You Learn a Lot from Talking to a Dog

[TARDIS console room]

Tom: What do you think? 

The Dog : Too many variables 

for •accurate• forecast, Master. 

Tom : Really? What variables? 

K9: Humanoid illogical 

procedure, Master. 

Tom : Like Me? 

The Dog : Affirmative. 

(K9 puts his little red 

sucker probe against 

The Doctor's skull.) 

Tom : 

How am I? 

The Dog : 

Cerebral circuits in order. 

Physiognomy dubious. 

Tom : Oh, I see. 

The Dog : 

The RISK You took 

would appear to have 

been •justified•. 

Tom : Good. 

Can We proceed then? 

The Dog : Actions so far 

indicate a Success probability 

along •this• path analysis, 

39.76%.

Tom : That bad, is it? 

The Dog : Affirmative. 

Tom : Listen, 

I've discovered the location 

of The Security Control Room. 

It's directly beneath 

The Panopticon area, 

Level 3-0.

The Dog: 

Then Success probability 

increases to 48.35%

Tom : Well, that's not bad. 

The Dog: Advise against 

any plan incorporating 

Success factor below 6-5. 

Tom : Suppose I 

throw a mirror cast? 

The Dog : Master? 

Tom : Shadow shift. 

Create a false image 

to Space Traffic Control. 

The Dog : Suggest You 

reflect The Transmission —

Tom : Shush. Suppose 

I reflect A Transmission-beam 

off The Security Shield, 

feed it back through 

a link crystal bank and 

boost it through The Transducer? 

The Dog : Couldn't have 

put it better myself, Master. 

Tom : I don't think 

You could. Ha! 

The Dog : Agree. 

Possibility of your explanation 

being better than mine, 

less than 1% 

Tom : What? You are 

the most insufferably arrogant, 

overbearing, patronising…..

[ Think of something Cruel 

and Hurtful to Say —]

bean-tin — 

[•instantly• regrets it]

The Dog : Master? 

Tom : Oh, Nothing —

Someone once said 

that to Me, once —

The Dog : 

•Correction•, Master,

Several people have 

said that about You —

Tom : Thank You. 

Thank you very much. 

The Dog: Thanks 

are not necessary. 

Tom : Well, 

at least no one's 

ever called Me smug! 

The Dog : 

•Correction• — 

Tom : Listen —

If You destroy The Control Centre 

after I feed in The Doppler effect 

and eliminate The Red Shift, 

The Invasion must succeed, hmm? 

The Dog: 

Probability of Success 

would rise to 98.2%

Tom : Well, what's 

a couple of points 

between Friends? 

Break The Transduction-field.