Oh God. We're Gonna Die, Aren't We?

WILLOW
I wanted to tell you. 
But I was so scared…

BUFFY
You can tell me anything, Willow.
I love you. You're my best friend.

WILLOW
Me too. I love you too.

They try to rappel closer to one another, hug. But it doesn't go very well. Instead they wait until they land on top of the elevator - and practically fall into each other's arms.

BUFFY
Let's promise to never not talk again -




WILLOW
I promise. I promise…

Now XANDER, who was following close behind them, lands on the elevator. Before he knows what hit him, Buffy and Willow are all over him with the hugs and kisses.

BUFFY
Xander!

WILLOW
Xander! 
Wonderful Xander!

Xander reacts with confusion - 
then, with mounting anxiety.
 

BUFFY
Xander - you know we love you, right?

WILLOW
We do. 

Totally.

XANDER
Oh god. We're gonna die, aren't we?

WILLOW
No - we just missed you.

The girls squeeze him even more tightly. 

Xander, sandwiched between his two hugging friends, finally goes with it and grins goofily… 

Looks up at the descending Giles.




 

XANDER
(calling up)
Giles, hurry up! 

You definitely want to get down here for this!

 [Klingon bridge]

(An altar of sorts has been set up.)

WORF: 
Jadzia Dax Vond Shoo vwee Dun Mahh kekh HuhKo Vahm Jeh Yin Moj Mah Mukh. Sto-vo-kor Pah Dahkh tin Baht leh el eegh cha yay moj.

(Worf is about to cut his palm when Quark enters.)

QUARK: Quark, son of Keldar. Did I come at a bad time?

O'BRIEN: What's he doing here?

QUARK: Same thing you are. I'm volunteering for this mission.

MARTOK: Why? You're a bartender, not a warrior.

QUARK: True, but I loved Jadzia as much as anyone in this room. With maybe one or two exceptions. And I am willing to pledge my life to see that she gets into Sto-vo-kor.

MARTOK: Perhaps there is some Klingon in you after all.

QUARK: I wouldn't go that far. So why all the cutlery?

MARTOK: We shed our blood to prove we are not frightened of death.

(Martok cuts his palm.)

QUARK: Can't you just take my word for it?

(So Martok cuts Quark's hand for him)

QUARK: Oww! That hurts.

O'BRIEN: It's supposed to hurt.

WORF: YuWee modge. Baht leh modge. Yay Dodge.

(Worf cuts his palm and places it on the bulkhead between the candles.)

[Klingon bridge]

O'BRIEN: Once we're close enough, we can fire an EM pulse at the sun.

QUARK: The sun? I thought we were trying to destroy a shipyard.

O'BRIEN: We are.

QUARK: Do you understand what he's talking about?

BASHIR: Always.

QUARK: Fine, then you explain it.

WORF: We are going to fly toward the molten heart of the sun, so close that our ship will glow like a flaming comet.

BASHIR: Hopefully not that close.

O'BRIEN: Just close enough to trigger a solar plasma ejection. The explosion should be enough to incinerate everything within a hundred million kilometres.

MARTOK: Including the shipyard.

WORF: It will be a glorious firestorm that will illuminate the gates of Sto-vo-kor itself and provide a fitting welcome for Jadzia.

QUARK: The things we do for love. Did you see that?

O'BRIEN: See what?

QUARK: The way he glared at me.

BASHIR: He always glares at you.

QUARK: Well I'm sick of it. We're risking our lives to help Jadzia get into Sto-vo-kor. The very least Worf could do is show us some appreciation. Is it so hard to say thank you?

BASHIR: Thank you.

QUARK: Nice try, Doctor, but I want to hear it from him.

O'BRIEN: Don't do this, Quark.

QUARK: Do what? All I'm asking for is two little words.

WORF: Be quiet.

QUARK: That's two words all right. Just not the two I was hoping for.

WORF: Why should I feel any gratitude toward you? I owe you nothing. You are not here to help Jadzia get into Sto-vo-kor. You are here because you wish to convince yourselves that you were worthy of her. But the truth is, none of you could ever hope to be worthy of her or even understand the kind of woman she was. It is you who should be thanking me, Ferengi, for allowing you to come on this mission and pay honour to her memory.

MARTOK: 
What about me, Worf? 
Would you rather I hadn't come on this mission either?

WORF: 
That is not what I am saying. 
With you, it is different. 
You are a Klingon and Jadzia was a member of your House.

MARTOK: 
And these men were her friends. 
They honour her with their presence.

(The non-Klingons enter.)

QUARK: I don't believe it. Gagh for breakfast, gagh for lunch, gagh for dinner. Am I the only one who thinks Klingon menus need to have more variety?

O'BRIEN: You want to complain about the gagh, that's fine with me. But don't complain about it when we're in the mess hall sitting at a table surrounded by a dozen Klingons.

QUARK: All right, all right, I get the point.

BASHIR: Good.

QUARK: But I'm telling you, I think some of those Klingons agreed with me.

BASHIR: Look, Worf, if this has anything to do with what just happened in the mess hall.

WORF: No, no, it does not.

QUARK: 

What's the matter? 

Come up with a few more insults to throw at us?

WORF: 
I wish to apologize.

QUARK: 

I'm listening.

WORF: I know Jadzia meant a great deal to all of you, and you meant a great deal to her. Many times, when we discussed our day, she would repeat something amusing that you had told her, or describe in endless details the intricacies of some new scheme of yours. She often talked about all of you. It seemed as though that even when we were alone, one of you was always with us.

QUARK: I get it. You were jealous because she liked us better than you.

BASHIR: Quark, would you please keep quiet.

WORF: She was my wife, my par'machkai. I did not like having to share her affections.

O'BRIEN: That's why you didn't want us on this mission with you. You wanted to get her into Sto-vo-kor without our help.

WORF: I wanted it to be my gift to her.

QUARK: Go on.

WORF: There is nothing more to say. Except that I am pleased you're here.

O'BRIEN: 

I have never heard Worf apologise to anyone.

QUARK: 

I don't know about you, but I was hoping for something a little more intriguing.

BASHIR: 

Such as?

QUARK: 

You know, like Jadzia used to call my name out when she slept, or wanted to name her first child after me.

The Dreamer and The Dream

'I want to quote for you, to you, from the oldest history book in Western Civilization. 

Not just because it's a book -

but I think this is a point one can make about any history course, it doesn't matter what the subject is. 

It can be Social History, Political History, Intellectual History, any history. 
It can be the History of Ancient Rome, it could be Post-1945 United States, it could be any history. 

But any history course ought to do the two things that Herodotus named in the opening sentence of the oldest history book we have. 

This is Herodotus, 
The History. 

Isn't it great when you're writing The First Book, 
what are you going to call it? 

The History; 

no subtitles, nothing fancy, just-- 

"I, Herodotus of Halicarnassus, am here setting forth my history, that time may not draw the color from what Man has brought into being, nor those great and wonderful deeds manifested by both the Greeks and the barbarians, fail of their report, and together, with all of this, the reason why they fought one another."

I don't know how closely you listened to that, but what has Herodotus just said? 

He's basically said 

History is two things. 

It's The Story, it's the color, it's the great deeds, it's the narrative that takes you somewhere; 

but it's also The Reason Why,

it's also the explanations. 

That's what history does. 

It's supposed to do both of those things. 


Destiny is Male,

Fate is Female

JOSEPH, 

Father of Ben :

I heard about Quentin Swofford. 

I'm sorry.

Benjamin SiSKO : 

Look, Dad, I know I haven't been very good company the last few days.

JOSEPH, 

Father of Ben : 

I didn't come here to be entertained. 

I came to see you and Jake.

Benjamin SiSKO : 

Well, you certainly picked an interesting time to take your first trip away from Earth.

JOSEPH, 

Father of Ben : 

Well, I figured it was now or never. 

Besides, I've been worried about you. 

Last couple of times we've talked it seemed like you were carrying the weight of the entire Alpha Quadrant on your shoulders.

Benjamin SiSKO : 

Sometimes it certainly feels that way, Dad.

JOSEPH, 

Father of Ben : 

Just say it, son.

Benjamin SiSKO : 

I don't know how much more I can take. 

I don't know how many more friends I can lose. 

Every time I achieve a real victory, something like this happens and everything seems to turn to ashes.

JOSEPH, 

Father of Ben : 

So what do you want to do?

Benjamin SiSKO : 

Maybe it's time for me to step down, let someone else make the tough calls.

JOSEPH, 

Father of Ben : 

I see. 

No one is indispensable, son. 

Not even you. 

Whatever decision you make, I'll support. 

Of course, if Quentin Swofford was here I'd bet he'd have a few things to say to you.

Benjamin SiSKO : 
But he's not here, 

and that's The Whole Point.

JOSEPH, 

Father of Ben : 

I'd say you have some thinking to do, 

and I've got a dinner date with my grandson,

so you'd better get to it.

[Magazine office]

KAY:
What about, 

It Came From Outer Space.

JULIUS:
It's a smashing title. 

Wish I'd thought of it.

(Benny is let in.)

HERBERT:
Hey, Benny. 

Long time no see.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
Is it here?

JULIUS:
Not yet. 

Pabst is still at the printers.

KAY:
We're waiting for his return with baited breath.

ALBERT:
We heard that you were

KAY:
We heard they beat the hell out of you.

BENNY,
Meaning 'Son of' : 

I'm okay.

ALBERT:
Glad to see that you're, you know, up and about.

DARLENE:
Tell him the good news, Albert.

ALBERT:
Oh, it's nothing.

KAY:
Nothing? 

He sells a novel to Gnome Press 

and he says it's nothing.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
A novel. Albert, congratulations!

ALBERT:
Thank you.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
Robots?

ALBERT:
What else?

(Pabst enters.)

JULIUS:
It's about time.

HERBERT:
Douglas? Magazine?

PABST:
There isn't any magazine. 

Not this month anyway. 

Mister Stone had the entire run pulped.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
He can't do that.

PABST: 

Oh, he can and he did. 

He believes, quote, 

‘This issue did not live up to our usual high standards’, 

unquote.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
What's that supposed to mean?

PABST:
It means he didn't like it. 

Which means the public will simply going to have to get along without any Incredible Tales this month.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
What exactly is it that he did not like? 

The artwork, the layout? 

What high standards is he talking about?

KAY:
Take it easy, Benny.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
No, it's about my story, isn't it? 

That's what this is all about. 

He didn't want to publish my story and we all know why. 

Because My Hero is a coloured man.

PABST:
Hey! This magazine belongs to Mister Stone. 

If he doesn't want to publish this month, 

we don't publish this month. 

End of story.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
That doesn't make it right and you know it.

PABST:
Don't tell me what I know. 

Besides, it's not about What's Right, it's about What Is. 

And I'm afraid I've got some more bad news for you, Benny. 

Mister Stone has decided that your services are no longer required here.

HERBERT:
What!

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
You're firing me?

PABST:
I have no choice, Benny. 

It's his decision.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
Well, you can't fire me. 

I quit. 

To hell with you, and to hell with Stone.

JULIUS:
Try to stay calm, Benny.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
No. I'm tired of being calm. 

Calm never gotten me a damn thing.

PABST:
I'm warning you, Benny. 

If you don't stop this I'm going to call The Police.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
You go ahead! Call them! 

Call anybody you want. 

They can't do anything to me. 

Not anymore. 

And nor can any of you. 

I am a Human Being, damn it. 

You can deny me all you want but you cannot deny Ben Sisko. 

He exists! 

That Future, that Space Station, all those people, they exist in here. 

In My Mind, I created it. 

And every one of you know it. 

You read it. 

It's here. 

You hear what I'm telling you? 

You can pulp A Story 

but you cannot destroy An Idea. 

Don't you understand? 

That's Ancient Knowledge. 

You cannot destroy An Idea. 

That Future, I created it, 

and it's Real. 

Don't you understand? 

It is Real! 

I created it and it's Real! 

It's Real! Oh, God.


(Benny collapses, sobbing.)

[New York Street]


AMBULANCE MAN:
Easy.

(Benny is wheeled out to a very old ambulance even by 1953 standards.)

AMBULANCE MAN:
One, two three.

[Ambulance]

(Benny is in Starfleet uniform. He puts on his glasses.)

PREACHER:
Rest easy, Brother Benny. 

You have walked in The Path of The  Prophets. 

There is no greater glory.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
Tell me, please. Who am I?

PREACHER:
Don't you know?

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
Tell me.

PREACHER:
You're The Dreamer and The Dream.

(There are stars streaking past the rear windows.) 




[Isolation Ward]


(Benny Russell has been writing on the walls of his padded cell)

WYKOFF:
I said, put down the pencil. Put it down, Mister Russell.


BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
But I haven't finished my story yet. Captain Sisko has found the Orb of the Emissary. 
But he hasn't opened it yet.

WYKOFF:
Mister Russell, you promised not to write on the walls.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
No one will give me any paper.

WYKOFF:
I thought we agreed that you weren't going to write at all. That you needed to rest.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
No, I don't need to rest. I need to tell my stories.

WYKOFF:
You were doing so well, Benny. 
Making real progress. 
We were all so proud of you.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
I need to go home. 

I don't belong here.

WYKOFF:
We're going to send you home as soon as you're well.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
I'm fine.

WYKOFF:
But you're not fine. 

People who are fine don't write on walls.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
Then get me a typewriter.

WYKOFF: 

You're not listening.
The stories have got to stop, Benny. 

They're too dangerous.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
Too dangerous to whom?

WYKOFF:
To you. This world you've created, this Deep Space Nine. Captain Sisko and Kira and the others. None of it is real.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
Oh, it is to me. 

If I don't finish My Story, if Captain Sisko doesn't open the Orb box, then he cannot contact the Prophets.

WYKOFF:
It doesn't matter, Benny. 

The Prophets don't exist either. 

They're all figments of your imagination. 

Get rid of them. 

It's the only way that you're going to get well. 

Now give me the pencil, Benny.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
But My Story!

WYKOFF:
It's over. Just let it go.


[Desert]

(Sisko is sitting with his hands on the box.)

EZRI DAX, 

or ENKIDU, The First Friend :
Benjamin, what are you waiting for? 

Open it. That's why we're here, right?

JAKE, 

Son of Ben Sisko :
He can't hear you.

(Jake puts his hands on his father's and is thrown backwards)

EZRI DAX, 

or ENKIDU, The First Friend :
Jake! Jake, are you all right?

JAKE, 

Son of Ben Sisko :
Yeah.


[Isolation Ward]

(The doctor is offering Benny a roller of white paint.)

WYKOFF:
Take it, Benny.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
What for?

WYKOFF:
I'm offering you an opportunity few people ever get. 
You can wipe away all your mistakes.

BENNY, 

Meaning 'Son of' :
You want me to paint over My Story?

WYKOFF:
They're only words.
Meaningless words that no one cares about.
Get rid of them and you can walk out of here a free man.

(The last line on the wall says 'Sisko reaches for the Orb box and...' )

WYKOFF:
Go ahead. 
Save yourself.

(Benny holds the paint roller close to the writing.)

[Desert]

EZRI DAX, 

or ENKIDU, The First Friend :
Ben?

Ben SISKO : 

Got to cover it up. 

Bury it.

EZRI DAX, 

or ENKIDU, The First Friend : 

Ben, what are you doing?

[Isolation Ward]

WYKOFF:
It's for your own good, Benny. 

Wipe away the words. 

Destroy them before they destroy you.

[Desert]

EZRI DAX, 

or ENKIDU, The First Friend :
Ben, stop.


(Sisko raises his shovel to smash down on the box.)

EZRI DAX, 

or ENKIDU, The First Friend :
No!

Ben SISKO : 

Get out of my way.

EZRI DAX, 

or ENKIDU, The First Friend :
Ben, you came here to find The Prophets, remember?

Ben SISKO :
Move!

EZRI DAX, 

or ENKIDU, 

The First Friend :
No, listen to me. 

You promised Jadzia you would make things right.

Well now is your chance. 

Open the box, Ben.

(Sisko raises the shovel, Benny holds the roller. They both drop them.)

[Isolation Ward]

WYKOFF:
No!

(Benny punches Wykoff and the male nurse, picks up his pencil and writes 'Opens it.')

[Desert]

(Sisko obeys. The glow of the crystal orb shoots of into space, then)

[Limbo]

(Sisko watches the energy shoots past DS9 and WHOOSH! the wormhole reopens.)


[Limbo]

Ben SISKO :
Show yourselves. 

I've come to speak with you.

[Sisko's restaurant]

(The baseball rolls off the piano and is picked up by)

SARAH, 

meaning 'My Princess' : 

The Sisko has completed His Task.

Ben SISKO : 

Sarah?

SARAH, 

meaning 'My Princess' :
The Kosst Amojan no longer threatens us.

Ben SISKO :
You mean the Pah wraith? 

It's no longer in the wormhole?

SARAH, 

meaning 'My Princess' :
I have cast it out.

Ben SISKO :
Is that why The Prophets sent me to Tyree? 

To release you from The Orb?

SARAH, 

meaning 'My Princess' :
The Kosst Amojan tried to stop you with a False Vision. 

But you did not waver. 

You fulfilled Your Destiny.

Ben SISKO :
My Destiny? 

You talk as if My Life was over.

SARAH, 

meaning 'My Princess' :
The Sisko must still face many Tasks.

Ben SISKO :
I don't suppose you'll tell me what they are.

[Sisko's restaurant - alley]

SARAH, 

meaning 'My Princess' :
The Emissary is Corporeal. Linear.

Ben SISKO :
Linear or not, I need some answers.

SARAH, 

meaning 'My Princess' :
The Sisko is intrusive.

Ben SISKO :
Are you Sarah Sisko? 

Are you My Mother?

SARAH, 

meaning 'My Princess' :
Sarah Sisko was corporeal. 

For a time, I shared her existence.

[Sisko's restaurant]

Ben SISKO :
You took over her body, made sure she married My Father so that she'd give birth to Me.

SARAH, 

meaning 'My Princess' :
The Sisko is Necessary.

Ben SISKO :
And once you didn't need her anymore, you left her. 

No wonder she walked out on My Father. 

She didn't chose him, you did.

SARAH, 

meaning 'My Princess' :
The Sisko would prefer different answers.

Ben SISKO :
What you're telling me isn't easy to accept. 

You arranged my birth. 

I exist because of you?

SARAH, 

meaning 'My Princess' :
The Sisko's Path is a difficult one.

Ben SISKO :
But Why Me? 

Why did it have to be Me?

SARAH, 

meaning 'My Princess' : 

Because it could be 

No One Else.

[Desert]

(Sisko closes the Orb box.)

EZRI DAX, 

or ENKIDU, The First Friend :
Benjamin? That must have been some Orb experience.

Ben SISKO :
I'll tell you about it someday.

 

The Soul of The King

He enters into My Body,

Gives away Cadillacs 

and then Departs.

Soul is not like breath or blood or bone and it can be taken in ways no man understands. 

 My grandfather had more soul than I have, and the young men have less than me. 

But I have enough soul to talk to Old Grandfather, who is a raccoon now. 

Once Upon a Time

In a nursery rhyme

There was a castle with a King

Hiding in a wing

'Cause he never went to school to learn a single thing

He had scepters and swords

And a parliament of lords

But on the inside he was sad

Egad!

Because he never had a wisdom for numbers

A wisdom for words

Though his crown was quite immense

His brain was smaller that a bird's

So the Queen of the Nation

Made a Royal Proclamation

"To the Missus and the Messers

The more or lessers

Bring me all the land's professors"

Then she went to the hair dressers

And they came from the east

And they came from the south

From each college they poured knowledge

From their brains into his mouth

But the king couldn't learn

So each professor met their fate

For the queen had their heads removed

And placed upon the gate

And on that date

I state their wives all got a note

Their mate was now the late-great

But then suddenly one day

A stranger started in to sing

He said "I'm the dirty rascal

And I'm here to teach the king"

And the queen clutched her jewels

For she hated royal fools

But this fool had some rules

They really ought to teach in schools

Like you'll be a happy king

If you enjoy the things you've got

You should never try to be

The kind of person that you're not

So they sang and they laughed

For the king had found a friend

And they ran onto a rainbow for

The story's perfect end

So the moral is you mustn't let

The outside be the guide

For it's not so cut and dried

Well unless it's Dr. Jekyll

Then you better hide

Petrified

No, The Truth can't be denied

As I now have testified

All that really counts and matters

Is the special stuff inside

Y Ddraig Goch

The Lord in heaven bless thee, noble Harry!
     

    Exeunt all but KING HENRY

KING HENRY V

    God-a-mercy, old heart! thou speak'st cheerfully.

    Enter PISTOL

PISTOL

    Qui va la?

KING HENRY V

    A friend.

PISTOL

    Discuss unto me; art thou officer?
    Or art thou base, common and popular?

KING HENRY V

    I am a gentleman of a company.

PISTOL

    Trail'st thou the puissant pike?

KING HENRY V

    Even so. What are you?

PISTOL

    As good a gentleman as the emperor.

KING HENRY V

    Then you are a better than the king.

PISTOL

    The king's a bawcock, and a heart of gold,
    A lad of life, an imp of fame;
    Of parents good, of fist most valiant.
    I kiss his dirty shoe, and from heart-string
    I love the lovely bully. What is thy name?

KING HENRY V

    Harry le Roy.

PISTOL

    Le Roy! a Cornish name: art thou of Cornish crew?

KING HENRY V

    No, I am a Welshman.

PISTOL

    Know'st thou Fluellen?

KING HENRY V

    Yes.

PISTOL

    Tell him, I'll knock his leek about his pate
    Upon Saint Davy's day.

KING HENRY V

    Do not you wear your dagger in your cap that day,
    lest he knock that about yours.

PISTOL

    Art thou his friend?

KING HENRY V

    And his kinsman too.

PISTOL

    The figo for thee, then!

KING HENRY V

    I thank you: God be with you!

PISTOL

    My name is Pistol call'd.

    Exit

KING HENRY V

    It sorts well with your fierceness.

    Enter FLUELLEN and GOWER

GOWER

    Captain Fluellen!

FLUELLEN

    So! in the name of Jesu Christ, speak lower. It is
    the greatest admiration of the universal world, when
    the true and aunchient prerogatifes and laws of the
    wars is not kept: if you would take the pains but to
    examine the wars of Pompey the Great, you shall
    find, I warrant you, that there is no tiddle toddle
    nor pibble pabble in Pompey's camp; I warrant you,
    you shall find the ceremonies of the wars, and the
    cares of it, and the forms of it, and the sobriety
    of it, and the modesty of it, to be otherwise.

GOWER

    Why, the enemy is loud; you hear him all night.

FLUELLEN

    If the enemy is an ass and a fool and a prating
    coxcomb, is it meet, think you, that we should also,
    look you, be an ass and a fool and a prating
    coxcomb? in your own conscience, now?

GOWER

    I will speak lower.

FLUELLEN

    I pray you and beseech you that you will.

    Exeunt GOWER and FLUELLEN

KING HENRY V

    Though it appear a little out of fashion,
    There is much care and valour in this Welshman.

    Enter three soldiers, JOHN BATES, ALEXANDER COURT, and MICHAEL WILLIAMS

COURT

    Brother John Bates, is not that the morning which
    breaks yonder?

BATES

    I think it be: but we have no great cause to desire
    the approach of day.

WILLIAMS

    We see yonder the beginning of the day, but I think
    we shall never see the end of it. Who goes there?

KING HENRY V

    A friend.

WILLIAMS

    Under what captain serve you?

KING HENRY V

    Under Sir Thomas Erpingham.

WILLIAMS

    A good old commander and a most kind gentleman: I
    pray you, what thinks he of our estate?

KING HENRY V

    Even as men wrecked upon a sand, that look to be
    washed off the next tide.

BATES

    He hath not told his thought to the king?

KING HENRY V

    No; nor it is not meet he should. For, though I
    speak it to you, I think the king is but a man, as I
    am: the violet smells to him as it doth to me: the
    element shows to him as it doth to me; all his
    senses have but human conditions: his ceremonies
    laid by, in his nakedness he appears but a man; and
    though his affections are higher mounted than ours,
    yet, when they stoop, they stoop with the like
    wing. Therefore when he sees reason of fears, as we
    do, his fears, out of doubt, be of the same relish
    as ours are: yet, in reason, no man should possess
    him with any appearance of fear, lest he, by showing
    it, should dishearten his army.

BATES

    He may show what outward courage he will; but I
    believe, as cold a night as 'tis, he could wish
    himself in Thames up to the neck; and so I would he
    were, and I by him, at all adventures, so we were quit here.

KING HENRY V

    By my troth, I will speak my conscience of the king:
    I think he would not wish himself any where but
    where he is.

BATES

    Then I would he were here alone; so should he be
    sure to be ransomed, and a many poor men's lives saved.

KING HENRY V

    I dare say you love him not so ill, to wish him here
    alone, howsoever you speak this to feel other men's
    minds: methinks I could not die any where so
    contented as in the king's company; his cause being
    just and his quarrel honourable.

WILLIAMS

    That's more than we know.

BATES

    Ay, or more than we should seek after; for we know
    enough, if we know we are the kings subjects: if
    his cause be wrong, our obedience to the king wipes
    the crime of it out of us.

WILLIAMS

    But if the cause be not good, the king himself hath
    a heavy reckoning to make, when all those legs and
    arms and heads, chopped off in battle, shall join
    together at the latter day and cry all 'We died at
    such a place;' some swearing, some crying for a
    surgeon, some upon their wives left poor behind
    them, some upon the debts they owe, some upon their
    children rawly left. I am afeard there are few die
    well that die in a battle; for how can they
    charitably dispose of any thing, when blood is their
    argument? Now, if these men do not die well, it
    will be a black matter for the king that led them to
    it; whom to disobey were against all proportion of
    subjection.

KING HENRY V

    So, if a son that is by his father sent about
    merchandise do sinfully miscarry upon the sea, the
    imputation of his wickedness by your rule, should be
    imposed upon his father that sent him: or if a
    servant, under his master's command transporting a
    sum of money, be assailed by robbers and die in
    many irreconciled iniquities, you may call the
    business of the master the author of the servant's
    damnation: but this is not so: the king is not
    bound to answer the particular endings of his
    soldiers, the father of his son, nor the master of
    his servant; for they purpose not their death, when
    they purpose their services. Besides, there is no
    king, be his cause never so spotless, if it come to
    the arbitrement of swords, can try it out with all
    unspotted soldiers: some peradventure have on them
    the guilt of premeditated and contrived murder;
    some, of beguiling virgins with the broken seals of
    perjury; some, making the wars their bulwark, that
    have before gored the gentle bosom of peace with
    pillage and robbery. Now, if these men have
    defeated the law and outrun native punishment,
    though they can outstrip men, they have no wings to
    fly from God: war is his beadle, war is vengeance;
    so that here men are punished for before-breach of
    the king's laws in now the king's quarrel: where
    they feared the death, they have borne life away;
    and where they would be safe, they perish: then if
    they die unprovided, no more is the king guilty of
    their damnation than he was before guilty of those
    impieties for the which they are now visited. Every
    subject's duty is the king's; but every subject's
    soul is his own. Therefore should every soldier in
    the wars do as every sick man in his bed, wash every
    mote out of his conscience: and dying so, death
    is to him advantage; or not dying, the time was
    blessedly lost wherein such preparation was gained:
    and in him that escapes, it were not sin to think
    that, making God so free an offer, He let him
    outlive that day to see His greatness and to teach
    others how they should prepare.

WILLIAMS

    'Tis certain, every man that dies ill, the ill upon
    his own head, the king is not to answer it.

BATES

    But I do not desire he should answer for me; and
    yet I determine to fight lustily for him.

KING HENRY V

    I myself heard the king say he would not be ransomed.

WILLIAMS

    Ay, he said so, to make us fight cheerfully: but
    when our throats are cut, he may be ransomed, and we
    ne'er the wiser.

KING HENRY V

    If I live to see it, I will never trust his word after.

WILLIAMS

    You pay him then. That's a perilous shot out of an
    elder-gun, that a poor and private displeasure can
    do against a monarch! you may as well go about to
    turn the sun to ice with fanning in his face with a
    peacock's feather. You'll never trust his word
    after! come, 'tis a foolish saying.

KING HENRY V

    Your reproof is something too round: I should be
    angry with you, if the time were convenient.

WILLIAMS

    Let it be a quarrel between us, if you live.

KING HENRY V

    I embrace it.

WILLIAMS

    How shall I know thee again?

KING HENRY V

    Give me any gage of thine, and I will wear it in my
    bonnet: then, if ever thou darest acknowledge it, I
    will make it my quarrel.

WILLIAMS

    Here's my glove: give me another of thine.

KING HENRY V

    There.

WILLIAMS

    This will I also wear in my cap: if ever thou come
    to me and say, after to-morrow, 'This is my glove,'
    by this hand, I will take thee a box on the ear.

KING HENRY V

    If ever I live to see it, I will challenge it.

WILLIAMS

    Thou darest as well be hanged.

KING HENRY V

    Well. I will do it, though I take thee in the
    king's company.

WILLIAMS

    Keep thy word: fare thee well.

BATES

    Be friends, you English fools, be friends: we have
    French quarrels enow, if you could tell how to reckon.

KING HENRY V

    Indeed, the French may lay twenty French crowns to
    one, they will beat us; for they bear them on their
    shoulders: but it is no English treason to cut
    French crowns, and to-morrow the king himself will
    be a clipper.

    Exeunt soldiers
    Upon the king! let us our lives, our souls,
    Our debts, our careful wives,
    Our children and our sins lay on the king!
    We must bear all. O hard condition,
    Twin-born with greatness, subject to the breath
    Of every fool, whose sense no more can feel
    But his own wringing! What infinite heart's-ease
    Must kings neglect, that private men enjoy!
    And what have kings, that privates have not too,
    Save ceremony, save general ceremony?
    And what art thou, thou idle ceremony?
    What kind of god art thou, that suffer'st more
    Of mortal griefs than do thy worshippers?
    What are thy rents? what are thy comings in?
    O ceremony, show me but thy worth!
    What is thy soul of adoration?
    Art thou aught else but place, degree and form,
    Creating awe and fear in other men?
    Wherein thou art less happy being fear'd
    Than they in fearing.
    What drink'st thou oft, instead of homage sweet,
    But poison'd flattery? O, be sick, great greatness,
    And bid thy ceremony give thee cure!
    Think'st thou the fiery fever will go out
    With titles blown from adulation?
    Will it give place to flexure and low bending?
    Canst thou, when thou command'st the beggar's knee,
    Command the health of it? No, thou proud dream,
    That play'st so subtly with a king's repose;
    I am a king that find thee, and I know
    'Tis not the balm, the sceptre and the ball,
    The sword, the mace, the crown imperial,
    The intertissued robe of gold and pearl,
    The farced title running 'fore the king,
    The throne he sits on, nor the tide of pomp
    That beats upon the high shore of this world,
    No, not all these, thrice-gorgeous ceremony,
    Not all these, laid in bed majestical,
    Can sleep so soundly as the wretched slave,
    Who with a body fill'd and vacant mind
    Gets him to rest, cramm'd with distressful bread;
    Never sees horrid night, the child of hell,
    But, like a lackey, from the rise to set
    Sweats in the eye of Phoebus and all night
    Sleeps in Elysium; next day after dawn,
    Doth rise and help Hyperion to his horse,
    And follows so the ever-running year,
    With profitable labour, to his grave:
    And, but for ceremony, such a wretch,
    Winding up days with toil and nights with sleep,
    Had the fore-hand and vantage of a king.
    The slave, a member of the country's peace,
    Enjoys it; but in gross brain little wots
    What watch the king keeps to maintain the peace,
    Whose hours the peasant best advantages.

    Enter ERPINGHAM

ERPINGHAM

    My lord, your nobles, jealous of your absence,
    Seek through your camp to find you.

KING HENRY V

    Good old knight,
    Collect them all together at my tent:
    I'll be before thee.

ERPINGHAM

    I shall do't, my lord.

    Exit

KING HENRY V

    O God of battles! steel my soldiers' hearts;
    Possess them not with fear; take from them now
    The sense of reckoning, if the opposed numbers
    Pluck their hearts from them. Not to-day, O Lord,
    O, not to-day, think not upon the fault
    My father made in compassing the crown!
    I Richard's body have interred anew;
    And on it have bestow'd more contrite tears
    Than from it issued forced drops of blood:
    Five hundred poor I have in yearly pay,
    Who twice a-day their wither'd hands hold up
    Toward heaven, to pardon blood; and I have built
    Two chantries, where the sad and solemn priests
    Sing still for Richard's soul. More will I do;
    Though all that I can do is nothing worth,
    Since that my penitence comes after all,
    Imploring pardon.

    Enter GLOUCESTER

GLOUCESTER

    My liege!

KING HENRY V

    My brother Gloucester's voice? Ay;
    I know thy errand, I will go with thee:
    The day, my friends and all things stay for me.

    Exeunt



KING HENRY V

    I tell thee truly, herald,
    I know not if the day be ours or no;
    For yet a many of your horsemen peer
    And gallop o'er the field.

MONTJOY

    The day is yours.

KING HENRY V

    Praised be God, and not our strength, for it!
    What is this castle call'd that stands hard by?

MONTJOY

    They call it Agincourt.

KING HENRY V

    Then call we this the field of Agincourt,
    Fought on the day of Crispin Crispianus.

FLUELLEN

    Your grandfather of famous memory, an't please your
    majesty, and your great-uncle Edward the Plack
    Prince of Wales, as I have read in the chronicles,
    fought a most prave pattle here in France.

KING HENRY V

    They did, Fluellen.

FLUELLEN

    Your majesty says very true: if your majesties is
    remembered of it, the Welshmen did good service in a
    garden where leeks did grow, wearing leeks in their
    Monmouth caps; which, your majesty know, to this
    hour is an honourable badge of the service; and I do
    believe your majesty takes no scorn to wear the leek
    upon Saint Tavy's day.

KING HENRY V

    I wear it for a memorable honour;
    For I am Welsh, you know, good countryman.

FLUELLEN

    All the water in Wye cannot wash your majesty's
    Welsh plood out of your pody, I can tell you that:
    God pless it and preserve it, as long as it pleases
    his grace, and his majesty too!

KING HENRY V

    Thanks, good my countryman.

FLUELLEN

    By Jeshu, I am your majesty's countryman, I care not
    who know it; I will confess it to all the 'orld: I
    need not to be ashamed of your majesty, praised be
    God, so long as your majesty is an honest man.

KING HENRY V

    God keep me so! Our heralds go with him:
    Bring me just notice of the numbers dead
    On both our parts. Call yonder fellow hither.

    Points to WILLIAMS. Exeunt Heralds with Montjoy

EXETER

    Soldier, you must come to the king.

KING HENRY V

    Soldier, why wearest thou that glove in thy cap?

WILLIAMS

    An't please your majesty, 'tis the gage of one that
    I should fight withal, if he be alive.

KING HENRY V

    An Englishman?

WILLIAMS

    An't please your majesty, a rascal that swaggered
    with me last night; who, if alive and ever dare to
    challenge this glove, I have sworn to take him a box
    o' th' ear: or if I can see my glove in his cap,
    which he swore, as he was a soldier, he would wear
    if alive, I will strike it out soundly.

KING HENRY V

    What think you, Captain Fluellen? is it fit this
    soldier keep his oath?

FLUELLEN

    He is a craven and a villain else, an't please your
    majesty, in my conscience.

KING HENRY V

    It may be his enemy is a gentleman of great sort,
    quite from the answer of his degree.

FLUELLEN

    Though he be as good a gentleman as the devil is, as
    Lucifer and Belzebub himself, it is necessary, look
    your grace, that he keep his vow and his oath: if
    he be perjured, see you now, his reputation is as
    arrant a villain and a Jacksauce, as ever his black
    shoe trod upon God's ground and his earth, in my
    conscience, la!

KING HENRY V

    Then keep thy vow, sirrah, when thou meetest the fellow.

WILLIAMS

    So I will, my liege, as I live.

KING HENRY V

    Who servest thou under?

WILLIAMS

    Under Captain Gower, my liege.

FLUELLEN

    Gower is a good captain, and is good knowledge and
    literatured in the wars.

KING HENRY V

    Call him hither to me, soldier.

WILLIAMS

    I will, my liege.

    Exit

KING HENRY V

    Here, Fluellen; wear thou this favour for me and
    stick it in thy cap: when Alencon and myself were
    down together, I plucked this glove from his helm:
    if any man challenge this, he is a friend to
    Alencon, and an enemy to our person; if thou
    encounter any such, apprehend him, an thou dost me love.

FLUELLEN

    Your grace doo's me as great honours as can be
    desired in the hearts of his subjects: I would fain
    see the man, that has but two legs, that shall find
    himself aggrieved at this glove; that is all; but I
    would fain see it once, an please God of his grace
    that I might see.

KING HENRY V

    Knowest thou Gower?

FLUELLEN

    He is my dear friend, an please you.

KING HENRY V

    Pray thee, go seek him, and bring him to my tent.

FLUELLEN

    I will fetch him.

    Exit

KING HENRY V

    My Lord of Warwick, and my brother Gloucester,
    Follow Fluellen closely at the heels:
    The glove which I have given him for a favour
    May haply purchase him a box o' th' ear;
    It is the soldier's; I by bargain should
    Wear it myself. Follow, good cousin Warwick:
    If that the soldier strike him, as I judge
    By his blunt bearing he will keep his word,
    Some sudden mischief may arise of it;
    For I do know Fluellen valiant
    And, touched with choler, hot as gunpowder,
    And quickly will return an injury:
    Follow and see there be no harm between them.
    Go you with me, uncle of Exeter.

    Exeunt




SCENE I. France. The English camp.

    Enter FLUELLEN and GOWER

GOWER

    Nay, that's right; but why wear you your leek today?
    Saint Davy's day is past.

FLUELLEN

    There is occasions and causes why and wherefore in
    all things: I will tell you, asse my friend,
    Captain Gower: the rascally, scald, beggarly,
    lousy, pragging knave, Pistol, which you and
    yourself and all the world know to be no petter
    than a fellow, look you now, of no merits, he is
    come to me and prings me pread and salt yesterday,
    look you, and bid me eat my leek: it was in place
    where I could not breed no contention with him; but
    I will be so bold as to wear it in my cap till I see
    him once again, and then I will tell him a little
    piece of my desires.

    Enter PISTOL

GOWER

    Why, here he comes, swelling like a turkey-cock.

FLUELLEN

    'Tis no matter for his swellings nor his
    turkey-cocks. God pless you, Aunchient Pistol! you
    scurvy, lousy knave, God pless you!

PISTOL

    Ha! art thou bedlam? dost thou thirst, base Trojan,
    To have me fold up Parca's fatal web?
    Hence! I am qualmish at the smell of leek.

FLUELLEN

    I peseech you heartily, scurvy, lousy knave, at my
    desires, and my requests, and my petitions, to eat,
    look you, this leek: because, look you, you do not
    love it, nor your affections and your appetites and
    your digestions doo's not agree with it, I would
    desire you to eat it.

PISTOL

    Not for Cadwallader and all his goats.

FLUELLEN

    There is one goat for you.

    Strikes him
    Will you be so good, scauld knave, as eat it?

PISTOL

    Base Trojan, thou shalt die.

FLUELLEN

    You say very true, scauld knave, when God's will is:
    I will desire you to live in the mean time, and eat
    your victuals: come, there is sauce for it.

    Strikes him
    You called me yesterday mountain-squire; but I will
    make you to-day a squire of low degree. I pray you,
    fall to: if you can mock a leek, you can eat a leek.

GOWER

    Enough, captain: you have astonished him.

FLUELLEN

    I say, I will make him eat some part of my leek, or
    I will peat his pate four days. Bite, I pray you; it
    is good for your green wound and your ploody coxcomb.

PISTOL

    Must I bite?

FLUELLEN

    Yes, certainly, and out of doubt and out of question
    too, and ambiguities.

PISTOL

    By this leek, I will most horribly revenge: I eat
    and eat, I swear--

FLUELLEN

    Eat, I pray you: will you have some more sauce to
    your leek? there is not enough leek to swear by.

PISTOL

    Quiet thy cudgel; thou dost see I eat.

FLUELLEN

    Much good do you, scauld knave, heartily. Nay, pray
    you, throw none away; the skin is good for your
    broken coxcomb. When you take occasions to see leeks
    hereafter, I pray you, mock at 'em; that is all.

PISTOL

    Good.

FLUELLEN

    Ay, leeks is good: hold you, there is a groat to
    heal your pate.

PISTOL

    Me a groat!

FLUELLEN

    Yes, verily and in truth, you shall take it; or I
    have another leek in my pocket, which you shall eat.

PISTOL

    I take thy groat in earnest of revenge.

FLUELLEN

    If I owe you any thing, I will pay you in cudgels:
    you shall be a woodmonger, and buy nothing of me but
    cudgels. God b' wi' you, and keep you, and heal your pate.

    Exit

PISTOL

    All hell shall stir for this.

GOWER

    Go, go; you are a counterfeit cowardly knave. Will
    you mock at an ancient tradition, begun upon an
    honourable respect, and worn as a memorable trophy of
    predeceased valour and dare not avouch in your deeds
    any of your words? I have seen you gleeking and
    galling at this gentleman twice or thrice. You
    thought, because he could not speak English in the
    native garb, he could not therefore handle an
    English cudgel: you find it otherwise; and
    henceforth let a Welsh correction teach you a good
    English condition. Fare ye well.

    Exit

PISTOL

    Doth Fortune play the huswife with me now?
    News have I, that my Nell is dead i' the spital
    Of malady of France;
    And there my rendezvous is quite cut off.
    Old I do wax; and from my weary limbs
    Honour is cudgelled. Well, bawd I'll turn,
    And something lean to cutpurse of quick hand.
    To England will I steal, and there I'll steal:
    And patches will I get unto these cudgell'd scars,
    And swear I got them in the Gallia wars.

    Exit