Daphne Dwarman

“Any Rational Society 

would either Kill Me

or at least put me 

to some Use….”

— Lecter.

“There is a problem in that 

Feminist Movement, isn’t there? 

From its inception in America 

there has always been 

a racial component —

When Susan B. Anthony 

was having that meeting 

and Sojourner Truth’s 

Black ass showed up. 

Read your history books. 

All the White women asked 

Sojourner Truth not to speak. 

They didn’t conflate the issues of 

Women’s Rights and Slavery. 

But you know how Black bitches are, 

so Sojourner Truth went up there anyway.

[laughter]

[applause and cheering]

She did a famous speech, she said 

“Ain’t I a woman?” 

“Ain’t I a woman?” That’s right. 

And listen, listen, listen. 

I supported the “Me Too” movement, 

but the whole time, the whole time I thought 

that the way they handled it was stupid. 

Loyalty means everything 

to The Clones.

Amanda Waller :

I wanna Build a Team of 

some very BAD people 

who I think can do some Good. 

Like Fight The Next War, 

Defeat The Next Superman. 

General Lane :

Not on My Watch. 

You're not putting 

those monsters 

back out on The Street 

in Our Name. 

Amanda Waller :

General, we run them covertly, 

non-attributed. Strictly 

need-to-know.

And if They get caught, 

We throw them 

under The Bus. 

“Before I go, I want to share this story with you because it is important to this point. I want your community to know that one of the coolest people I ever met was a transgender woman. And this is not A Man that I knew that became 'A Woman', This Woman was Trans when I met her. Lived in San Francisco, Daphne Dwarman is the name. I would do 18 shows in the Bay Area sometimes in Oakland and Dirty Hood night club and she would be there, White Trans-Woman, laughing loud and hard, at everything I said. Especially the trans jokes, very puzzling… because she was obviously Trans. And one night after one of the shows I met her. 

And what it was, turns out it was Her Dream to be A Comedian. 

And I was Her Hero. 

It was very moving. I could not dislike somebody that felt that way about me. We became fast friends. 

And when I made that special Sticks and Stones right as it was coming out, I happened to be in San Francisco and I wanted to do a show. But I needed an opening act, and I remembered… that trans woman I had met, so I called her on the phone. And I called her myself, I said, “Hey Daphne, this is Dave Chappelle.” She couldn’t believe it. And I go, “I’m in San Francisco.” And then she started saying a bunch of wild stuff, I was like “Relax now, I don’t want any pussy, I was… [laughter] I’m just calling, because I’m doing a show and I need an opening act. And I was wondering if you’d open the show?” And she was like, “Fuck, yeah.” 

Now… I didn’t know this at the time but this woman had only done stand up comedy eight times in her life. This was little to no experience and now she’s about to open a show for what many call The  GOAT.

[audience cheers]

[applause]

She’s an amateur in stature, but in practice, she was very professional. She showed up early, which is something I appreciate ’cause I like people to be on time. She was dressed to the motherfuckin’ nines, I mean, I’m transphobic and even I was like, “You look nice.”

[laughter]

Went up on the stage with all the swag of a professional comedian, grabbed that mic and walked right down the middle and looked at the crowd like a gangster. Man, you should have seen her work. This bitch bombed for 45 minutes, straight.

[cheers]

And I’m not exaggerating, Young Man. That show was terrible. Stunk. Stunk. And then she brings me on, and you know, I was like a glass of water after a handful of salt. The crowd was happy to see me. I was killing it. But here is what impressed me. Any other comedian I’ve ever seen, if they had bombed as bad as she did, would have snuck out of the back of the theatre and went home and cried or something, but she didn’t do that. Not only did she not leave, she found a seat, right up in front. You know, when a new comedian watches an experienced comedian in comedy we call this “taking class.” And this bitch took my whole class, she sat up there and was laughing as hard as she always laughs as if nothing bad had even happened to her. 

And I saw her show. 

Something bad happened to her.

[audience laughs]

She was drunk. So she starts talking to me, while I’m onstage but the way a person would talk to a television when they were alone. She was talking to me like that. That didn’t bother me ’cause I knew her. 

But the crowd didn’t like that shit at all ’cause she sucked. 

And a guy in the back of the room stood up and Daphne’s hair was dyed blonde at the time and the guy screamed out, and his energy felt Wild as Fuck. 

He said, “Hey Daphne!” and everybody got clamped, they got tense. 

We didn’t know who was a heckler or active shooter, and… [laughter] …he said, “Does the carpet match the drapes?” It was fucked up. The whole crowd kind of groaned, ’cause it was so like, mean. 

Everybody groaned, except for Daphne. She kind of laughed, which was weird. 

And she didn’t even look all the way back. 

She said, “Sir, I don’t have carpets, I have hardwood floors.” Just like that. [laughter] Just like that.

[applause]

Boy, when she said that shit, it blew the roof of the place. Cut through all the tension, with that one joke. She had made up for 45 minutes of a stinker of a show. And after that, she could Do No Wrong. And I kept on rocking, and she kept on talking to me. 

And then The Show became something cooler than A Show. It became like A Conversation between a Black Man and a White Trans-Woman and we started getting to the bottom of shit. 

All of them questions that you think about that you’d be afraid to ask, I was just asking them and she was answering them and her answers were funny as shit. The crowd was falling out of their chairs and at the end of the show, I go, “Well, Daphne”… I said “Well, that was fun.” 

I go, “I love you to death, but I have no fuckin’ idea what you’re talking about.” 

The whole crow laughed except for Daphne. 

Man, she looks at me like I’m not her friend anymore. Like I’m something bigger than me, like I’m the whole world in a guy. 

Then she said, “I don’t need you to understand me.” 

I said, “What?” 

She said, “I just need you to believe…” 

Just like that she goes, “…that I’m having A Human Experience.” 

And when she said it the whole crowd kind of gasped. 

And I gave The Fight Club-look. 

I said, “I believe you, bitch.”

[laughter]

Because she didn’t say anything about pronouns. 

She didn’t say anything about me being in Trouble. 

She said, “Just believe I’m a person and I’m going through it.” 

I know I believe you, because it takes one to know one.

[cheers and applause]

Then I told the crowd “Good night.” 

And they started going crazy and before the applause gets to it’s crescendo I was saying, “Don’t forget my opening act, Daphne.” 

And the crowd stood up. And I looked at her, tears came out of her eyes she couldn’t believe it was happening. 

I couldn’t believe it was happening ’cause her show stunk. [laughter] And it was a great night. And I remember, the late great Paul Mooney was there bunch of flyers, comedy n*ggas was there.

[cheers]

[applause]

And we all went backstage and was just drinking and talking shit and laughing and Daphne stole the room, she had everyone cracking up. 

Spinning the yarn, telling us all these crazy stories about shit, she’d be into. We all laughing real hard, and there she is telling us and everyone is laughing. 

I’m looking around, I’m like, “Oh my God, she is  funny.” 

I pulled her aside, I said, “You’re hilarious. I didn’t know that when you were onstage.” [laughter] 

I said, “You’re doing some things wrong but I can help you.” 

I said, “Anytime I’m in San Francisco why don’t you open the show for me and I’ll just try to give you some pointers and see if you can work this thing out.” 

She said, “Are you serious?” 

I was like, “Yeah.” 

And she grabbed me real tight, hugged me, squeezed me. And I pushed her off violently, ’cause I’m transphobic. 

I said “Boundaries, bitch!”

[audience laughs]

When Sticks and Stones came out… a lot of people in 'The Trans Community' were furious with me and apparently they dragged me on Twitter -- I don’t give a fuck, ’cause Twitter is not a real place.

[audience laughs]

[cheers and applause]

And the hardest thing for a person to do is go against Their Tribe if they disagree with Their Tribe, but Daphne did that for me. She wrote a tweet that was very beautiful and what she said was and it is almost exactly what she said. She said, “Punching down on someone, requires you to think less of them and I know him, and he doesn’t. He doesn’t punch up, he doesn’t punch down he punches lines, and he is a Master at His Craft.” That’s what she said.

[audience cheers]

Beautiful tweet, beautiful friend, it took a lot of heart to defend me like that, and when she did that the trans community dragged that bitch all over Twitter. For days, they was going in on her, and she was holding her own ’cause she’s funny. 

But six days after that wonderful night I described to you, 

My Friend Daphne killed herself. 

Oh yeah, this is a True Story, My Heart was broken. Yeah, it wasn’t the jokes. I don’t know if was them dragging or I don’t know what was going on in her life but I bet dragging her didn’t help. I was very angry at them, I was very angry at her. 

I felt like Daphne lied to me. 

She always said, she identified as A Woman. 

And then one day she goes up to the roof of her building and jumps off and kills herself. 

Clearly… only A Man would do some gangster shit like that. 

Hear me out. As hard as it is to hear a joke like that I’m telling you right now, Daphne would have loved that joke. That is why she was my friend.

[cheers and applause]

I was reading her obituary and I found out, she was survived by A Daughter. And the moment I found that out, and this is true Anderson Cooper from CNN texted me. And all he says, it’s very nice, he said, “I’m sorry to hear about your friend.” And I texted him right back. “New phone, who this?” [laughter] He said, “It’s Anderson Cooper.” 

"Oh," I said, “Anderson, look I need to find Her Family.” 

And he texted me right back with all the phone numbers and all this information. I say this to say, if you ever want to know about anything gay call Anderson Cooper from CNN. This n*gga is faster than Google. [laughter] 

What I did is, I got in touch with Her Family and I started a Trust Fund for Her Daughter ’cause I know that is all she ever really cared about.

[applause]

And I don’t know what the trans community did for her but I don’t care, because I feel like she wasn’t Their Tribe, she was Mine. 

She was A Comedian in Her Soul.

[applause]

The Daughter is very young, but I hope to be alive when she turns 21 ’cause I’m going to give her this money myself. 

And by then, by then, I’ll be ready to have The Conversation that I’m not ready to have today. 

But I’ll tell that little girl, “Young Lady, I knew Your Father… [audience laughs] …and he was a Wonderful Woman.”

[cheers]

[applause]
Empathy is not gay. Empathy is not Black. Empathy is bi-sexual. It must go both ways. It must go both ways.

[applause]

Remember, 

Taking a Man’s livelihood 
is akin to killing him. 

I’m begging you, please do not abort DaBaby.

[laughter]
[applause]

Kevin Hart dreamt his entire life of hosting the Oscars and when he finally got the job They just took it! It’s not fair. 

They didn’t kill him, Kevin is a strong guy. 

But I’m sure it broke old Clifford’s Heart. 

It’s over. LBGTQ, L-M-N-O-P-Q-Y-Z, it is over. I’m not telling another joke about you until we are both sure, that we are laughing together. I’m telling you this is done. I’m done talking about it. 

All I ask from your community, with all humility. 'Will you please stop punching-down on My People?' 

Thank you very much and good night.
[audience cheers]

Ostraphobia

Hook :

Good evening, 

Ladies and Gentlemen, 

Your Captain again.

Please do not allow 

this minor turbulence 

to disturb you.

For now, please sit back, relax. 

Enjoy the remainder 

of The Flight.

Thank You.

Look what Jack drew.

That's very nice, dear.

- What's that? - Fire.

Fire. Really?

- Is that our plane? - Yep.

Who are these people?

That's Jack, that's me, 

that's Mom...

...and that's you.

Where's my parachute?

I won't make it to 

my next birthday….

You won't die without A Phone 

and a fax machine

I got The Phone, 

and The Briefcase.

Talk to him.

…why didn't I have 

a parachute, Jackie?

Take a wild guess.

Jackie. 

Jack.

Will you stop? You can break a window.

They're double-layered. You can't break them.

Give me that.

- You're afraid you'll get sucked out. - I'm not afraid of being sucked out.

Yes, you are. You're afraid you'll be sucked out.

Just stop.

Jack, next season, I'm coming to six games. I promise.

Yeah, be sure to buy enough videotape.

Hey. Jack.

My word is My Bond.

Yeah, junk bond!

What's the matter with you? 

When are you gonna stop 

acting like a child?

I AM a child.

Grow up.

My Great and Worthy Opponent

You can always Judge a Man

by The Quality of His Enemies.

Capt. James Hook :

Is it You?

My Great and Worthy opponent?

But it can't be.

Not this pitiful, spineless, pasty, bloated, codfish I see before me.

You're not even 

A Shadow of Peter Pan.

(To Mr. Smee)

You have an obligation 

to clarify this Pan problem.

This Disaster.

….which must be remedied.

Expediently.

Peter :

I want My Children. 

The stakes can be no higher.

Capt. James Hook :

And for Me, sir, they 

could have sunk no lower, 

And I want My WAR!

Soldierisation

“So that's it —

You're making me The Goat :

The only completely innocent man 

in this whole affair.

I have only one last thing to say to you, George :

The Man you stabbed in The Back, 

is A Soldier.”

The Hive Switch 

In September 1941, William McNeill was drafted into the U.S. Army. He spent several months in basic training, which consisted mostly of marching around the drill field in close formation with a few dozen other men. At first McNeill thought the marching was just a way to pass the time, because his base had no weapons with which to train. 

But after a few weeks, when his unit began to synchronize well, he began to experience an altered state of consciousness: 

Words are inadequate to describe the emotion aroused by the prolonged movement in unison that drilling involved. 

A sense of pervasive well-being is what I recall; more specifically, a strange sense of personal enlargement; a sort of swelling out, becoming bigger than life, thanks to participation in collective ritual. 

McNeill fought in World War II and later became a distinguished historian. His research led him to the conclusion that the key innovation of Greek, Roman, and later European armies was the sort of synchronous drilling and marching the army had forced him to do years before. He hypothesized that the process of “muscular bonding”—moving together in time—was a mechanism that evolved long before the beginning of recorded history for shutting down the self and creating a temporary superorganism. Muscular bonding enabled people to forget themselves, trust each other, function as a unit, and then crush less cohesive groups.

McNeill studied accounts of men in battle and found that men risk their lives not so much for their country or their ideals as for their comrades-in-arms. He quoted one veteran who gave this example of what happens when “I” becomes “we”: 

“Many veterans who are honest with themselves will admit, I believe, that the experience of communal effort in battle … has been the high point of their lives. … 

Their “I” passes insensibly into a “we,” “my” becomes “our,” and individual fate loses its central importance. 

… I believe that it is nothing less than the assurance of immortality that makes self sacrifice at these moments so relatively easy. 

… I may fall, but I do not die, for that which is real in me goes forward and lives on in the comrades for whom I gave up my life.”

Men of Fire

 

Polly (put The Kettle on) :

Have done it Doctor, did you really find something…?

 

The Cosmic Hobo :

…oh, Polly, I only wish I had.

 

….why not make some coffee 

to keep them all happy, 

while I think of something.

 

Polly (put The Kettle on) :

(tenderly touches him on the shoulder)

Alright.

….it’s The SUGAR. 

That’s Why it only affects some people —

not everyone takes it.

 

Male Organism 

Not Suited to Induce Other Males 

 

It is frequently reported that homosexual relations are prevalent in that type of boys’ school called a “public school” in England, and a “private school” in the United States. 

 

I have had occasion to observe one or two such relationships. 

 

In the cases which have come to my attention an older, stronger boy has compelled a young and much weaker boy to give him erotic pleasure, as well as to perform many other services of an appetitive nature for the benefit of the older youth. 

 

In such cases as these, the emotional response of inducement on the part of the older boy wins for him a greater total amount of pleasantness, both appetitive and erotic, than that which can be obtained from mere teasing and torturing of younger boys. 

 

Moreover, the younger boy’s combined submission and inducement attain for him a certain amount of Freedom from being made the object of dominance response. 

 

The older boy in these affairs usually protects and favours, in various ways, the boy who submits to him. Frequently he not only refrains from hazing or tormenting the younger boy, but also prevents other boys from doing so.

 

In this type of behaviour, therefore, we may see a certain amount of inducement expressed by a male subject free from control of dominance.

 

The Limitation to such relationships seems to be a physiological one.

 

Since neither the body nor the emotional development of the younger boy is suited to act as an effective stimulus to the passion of the stronger youth, the dominance of the younger boy yielding to dominance of the older boy becomes a matter of compliance by the weaker one rather than submission.

 

The older boy as environmental stimulus, in short, evokes motor stimuli stronger than the motor self of his companion, but, for the most part, antagonistic to it.

 

Thus, the stronger youth becomes an adequate stimulus to compliance but not to submission. The younger boy yields, not because he enjoys the relationship as such, but because it seems to be to his appetitive advantage.

 

“That’s a LOT of Baseball Cards….."

 

The compliance of the weaker boy, in turn, makes itself felt by the would-be inducer, and the inducement fails to produce sufficient pleasantness to be long continued.

 

From this sort of relationship, however, both boys frequently emerge with an unusually complete appetitive development, and with a transfer of inducement into adaptation to, and control by appetite.

 

In other words, the older boy has learned that he can use inducement to obtain services and pleasures which would otherwise be beyond his reach.

 

The younger boy, also, has been taught that by a compound response made up of inducement and submission expressed toward a stronger companion, he can obtain protection, gifts, and perhaps advancement in school activities of various sorts.

 

In the cases I have studied, at least, both boys entering into such a relationship, tend thereafter to use the primary emotional response of inducement not for its own sake nor for the completion of a true love response, but rather as first aid in furthering the ends of active and passive appetite or both.

 

This use of inducement, as we shall have occasion later to observe, constitutes one of the most unfortunate of personality developments. 

 

Normal Adult Male Transfers 

Inducement From Sadism to Business

 

The element of inducement in males who have not had experiences of homosexual type, nevertheless, tends to follow a somewhat similar course of development. The behaviour called “cruelty” toward other males continues to be expressed in some degree throughout adult life. Business men, as well as men engaged in professional and academic life, appear to obtain a certain emotional pleasure by means of imposing hardships and minor torments upon other males who come under their authority. And this same type of pleasure is still more obviously manifested when failure of another man is reported, even though this individual is in no sense a rival. Criticisms or attacks made upon another male appear to be enjoyed without restraint by most men, and it would appear that the dominant or appetitive satisfaction in disposing of a rival fails to account satisfactorily for the entire response. There exists, in addition, a certain emotional gratification (captivation emotion) in the thought that the person attacked is thereby subjected to the subject himself as well as to all other persons who witness the attack. With the normal and fairly successful business man, however, these occasional enjoyments of perverted inducement response must be strictly limited to those occasions when the subject’s own appetitive interests can not be injured by indulging in enjoyment of the other person’s enforced subjection. Daring late adolescence there is indication that dominance, compliance and their appetitive combinations develop very rapidly with male subjects, until appetite may be said to exercise undisputed control over the average male’s emotional responses. With this maturing appetite comes the suppression and limitation of inducement expressed in forcefully bullying and injuring other males. The youth begins to discover that he cannot afford to alienate other males who may later serve his interests in one way or another, no matter how insignificant these persons may seem at the time when he has an opportunity to subject them injuriously in some way. For instance, one boy may successfully dominate another lad of the same group during athletic competition or competitive seeking of the same class office or scholastic prize. The natural tendency of the male following such successes seems to consist of an expression of open triumph over the rival, with perhaps a certain patronizing condescension expressive of the defeated one’s subjection to the superior strength of the more successful boy. The triumphant boy does not regard this defeated rival as an enemy or antagonist. In fact, the whole pleasure of the inducement response would be turned to indifference were the other boy regarded as a real antagonist. To enjoy this type of victory to the full, the defeated male must still be thought of as a friend, though a friend of inferior strength and position. It soon transpires, however, that the defeated boy has reacted to the openly expressed superiority of the successful youth by becoming a real enemy. Perhaps, at a subsequent election of class officers or in the course of academic relationships, if the two boys are taking the same courses, an occasion arises where the formerly successful youth needs the support of the boy whom he has been treating as an inferior. He finds this support is not forthcoming. The formerly defeated youth now responds with dominance to the previously controlling dominance in the other boy’s behaviour and the formerly triumphant youth suffers accordingly. I studied several instances of this type, and found that in these instances only a few such experiences were necessary to lead to a splitting off of inducement from open dominance, and the initiation of a new pattern of behaviour in which inducement was used to further the ends of appetite instead of thwarting them. In other words, instead of giving free rein to the pleasantness of injurious subjection of other boys the subject quickly learned to use inducement to acquire and regain their appetitive assistance and service. Inducement in Business This system of emotional organization, wherein inducement is used as first assistant to active appetite, forms what may be called the extensor muscle of modern business. Selling goods is a clear cut example of this type of composite emotional response. The salesman not only stimulates the appetitive mechanisms of his prospective customers by impressing upon the buyer the financial advantage which these particular goods hold for him, but he also uses a considerable amount of “personal appeal” to the buyer. That is to say, the salesman endeavours to impress the buyer with his own qualities as a good fellow and reliable person. And if the prospective customer allows himself to become sympathetic the salesman may even make an open statement of his own personal needs and desires in winning the patronage of the merchant to whom he is talking. All this consists of rather clear-cut, active inducement behaviour, on the part of the salesman. In itself such behaviour has no connection whatever with the intrinsic merit or usefulness of the goods to be sold. Yet, no business man to-day doubts the importance of such inducement technique in effecting sales. Even printed advertisements which do not, of course, enable the seller to appear personally before the buyer, contain as large an element of inducement as it is possible to convey with the help of words, pictures and suggestions of both form and colour. Pretty girls are depicted extending the article to be sold invitingly toward the reader of the advertisement. The concern manufacturing the product advertised is symbolized as the family’s best friend, or as the generous saviour of humanity in distress.

 

Another form of what might be called substituted inducement, commonly found in advertisements, is the attempted identification of the advertiser with some member of the prospective customer’s family, who is represented as inducing the reader of the advertisement to buy the product advertised.

 

For instance, a picture of a baby may be shown with the heading:

“Bring happiness to your child, buy this cuddly, dimpled baby doll!”

 

Or a picture of two attractive children sharing a bottle of soft drink,

may be displayed with the legend: “Let your children enjoy these taste-tempting drinks”.

 

In nearly all selling methods of modern business some element of inducement can be found directly or indirectly expressed, over and above the appetitive appeal contained in descriptions of the intrinsic values and delights of the goods themselves.

 

This use of inducement response as a servant of appetite emotion tends to be learned by the average male about the time of sexual maturity. Thereafter, he limits more and more the use of inducement in enjoyment of the captivation of other males, and extends its use further and further for the purpose of procuring appetitive benefits from other people of both sexes.

 

Confusions Between Inducement and Dominance

 

The behaviour just considered, which might aptly be styled the evolution of male inducement, serves only to illustrate the tendency which all males exhibit, at times, to confuse and intermingle dominance and inducement responses.

 

The integrative element which is identical in dominance and inducement is the superiority of the motor self over the strength of the motor stimulus.

 

The integrative difference between the two responses consists in the fact that an adequate stimulus to dominance emotion is antagonistic to the motor self while adequate motor stimulus to inducement must remain in alliance with the motor self.

 

If there appears to be the slightest doubt as to whether the person who constitutes the environmental stimulus is willing to accept the rôle of inferiority to the subject, then the average male organism immediately tends to react to the individual in question as to an antagonistic stimulus.

 

The “boot-licking,” or utterly servile attitude which male underlings of great men so frequently find it necessary to adopt, in order to retain their positions, furnishes dependable evidence of the tendency just referred to.

 

If the assistant or employee inadvertently manifested, at any time, behaviour which impressed his chief with a possible superiority of strength on the part of the supposedly inferior male, the employer would feel immediate necessity for reducing his employee’s strength to a level obviously lower than his own.

 

This emotional purpose, again, is a common one both to dominance and to inducement responses; but since dominance is the prevailing male emotion, the employer almost invariably seeks to educe his subordinate’s strength by action antagonistic to the other man’s interests.

 

He may reprimand him before others, decrease his pay, or discharge him. 

 

I have observed many instances of each of these methods used by males in Authority to reduce the strength of a subordinate. 

 

Nor are such methods limited to business or other appetitive relationships where there may be, in most cases, some actual opposition of interests between chief and subordinate. 

 

In The Home, a Wife or Son may be “put in their place” by this method. 

 

Deliberately cutting and insulting remarks may be addressed to The Wife. 

 

A Son who shows any tendency to dispute the superiority of a “successful” father is likely to receive more definitely injurious treatment. 

 

Physical abuse, cutting off a son’s allowance or privileges, or even (in one actual case) causing the son’s arrest and sentence in juvenile court, may be used as methods of reducing the “uppishness” of The Boy. 

 

All these courses of action are dominant and not inductive methods of reducing the strength of the person regarded as inferior to the subject, since all these methods of treatment disregard utterly the interests and well being of the person thus treated. 

 

Were inducement the prevailing response, the actions of The Father, or person in Authority must have been kept in complete alliance with the welfare and happiness of the persons subjected. Had this been done, and true inducement actually exercised, the inferior persons must have been induced voluntarily to reduce their own strength to a required degree, in order to accept completely the control of the inducer. 

 

Most males, who appear to possess very meagre development of inducement emotion in pure form, would regard such a task as utterly impossible. An average male is prone to remark “the only way to show the boy his place is to beat him within an inch of his life”. 

 

Often the sentiment expressed is more violent than the action which follows, but the two are usually similar in nature. Whenever another person’s strength is to be reduced to a level inferior to a man’s own, the person is treated as An Opponent and dominance takes the place of inducement in nine cases out of ten.

 

 

Hans: 

Very well. (hangs up)

 They're coming. 

Now we'll see how these Russians 

deal with a crack SS division. 

 

Erich: 

(putting his cap on) 

Er.... Hans.... 

 

Hans: 

Have courage, My Friend! 

 

Erich: 

Yeah. Er.... Hans,

I've just noticed something. 

 

Hans: 

(looking through binoculars)

These Communists 

are all cowards! 

 

Erich: 

Have you looked at

our caps recently? 

 

Hans:

(lowers binoculars)

Our caps? 

 

Erich: 

The badges on our caps.

Have you looked at them? 

 

Hans:

What?... No... A bit. 

 

Erich:

...They've got skulls on them. 

 

Hans:

Hm? 

 

Erich:

Have you noticed our caps have actually got

little pictures of skulls on them? 

 

Hans:

Er... I don't, erm... 

 

Erich:

Hans... are we the baddies?

 

Later, Erich still can't get over the fact that

the skulls seem to imply that

he and Hans are on the wrong side

of Good and Evil:

 

Hans:

Well — maybe they're the skulls of our enemies! 

 

Erich:

Maybe. But is that how it comes across?

I mean, it doesn't say next to the skull, y'know,

"Yeah, we killed him, but Trust Us,

this guy was horrid"! 

 

Hans:

Well, no, but— 

 

Erich:

I mean, what do skulls

make you think of?

Death. Cannibals. Beheading.

Erm... Pirates... 

 

Hans:

(brightening)

Pirates are fun!

 

Erich:

I didn't say we weren't fun,

but, fun or not, Pirates

are still the baddies.

I just can't think of anything

good about a skull!

 

Hans:

What about….

pure Aryan skull shape? 

 

Erich:

Even that is more usually depicted

with the skin still on!

Whereas The Allies—

 

Hans:

Oh, you haven't been listening 

to Allied propaganda?

Of course, they're gonna say 

we're the bad guys!

 

Erich:

But they didn't get to

design our uniforms!

And their symbols are all,

y'know, quite nice!

Stars, stripes, lions, sickles... 

 

Hans:

What's so good about a sickle? 

 

Erich:

Well, nothing, obviously,

and if there's one thing we've learned

in the last thousand miles of retreat,

it's that Russian agriculture

is in dire need

of mechanisation! 

 

Hans:

Tell me about it! 

 

Erich:

But you've gotta say,

it's better than a skull!

I mean, I really can't think of anything worse, 

as a symbol, than a skull! 

Hans: (thinks) 

A rat's.... anus? 

Erich: 

Yeah. And if we were fighting an army 

marching under the banner of a rat's anus, 

I'd probably be a lot less worried, Hans! 

(Hans puts a cigarette in his mouth and sets down an ashtray — shaped like a skull. As he absorbs this, he and Erich see one of their comrades drinking out of a mug with a skull on the side, and another knitting a scarf with a skull pattern) 

Hans: 

...Okay. So... 

(he and Erich suddenly bolt from the table and run for it)