Superman’s Guards

Superman | Sneak Peek

"So I go back into it and I read it and 

and when I'm all done he's like “Alright, 

I think we got a movie,  here —”

he's going “The Problem, though you're 

missing some beats , some action beats 

you need an action beat every 10 pages 

something big has to happen 

I said “What are you thinkin’ about…?” 

He's like well it's just an example, like 

when you go you have a scene where 

Brainiac goes to The Fortress of Solitude 

looking for Superman -- 

(Superman's dead at this point -- 

hope I didn't spoil the movie for anybody —)

"-- so Brainiac's looking for 

Superman at The Fortress of Solitude 

and something should happen there 

there should be a big [ __ ] fight 

I'm like “— but, Superman's Dead at this point —

he's like, "I know I know but can't Brainiac 

fights something else up there?"

and I was like well like what...?

He's like what about, like, 

Superman's Guards, or Soldiers 

And I'm like "....why -- 

Why would Superman need guards...? 

You know he's --

He's Superman he's and -- 

Plus, it's called "The Fortress 

of Solitude" -- nobody's up there..." 

And he said, "Well, Jesus Christ --

he's going how about -- what about, 

where is it is, in The Antarctic?" 

I said yeah 

he's like, "What about polar bears? 

and I was like polar bears 

he said "Yeah, have 'em.... 

have 'em fight some polar bears -- 

Brainiac shows up, he's trying 

to get in The Fortress 

polar bears come at him and 

he just fuckin' kills one -- and 

one runs away -- 

'Cuz we don't want 

to piss off The PETA-People." 

And I said, "You want me to write a scene 

where Brainiac is wrastling polar bears....?" 

And he says, "Yeah, you know anything 

about polar bears...?" and I said, "....no I don't --" 

He's like "Polar bear's the fiercest killers 

in The Animal Kingdom --" [Applause] 

-- and at this point I'm just like 

"This dude has way too much 

access to The Discovery Channel...."