That Strange Realm ‘twixt Sleep and Wake

 

Willy Wonka :

Wait till you see how much chocolate I made last night.

We sell this, and we’re gonna be…

Oh, no.

Noodle :

What’s going on, Willy?

Willy Wonka :

Not again.

Noodle :

Where are the chocolates?

Willy Wonka :

I don’t know how to tell you this, 

Noodle, but… they’ve been stolen.

Noodle :

Stolen?

Willy Wonka :

Mmhmm.

Noodle :

Who by?

Willy Wonka :

The Little Orange Man.

Noodle :

What?

Willy Wonka :

The Little Orange Man. 

I didn’t tell you about him?

Noodle :

No, ya didn’t.

Willy Wonka :

He’s my nemesis. About yea high.

Comes in the dead of the night, 

and he steals all my chocolate.

Been happening every few weeks 

for the past three, four years now.

Noodle :

Really?

Willy Wonka :

Sometimes I spy him in that strange realm 

‘twixt sleep and wake, green hair 

glinting in the moonlight.

Noodle :

Green hair?

Willy Wonka :

One day I shall catch him, Noodle.

Noodle :

Willy.

Willy Wonka :

When I do…

Noodle :

Willy!

Willy Wonka :

Hmm?

Noodle :

You don’t seriously expect 

me to believe this, do you?

Willy Wonka :

Of course, I do. What other explanation is there?

Noodle :

I don’t know, that you go to sleep…

Willy Wonka :

Mmhmm.

Noodle :

…dream ’bout Little Green Man…

Willy Wonka :

Orange man, green hair. Yeah.

Noodle :

…and while you’re dreaming, 

stuff your face with chocolate!

Willy Wonka :

Stuff my…That makes 

a lot more sense.

Noodle :

Why’d I ever think this would work?

Willy Wonka :

I’ve been eating all my own chocolate?

Noodle :

Stupid Silver Linings.

Willy Wonka :

I don’t think I have been. Hey!

There’s nothing stupid about my chocolate.

Noodle :

[sighs] If Mrs. Scrubitt had spotted us, 

I’d be in the coop right now.

Willy Wonka :

Look, I’m sorry, okay?

But we can make more chocolate.

Only problem is I’m all out of milk.

Noodle :

Well, that’s not a problem.

[sighs] Milk.

A, That is STEALING...!

And, C -- Willy Wonka does not 

use any old cow’s milk.

For this particular creation, 

I require the milk of a giraffe.

Noodle :

Okay… fine. As a matter of fact, 

there’s one at the zoo.

Bingala!

Noodle :

But A, the zoo is not that way.

Great.

And B, they’re not gonna let you 

just walk in there and milk it.

Noodle :

Mm. That, my dear Noodle, 

is why we’re very lucky the 

Little Orange Man didn’t find this.

What is it?

Noodle :

[Noodle] From Zoo Management.

In recognition of your years of service.

But I’ve only been here a year.

Which is why there’s 

only one chocolate.

Huh. Well, thank you very much.

Noodle :

You’re welcome. Good night!

[whispers] Hey, well done, Noodle.

Noodle :

So, what is it really?

It’s called A Big Night Out.

A single chocolate that perfectly 

mimics a night on the town.

[guard] 

Mmm.

The outer layer, a 

champagne truffle.

[guard] 

That’s lovely.

[Willy] 

The next is white wine.

[guard] Mmm. [grunts]

[Willy] Followed by red.

[guard] Now we are talking!

[Willy] 

That’s when the singing 

and dancing starts.

[guard singing] 

♪ We’re gonna Have 

a party tonight! ♪

It’s when he hits the layer o’ whiskey fudge he’ll get emotional.

[guard sobbing] She was the only woman I ever loved!

He might do something reckless.

[guard] 

I’ll give her A Call — What harm 

could it do? [clears throat]

Hello, Gwennie? It’s Basil.

I just wanted to say, 

I’ve always loved you.

I love you so much. 

What? It’s Basil Bond.

We sat together in 

chemistry at school.

No, no, don’t hang up!

Finally, some old port from 

the back of the cupboard, and…

[guard groans, snores]

[Willy] 

Hmm. [smacks lips] Let’s go.

Noodle, let’s go.

[flamingo honks]

Noodle :

Why don’t they fly away?

[Willy] I don’t know. Perhaps they haven’t thought of it.

Noodle :

You’re kidding?

Wonka : 

No, I’m serious.

That’s The Thing 

about flamingos.

They need someone to 

show ’em The Way.

Noodle :

Huh.