Superman's Guards

Superman | Sneak Peek

"So I go back into it, and I read it, 

and when I'm all done he's like, 

'Alight I think we got a movie here -- 

He's going, 'The problem though, 

you're missing some beats, 

some action beats -- you need 

an action beat every 10 pages, 

something big has to happen --"

I said 'What are you thinking about..?' 

He's like 'Well, it's just an example, 

like when you go you have 

a scene where Brainiac goes 

to The Fortress of Solitude 

looking for Superman -- '

Superman's dead at this point -- 

(hope I didn't spoil the movie for anybody...) 

"-- so Brainiac's looking for The Fortress of Solitude and something should happen there there should be a big [ __ ] fight 

I'm like, '-- but Superman's Dead 

at this point he's like, "I know, I know 

but can't Brainiac fights something else up there?"

and I was like "Well, like what...?

He's like what about, like, 

Superman's Guards, or Soldiers 

And I'm like "....why -- 

Why would Superman need guards...? 

You know he's --

He's Superman he's and -- 

plus, it's called "The Fortress 

of Solitude" -- nobody's up there..." 

And he said, "Well, Jesus Christ --

he's going how about -- what about, 

where is it is, in The Antarctic?" 

I said yeah 

he's like, "What about polar bears? 

and I was like polar bears....?

he said "Yeah, have 'em.... 

have 'em fight some polar bears -- 

Brainiac shows up, he's trying 

to get in the Fortress 

polar bears come at him and 

he just fuckin' kills one -- and 

one runs away -- 

'Cuz we don't want 

to piss off The PETA-People." 

And I said, "You want me to write a scene where Brainiac is wrastling polar bears....?" 

And he says, "Yeah, you know anything about polar bears...?" and I said, "....no I don't --" he's like "Polar bear's the fiercest killers in The Animal Kingdom --" [Applause] 

-- and at this point I'm just like "This dude has way too much access to The Discovery Channel...."