Sunday 8 August 2021

Ms. Cain





Chanel-21 News : 
Ms. Lynch! Is New York in Trouble? 

Ms. Lynch,
Special Executive Assistant to 
The Mayor of New York City: 

Everything is Fine

It was just another publicity stunt by these 
incredibly sad and lonely women. 

It's like they read 
'Eat, Pray, Love' 
and just RAN with it..!


Mean Girls - The Politics of girl world

PATTY: 
So, how did the two of you guys meet?


ERIN: 
Uh, Abby transferred 
to my high school, junior year.


ABBY: 
Go, Karate Cats. 
We started telling ghost stories, 
and we just kind of bonded right away. 

And all the other kids were, you know, 
getting drunk and going to parties, 
and we're like, 'Uh, that's stupid.'"


ERIN: 
Plus, we weren't invited to any parties.


ABBY: 
No, I think that's because 
we told very, very scary ghost stories, 
and I think the other kids were terrified of us. 

That's what was 
actually happening.


PATTY
So, how did y'all get into ghosts
Did one of you see one?


ERIN
Yeah, I did.


HOLTZMANN: 
Really?


ERIN: 
When I was eight years old, 
The Mean Old Lady 
that lived next door died. 

And that night, I woke up 
and she was standing at the foot of my bed, 
just staring at me. 

She did that every night 
for almost a year.


PATTY:
What?

[Holtzmann gasps]


ERIN: 
And I told my parents, 
and they didn't believe me. 
Still don't believe me. 

I had to go to therapy for years, 
and the kids at school found out, 
and they would laugh at me 
and make fun of me, 
call me 'ghost girl.' 

Abby was The Only Person 
who believed me.


PATTY: 
Kids is mean, man. 
But I believe you.


ERIN: 
Thanks.


HOLTZMANN :
I have some questions.


PATTY: 
Seriously?


[Holtzman'n winks and smiles]


ROWAN: 
Hello. Looking forward to this metal show. Hi.

METALHEAD: 
Ozzy rocks! 
[high-fives Rowan] 

METALHEAD: 
Whoo!

ROWAN: 
Yeah! It's... He certainly does rock. 

This World cannot be cleansed 
fast enough. 
Hi. Enjoy The Show. 

[Makes the 'rock on' gesture] 
Rock and roll.

ANCHOR: 
A local team of paranormal investigators 
released a video of a proclaimed ghost.
 
You can see clearly there's something in the picture 
that isn't easily explained.


PATTY: 
Oh, my God! They're showing the video! 
We famous! We famous.


ANCHOR: 
As a result, there are a lot of questions being asked now 
about the people who shot the video. 

So, what do we think of these Ghostbusters? 
Are they to be taken seriously? And...


ERIN: 
"Ghostbusters"? That is not our name. 
They can't just make up a name and just call us...


ANCHOR: 
I spoke with Martin Heiss earlier. 
He's with The Council for Logic and Data.

ABBY: 
Okay.

ERIN: 
Martin Heiss. 
Okay, okay.

ABBY: 
Okay.


ANCHOR: 
He is a famed 
Debunker of The Paranormal. 

Dr. Heiss, you're a 
Highly Regarded Scientific Authority. 

Your credentials are impeccable.


HEISS: 
Thank you, Pat.


ANCHOR: 
If you see something of 
True Scientific Interest in this video, 
that goes a long way 
to legitimize these Ghostbusters 
and everything they stand for.


HEISS:
A game changer, yes.


ANCHOR: 
So, tell me, Dr. Heiss, 
Is This for Real?


HEISS: 
Hell no

[laughs]


PATTY: 
So, now we're the ghost girls. 
I feel your pain, Erin.


ERIN:
No. You know what? 
Screw that. We are Scientists. 
Plus Patty.


PATTY
Thank you.


ERIN: 
Okay, We Believe in 
provable, physical results. 

[phone starts ringing] 

That's what we believe in.


ABBY:
Yes, we do!


PATTY: 
Preach.


ERIN: 
I will preach. You know what we're gonna do, ladies? 
We're gonna catch A Ghost, we're gonna bring... God. 

We're gonna catch A Ghost, 
bring it back to The Lab...


ERIN: 
Kevin?


KEVIN: 
Yes, boss?


ERIN: 
Can you answer the phone that's ringing, please?


ABBY: 
Buddy. 

EVIN: 
Yes, I can, boss. 
Uh, Ghostbusters.


ERIN: 
"Conductors of the Metaphysical..."


KEVIN: 
Okay. Cool. See ya. 

Hey, guys, which one of these makes me look more like A Doctor

Me playing saxophone 
or me listening to saxophone?


ABBY AND ERIN: 
Who was on the phone?


KEVIN: 
Uh, the Stonebrook Theatre? Apparently, 
There's A Goat on the loose.


HOLTZMANN: 
-- I'm gonna load up the car.




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