The Cat Bible

Genesis

Chapter 6

I This is the story of Chanski. She was the only good woman of her time and she lived in fellowship with Cloister.

2 Cloister looked at the world and he did see evil in it.

3 He spoke unto Chanski saying, "all the

world is evil. Verily I say unto you it shall be destroyed.

4 Thou shalt build a ship to travel great

distance in, and, lo, it shalt be five miles long.

5 There will be many decks and much that will be needed for a plague will seize and destroy the world."

6 Chanski did as Cloister had commanded and Cloister looked upon the ship and saw that it was good.

7 He looked at the automated Laundromat, and the quarters where there were beds for sleeping, and the numerous food dispensers and he was pleased. Chanski said unto

Cloister

8 "It is done, as thou commanded, and it shall be called the Red Dwarf" She said said this for yea, the ship was red.

9 Cloister entered the ship and took with

Him all that was good. He did take care of his servant Chanski with whom he was pleased.

10 Also he was pleased with a man named Petson, and Petson begat Chen, who begat Selby

11 and together they did protect Frankenstein who was pure.

Chapter 7

1 When Frankenstein was near her time.

Cloister called all unto him and it came to pass that he ate with them.

2 Cloister drank lager, saying unto them

"Thou wilt betray me."

3 Petson drank lager also, and he said unto Cloister the Stupid, "we will not betray thee"

4 But Cloister did continue and he did

prophesise,

5 "Before the early morning alarm call hath sounded three times ye will leave me and die."

6 And Cloister gave to Frankenstein the sacred writing saying, "Those who have wisdom will know its meaning."

7 And it was written thus: "Seven socks, one shirt, one pair boxer shorts, collect Friday."

8 Then he took Frankenstein to a far off place and she was safe.

9 All who knew Him did not understand his words and, lo, they were confused.

10 But on the third day Cloister was

imprisoned and taken to be frozen in Time.

11 Those he had eaten with died, but

Frankenstein was saved.

12 He giveth of his life that we might live

and for that he is worshipped.