Yeah, Got That. Stop ‘droid-Splaining, Data

[Hotel room]

RIKER : 

There's also one other thing, 

A Diary with obviously made 

by Colonel Richey.

PICARD [OC]: 

Can you read it?

RIKER: 

Yes —

“ I write this in the hope that it 

will someday be read by human eyes. 

I can only surmise at this point, 

but apparently our exploratory shuttle was contaminated by an alien life form which infected and killed all personnel except myself.

I awakened to find myself here in The Royale Hotel, precisely as described in The Novel I found in my room.

And for the last thirty eight years I have survived here. 

I have come to understand that the alien contaminators created this place for me out of some sense of guilt,  presuming that The Novel we had on board the shuttle about The Hotel Royale was in fact a guide to our preferred lifestyle and social habits. Obviously, they thought this was The World from which I came.

I hold no malice toward my benefactors. 

They could not possibly know the hell they have put me through, for it was such a BADLY WRITTEN book, filled with endless cliché and shallow characters —

I shall welcome Death when it comes.”

RIKER [OC]: 

A bizarre incident 

just took place.

PICARD: 

The shoot-out between 

The Bellboy and Mickey D.

RIKER: 

Yes, and Mickey D 

just walked out the door. 

How did he DO that?

PICARD: 

It's on page 244.

RIKER: 

In The Novel. Right. 

How does it end?

PICARD: 

A bad love affair ends 

in a bloody shoot-out, 

The Hotel gets bought-

out, and Life goes on, 

such as it is.

RIKER: 

The Hotel gets bought? 

By whom?

PICARD: 

It isn't specific. It simply 

refers to foreign investors. 

Sale price, 12.5 Million 

United States Dollars.

They return Home, leaving the Assistant-Manager in charge.

RIKER: 

Captain, that's how 

we're getting out —

We're BUYING 

this place.

DATA: 

Commander — these cubes 

are improperly-balanced. 

I believe their final resting position would be —

RIKER: 

Can you REPAIR them?

DATA: 

I believe so — (to the pit-boss) 

I will make another attempt.

(He gives The Dice a good squeeze to even them up)

DATA: 

Baby needs a new 

pair of shoes— (ROLL)