It's better.

INT. SPIKE'S BASEMENT APARTMENT - DAY 

Wesley is grinding something into a paste in a mortar and pestle, mumbling to himself while doing so. Illyria is sitting behind him on the edge of the bed. 

ILLYRIA 

I don't understand. 

WESLEY 

It'll help you heal faster. 

(shakes the paste off the pestle, sets it aside) 

If you really plan to join us in this fight— 

(grabs a strip of muslin and dredges it in the paste) 

ILLYRIA 

I will FIGHT. I've been broken and humiliated. I will return in kind every blow, every sting. I will shred my adversaries. Pull their eyes out just enough to turn them towards their mewing, mutilated faces. 

WESLEY 

(pulls the strip out of the paste and walks with it toward Illyria) 

You're a very inspirational person. Have I mentioned that? 

(brushes her hair away from her neck) 

ILLYRIA 

-- You are what I don't understand. 

WESLEY 

And that would be different because? 

(presses the strip to Illyria's skin) 

ILLYRIA 

Angel told you to do whatever you wanted. 

Today... tonight, you may all be dead. 

WESLEY 

Yes. Good point. 

ILLYIRA 

I am not what you want. 

WESLEY 

(stands back, turns away, walks to his preparation area) 

(his voice nearly cracking -- he swallows The Pain) 

-- No. 

ILLYIRA 

(touches her bandage) 

Then why — 

WESLEY 

(prepares another bandage) 

Don't I go off and have one last perfect day? 

Smell the flowers, or sky-dive, or
have a go with Mistress Spanks-A-Lot...
or whatever the hell one is supposed to do in this situation. 

(places another bandage on Illyria's neck) 

ILLYRIA 

Mistress who? 

WESLEY 

There is no perfect day for me, Illyria. 

There is no sunset or painting or
finely-aged scotch that's going
to sum up my life and make tonight any...

There is nothing that I want. 

ILLYRIA 

-- You want to be with Fred. 

WESLEY 

(finishes bandaging Illyria, wipes his hands on a hand towel) 

-- Yes. Yes, that's where I'd be if I could. 

ILLYRIA 

I could assume her shape, make her come alive again this once for you. 

(looks down) 

But you would never ask me to. 

WESLEY 

The first lesson a watcher learns is to separate truth from illusion. Because in the world of magics, it's the hardest thing to do. The truth is that Fred is gone. To pretend anything else would be a lie. And since I don't actually intend to die tonight, I won't accept a lie. Is it better? 

ILLYRIA 

(touches her neck) 

It's better.