Pseudocide is Painless

Through early morning fog I see

Visions of the things to be

The pains that are withheld for me

I realize and I can see

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

And I can take or leave it if I please

I try to find a way to make

All our little joys relate

Without that ever-present hate

But now I know that it's too late, and

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

And I can take or leave it if I please

The game of life is hard to play

I'm gonna lose it anyway

The losing card I'll someday lay

So this is all I have to say

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

And I can take or leave it if I please

The only way to win is cheat

And lay it down before I'm beat

And to another give my seat

For that's the only painless feat

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

And I can take or leave it if I please

The sword of time will pierce our skins

It doesn't hurt when it begins

But as it works its way on in

The pain grows stronger watch it grin, but

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

And I can take or leave it if I please

A brave man once requested me

To answer questions that are key

Is it to be or not to be

And I replied 'Oh, why ask me?'

That suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

And I can take or leave it if I please

'Cause suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

And I can take or leave it if I please

And you can do the same thing if you please.

A drunken Toby sings "suicide is painless" from M*A*S*H