The Champion

The Champion 

In every girl there is a Champion who wants to get out. —Joanna, 17 

In the last edition, I called these people the “Floaters” but I don’t think that was a clear enough definition — and way too many people insisted to me that their daughter was one. 

So now, I’m calling this person The “Champion.” 

The main goal of this book is to help your daughter have more Champion moments at every age. 

These moments are so important in shaping a girl’s character, and if encouraged by parents and other adults, these Champion moments will profoundly change not only her life but also the lives of those around her. 

The Champion is not confined or controlled by the Act Like a Woman box. 

She can take criticism, doesn’t make people choose friends, and doesn’t blow off someone for a better offer. 

She has friends in different groups and doesn’t treat people differently when groups are together. 

She can and will stand up to the Queen Bee in a way that treats them both with dignity. 

You can usually spot this girl because she doesn’t associate with only one clique. 

She has friends in different groups but can move freely among them (but remember so did the Banker who wrote to me in the beginning of the chapter). 

She’s more likely to have higher self-esteem because she doesn’t base her self-worth on how well she’s accepted by one group. 

Your Daughter Is a Champion If … 

• She doesn’t want to exclude people; you aren’t always having fights with her about spending time with people she considers “losers.” 

• Her friends are comfortable around her and don’t seem intimidated; she’s not “winning” all the conversations. 

• She’s not exclusively tied to one group of friends. 

• She can and is willing to bring another person into a group of friends. 

What Does She Gain by Being a Champion? 

Her peers like her for who she is as a person. She’ll be less likely to sacrifice herself to gain and keep social status. 

What Does She Lose by Being a Champion? 

The only thing bad about being a Champion is when she stands up for someone and, in response, people turn on her. I’ll talk about this later in Chapter 7, but suffice it to say, it can be lonely and scary to do the right thing. . . . 

Now, if you just read all those roles and have come to the conclusion that your daughter is the Champion, just take a moment. 

It isn’t that I don’t believe you, but I have a lot of experience with parents believing their children are something they’re not. 

We all want to believe the best about the people we love, but sometimes our love blinds us to reality. 

It should go without saying that just because your daughter isn’t a Champion doesn’t mean she won’t become an amazing young woman or that you haven’t done a good job raising her. 

But, if you insist on seeing her in a way that she isn’t, you won’t be able to be as good a parent as she needs you to be. 

Most important to remember is, who among us can be a Champion all the time? 

Our goal is to have more Champion moments — in all of our lives, not just those of our daughters.