Saturday, 28 June 2025

A Very Bad Man in a Fast Car





It's a potion I've invented where 
when the patient drinks it he turns into 
an axe-wielding, homicidal maniac! 
It's basically A Cure. For not being 
an axe-wielding, homicidal maniac. 
The potential market's enormous!

Charlton Heston - Omega Man - You're hostile


Richie : 
You know, someone
ought to Do something
about those people.

How about it?

You gonna give them the serum?

Fat chance.

How come?

Well, we'd have to
hang around here

For a few more
months, for one thing.

For another thing,
they're homicidal maniacs,

For god sakes.

Hey, man, they're humans.

I mean, they're sick, you know?

They're vermin.

Ok, then.

If you don't want to
cure them, then k*ll them.

If I just knew where they're at.

The old court
building, that's where.

In the civic center.

That's where they're holed up.

You're kidding me.

They're there.

Well, go on.

Ain't you gonna go
down there and zap 'em?

Why not?

You've been lookin' to k*ll them

For practically 2
whole years now.

Either k*ll them or
cure them, damn it.

No need.

They're half dead right now.

You know what, mister?

You're hostile.

You just don't belong.

Nice of you to let
me hang around.

At times, you scare me
more than matthias does.












[slams the coins on the table]
NEIL: 
Okay, guys. What do we need?

RICK: [putting on jacket] 
Neil, you know exactly what I need. 
Cause all my stuff is marked 
with sticky labels!

VYVYAN: 
Wait a minute! Is yours the stuff with 
the sticky labels with 'Rick' written on it?

RICK: Yes!

VYVYAN: [false compassion] Oh, sod it! I'm very sorry, Rick! I didn't know! I thought it was mine, and I've eaten it! Every last bit!

NEIL:
Look, guys, I know exactly whose food is whose, right. Cause I do all the shopping around here. And I do all the cleaning. My function around here, I might as well be your mothers!

RICK: 
But Neil, we don't hate our mothers!

NEIL: 
Alright, so most metaphors 
don't bear close examination! 
Anyway, for example, [places a plate on the table
This glob of green mould on a saucer is Rick's.

RICK: 
Yes, and I've spat on that, Vyvyan. 
So I wouldn't advise you eat it!

NEIL: 
The urine sample and the Super Mousse are Vyv's.

VYVYAN: 
Yeah, my potion! 
My potion as well!

NEIL: 
What potion?

VYVYAN
It's a potion I've invented where 
when the patient drinks it he turns into 
an axe-wielding, homicidal maniac! 
It's basically cure. For not being 
an axe-wielding, homicidal maniac. 
The potential market's enormous!

NEIL: [taking a Coca-Cola 
can out of the fridge
What, is this it?

VYVYAN
Yeah! Yeah, I put it in a Coke can 
so nobody'd drink it by mistake.

NEIL: [placing can atop the refrigerator
You know, I just bet a bit later on somebody does drink that 
and turns into an axe-wielding, homicidal maniac!

RICK: 
Yes, I bet that as well. That's just the sort 
of crazy, imaginative thing that 
happens around here, isn't it? 
[waits for response] 
I said, 'Isn't it?' [still no response, RICK sulks]

NEIL: [pulling out pad of paper and pencil] Well?

RICK: Well what, hippie?

NEIL: Well, what do we need?

RICK: 
Look, we need everything except 
urine samples, green globules, 
and...and Super Mousse!

NEIL: 
[writing] Everything! 
Right: lentils...wallpaper...

RICK: 
LOOK, JUST GET TO THE SHOPS!


RICK: 
LOOK, JUST GET TO THE SHOPS!

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