The Existential Pain of Living with The Consciousness of Death

Dr. AGNES JURATI :

Hi.

Oh.

You're reading.

I won't, uh -

Capt. RIOS :

Be my guest.

Dr. AGNES JURATI :

So, space turns out to be super boring.

Go figure.

Capt. RIOS :

What were you expecting? 

Dr. AGNES JURATI :

I don't know.

It's so empty.

I mean, of course, right? It's right there in the name.

"Space".

It's not like it's called 
"vast quantities of stuff".

Although, come to think of it, there are over three billion stars in our galaxy alone and ours is one of two trillion.

There are a septillion known planets, so maybe it should be called "vast quantities of stuff".

Like, why focus on the negative? 

I caught up on two years of back issues of the "Journal of Theoretical Cybernetics", including the Festschrift for Professor Kwok.

I watered your plants.

You're welcome.

I was gonna watch a holo, but weirdly, all you have on board is Klingon opera.

Capt. RIOS :

Long story.

Dr. AGNES JURATI :

I used to live with a guy who liked paper books.

I bothered him, too.

Capt. RIOS :

(resigned, closing his book)

What did he used to do about it? 

Dr. AGNES JURATI :

He was My Dad — He had to put up with it.

What's your book about? 

Capt. RIOS :

The existential pain of living with the consciousness of death, and how it defines us as human beings.

Dr. AGNES JURATI :

.....

...Well, •that's•. not a conversation killer at all.

I •totally• want to talk about the existential pain of living with the consciousness of death.

Auntie RAPHIE :

Rios! 

Capt. RIOS :

Oh, Thank God.

Are you having a good laugh now, Q? 

Does it amuse you to think of me living out the rest of my life as a dreary man in a tedious job?

Q: 

I gave you something most mortals never experience. A second chance at life. And now all you can do is COMPLAIN? 

PICARD: 

I can't live out my days as that person. That man is bereft of passion and imagination. 

That is not Who I Am. 

Q: 

Au contraire, he's the person you wanted to be. One who was less arrogant, and undisciplined as a youth. One who was less like me. 

The Jean-Luc Picard you wanted to be, the one who did not fight the Nausicaan, had quite a different career from the one you remember. 

That Picard never had a brush with death, never came face to face with his own mortality, never realised how fragile life is or how important each moment must be. 

So his life never came into focus. 

He drifted for much of his career, with no plan or agenda, going from one assignment to the next, never seizing the opportunities that presented themselves. 

He never lead the away team on Milika Three to save the ambassador, 
or take charge of the Stargazer's Bridge when its Captain was killed. 
And no one ever offered him a command. 

He learned to play it safe. 

And he never, EVER got noticed by ANYONE. 

PICARD: 

You're right, Q. 

You gave me the chance to change and I took the opportunity. 

But I admit now, it was a mistake. 

Q: 

Are you asking me for something, Jean-Luc? 

PICARD: 

Give me a chance to put things back the way they were before. 

Q: 

Before you died in Sickbay. 
Is that what you want? 

PICARD: 

I would rather die as the man I WAS than live the life I just saw.