Tuesday, 13 January 2026

Now You’re Being Rude, and I HATE Rude People.






Clarice :

Down on your stomach!


Lecter :

Good Evening, Clarice. 

Just like old times.


Clarice :

Shut up.

Can you walk?


Lecter :

I can try.


[ALL GRUNTING]


Lecter :

You look well.


Clarice :

I'm gonna cut you loose.

If you touch me, 

I will shoot you.


Lecter :

Understood.


Clarice :

Do right, and you'll 

Live through this.


Lecter :

Spoken like a True Protestant.

Better hurry.


This might go faster

if you hand me the knife.


There was a third in the loft.

No, Clarice. Behind me.


[GRUNTING]


[MAN SCREAMING]


Cordell, shoot him!

Get the gun and 

shoot him!


Go into the pen?



Yes.


No. I'm staying out of this.


Mason Verger :

You're involved

is what you are, 

in all of it!


Now do it!



No.


Yes!


Lecter :

Hey, Cordell! Why don't 

you push him in?

You can always say it was me.


[BEEPING]


Cordell!


[ELECTRONIC WARBLING]


Cordell?


Cordell!


[BOARS ROARING]


[GASPING]


[SNIFFING]


[VERGER SCREAMING]


Paul : 

Yeah, Mary, it's me.

I decided to take off early.


I'll be at my lake house all weekend.


I don't want any calls

forwarded either, you understand?


Whoever it is, they can all wait, okay?


Mary, listen, it's Fourth of July,

for Christ sakes. Thank you.


What The fuck?


[CHUCKLES IN SURPRISE]


Good. You brought the wine.


Oh, God!


[GRUNTING]


[GASPS]


[LECTER LAUGHING]


[LECTER CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]


Lecter : 

This won't hurt a bit.


[WHIRRING]


[LECTER LAUGHING]


[WHIRRING CONTINUES]


[GRUNTS]


[PHONE DINGS]


MAN ON PHONE: 

We've traced your call, 

and units will be there 

in about 10 minutes.


If you can do it safely,

just get out of the house.


Otherwise, stay on 

the phone with me.


Ma'am? Are you there? Ma'am?


Lecter :

We need to make sure

they feel welcome.


Paul : 

Are those shallots?


Lecter : 

Mmm-hmm. And caper berries.


That butter smells wonderful.


Lecter :

You feeling hungry, Paul?



[SCOFFING] 

Very.

What's the main course?


Lecter :

Ah! You should never ask,

it spoils the surprise.


Clarice, what are you doing up?

You should be resting. Get back to bed.


I'm hungry.


Lecter :

Hello, Paul.

Paul, don't be rude.

Say, "Hello, Agent Starling."



Hello, Agent Starling.


I always wanted to watch you eat.


Lecter :

What have you got in your hand, Clarice?

Something to bash me over the head with?


Put it on the table.


Good girl.



Hey, that's mine.


Lecter :

Now, sit down.

Clarice, love the dress. 

It's beautiful.


- What do you think, Paul?


Lecter :

Nice.


- Nice.

- Yeah.


Lecter :

Why Don't You 

Say Grace, Paul?


- Me?


Lecter :

Yeah.


Grace? 


Lecter :

Sure.


Okay.


[WHISPERING] 

Bow your head.


Father, We Thank thee 

for thy blessings, and dedicate 

them to thy mercy,

we are about to receive.


Forgive us all, even white trash 

like Starling here, and bring her 

into my service. Amen.


Lecter :

You know, I have 

to tell you, Paul,

even The Apostle Paul

couldn't have done better.

He hated women, too.



May I have some wine, please?


Lecter :

I don't think that's a good idea, Clarice, 

not with the morphine.


I think you should eat 

some broth. Okay?


[WHISPERING] 

By the way, Starling,

that was a job offering

I worked into The Blessing.

I'm going to Congress, you know.


Are you?


Come around campaign headquarters.

You could be a office girl!

Can you type and file?

Can you take dictation? 

Take this down.

“Washington is full of corn-pone 

country pussy.”


[LAUGHING MOCKINGLY]


CLARICE: 

I took it down.

You said it already.



Lecter :

Paul, now you're being rude,

and I hate rude people.

Drink your broth like a good boy.

Come on. Sip.


Good.


[SLURPING]


Well, that's not very good, buddy.


Lecter :

[CHUCKLES]

I admit I added something 

to yours, perhaps 

it's clashing with the cumin.


But I assure you,

the next course is to die for.


Ah, ah, ah.


Come on, Clarice. No. 

That's a good girl.


Good.


[GASPING WEAKLY]


[MOANING]


Dr Lecter.


Lecter :

You see, The brain itself 

feels no pain, Clarice, 

if that concerns you.


For example, Paul won't miss

this little piece here,

which is the part of the prefrontal lobe

which they say is the seat of good manners.




Your profile at the border stations

has five features.


I'll trade you.


Lecter :

"Trade"?


Stop now, and I'll tell you what they are.


Lecter :

How does that word taste to you,

Clarice? Mmm?


Cheap and metallic,

like sucking on a greasy coin?


Who's Clarice?


Lecter :

Agent Starling, Paul.

If you can't keep up with the conversation,

better not try to join in at all.


Me, Paul. I'm Starling.


Lecter :

See. Here...

Right here is the sac

that contains the brain.


[SHUDDERING]


[GASPING] 

I would really like some wine!


That smells great.


Lecter :

Here. Like to try a little piece?


CLARICE: 

I would really like some wine.


[RETCHING]


It is good.


Lecter :

All right. Just a little.


[POURING]


Okay.


No?


Lecter :

[SIGHS]

Given the chance,

you would deny me my life, 

wouldn't you?


Not your life.


Lecter :

My freedom. Just that.

You'd take that from me.


And if you did, would they have you back,

do you think? The FBI?


Those people you despise

almost as much as they despise you?


Would they give you a medal, 

Clarice, do you think?


Would you have it professionally framed,

and hang it on your wall to look at,

and remind you of your courage

and incorruptibility?


All you would need for that, Clarice,

is a mirror.


Paul : 

[SLURRING]

I had plans for that smart mouth,

but I'm never gonna hire her... You now.


Lecter :

Paul?


- Huh?


Lecter :

Remember what I said?

If you can't be polite to our guests,

you have to sit at the kiddies' table.

Don't get up, Clarice. Paul will

help me clear and make the coffee.


Just think about what I said, Clarice.


Coffee.


[CUTLERY CLATTERING]


[KRENDLER MUTTERING]


[GRUNTING]


Lecter :

I came halfway around the world

to watch you run, Clarice.


Let me run, huh?


[GLASS SHATTERING]


Tell me, Clarice,

would you ever say to me,

"Stop. If you loved me, you'd stop"?


Not in a thousand years.


Lecter :

"Not in a thousand years."

That's my girl.


[HANDCUFFS CLICK]


[HELICOPTER APPROACHING]


Lecter :

Now, that's really interesting, Clarice.

I'm really pressed for time,

so where's the key?


Where's the key?


Okay.


[SCOFFS]


Above or below the wrist, Clarice?

This is really gonna hurt.


[INAUDIBLE]


[SIRENS WAILING]


Show me your hands!

Identify yourself!


I'm Clarice Starling!


FBI!


- Hi.


Lecter :

Hi. 


What's that?


That's caviar.


What are those?


These are figs.


And that?


And this?


That I don't think you would like.


It looks good.


- Oh, it is good.

- Can I have some?


You're a very unusual boy, aren't you?


- I couldn't eat what they gave me.

- Nor should you.


It isn't even food,

as I understand the definition.


Which is why I always bring my own.


- Hmm.

- Hmm!


So, which would you like to try?


Aha!


Well, I suppose it's all right.


After all, as your mother tells you,

and my mother certainly told me,

"It is important," she always used to say,

"always to try new things."


Open up.


LECTER: 

Ta-ta. H.


Friday, 9 January 2026

The Colonel







Well, now, it 
wouldn’t be True 
if he’s not Dead, 
now, would it?



FACE DOWN!

(“Dead”, like Elvis —)

I am The Lord High-Executioner




Lord High-Executioner (CIA)
Ah. Welcome, Doctor.

Tom
What's going on? Don't you realise how 
dangerous it is to intercept a transmat beam?

Lord High-Executioner (CIA)
Oh come, Doctor, not with our techniques. 
We Time Lords transcended such simple 
mechanical devices when The Universe 
was less than half its present size.

Tom
Look, whatever I've done 
to you in The Past, I've more 
than made up for, I will not tolerate 
this continual interference in my life!

Lord High-Executioner (CIA)
Continual? We pride ourselves 
we seldom interfere in 
The Affairs of others.

Tom
Except mine!

Lord High-Executioner (CIA)
You, Doctor, are a special case. 
You enjoy The Freedom We allow you. 
In return, occasionally
not continually, We ask You 
to Do Something for Us.


Tom
I won't Do it. 
Whatever it is
I refuse.

Lord High-Executioner (CIA)
DALEKS --

Tom
Daleks? Tell me more….

Lord High-Executioner (CIA)
We foresee A Time, when They will 
have destroyed all other lifeforms 
and become The Dominant 
Creature in The Universe.



Tom
That's possible. Tell on --

Lord High-Executioner (CIA) :
 We'd like you  - to return to Skaro 
at A Point in Time before 
The Daleks evolved.

Tom
Do you mean avert 
Their Creation?

Lord High-Executioner (CIA) :
 Or affect their genetic development 
so that They evolve into 
less aggressive creatures.

Tom :
 Hmm. That's feasible.

Lord High-Executioner (CIA)
Alternatively, if you learn enough 
about their very beginnings, 
you might discover some 
inherent weakness.

Tom
Alright — just one more time.

Lord High-Executioner (CIA)
You'll Do it?

Tom : 
Yes. If you'll let me have 
the space time coordinates, 
I'll set The TARDIS for Skaro.

Lord High-Executioner (CIA)
There's no need for that, Doctor.

Tom
Huh?

Lord High-Executioner (CIA)
You're here. This is Skaro.

Tom
What?

Lord High-Executioner (CIA)
We thought it would save time if 
We assumed your agreement.



(The Time Lord holds up a gold bangle 
with a three-ended swirl on it.)

Tom
What's this?

Lord High-Executioner (CIA)
A Time Ring. It will return you 
to The TARDIS when 
you've finished here. 
There's just one thing.

Tom
What's that?

Lord High-Executioner (CIA)
Be careful not to lose it. 
That Time Ring 
is your lifeline. 
Good Luck, Doctor.

Tom
Just a moment —

(But he has already vanished.)

Tom
Don't just disappear
What about Sarah and Harry?