtongue: 

No.

Saruman: 

Get down, cur! 

Gandalf the White: 

Saruman! 

You were deep in The Enemy's council. 

Tell us what you know.

Saruman: 

You withdraw your guard and I will tell you where your doom will be decided. 

I will not be held prisoner here!

[ All True - His Kung-Fu is still The Best. Even with no Rod ]

"Whoever you hate will end up in your Family.