I am Abraham Lincoln

“Where Men are forbidden to honour A King

they honour millionaires, athletes, or film-stars instead :

even famous prostitutes or gangsters. 

 

For Spiritual Nature, like Bodily Nature, will be served;

Deny it Food and it will Gobble Poison.”

 

— C.S. Lewis, 

Present Concerns

 

 

LINCOLN 

[on viewscreen] : 

Captain Kirk, I believe. 

A pleasure to make your acquaintance, sir. 

 

KIRK: 

Uhura 

 

LINCOLN 

[on viewscreen] : 

No need to check your voice telegraph device. 

Do I gather that you recognise me?

 

KIRK: 

I recognise what you appear to be.

 

LINCOLN 

[on viewscreen]: 

And appearances can be most deceiving, 

but not in this case, James Kirk. 

 

I am Abraham Lincoln.

 

KIRK: 

Spock.

 

SPOCK: 

Fascinating. 

 

LINCOLN

[on viewscreen]: 

I have been described in many ways, Mister Spock, 

but never with that word. 

 

KIRK: 

I was requesting your analysis, Spock. 

 

SPOCK: 

They did scan us and our vessel, Captain, 

and doubtless obtained sufficient information to present this illusion. 

 

LINCOLN

[on viewscreen]: 

Illusion? Captain, will you permit me to come aboard your vessel?

 

No doubt you have devices which can check my reality. 

 

KIRK: 

We'd be honoured to have you aboard, Mister President. 

 

LINCOLN

[on viewscreen]: 

Do you still measure time in minutes? 

 

KIRK: 

[smiling]

We can convert to it, sir. 

 

LINCOLN : 

Then you should be directly over my position in. 

There. Exactly twelve and one half minutes. 

Until then, Captain. 

 

(And the orange planet is back in view) 

 

 

KIRK: 

Security, send a detachment to the transporter room immediately,

phaser side arms, and be prepared to give

Presidential Honours. 

 

MCCOY: 

Jim, do you really believe he's Abraham Lincoln? 

 

KIRK: 

It's obvious he believes it. 

 

Doctor McCoy, Mister Spock,

Full dress uniforms.

 

[Transporter room]

 

(Scott is in kilt and plaid, the three security guards look smart)

 

SCOTT :

Full Dress? Presidential Honours? 

What is this nonsense, Mister Dickerson? 

 

DICKERSON: 

I understand President Lincoln's coming aboard, sir. 

 

SCOTT: 

Ha! You're daft, man. 

 

DICKERSON: 

All I know is what The Captain tells me, 

and he says he'll have the hide of the first man that so much as smiles. 

 

(McCoy enters) 

 

SCOTT: 

I'd have expected sanity from the ship's surgeon, at least.

 

President Lincoln, indeed.

No doubt to be followed by Louis of France and Robert the Bruce. 

 

(Kirk and Spock enter) 

 

KIRK: 

If so, we'll execute appropriate honours to each, Mister Scott. 

 

SCOTT: 

Aye, sir. 

 

KIRK: 

Gentlemen, I don't for a moment believe that President Lincoln is actually coming aboard,

but we're dealing with an unknown

and apparently highly advanced life-form. 

 

Until we know, when in Rome,

we'll do as the Romans do. 

 

CHEKOV [OC]: 

Bridge to Transporter room.

One minute to overhead position. 

 

SCOTT: 

Locked on to something. 

Does that appear human to you, Mister Spock? 

 

SPOCK: 

Fascinating. For a moment, it appeared almost mineral. 

Like living rock with heavy fore claws. 

It's settling down now to completely human readings. 

 

SCOTT: 

We can beam it aboard anytime now, sir. 

 

KIRK: 

Doctor McCoy, take tricorder readings and see if it is human. 

Appropriate ruffles and flourishes, Mister Spock. 

Security, stand ready. 

 

DICKERSON: 

Phaser team, set ready for a heavy stun. 

 

SPOCK: 

Band honours ready, Captain. 

 

KIRK: 

Energise. 

 

(A tall, lean figure in a black frock coat is beamed aboard to drum beat and a bosun's whistle) 

 

KIRK : 

The USS Enterprise is honoured to have you aboard, Mister President. 

 

LINCOLN: 

Strange.

Where are the musicians? 

 

KIRK: 

That's taped music, sir. 

A Starship on active duty never carries an honour detachment.

 

LINCOLN: 

Taped music, you say. 

Well, perhaps Mister Spock will be good enough to explain that to me later. 

 

A most interesting way to come aboard, Captain. 

What was the device used? 

 

KIRK: 

An energy-matter scrambler, sir. 

The molecules in your body are converted into energy,

then beamed into this chamber and reconverted back into their original pattern. 

 

LINCOLN: 

Well, since I'm obviously here, and quite whole,

whatever you mean apparently works very well indeed. 

Gentlemen, if those are weapons, please lower them. 

At my age, I'm afraid I'm not very dangerous. 

 

MCCOY: 

Human, Jim. 

 

LINCOLN: 

All too human, Doctor McCoy. 

Happy to make your acquaintance. 

 

KIRK: 

Mister President, may I present my officers. 

 

Commander Spock, second in command 

Engineering Officer Scott

and

Security Officer Dickerson. 

 

LINCOLN: 

Mister Spock, Mister Scott, Mister Dickerson. 

 

Gentlemen,

I hope to talk to each of you. 

 

But meanwhile, your captain is consumed with questions

and I shall do my utmost to answer them. 

And I trust your duties will permit time to answer some of mine.

 

At your service, Captain. 

 

KIRK: 

Lieutenant Dickerson,

you and your men may return to quarters.

Mister President. 

 

LINCOLN: 

A most interesting vessel. 

 

(Kirk, Lincoln, Spock and security leave)

 

MCCOY:

Just what was it you locked onto before you beamed him aboard? 


 

SCOTT:

You heard Mister Spock yourself.

Mineral he called it, like living rock. 


 

MCCOY:

And that became Lincoln? 


 

SCOTT:

I couldn't tell.

It may have been another figure down there standing by.

What do you make of it? 

 

MCCOY: 

I'm not quite sure.

 

Captain's log, stardate 5906.4. 

 

Who or what has been beamed aboard our vessel? 

 

An alien who has changed himself into this form? 

An illusion? 

 

I cannot conceive it possible that Abraham Lincoln could have actually been reincarnated. 

And yet his kindness, his gentle wisdom, his humour, everything about him is so right.

 

 

[Bridge]

 

KIRK: 

Yes, if I recall, your Union Army observation balloons were tendered six hundred or so feet high. 

We're six hundred and forty three miles above the surface of this planet. 

 

LINCOLN: 

You can measure great distances that closely? 

 

SPOCK: 

We do, sir. 

Six hundred forty three miles,

two thousand twenty one feet, two point zero four inches

at this moment, using your old-style measurements. 

 

LINCOLN:

Bless me. 

 

UHURA: 

Excuse me, Captain Kirk. 

 

KIRK: 

Yes, Lieutenant. 

 

UHURA: 

Mister Scott 

 

LINCOLN: 

What a charming negress. 

Oh, forgive me, my dear. 

I know in my time some used that term as a description of property.

 

UHURA: 

But why should I object to that term, sir? 

You see, in our century we've learned not to fear words. 

 

KIRK: 

May I present our communications officer, 

Lieutenant Uhura. 

 

LINCOLN: 

The Foolishness of My Century had me apologising 

where no offence was given. 

 

KIRK: 

We've each learned to be delighted with what we are. 

The Vulcans learned that centuries before we did. 

 

SPOCK: 

It is basic to the Vulcan philosophy, sir.

 

The combination of a number of things

to make existence worthwhile. 

 

LINCOLN: 

Yes. Philosophy of Nome,

meaning all. 

 

...How did I know that?

 

Just as I seem to know that on the planet surface

you will meet one of the greatest living Vulcans

in all the long history of your planet. 

 

My mind cannot recall his name, 

but I know he will be there. 

 

What is it that powers your vessel, Captain? 

May I see your engine room? 

 

 

KIRK: 

Certainly.

Our engineering officer  --

 

UHURA: 

Has been waiting in the briefing room for you, sir, for over two hours. 

 

KIRK: 

Oh, dear. If you'll forgive me, our communications officer 

 

LINCOLN: 

I would be delighted to have her as guide. 


 

KIRK:

Forgive me again.

We'll rejoin you shortly.

 

[Briefing room]

 

MCCOY:

Where the devil are they? 


 

SCOTT:

Why, they're probably looking up a plate of haggis in the galley.

They've been everywhere else. 


 

(Kirk and Spock enter)




KIRK:

Sorry to have been delayed, gentlemen. 


 

MCCOY:

Jim, I would be the last to advise you on your command image. 


 

KIRK:

I doubt that, Bones, but continue. 


 

MCCOY:

Do I have to lay it out for you?

Practically the entire crew has seen you treat this impostor like The Real Thing

when he can't possibly be the real article. 


 

SCOTT:

Lincoln died three centuries ago on a planet hundreds of light years away.

 

[ pointing ]


 

SPOCK:

More that direction, Engineer. 


 

MCCOY:

You're The Science Officer.

Why aren't you, well,

doing whatever a Science Officer does at a time like this? 


 

SPOCK:

I am, Doctor.

I am observing The Alien. 


 

MCCOY:

At last! At least somebody agrees with us he's an alien. 


 

KIRK:

Yes, of course he's an alien. 


 

MCCOY :

And he's potentially dangerous. 


 

SCOTT:

Mad. Loony as an Arcturian dogbird. 


 

KIRK:

Gentlemen, as you know, Mister Spock and I

have been invited to beam down to the planet surface with him.

 

Any comments on that? 


 

MCCOY:

Yes, a big one. Suddenly, miraculously, we see a small spot of Earth-type environment down there.

Now is it really there, or do we just think we see it down there? 


 

SCOTT:

You might beam down into a sea of molten lava. 


 

KIRK:

But why would he want to kill only two of us? 


 

SPOCK:

It would be illogical.

With such abilities, they could as easily trick us into destroying the entire vessel. 


 

MCCOY:

Are you implying, Mister Spock, that it's probably safe to beam down there? 


 

SPOCK:

No, I'm not, Doctor.

There's no doubt they want us down there for some hidden purpose.

Otherwise, they would have revealed some logical reason for all of this. 


 

KIRK:

Why Lincoln, Spock?

Any speculation on that? 


 

SPOCK:

Speculation is unnecessary, Captain. The Answer is clear.

President Lincoln has always been a very personal hero to you. What better way to titillate your curiosity than to make him come alive for you. 
K

 

KIRK:

But not only to me, Spock. 


 

SPOCK:

Agreed. I, too, experienced his charm.

It is a magnificent work of duplication. 


 

MCCOY:

But he holds a special involvement to you, Jim.

I think it's interesting, in as much as you're the one

who's going to make the decision

whether to beam down or not.

 




SCOTT:

Don't do it, Captain. 


 

KIRK:

The very reason for the existence of our starships is contact with other life.

Although the method is beyond our comprehension, we have been offered contact.

 

Therefore, I shall beam down.

 

Mister Spock, as for you 


 

SPOCK:

Captain, since I was included in the invitation to make contact,

I must beam down with you. 


 

MCCOY:

You're both out of your heads! 


 

SCOTT:

Aye, sir. 

 

KIRK:

And you're on the edge of insubordination. 

 

MCCOY:

Would I be on the edge of insubordination to remind The Captain

that this smells of something happening to him that I might not be able to patch together again? 


 

SCOTT:

Aye! 


 

KIRK:

Gentlemen, your concern is noted and appreciated.

Mister Spock, standard dress, tricorders and phasers.

 

We will guide President Lincoln to the transporter room.

 

We'll beam down immediately.

 

 

[Transporter room]

KIRK: Standing by, Mister Scott. 


 

SCOTT:

Transporter room to bridge. Standing by. 


 

CHEKOV [OC]:

We are now locked in synchronous orbit, Mister Scott.

Sensors continue to show the area as completely Earth-like in all respects. 


 

MCCOY:

If they're wrong and they do beam into a pool of lava 
--

 

SCOTT:

Then they're dead men.

I couldna pull them back in time. 


 

KIRK:

All right, Mister Scott, energise. 


 

(Lincoln, Kirk and Spock are beamed away, but - ) 


 

MCCOY:

Scotty.

 

[Planet surface]

(Sandy ground, big rocks, orange sky) 


 

SPOCK:

Captain. Our phasers and tricorders did not beam down with us. 


 

KIRK:

Kirk to Enterprise. Enterprise?

Enterprise, come in. Kirk to Enterprise.

Enterprise, come in. 


SPOCK: Undamaged, yet something is preventing them from functioning.

 

 

[Transporter room]

 

SCOTT:

Come in, landing party. Report.

Enterprise to Captain Kirk.

Can you read us? 


 

MCCOY:

If they're all right, they should've reported in.

 

 

[Planet surface]

 

KIRK:

Your explanation, sir? 


 

LINCOLN:

Well, I have none.

To me, this seems quite as it should be. 


 

KIRK:

Why were our weapons taken?

Why can't we communicate with our ship? 


 

LINCOLN:

Please, believe me.

I know nothing other than what I have already told you. 


 

KIRK:

The Game is over.

We've treated you with courtesy.

We've gone along with what and who you think you are. 


 

LINCOLN:

Despite the seeming contradictions, all is as it appears to be.

I am Abraham Lincoln. 


 

SURAK:

Just as I am whom I appear to be. 


 

SPOCK:

Surak…. 


 

KIRK:

Who? 


 

SPOCK:

The Greatest of all who ever lived on our planet, Captain.

The Father of All We Became.

 

 

[Bridge]

 

SULU:

(in the captain's chair)

All ship's systems going dead.

Switch to reserve power. All decks report status. 


 

 

UHURA:

All decks report status.

All decks report status. 


 

SULU:

Bridge to Engineering. Come in.

What's happening to our power?

Bridge to Engineering, report. 


 

ENGINEER :

Everything's out.

We've switched to reserve power.

Lost all power in the warp engines. 


 

(Scott and McCoy enter) 


 

SCOTT:

How is it, Mister Sulu?

 


SULU:

No answer yet on what caused it.

They're standing by. 


 

SCOTT:

Shut down all but the most necessary systems. 


 

 

UHURA:

No damage report, Mister Scott. 


 

 

ENGINEER :

No indication of engine damage, sir. 


 

SCOTT:

Engage restart cycle. 


 

ENGINEER [OC]:

I can't. I don't understand it. 


 

SCOTT:

Start emergency procedures. 


 

ENGINEER :

Aye, aye, sir.

 

[Planet surface]

 

SURAK:

Live long and prosper, Spock.

 

May you also, Captain Kirk. 


 

SPOCK:

It is Not Logical that you are Surak.

There is no Fact, Extrapolation of Fact or Theory,

which would make possible. 


 

SURAK:

Whatever I am,

Would it harm you to give response? 


 

SPOCK:

Live Long and Prosper, Image of Surak,

Father of All We Now Hold True. 


 

SURAK:

The Image of Surak read in Your Face

What is in Your Mind, Spock. 


 

SPOCK:

As I turned and my eyes beheld you, I displayed emotion.

I beg forgiveness. 


 

 

SURAK:

The cause was more than sufficient.

Let us speak no further of it.

 

In my time, we knew not of Earth men.

 

I am pleased to see that we have differences.

May we together become greater than the sum of both of us. 


 

KIRK :

Spock, we'll not go along with these charades any longer. 


 

(A rock changes into a creature with heavy fore-claws) 


 

ROCK:

You'll have an answer soon, Captain.

 

Our World is called Excalbia.

Countless who live on that planet are watching.

 

Before this drama unfolds,

we give welcome to the ones named Kirk and Spock. 


 

KIRK:

We know nothing of Your World or Your Customs.

 

What do you mean,

Drama about to unfold? 


 

ROCK:

You're intelligent life form,

but I'm surprised you do not perceive the honour we do you.

Have we not created in this place on our planet a stage identical to your own world? 


 

KIRK:

We perceive we were invited to come here, and we came in friendship.

 

And you have deprived us of our instruments to examine Your World,

to defend ourselves, to communicate with our vessel. 


 

ROCK:

Your objection is well taken.

 

We shall communicate with your vessel

so your fellow life forms may also enjoy and profit from the play.

 

Behold. 


(More people arrive. A human, a Mongol, an alien woman and a Klingon) 


 

ROCK:

Captain, Mister Spock, some of these you may know through history.

 

Genghis Khan, for one.

 

And 

Colonel Green 

Who led a genocidal war early in the 21st century on Earth. 

 

Zora

Who experimented with the body chemistry of subject tribes on Tiburon. 

 

Kahless, The Unforgettable

The Klingon who set the pattern for his planet's tyrannies. 

 

We Welcome The Vessel Enterprise

 

 

To our solar system and to our spectacle.

 

MCCOY: 

At least The Captain and Spock are safe. 

 

SCOTT: 

It's a confrontation of some sort. 

Those are all figures out of history. 

Notoriously Evil. 

 

ROCK : 

We ask you to observe with us

 

 

The confrontation of the two opposing philosophies you term 

Good and Evil. 

 

Since this is our first experiment with Earthlings, 

our theme is a simple one. 

 

Survival, 

Life and Death.

 

Your philosophies are alien to us,

and we wish to understand them

and discover which is the stronger. 

 

We learn by observing such spectacles. 

 

KIRK: 

What do you mean,

"Survival"? 

 

ROCK: 

The Word is Explicit.

 

If you and Spock survive, you return to your vessel.

 

If you do not, your existence is ended.