Sunday, 19 March 2023

Quimper






‘What was that?' said Rimmer. 'In the middle of the spinning light. Those tubes.'

'The Omni-zone,' said the Toaster. 'Holly predicted we'd find that. It confirms his theory.'

'What theory?'

‘The theory that there are six other universes, and all their gateways converge at the centre of a singularity.'

'There are six other universes?' said Rimmer.

'So Holly reckoned,' said the Toaster. 'He also believed that our universe is the bad apple. It's the cock-up universe. Something went wrong with our Big Bang and made Time move in the wrong direction, that's why nothing makes sense.'

'I'll tell you something that does make sense,' The Cat staggered over to the Toaster. 'You made me eat seventy-three rounds of buttered toast. Check that: seven, three,' he slapped his rump. 'I feel like I'm carrying around a third buttock in my pants. And I just want you to know this - I want you to live with this for the rest of your life - you,' he jabbed the Toaster with his long-nailed forefinger, 'you make real lousy toast. It's cold, it's burnt, and it's soggy.'

The Toaster twirled his browning knob defiantly. 'Hey -what d'you expect for $£19.99 plus tax? Conversation, quantum theory and good toast?'

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