Tuesday, 25 May 2021

I Can Not Abide Useless People.







GRAND BALLROOM - PROBABLY NIGHT


KAYLEE 

(watching the dancing, to a young gentleman

standing on the edge of the dance floor)

Aren't they something. They're like butterflies,

or little pieces of wrapping paper blowing around.

The young gentleman bows and walks off, leaving Kaylee. She looks a little sad, bur rallies and walks over to a group of women.


KAYLEE

Hello.

BANNING

I don't.. um... have we been introduced?

KAYLEE 

(shaking hands with first woman)

Oh, I'm Kaylee.

BANNING

Banning. And this is Destra, Cabott and Zelle.

KAYLEE

(gushing)

Don't you just love this party? Everything's so

fancy, and there's some kind of hot cheese over there.

CABOTT

It's not as good as last year.

KAYLEE

Oh really? What'd they have last year?

CABOTT

Standards.

Kaylee looks crestfallen.


BANNING

Who made your dress, Kaylee?

KAYLEE

Oh, do you like it? When I saw the ruffles, 

I just couldn't resist.

BANNING

You ought to see to your girl.

KAYLEE

[Shah muh? - "What?"]

BANNING

Your girl. She's not very good. She made you a

dress that looks like you bought it in a store.

KAYLEE

Oh, I didn't know.

An older gentleman has obviously overheard this exchange, and walks to Kaylee's side.


MURPHY

Why Banning Miller. What a vision you are in your

fine dress. It must have taken a dozen slaves a 

dozen days to get you into that getup.

(Banning preens)

'Course your daddy tells me it takes the space of

a schoolboy's wink to get you out of it again.

Banning gets huffy and stalks off, followed by the other women. Kaylee looks surprised and delighted.


MURPHY

Forgive my rudeness. I cannot abide useless people.







Mal and Inara dancing, while Atherton looks on with a glare. Mal missteps the dance, and Inara and Mal both chuckle.


MAL

It's possible you were right, and this ain't my

kind of party.

They are comfortable with each other, laughing and smiling. Atherton barges in and roughly grabs Inara's arm and pulls her away from the dance floor.


MAL

Whoa now. Watch yourself. Ain't no need for hands on.

ATHERTON

Excuse me, she's not here with you, Captain. She's mine.

MAL

Yours? She don't belong to nobody.

ATHERTON

Money changed hands, which makes her mine tonight.

And no matter how you dress her up she's still...

Mal hauls off and slugs him before he can get the rest of the sentence out.


MAL 

(to Inara)

Turns out this is my kind of party.

INARA

Oh, Mal.

MAL

What? Man was out of line.

ATHERTON

(recovering, angry)

I accept.

MAL

That's great. What?

GENTLEMAN

There has been a challenge.

ATHERTON

I hope you're prepared, Captain.

MAL

What? You all talking about a fight? That's fine.

(taking off his jacket)

Let's get out of here.

INARA

It's not a fist fight, Mal.

GENTLEMAN

The duel will be met tomorrow morning at Cadrie Pond.

MAL

Well, why wait? Where's that guard? He collected

a whole mess of pistols.

GENTLEMAN

If you require it, any gentleman here can give you

use of a sword.

MAL

Use of a swo... what?


END OF ACT TWO




ACT THREE

INT. GRAND BALLROOM - NIGHT

Back where we left off, Mal in hot water:


KAYLEE

What's going on?

MAL

I'm not rightly sure. What's going on?

HARROW

First off, you'll be put up in lodgings for the night,

so you don't disappear. I wouldn't blame you,

incidentally. Wing may be a spoiled dandy, but he's

an expert swordsman. He's killed a dozen men with a

longblade. You're the only one gave him a reason.

MAL

(exasperated)

Oh this is a joke.

INARA

He'll need a second.

MAL

What's that?

HARROW

I'll take on the job.

INARA

He fights if you refuse.

ATHERTON

(moving towards the entranceway)

Inara, come with me, please.

MAL 

(to Harrow)

You taking on this job... being my second...

does this mean we're in business?

HARROW

It means you're in mortal danger. But you mussed

up Atherton's face, and that has endeared you to me

somewhat. You might even give him a fight, before

he guts you.

ATHERTON 

(sharply)

Inara! 

(holds out his arm to Inara)

KAYLEE

Up until the punching, it was a real nice party.

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