CUT TO: EXT. A TREE LINED STREET - NIGHT
Laurie and Janeane are walking, laughing, and drunk. Sam is waiting nearby on a set of stairs.
SAM
You are both drunk and disorderly.
LAURIE
Oh my God.
SAM
Happy graduation.
LAURIE
How did you...?
JANEANE
Surprise!
LAURIE
Janeane?
SAM
We worked in cahoots.
JANEANE
We did.
LAURIE
You planned this?
This is why you dragged me back to your apartment.
JANEANE
Oh, are you glad that I dragged you back to my apartment?
LAURIE
Yes.
JANEANE
Well then, be quiet, and I'll be upstairs.
Janeane takes a champagne bottle from Laurie and heads up the steps to her door.
SAM
Good night, Janeane.
LAURIE
Good night, Janeane.
[to Sam]
What'd you get me?
SAM
A graduation gift.
LAURIE
Is it a briefcase?
Did I just ruin it?
I only asked because a briefcase is the typical
law school graduation gift, and when I said 'typical', I don't mean boring.
I just mean basic, and when I say basic, I don't mean boring, either.
Sam hands her a small long box.
SAM
Open the box.
LAURIE
You bought me a pen?
SAM
It's a good one.
It writes upside down and you can use that pen in outer space.
Laurie chuckles and closes the box.
LAURIE
Where's my present?
Sam reaches into a bag on the steps and pulls out a briefcase. Laurie is stunned.
SAM
Happy graduation, counselor.
LAURIE
Thank you.
Sam hugs Laurie.
SAM
Way to go, Laurie.
LAURIE
Thank you.
We cut to a view through a camera viewfinder as someone takes a couple pictures of Sam and Laurie hugging each other.
SAM
I have to go.
You spending the night here, or are you going to take off?
LAURIE
No, I'm going to go upstairs to Janeane's. She's got a...
A car starts up and squeals away.
SAM
Did you see anybody get into that car?
Laurie and Sam stare down the empty street.
FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE
* * *
ACT FOUR
FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY
WEDNESDAY MORNING
36 HOURS INTO POLLING
CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE AREA - DAY
Sam is waiting outside. Toby comes out of C.J.'s office. Toby and Sam head
to see
the President.
TOBY
He's ready to see us.
SAM
What'd he say?
TOBY
He said, "Get your ass over here."
SAM
I've drafted a letter of resignation.
TOBY
Well you're not going to give it to him, Sam, because that would deny me the pleasure of throwing you out through a plate glass window.
SAM
You have every right to say that.
TOBY
Thank you for acknowledging that right.
SAM
Toby...
TOBY
I should keep you on a leash, you know that?
They run into Leo.
SAM
Leo...
LEO
I'm talking to C.J., then I'm talking to you.
TOBY
Ten-foot chain around your neck.
I bolt you to your desk and have someone come in and
feed you.
CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - DAY
C.J. is at her desk on the phone.
C.J.
[into phone]
I'm going to check, but I'm almost certain the President was
referring to the NASDAQ composite and not the 30-year Treasury yield.
[listens]
Not the DOW Industrials, the NASDAQ composite.
Leo barges into C.J.'s office and slams the door, startling C.J.
C.J.
[into phone]
Okay, someone here is going to get back to you. [hangs up]
LEO
How do you not tell me until this morning?
C.J.
Leo...
LEO
How do you not call me last night?
C.J.
We didn't know anything last night.
[stands up]
LEO
Sam called you.
C.J.
That's right.
He met the girl and saw a suspicious car.
I'm not going to call up the
White House Chief of Staff in the middle of the night because someone started a car.
LEO
C.J., if it was...
C.J.
I was handling it, Leo.
It took me three hours to confirm there was a picture,
and another hour to find out who has it.
LEO
Who has it?
C.J.
The London Daily Mirror.
They paid a waitress friend of hers $50,000 to set it up and confirm that she was a call girl.
LEO
When is it running?
C.J.
It'll run later today.
American Press has it tomorrow morning.
LEO
He was giving her a graduation present?
C.J.
Yeah.
LEO
Work the Post and the Times.
C.J.
Yeah.
Leo leaves as C.J. sits back down in her chair in relief.
CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE PORTICO - DAY
Sam, Toby, and Bartlet are walking and enter through one of the glass doors.
BARTLET
You never paid this girl to have sex?
SAM
No sir.
TOBY
They didn't have that kind of relationship, sir.
Except once, and that time he didn't know what was happening.
BARTLET
Well, that makes two of us.
TOBY
Mr. President, Sam has always been completely above board about his relationship with Laurie.
BARTLET
Laurie's the girl?
SAM
Yes, sir.
TOBY
He told us about it right after his first contact with her nine months ago.
The fact that she was putting herself through law school, under circumstances that were less than good, has to mean something, as is the fact that Sam's word is unimpeachable.
BARTLET
Toby, are you in here sticking up for Sam?
TOBY
I know it's strange, sir. But I'm feeling a-a... certain big brotherly connection right now.
You know, obviously, I'd like that feeling to go away as soon as possible.
But for the moment, I think there's no danger in the White House standing by Sam and aggressively going after the people who set him up.
Sam looks at Toby a bit stunned.
BARTLET
[big sigh] Sam, you're going to spend the morning in the White House Counsel's office finding out if you've broke any laws.
SAM
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
You should also call the girl... what's her name?
SAM
Laurie.
BARTLET
You should call her and tell her the White House deeply regrets the phenomenal inconvenience she's about to experience.
SAM
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
You might also want to point out to her that she probably has a cause of action against the paper.
SAM
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
And you should tell her that if she passes her Bar exam, the U.S. Attorney General will personally see to it that she's admitted to the Bar.
SAM
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Tell her the President of the United States says congratulations on getting her degree.
SAM
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
That's all.
SAM
Thank you, Mr. President.
Sam, still stunned beyond belief, leaves THE OVAL OFFICE.
BARTLET
It's nice when we can do something for prostitutes once in a while, isn't it?
GILGAMESH KING IN URUK
I WILL proclaim to the world the deeds of Gilgamesh. This was the man to whom all things were known; this was the king who knew the countries of the world. He was wise, he saw mysteries and knew secret things, he brought us a tale of the days before the flood. He went on a long journey, was weary, worn-out with labour, returning he rested, he engraved on a stone the whole story.
When the gods created Gilgamesh they gave him a perfect body. Shamash the glorious sun endowed him with beauty, Adad the god of the storm endowed him with courage, the great gods made his beauty perfect, surpassing all others, terrifying like a great wild bull. Two thirds they made him god and one third man.
In Uruk he built walls, a great rampart, and the temple of blessed Eanna for the god of the firmament Anu, and for Ishtar the goddess of love. Look at it still today: the outer wall where the cornice runs, it shines with the brilliance of copper; and the inner wall, it has no equal. Touch the threshold, it is ancient. Approach Eanna the dwelling of Ishtar, our lady of love and war, the like of which no latter-day king, no man alive can equal. Climb upon the wall of Uruk; walk along it, I say; regard the foundation terrace and examine the. masonry: is it not burnt brick and good? The seven sages laid the foundations.
1
THE COMING OF ENKIDU
GILGAMESH went abroad in the world, but he met with none who could withstand his arms till be came to Uruk. But the men of Uruk muttered in their houses, 'Gilgamesh sounds the tocsin for his amusement, his arrogance has no bounds by day or night. No son is left with his father, for Gilgamesh takes them all, even the children; yet the king should be a shepherd to his people. His lust leaves no virgin to her lover, neither the warrior's daughter nor the wife of the noble; yet this is the shepherd of the city, wise, comely, and resolute.'
The gods heard their lament, the gods of heaven cried to the Lord of Uruk, to Anu the god of Uruk:
'A goddess made him, strong as a savage bull, none can withstand his arms. No son is left with his father, for Gilgamesh takes them all; and is this the king, the shepherd of his people? His lust leaves no virgin to her lover, neither the warrior's daughter nor the wife of the noble. When Anu had heard their lamentation the gods cried to Aruru, the goddess of creation,
'You made him, O Aruru; now create his equal; let it be as like him as his own reflection, his second self; stormy heart for stormy heart. Let them contend together and leave Uruk in quiet.'
So the goddess conceived an image in her mind, and it was of the stuff of Anu of the firmament. She dipped her hands in water and pinched off clay, she let it fall in the wilderness, and noble Enkidu was created. There was virtue in him of the god of war, of Ninurta himself. His body was rough, he had long hair like a woman's; it waved like the hair of Nisaba, the goddess of corn. His body was covered with matted hair like Samugan's, the god of cattle. He was innocent of mankind; he knew nothing of the cultivated land.
Enkidu ate grass in the hills with the gazelle and lurked with wild beasts at the water-holes; he had joy of the water with the herds of wild game. But there was a trapper who met him one day face to face at the drinking-hole, for the wild game had entered his territory. On three days he met him face to face, and the trapper was frozen with fear. He went back to his house with the game that he had caught, and he was dumb, benumbed with terror. His face was altered like that of one who has made a long journey. With awe in his heart he spoke to his father: 'Father, there is a man, unlike any other, who comes down from the hills. He is the strongest in the world, he is like an immortal from heaven. He ranges over the hills with wild beasts and eats grass; the ranges through your land and comes down to the wells. I am afraid and dare not go near him. He fills in the pits which I dig and tears up-my traps set for the game; he helps the beasts to escape and now they slip through my fingers.'
His father opened his mouth and said to the trapper, 'My son, in Uruk lives Gilgamesh; no one has ever prevailed against him, he is strong as a star from heaven. Go to Uruk, find Gilgamesh, extol the strength of this wild man. Ask him to give you a harlot, a wanton from the temple of love; return with her, and let her woman's power overpower this man. When next he comes down to drink at the wells she will be there, stripped naked; and when he sees her beckoning he will embrace her, and then the wild beasts will reject him.'
So the trapper set out on his journey to Uruk and addressed himself to Gilgamesh saying, 'A man unlike any other is roaming now in the pastures; he is as strong as a star from heaven and I am afraid to approach him. He helps the wild game to escape; he fills in my pits and pulls up my traps.' Gilgamesh said, 'Trapper, go back, take with you a harlot, a child of pleasure. At the drinking hole she will strip, and when, he sees her beckoning he will embrace her and the game of the wilderness will. surely reject him.'
Now the trapper returned, taking the harlot with him. After a three days' journey they came to the drinking hole, and there they sat down; the harlot and the trapper sat . facing one another and waited for the game to come. For the first day and for the second day the two sat waiting, but on the third day the herds came; they came down to drink and Enkidu was with them. The small wild creatures of the plains were glad of the water, and Enkidu with them, who ate grass with the gazelle and was born in the hills; and she saw him, the savage man, come from far-off in the hills. The trapper spoke to her: 'There he is. Now, woman, make your breasts bare, have no shame, do not delay but welcome his love. Let him see you naked, let him possess your body. When he comes near uncover yourself and lie with him; teach him, the savage man, your woman's art, for when he murmurs love to you the wild' beasts that shared his life in the hills will reject him.'
She was not ashamed to take him, she made herself naked and welcomed his eagerness; as he lay on her murmuring love she taught him the woman's art For six days and seven nights they lay together, for Enkidu had forgotten his home in the hills; but when he was satisfied he went back to the wild beasts. Then, when the gazelle saw him, they bolted away; when the wild creatures saw him they fled. Enkidu would have followed, but his body was bound as though with a cord, his knees gave way when he started to run, his swiftness was gone. And now the wild creatures had all fled away; Enkidu was grown weak, for wisdom was in him, and the thoughts of a man were in his heart. So he returned and sat down at the woman's feet, and listened intently to what she said. 'You are wise, Enkidu, and now you have become like a god. Why do you want to run wild with the beasts in the hills? Come with me. I will take you to strong-walled Uruk, to the blessed temple of Ishtar and of Anu, of love and of heaven there Gilgamesh lives, who is very strong, and like a wild bull he lords it over men.'
When she had spoken Enkidu was pleased; he longed for a comrade, for one who would understand his heart. 'Come, woman, and take me to that holy temple, to the house of Anu and of Ishtar, and to the place where Gilgamesh lords it over the people. I will challenge him boldly, I will cry out aloud in Uruk, "I am the strongest here, I have come to change the old order, I am he who was born in the hills, I am he who is strongest of all."'
She said, 'Let us go, and let him see your face. I know very well where Gilgamesh is in great Uruk. O Enkidu, there all the people are dressed in their gorgeous robes, every day is holiday, the young men and the girls are wonderful to see. How sweet they smell! All the great ones are roused from their beds. O Enkidu, you who love life, I will show you Gilgamesh, a man of many moods; you shall look at him well in his radiant manhood. His body is perfect in strength and maturity; he never rests by night or day. He is stronger than you, so leave your boasting. Shamash the glorious sun has given favours to Gilgamesh, and Anu of the heavens, and Enlil, and Ea the wise has given him deep understanding. f tell you, even before you have left the wilderness, Gilgamesh will know in his dreams that you are coming.'
Now Gilgamesh got up to tell his dream to his mother; Ninsun, one of the wise gods. 'Mother, last night I had a dream. I was full of joy, the young heroes were round me and I walked through the night under the stars of the firmament, and one, a meteor of the stuff of Anu, fell down from heaven. I tried to lift it but it proved too heavy. All the people of Uruk came round to see it, the common people jostled and the nobles thronged to kiss its feet; and to me its attraction was like the love of woman. They helped me, I braced my forehead and I raised it with thongs and brought it to you, and you yourself pronounced it my brother.'
Then Ninsun, who is well-beloved and wise, said to Gilgamesh, 'This star of heaven which descended like a meteor from the sky; which you tried to lift,- but found too heavy, when you tried to move it it would not budge, and so you brought it to my feet; I made it for you, a goad and spur, and you were drawn as though to a woman. This is the strong comrade, the one who brings help to his friend in his need. He is the strongest of wild creatures, the stuff of Anu; born in the grass-lands and the wild hills reared him; when you see him you will be glad; you will love him as a woman and he will never forsake you. This is the meaning of the dream.'
Gilgamesh said, 'Mother, I dreamed a second dream. In the streets of strong-walled Uruk there lay an axe; the shape of it was strange and the people thronged round. I saw it and was glad. I bent down, deeply drawn towards it; I loved it like a woman and wore it at my side.' Ninsun answered, 'That axe, which you saw, which drew you so powerfully like love of a woman, that is the comrade whom I give you, and he will come in his strength like one of the host of heaven. He is the brave companion who rescues his friend in necessity.' Gilgamesh said to his mother, 'A friend, a counsellor has come to me from Enlil, and now I shall befriend and counsel him.' So Gilgamesh told his dreams; and the harlot retold them to Enkidu.
And now she said to Enkidu, 'When I look at you you have become like a god. Why do you yearn to run wild again with the beasts in the hills? Get up from the ground, the bed of a shepherd.' He listened to her words with care. It was good advice that she gave. She divided her clothing in two and with the one half she clothed him and with the other herself, and holding his hand she led him like a child to the sheepfolds, into the shepherds' tents. There all the shepherds crowded round to see him, they put down bread in front of him, but Enkidu could only suck the milk of wild animals. He fumbled and gaped, at a loss what to do or how he should eat the bread and drink the strong wine. Then the woman said, 'Enkidu, eat bread, it is the staff of life; drink the wine, it is the custom of the land.' So he ate till he was full and drank strong wine, seven goblets. He became merry, his heart exulted and his face shone. He rubbed down the matted hair of his body and anointed himself with oil. Enkidu had become a man; but when he had put on man's clothing he appeared like a bridegroom. He took arms to hunt the lion so that the shepherds could rest at night. He caught wolves and lions and the herdsmen lay down in peace; for Enkidu was their watchman, that strong man who had no rival.
He was merry living with the shepherds, till one day lifting his eyes he saw a man approaching. He said to the harlot, 'Woman, fetch that man here. Why has he come? I wish to know his name.' She went and called the man saying, 'Sir, where are you going on this weary journey?' The man answered, saying to Enkidu, 'Gilgamesh has gone into the marriage-house and shut out the people. He does strange things in Uruk, the city of great streets. At the roll of the drum work begins for the men, and work for the women. Gilgamesh the king is about to celebrate marriage with the Queen of Love, and he still demands to be first with the bride, the king to be first and the husband to follow, for that was ordained by the gods from his birth, from the time the umbilical cord was cut. But now the drums roll for the choice of the bride and the city groans.' At these words Enkidu turned white in the face. 'I will go to the place where Gilgamesh lords it over the people, I will challenge him boldly, and I will cry aloud in Uruk, "I have come to change the old order, for I am the strongest here."
Now Enkidu strode in front and the woman followed behind. He entered Uruk, that great market, and all the folk thronged round him where he stood in the street in strong-walled Uruk. The people jostled; speaking of him they said, 'He is the spit of Gilgamesh. 'He is shorter.' 'He is bigger of bone.' This is the one who was reared on the milk of wild beasts. His is the greatest strength.' The men rejoiced: 'Now Gilgamesh has met his match. This great-one, this hero whose beauty is like a god, he is a match even for Gilgamesh.'
In Uruk the bridal bed was made, fit for the goddess of love. The bride waited for the bridegroom, but in the night Gilgamesh got up and came to the house. Then Enkidu stepped out, he stood in the street and blocked the way. Mighty Gilgamesh came on and Enkidu met him at the gate. He put out his foot and prevented Gilgamesh from entering the house, so they grappled, holding each other like bulls. They broke the doorposts and the walls shook, they snorted like bulls locked together. They shattered the doorposts and the walls shook. Gilgamesh bent his knee with his foot planted on the ground and with a turn Enkidu was thrown. Then immediately his fury died. When Enkidu was thrown he said to Gilgamesh, 'There is not another like you in the world. Ninsun, who is as strong as a wild ox in the byre, she was the mother who bore you, and now you are raised above all men, and Enlil has given you the kingship, for your strength surpasses the strength of men.' So Enkidu and Gilgamesh embraced and their friendship was sealed.
