Monday, 29 July 2019

Safety Not Guaranteed



Advice is a form of Nostalgia – 
Dispensing it is a way of fishing The Past from The Disposal, 
Wiping it off, Painting-over The Ugly Parts 
and Recycling it for more than it's worth



Listen, I'm sorry about the noise level here. 
But we need to maintain cover. 
I'm certain I'm being recorded, I'm certain I'm being followed. 

Government agents maybe. Probably. 

But The Joke's on them. The technology I've invented can't be understood by the average mind. 

Just hold it in your holster for a second, okay? 
 I'm still making up my mind about you as a potential partner. 

I have to be absolutely certain that I can trust you before I include you in Certain Information. 

Well, I just don't wanna be jerked around. 
You know, jerking around is for jerks. 



Jeff :
What are you doing in The Lobby?

Arnau : 
Are they still in there?



Jeff : Yeah, that's The Point. She's still in there.
You go.

Arnau :
What do you mean I go?
 

Jeff :
I didn't want to hang out with these three.
I did it for you!
 
Arnau :
I don't think so. It's fine. You go.


Jeff :
Are you gay?


Arnau :
What? No...


Jeff :
Is that what this is?

Arnau :
No.



Jeff : I'm asking you seriously, I'm not judging you.
You don't know this about me, but I don't care about that stuff.
 
Arnau :
No, Jeff, I'm not gay, no.






Jeff : This is set up perfectly.
Do you not think she's hot?

Arnau :
You're acting like it's so easy.


Jeff :
Because it is so easy.

Arnau :
No, Jeff. 
It's easy for you, not for me.


Jeff :
Why not?
 

Arnau :
Because I'm not you, Jeff.
Do you just wanna see me get embarrassed?
 

Jeff :
No!
Arnau, come here, man. Come here.
Fucking come here.
I'm not pranking you, man.

You're not gonna get this opportunity very much longer.

You're Not Always Gonna Be 21, Young Man.
 
I promise you fucking that.
 
Arnau :
I don't know. I don't know what to...
How do I start?





Jeff : First of all, take these pedophile glasses off and don't wear these, they make you look like a weirdo, man.
I'm gonna put these on you. 

Holy shit!
Look at that killer.
 

That Dude right there crushes chicks.

I would take a photo of you and show you how good you looked right now, 'cause you look fantastic.

You look like a damn pilot.

Arnau :
Okay.

Like a cool pilot who drives jets.
Pop this shit.
 
Act like you've been There before.
You're not gonna be your age forever.


One day, you're gonna be The Old Dirtbag.
All by Yourself.


This is The Moment You Live for.

Arnau :
Okay.


Jeff :
Okay?
 
Arnau :
Okay.




Jeff : Hey, Halloween, you smoke?










Grandfathered in to Infinity (and Beyond!)



“ The Marvel Universe Rule [is] that whenever a character goes back in time, he or she is not going to end up in the same time line he or she left. A new time line, virtually identical to the original one, is created by the trip through time, and that's the one the character is visiting. 

The best example of this rule is MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE #50, wherein the Thing went back in time to the earliest days of the Fantastic Four, as part of an experiment to cure himself. The Thing realized by the end of the story that even if his younger self was cured, it would have no bearing on his current self, because the younger Thing who received the cure was from an alternate timeline created by the Thing's journey back in time. 

Gaaaah! Hope I haven't lost you here! This is the simplest explanation I could come up with! ” 

Friday, 26 July 2019

The Majors Tom : 2010 - The Year We Make Contact





We're on dangerous ground right now, because of our secrets and our lies.

They're practically what define us.

When The Truth offends, we lie and lie until we can no longer remember it is even there.

But it is still there.

Every lie we tell incurs a debt to The Truth.

Sooner or later, that debt is paid.

That is how an HAL-9000 Computer turns into a serial murderer and goes on a killing spree.

Lies.
















 


Understand, nobody can talk.
The accents will confuse him.
He can understand me, so if you have
any questions, please let me ask them.
Good morning, HAL.



HAL [OVER SPEAKERS]:
Good morning, Dr. Chandra.



Do you feel capable of resuming all of your duties?
 


Of course.
I am completely operational and all my circuits are functioning perfectly.



That's good.
Do you know what those duties are?
 


Yes. I will operate the onboard systems of Discovery.
There is a launch window in 31 days when Earth is in the proper position.
There is enough fuel on board
for a low consumption route that will enable Discovery
to return in 28 months.

This will not present a problem.
 


CHANDRA: 
That's very good.
Now, HAL, do you mind if I ask you a question?
 


Not at all.
 


Do you recall Dave Bowman
and Frank Poole leaving the Discovery?
 


Certainly not. That could never have happened or I would remember it.


Where are Frank and Dave?


They're fine. They're not here right now.
 


Who are these people?
I can only identify you although I compute
a 65 percent probability that the man behind you is Dr. Floyd.
 


CHANDRA: 
Don't worry, HAL.
I'll explain everything later.
 



Has the mission been completed?
You know that I have the greatest enthusiasm for it.
 



The mission has been completed
and you have carried out your program very well.
 


And now, HAL, if you will excuse us
for a moment we wish to have a private conversation.
 


Certainly.
What was that all about?
 



I've erased all of HAL's memory from the moment the trouble started.
 


The 9000 series
uses holographic memories so chronological erasures
would not work.



CHANDRA: 

 I made a tapeworm.



You made a what?
It's a program that's fed into a system that will destroy any desired memories.



Wait.



Do you know why HAL did what he did?


Yes. It wasn't his fault.
Whose fault was it?


Yours.


Mine?
CHANDRA:
Yours.
In going through HAL's memory banks
I discovered his original orders.
You wrote those orders.
Discovery's mission to Jupiter was already
in the advanced stages when the first small monolith was found
and sent its signal toward Jupiter.
By direct presidential order, the existence
of that monolith was kept secret.



So?

So as the function of the command crew, Bowman and Poole
was to get Discovery to its destination it was decided they shouldn't be informed.



The investigative team was trained separately and placed in hibernation before the voyage began.
Since HAL was capable of operating
Discovery without human assistance it was decided he should be programmed to complete the mission autonomously in the event the crew was incapacitated or killed.
He was given full knowledge
of the true objective and instructed not to reveal anything
to Bowman or Poole.


He was instructed to lie.


What are you talking about?
I didn't authorize anyone to tell HAL about the monolith.
 


The directive is NSC 342-slash-23, Top Secret, January 30, 2001 .
NSC, National Security Council, the White House.
I don't care who it is.
The situation was in conflict with the basic purpose of HAL's design the accurate processing of information without distortion or concealment.
 

He became trapped.

The technical term is an H-Mobius loop, which can happen in advanced computers with autonomous
goal-seeking programs.



The goddamn White House.
I don't believe it.
 

HAL was told to lie by people who find it easy to lie.
HAL doesn't know how, so he couldn't function.
He became paranoid.
 


Those sons of bitches.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
You think we're gonna
get out of this alive?
We have a chance.
A man of few words. I like it.
HAL [OVER SPEAKERS]: Fifteen minutes
to ignition. All systems nominal.
Good. Thank you, HAL.
FLOYD [OVER RADIO]:
We read 15 minutes, Discovery.
HAL: Dr. Chandra,
I've checked my calculations again.
By using all of Discovery's fuel now,
Discovery will not be in proper position...
...to rendezvous with Earth.
CHANDRA: Yes, I know.
HAL: Then why are we doing it?
You will rendezvous
with the new space station.
The Leonov has been
ordered home immediately.
HAL: I have no information regarding
a new space station.
Yes, I....
I know, uh.
It was completed two years ago.
Oh, my God.
FLOYD:
Put the telescope on the monitor.
Increase the magnification.
HAL:
Eleven minutes to ignition.
I don't believe it.
HAL: Dr. Chandra,
I detect strong vocal stress patterns.
-Is there a problem?
CHANDRA: No, HAL.
The mission is proceeding normally.
Can you analyze the image
on Monitor Circuit 2?
HAL: Yes. There is a circular object
near the equator.
It is 22,000 kilometers in diameter.
It is comprised of rectangular objects.
CHANDRA: How many?
HAL: 1,355,000, plus or minus 1000.
And what is the proportion
of the objects in question?
HAL: One-by-four-by-nine.
CHANDRA: Do you recognize these objects?
HAL: Yes. They are identical in size and shape
to the object you call the monolith.
Ten minutes to ignition.
All systems nominal.
CHANDRA: Is the number
of monoliths constant?
HAL:
No.
-They are increasing.
-At what rate?
HAL:
Once every two minutes.
Look closely.
Tell me I'm nuts. Are the cloud formations
going towards the spot?
You're not nuts.
ORLOV: Looks like the thing
is eating the planet.
-I think it is.
-It's reproducing exactly like a virus.
HAL: Eight minutes to ignition.
Dr. Chandra, may I make a suggestion?
Of course. What is it, HAL?
HAL:
This is a very unusual phenomenon.
Don't you think
I should abort the countdown...
...so you can remain to study it?
Chandra, get on a headset.
-Use the private channel.
-Okay.
Now you got to talk quickly.
Persuade him to continue the countdown.
I don't care what you tell him,
only don't let him stop.
HAL:
Five minutes to ignition.
Dr. Chandra, I'm ready to stop
the countdown if you want.
No, HAL, don't stop.
I am confident in your ability
to study the phenomenon yourself.
I have complete faith in you.
HAL: Propellant tank pressurization
completed. Voltage steady.
Are you sure you're making
the right decision?
I think we should stop.
Four minutes to ignition.
I enjoy working with human beings...
...and have stimulating relationships
with them.
We enjoy working with you, HAL,
and we will continue to do so...
...even if we are separated
by great distance.
Good God.
Color.
It's fading.
ORLOV: It seems to be
losing its chemical strength.
HAL: I think we should stop the countdown,
Dr. Chandra.
No. Don't do that.
HAL: This behavior is inconsistent
with logic, Dr. Chandra.
This phenomenon is too important
to leave, unless it represented danger.
Do you think there is danger here?
Captain, how critical is our ignition?
-Can we do this manually?
-It's very critical.
We cannot be accurate
to a tenth of a second if we do it manually.
HAL:
Three minutes to ignition.
Dr. Chandra, I am waiting for your reply.
I don't have time
to explain everything to you, HAL.
We have to leave here
and we need your help.
HAL:
Thirty seconds to final sequence.
If you would tell me the reasons
perhaps I could be of help.
Final sequence beginning.
Two minutes to ignition.
Dr. Chandra, I find it difficult
to proceed with the ignition...
...without knowing why we are doing this.
Is the mission in jeopardy?
Yes, we're in jeopardy.
HAL: Is that why we are making our
escape launch before the launch window?
Yes, HAL.
HAL:
Ignition in 90 seconds.
If there is danger here
and I use up all the fuel in the escape...
...what will happen to the Discovery?
It could be destroyed.
HAL:
And if I don't proceed with the launch?
Then the Leonov and everybody in it
could be destroyed.
HAL:
I understand now, Dr. Chandra.
Do you want me to stay with you?
HAL: No.
It is better for the mission if you leave.
One minute to ignition.
Thank you for telling me the truth.
You deserve it.
HAL:
Fifty seconds.
Dr. Chandra?
Yes?
HAL:
Will I dream?
I don't know.
HAL:
Forty seconds.
Thirty seconds.
Thank you, HAL.
HAL:
Goodbye, Dr. Chandra.
Twenty seconds.
FLOYD:
Chandra, get the hell out of there.
HAL:
Ten, nine, eight, seven...
...six, five, four, three...
...two, one.
Ignition full thrust.
MAN [OVER PA]: One minute to separation.
Separation in one minute.
-You had us scared for a moment.
-Nice work. You all right?
Yes, I'm all right.
MAN: Separation in 40 seconds.
-Thought you might want this.
When?
-Wasn't very hard to find.
MAN: Separation in 30 seconds.
Yeah, I knew you would do
something like this.
MAN:
Separation in 20 seconds.
Separation in 10 seconds.
[SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN]
Nine, eight, seven...
...six, five, four, three...
...two, one, zero.
BOWMAN:
HAL, do you read me?
HAL [OVER SPEAKERS]:
Yes, Dave.
Where are you?
I cannot see you on any of my monitors.
BOWMAN: That isn't important now.
I have new instructions for you.
I want you to point the AE35 antenna
towards Earth.
HAL: Dave, that will mean breaking contact
with the Leonov.
I will no longer be able to relay
my Jupiter observations...
...according to program.
BOWMAN:
I understand.
The situation has changed.
Accept priority override alpha.
Here are the AE35 coordinates.
Please, do it now.
HAL: Instructions confirmed, Dave.
It is good to be working with you again.
Have I fulfilled
the mission objectives properly?
BOWMAN:
Yes, HAL. You have done very well.
Now, there is one final message for you
to transmit to Earth.
It is the most important message
you have ever sent.
I want you to keep repeating it
as many times as possible.
HAL: What is going to happen, Dave?
BOWMAN: Something wonderful.
HAL: I'm afraid.
BOWMAN: Don't be. We'll be together.
HAL: Where will we be?
BOWMAN: Where I am now.
HAL: Lock confirmed on Beacon Terra 1.
Message commencing.
It's shrinking! It's shrinking!
[ALARM BEEPING]
Don't quit. Don't quit, damn it.
Move!
Grab something, now!

The Messenger


 

I know you people are caught in the middle of this. 

In a sense, we all are.

I wish there was something I could do.
The only thing left for us is to pray.
Pray for the safety of our families, for our countries, for our planet.
May God forgive us and protect us.







FLOYD : 
HAL, give me a system status report, please.


HAL-9000 :
Just one moment, please.
I'm sorry for the delay.
My voice recognition circuits are not completely restored although, as you can see, they are improving.
All systems are functional.
There is a small pressure leak in the aft heating unit. 
It is nothing serious.
I can compensate for it by using the redundant units.

FLOYD :
Thank you.

HAL-9000 :
Dr. Floyd?

FLOYD :
Yes?

HAL-9000 :
Would you like to play a game of chess?
I play very well.


FLOYD :
I'm sure you do. 
No, thank you.


HAL-9000 :
Dr. Floyd?



FLOYD :
What is it, HAL?

HAL-9000 :
There is a message for you.


FLOYD :
Who's calling?


HAL-9000 :
There is no identification.


FLOYD :
What's the message?



HAL-9000 :
Message as follows:
It is Dangerous to Remain Here.
You Must Leave Within Two Days.


FLOYD :
What?


HAL-9000 :
Do you want me to repeat the message, Dr. Floyd?


FLOYD :
Who recorded it?



HAL-9000 :
This is not a recording.



FLOYD :
Who's sending it?


HAL-9000 :
There is no identification.



FLOYD :
I don't understand.

HAL-9000 :
Neither do I.



FLOYD :
Is this message by voice or keyboard?


HAL-9000 :
I don't know.


FLOYD :
My response is:
We don't have enough fuel for an earlier departure.


HAL-9000 :
The answer is:
I'm aware of these facts.
Nevertheless, you must leave within two days.



FLOYD :
HAL, who the hell is sending this?


HAL-9000 :
I'm sorry, Dr. Floyd. 
I don't know.


FLOYD :
Well, tell whoever it is that I can't take any of this seriously unless I know who I'm talking to.


HAL-9000 :
Dr. Floyd?


FLOYD :
Yes?

HAL-9000 : 
The response is:
I was David Bowman.
Do you want me to repeat the last response?


FLOYD :
No, no.
Tell Curnow that this is no time for jokes.

HAL-9000 :
Dr. Curnow is not sending the message.
He is in Accessway 2.


FLOYD :
Well, tell whoever it is that...
...I can't accept that identification without proof.

HAL-9000 :
The response is: 
I understand.
It is important that you believe me.
Look behind you.


IWAS :
[IN COMPUTERIZED VOICE]
Hello, Dr. Floyd.
Please...
...believe me.


FLOYD :
What are you?

 IWAS :
This is very difficult for me.
I don't have much time.
I've been allowed to give you this warning.
You must leave here in two days.



FLOYD :
Allowed.
By who?


IWAS :
I can't explain.
You see, something is going to happen.
You must leave.


FLOYD :
What?
What's going to happen?


IWAS :
Something Wonderful.


FLOYD :
What?



IWAS :
I understand how you feel.
You see, it's all very clear to me now.
The Whole Thing.
It's Wonderful.



FLOYD :
Please, if--


IWAS :
-[IN NORMAL VOICE] 
Goodbye, Dr. Floyd.
We can have no further contact.
Remember:
You have two days.


FLOYD :
We can't leave in two days.


IWAS :
There may be another message after if all goes well.

FLOYD :
What's going to happen?



This is Not a Hug, Son – Howard, Tony and Peter


Attack EyeBrows: 
I, I don't think that I'm a hugging person now.

CLARA: 
I'm not sure you get a vote.

Attack EyeBrows: 
Whatever you say.














" In our world today, need is a dirty word. People love to deny, suppress and disown their needs as if that somehow makes them a better person. We are addicted to independence. But here’s the problem: No matter how much you may want it to be different, you have needs. Every being on earth has needs. A need is something that is required in order to live, succeed or be happy. And you cannot un-require something that is required. You cannot argue your way into seeing that it isn’t necessary. You have one option when it comes to your needs and that is to meet them. There are many needs we love to deny. But today I’m going to talk to you about one of them. It is the need for touch.

People are preoccupied and obsessed with the idea of overriding their biology. If you look around the world today, our modern society is an example of this. Religion looks to suppress all instinctive energies within us like sexuality, hunger, and desire. Our modern society has made it so that we are mentally and emotionally ready to have babies at age 30 to 40, when our bodies are in fact on the downswing of fertility at that age. We have become, as a society, obsessed with finding a way to be immortal. We want to transcend all that makes us human. But when it comes to connection, we find ourselves in real trouble when we try to override our biology.

We might like to think that we can physically exist without each other, but we can’t. Healthy autonomy cannot arise in a person who has no sense of safety or adequacy, which for a physical human is provided through the person’s learned sense of security of connection. For a physical human, the chemical cocktail that our body releases in response to touch and contact comfort connection is the exact opposite of the chemical cocktail that is released in response to fear and shame. And so we need to accept that connection is our antidote. The sooner we can accept this reality about ourselves, the better. We are a social species. And more than that, we are a social species that needs contact comfort. Yes, I am talking about human touch.

I’ve never forgotten about a series of experiments that were done by a man named Harry Harlow in the 1950s. He was seeking to understand the human need for love, and the critical role that it plays in both primate and human development, so he separated a group of baby rhesus monkeys from their mothers when they were born.

The baby monkeys were each caged alone in the lab and allowed no physical contact with the personnel in the lab or with each other even though they could see the other monkeys and personnel. They immediately began exhibiting signs of distress. They clutched themselves, began rocking, staring into space as if dissociating, biting themselves, and biting their cages. They did not play or groom themselves and they seemed vacillate between anxiety and depression.

The babies were then assigned to one of two fake surrogate mothers. One was a model made of chicken wire that was covered in soft terrycloth. It was made to look roughly like a monkey. This surrogate did not provide any food. The other surrogate mother was also made of chicken wire, but no terrycloth. It had a crocodile looking head and provided milk from an attached baby bottle.

To say that the babies favored the mother covered in terrycloth is an understatement. The comfort these babies received through touch contact was incomparably more important to them than even their physical hunger. They needed connection more than they needed nourishment. This is also the case for people, not just monkeys. If our need for nourishment was stronger than our need for connection with one another, we would not meet people who can’t eat or sleep when they experience a painful break-up with someone they loved.

There is another unforgettable research study that I learned about in my university courses. It was a study done in the United States in the 1940s and was conducted on 40 newborn infants. I clearly remember that the objective was to determine whether individuals could thrive on basic physiological needs alone, without physical affection.

Twenty of the newborn infants were housed in a special facility where caregivers would enter the facility to feed them, bathe them, and change their diapers, but they would do nothing else. The caregivers had been instructed not to look at or touch the babies more than what was necessary and never communicate with them. All their physical needs were attended to scrupulously and the environment was kept sterile so as to prevent any of the babies from becoming ill.

The experiment was stopped after four months because by that time, at least half of the babies had died. More babies subsequently died even after being rescued and brought into natural familial environment. There was no physiological cause found for the deaths of these babies. They were all physically very healthy.

I specifically remember that one of the most disturbing facts was that before each baby died, there was a period of time where they would stop verbalizing and stop trying to engage with their caregivers. They would stop moving, stop crying, and stop changing their expression and death would follow shortly after. It was as if the babies had given up living before they died. This was the case even for the babies who died after being removed from the experimental conditions.

In today’s world, we are obsessed with technology. It’s hard to go anywhere and find people who are genuinely engaged with one another. Most people are fully engaged instead with a technological device. Their noses are buried in their computers or cell phones. And while social media has provided incredible opportunities to be connected with each other around the world, no matter where we are, social media only provides connection up to a degree. Physical connection cannot be replaced and its importance can’t be underestimated. We can’t get physical contact through a screen or from a distance. We need touch. We need vicinity. We need the comfort of being in physical contact with one another. And we must consider this when we are developing connections in our life.

The reality is that as humans, we need touch. Even the people, who are the most afraid of and hurt by human connection, need it. This is why the loneliest and most deeply hurt people experience so much torment. If we didn’t absolutely need touch and we were hurt by people, we would simply go on our merry way and never touch other people again. But we can’t. Instead, if we’ve been hurt by others, we spend our life in a torturous tug of war between the side of us that needs other people and the side that wants to be able to have nothing to do with them.

It is obvious that there are many ways we can be physically injured when it comes to touch and that this sets up a poor relationship to touch in general. But by far the majority of the pain we experience as people around touch is because of the emotional meaning we add to touch. People cannot stop adding meaning to touch and so touch is not touch for the sake of touch in our world. Instead touch is a tool. This meaning we add to touch destroys the purity of touch and makes it rather unsafe to touch each other.

For example, if your parent made you serve them and/or honor them through physical touch and there were consequences for not doing so, physical touch now means subservience and slavery and is no longer an organic expression of love. Touch is often used as a tool for manipulation and so when you touch someone, it may mean to him or her that you want something from them. If touch only ever meant that someone wanted sex, then touch will be interpreted solely as an emotional communicator that the person wants to have sex with you.

Meaning is added to touch and also the different types of touch in every race, culture, religion, society and family. For example, in American culture, if a guy slaps another guys butt in sports, it means encouragement. If a guy slaps another guys butt outside sports, it means he is gay. In Scandinavian cultures, you can’t touch a person of the opposite sex without it meaning that you want to be with them sexually or romantically. In Brazil, you can expect to be hugged and kissed by everyone even if you are a stranger. There is no physical bubble. It doesn’t mean anything other than friendliness and welcome.

Even in one culture, the way a touch is given changes the entire meaning. A softer handshake for example can mean a warm greeting whereas a firm handshake can mean ‘take me seriously’. There are differences in the societal acceptance around boys touching and girls touching. The powerless thing is that we can’t control the meaning that other people add to us touching them. And we add meaning that makes it not easy to just receive touch ourselves. Because of the complexity of the language of touch, touch seems so complicated; most of us end up in pain about it. We all end up touch deprived.

Humans need SO much more touch than they are getting across the world. In fact, purely biologically speaking, there is no single person who could provide enough touch for another person. Imagine a baby. When the baby is born, everyone who comes into contact with that baby, caresses the baby. The child in this healthy environment can run up and get a hug from mom one minute and the next sit on dads lap and the next, sit down and have their arm lightly stroked by grandma and the next, run hand in hand with their friend. In a healthy world, this would be how adults could live with each other in community as well. Obviously there are healthier cultures, communities and individuals than others in this respect.

If touch has been something that has led to pain for us, we need to work touch back into our lives slowly and with someone that we trust. Somatic therapy is one example of something we may need to do first before we can let people in our social circle provide touch for us in our day-to-day lives. It is to be expected that we would need to be rehabilitated if unloving touch was part of our wounding, as is so typical with abuse. But we do need this rehabilitation if we want to live lives where we genuinely feel connected to other people, at peace with the world and emotionally satiated.

When we are trying to satiate the need for touch, we need to stop suppressing this need within ourselves. We need to begin to look at touch as something that we do for touch sake. For example, we love petting a dog or cat for the sake of the pleasure of that touch in and of itself. It is a pure form of touch because it nourishes both the one touching and the one being touched. This is why it feels so safe for many of us to caress and be physically affectionate to an animal, but not a person. The communication is clear.

See, sense or feel that your body needs touch. Your skin and muscles and organs are starving for it. You are also starving for that form of communication emotionally. Some examples of nourishing types of touch are: 

Sitting with someone so we can feel their body against ours, 

holding, 

 
patting, 

 
gripping, 

 
rubbing, 

 
hugging, 

 
holding hands, 




gentle and comforting stroking, 

 
tickling, 
 

cuddling, 
 

massage, 
 

squeezing, 
 

pulling, 
Forehead against Forehead 
and 
kisses 

to name a few.

When we want touch from someone or initiate touch with someone, we can keep ourselves safe by getting very clear on the meaning of the touch before we do it and communicating with the other person about it. Essentially we must aim to take the room for interpretation out of it. Touch is one of the most powerful forms of primal emotional communication. We need that communication; the emotional message being conveyed through touch. But we also need touch in and of itself separate from a communication tool.

For the sake of your awareness, really ask yourself what meaning you specifically add to the different forms of touch. Where did you learn that meaning from? How does the meaning you add to touch differ from the meaning other people add to touch? Take a day and on that day, just watch people and how they touch. Take note of every time they touch and the meaning or communication being conveyed by that touch. Make a study of this form of communication.

Whenever you are experiencing touch or giving touch, ask yourself: What does this touch emotionally mean and what do I want it to mean? In this way, we make sure we are on the same page. It may seem less organic this way, but it is a necessary part of the rehabilitation. This makes touch safe to give and receive. And when you find yourself in a partnership, you will have to communicate about the meaning of touch as well in order to be on the same page so that touching other people outside the partnership is done in ways that makes both people feel satiated but also safe. Touch is something that creates jealousy in relationships faster than almost anything else.

As long as we are physical, there will not be a day when we don’t need touch from each other. Our sense of well-being is dependent upon us meeting this need for one another. We need to find opportunities for contact comfort and then we need to allow these experiences into our life. And we need to accept that it’s futile to fight against this aspect of our biology. If we can separate out the meaning of touch from the touch itself so as to clearly agree upon it and begin to touch each other for the sake of touch itself, we will create a healthier and more emotionally secure world to live in."




CLARA: 
Yeah. (big sigh
Tell you what, seeing as it's goodbye, shall we break a habit?

DOCTOR: 
What? What habit?

CLARA: 
Hug.

DOCTOR: 
Why not. Within reason.

(He stands up.)

DOCTOR: 
Come on, you're on the clock.

CLARA: 
Fair enough.

(So she stands and puts her arms around his neck, and he slowly puts his arms around her.)

CLARA: 
Why don't you like hugging, Doctor?

DOCTOR: 
Never trust a hug. 
It's just a way to hide your face.

CLARA: 
Yeah.