Thursday, 2 November 2023

The Lord of the Dance

Rev. - The Lord of the Dance






Angel and Lorne are hitching a ride on the back 
of one of the pasty faced villager's donkey carts. 

They jump off as the cart passes in front 
of the dwelling of Lorne's Family. 

Lorne
Boy. I'd give my left horn 
to not have to do this.

We see a group of Lorne's relatives, apparently engaged 
in some kind of horse play, in front of their dwelling. 

Lorne
Hi-de-ho!

The big figure in the middle of the gathering 
turns around to look towards them. 
Unlike the other demons of Lorne's kind 
we've seen so far, this one sports 
a full beard in addition to the 
usual attributes of his race. 

Lorne
Guess who's back.

Bearded-Demon : 
Krevlorneswath

Can it be True
I've often prayed that 
I might look again 
upon your face.

Lorne: 
Well, you're in luck then.

The bearded demon spits 
in Lorne's face. 

Bearded-Demon
You have shamed Our Clan 
and betrayed your kind.

Lorne dabs at the spit with a handkerchief. 

Lorne
Thanks, Mom.

Angel's head snaps up 
and he mouths 'Mom?' 

Mom
Each morning before I feed I go out into the hills 
where the ground is thorny and parched
beat my breast and curse the loins that 
gave birth to such a cretinous boy-child!

Lorne (spreading his hands) : 
My Mother.

Mom : 
Your Father was right
We ate the wrong son.

Lorne
Well, enough of this sentimental reminiscing. 
Just a couple of quick questions, then I'll skeddadle. 
You remember back around five years ago 
when I first disappeared - Did you 
notice anything - odd?

Mom
We noticed feasting and celebrations
Your Brother Numfar Did the Dance of Joy 
for three moons --

Numfar! Do the 
Dance of Joy.

Numfar (who is, btw played by none other 
but Joss Whedon himself) starts some 
weird dance routine, which includes some kicks and hops 
as well as tapping himself repeatedly on the head. 



Lorne: 
Actually what I meant was more along the lines of 
a strange flashing, kind of a weird pulsating... 
(aside to Angel) You remember when I said 
We Didn't have Music in My World? 
Wish I could say the same 
about The Dancing. 
(Back to his mom) …lights. Really you couldn't 
have missed it. Big, bendy, swirly...

Mom
No longer Do the Dance 
of Joy, Numfar!

Lorne: "Nothing like that at all then." 

Mom: "Now take your cow and get off my lawn!" 

Landok: "That is no cow." 

Landok pushed Lorne rudely out of the way and claps Angel on the shoulder. 

Landok: "My friend! It is good to see you again. I would have perished in your strange world were it not for your bravery." 

Angel shifts on his feet and throws a look over at Lorne. 

Mom: "You know Krevlorneswath's cow?" 

Landok: "He's Angel! The brave and noble drokken k*ller." 

Angel: "Just Angel is really..." 

Landok: "He is as valiant and courageous a warrior as I have ever known." 

Mom: "Then he shall be welcome in our home and we shall will him. (Lorne's mouth drops open) Numfar! Do the dance of honor." 

Numfar launches into another series of leaps and gestures, including the bunny-hop. 

Lorne: "Landok, hi. Say, the drokken k*ller and I have a few itty-bitty portal queries and then we'll..." 

Two relatives come up and pull Angel's coat off. 

Landok: "We shall adorn my gallant friend in raiments befitting a warrior, that our neighbors may know of his valor." 

Angel watching them take his coat into the house: "Uh, guys - no wire hanger because that's leather!" 

Two other are dropping a necklace around his neck and drape an elaborate cape over his shoulders. 

Angel: "Oh. Guys, hey, - all this isn't really... (Another relative holds a mirror up in front of him) Nice! He-hey!" 

Looks over at Lorne while adjusting the cape. 

Landok: "Come! You will be our guest of honor at the village feast. There you will tell the tale of your bravery and courage against the vicious drokken." 

Landok leads a smiling Angel away. 

Angel: "Hey, now, about the hair - do you think that..." 

Lorne shakes his head and looks over at Numfar, still hopping around. 

Lorne: "Why, it's the homecoming I always dreamed of." 

Follows the others, leaving the dancing Numfar behind. 

Henry













Henry
If you shoot someone in the head with a .45 
every time you kill somebody, it becomes 
like your fingerprint, see? 
But if you strangle one, stab another, 
and one you cut up, and one you don't
then The Police don't know what to do. 
They think you're four different people
What they really want, what makes their job 
so much easier, is pattern
What they call a modus operandi. That's Latin. 
Bet you didn't know any Latin, did you kid?

Otis
Big fucking deal.

Henry
What?

Otis
Nothing.

Henry
It's like a trail of shit, Otis. 
It's like the blood droppings from a deer you shot, 
and all they've got to do is follow those droppings
and pretty soon, they're going to find their deer.

Otis
So, what, you can’t use a gun?

Henry
You can use a gun. 
I'm not saying you can't use a gun. 
Just don't use the same gun twice.

Otis: Where you going?
Henry: Nowhere - you wanna come?

Becky: 
Did you really kill your mama?
Henry: 
Huh?
Becky: 
Did you really kill your mama?
Henry: I guess I did.
Becky: How'd it happen?
Henry: I stabbed her.
Becky: Otis said you hit her with a baseball bat.
Henry: Otis said that?
Becky: Yeah.
Henry: Well, he's mistaken.
Becky: Well don't tell him I told you. He made me promise...she must have treated you real bad.
Henry: 
She was a whore. My mama was a whore. 
But I don't fault her for that. 
It ain't what she done, 
but how she done it. 
Long as I can remember, 
she'd bring men up to the house. 
My daddy was there too, but 
it didn't matter none to her. 
She'd make me watch.

Becky: That's creepy.
Henry: She'd beat me too. A lot. She'd beat me when I wouldn't watch it. And sometimes she'd beat me, and make me wear a dress, and watch her doin' it. Then they'd laugh at me.
Becky: She made you wear a dress?
Henry: 
You think I'm lyin?
Becky: 
I feel like I know you, like 
I've known you for a long time. 
I feel like I've known you 
forever and ever.

Henry: 
Yeah. I killed my mama. One night. 
It was my 14th birthday. She was drunk, 
and we had an argument. 
She hit me with a whiskey bottle. 
I shot her. I shot her dead.

Becky: 
I thought you said 
you stabbed her.

Henry: 
Oh yeah, that's right, 
I stabbed her.

Sunday, 29 October 2023

You Wage War on Your Self




Vader
You Did Well. You’re A Warrior 
now, as I trained You to Be.

Ahsoka :
(SCOFFS) Is that all?

Vader :
Ahsoka, within you will 
be everything I am.

All The Knowledge I possess.

Just as I inherited knowledge 
from My Master and he from his.
You’re part of A Legacy.

Ahsoka
But MY part of that Legacy 
is one of Death and War.

Vader
But You’re MORE than that, 
because I’m more than that.

Ahsoka
You ARE more, Anakin.
But more Powerful and Dangerous 
than anyone realised.

Vader
Is THAT what this is about?

Ahsoka
If I am everything You are…

Vader
You’ve learned nothing.

Ahsoka
Don’t say that.

Vader
Back to The Beginning

I Gave You A Choice
Liveor DIE.

Ahsoka
No.

Vader
Incorrect.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(LIGHTSABERS CLASHING)

(GRUNTING)

(GRIMACING)

(SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

(VADER BREATHING)

Vader
You Lack Conviction.

(STRAINING AND GRUNTING)

(LIGHTSABERS CRACKLING)

Time to Die.

(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

Ahsoka
I Choose to Live.

Vader : (Walks away)
 There’s Hope for You yet.

Saturday, 28 October 2023

Hunger City




Because here’s something else that’s weird but true : 
in the day-to-day trenches of adult life, 
there is actually no such thing as atheism
There is no such thing 
as not worshipping. 

Everybody worships. 

The only choice we get 
is WHAT to worship. 
And the compelling reason for 
maybe choosing some sort of god or 
spiritual-type thing to worship – 
be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH 
or the Wiccan Mother Goddess,
 or the Four Noble Truthsor 
some inviolable set of ethical principles – 
is that pretty much
anything else you worship 
will EAT You ALIVE.




Stay home, city boy
With that television
Warm synthetic light
Keep your mind off real life
Oh, stick to Television

I can make it 
here in Hunger City
Nothings gonna stop me
I Know I'll Survive
I can take it 
here in Hunger City
Even though 
they'll eat me
Just to Stay Alive
Hunger City



So the day folds into night
And you slide down in your easy chair
Blue cosmetic lights
Beamed to you by satellite
Call you to the shelter

I can make it here in hunger city
Nothings gonna stop me
I know I'll survive
I can take it here in hunger city
Even though they'll eat me
Just to stay alive
Hunger city

Solo

I can make it here in hunger city
Even though they'll eat me
Just to stay alive
Hunger city

Like a poison lullabye
Pump pump pump inside your head
Momma's pride and joy
Ha, slithers down The Drain instead
Fast food for The Mutants

I can make it here in Hunger City —
Nothings gonna stop me
I know I'll survive
I can take it here in hunger city
Even though they'll eat me
Just to stay alive
Hunger city
In hunger city
Hunger city

Friday, 27 October 2023

The Caine Mutiny










The Crocodile passed him, but not another living thing, not a sound, not a movement; and yet he knew well that sudden death might be at the next tree, or stalking him from behind.


He swore this terrible oath: “Hook or me this time.


Now he crawled forward like a snake, and again erect, he darted across a space on which the moonlight played, one finger on his lip and his dagger at the ready. He was frightfully happy.

Chapter XIV.
THE PIRATE SHIP

One green light squinting over Kidd’s Creek, which is near the mouth of the pirate river, marked where the brig, the Jolly Roger, lay, low in the water; a rakish-looking craft foul to the hull, every beam in her detestable, like ground strewn with mangled feathers. She was the cannibal of the seas, and scarce needed that watchful eye, for she floated immune in the horror of her name.

She was wrapped in the blanket of night, through which no sound from her could have reached the shore. There was little sound, and none agreeable save the whir of the ship’s sewing machine at which Smee sat, ever industrious and obliging, the essence of the commonplace, pathetic Smee. I know not why he was so infinitely pathetic, unless it were because he was so pathetically unaware of it; but even strong men had to turn hastily from looking at him, and more than once on summer evenings he had touched the fount of Hook’s tears and made it flow. Of this, as of almost everything else, Smee was quite unconscious.


A few of the pirates leant over the bulwarks, drinking in the miasma of the night; others sprawled by barrels over games of dice and cards; and the exhausted four who had carried the little house lay prone on the deck, where even in their sleep they rolled skillfully to this side or that out of Hook’s reach, lest he should claw them mechanically in passing.


Hook trod the deck in thought. O man unfathomable. It was his hour of triumph. Peter had been removed for ever from his path, and all the other boys were in the brig, about to walk the plank. It was his grimmest deed since the days when he had brought Barbecue to heel; and knowing as we do how vain a tabernacle is man, could we be surprised had he now paced the deck unsteadily, bellied out by the winds of his success?


But there was no elation in his gait, which kept pace with the action of his sombre mind. Hook was profoundly dejected.


He was often thus when communing with himself on board ship in the quietude of the night. It was because he was so terribly alone. This inscrutable man never felt more alone than when surrounded by his dogs. They were socially inferior to him.


Hook was not his true name. To reveal who he really was would even at this date set the country in a blaze; but as those who read between the lines must already have guessed, he had been at a famous public school; and its traditions still clung to him like garments, with which indeed they are largely concerned. Thus it was offensive to him even now to board a ship in the same dress in which he grappled her, and he still adhered in his walk to the school’s distinguished slouch. But above all he retained the passion for good form.


Good form! However much he may have degenerated, he still knew that this is all that really matters.


From far within him he heard a creaking as of rusty portals, and through them came a stern tap-tap-tap, like hammering in the night when one cannot sleep. “Have you been good form to-day?” was their eternal question.


“Fame, fame, that glittering bauble, it is mine,” he cried.


“Is it quite good form to be distinguished at anything?” the tap-tap from his school replied.


“I am the only man whom Barbecue feared,” he urged, “and Flint feared Barbecue.”


“Barbecue, Flint—what house?” came the cutting retort.


Most disquieting reflection of all, was it not bad form to think about good form?


His vitals were tortured by this problem. It was a claw within him sharper than the iron one; and as it tore him, the perspiration dripped down his tallow countenance and streaked his doublet. Ofttimes he drew his sleeve across his face, but there was no damming that trickle.


Ah, envy not Hook.


There came to him a presentiment of his early dissolution. It was as if Peter’s terrible oath had boarded the ship. Hook felt a gloomy desire to make his dying speech, lest presently there should be no time for it.


“Better for Hook,” he cried, “if he had had less ambition!” It was in his darkest hours only that he referred to himself in the third person.


“No little children to love me!”


Strange that he should think of this, which had never troubled him before; perhaps the sewing machine brought it to his mind. For long he muttered to himself, staring at Smee, who was hemming placidly, under the conviction that all children feared him.


Feared him! Feared Smee! There was not a child on board the brig that night who did not already love him. He had said horrid things to them and hit them with the palm of his hand, because he could not hit with his fist, but they had only clung to him the more. Michael had tried on his spectacles.


To tell poor Smee that they thought him lovable! Hook itched to do it, but it seemed too brutal. Instead, he revolved this mystery in his mind: why do they find Smee lovable? He pursued the problem like the sleuth-hound that he was. If Smee was lovable, what was it that made him so? A terrible answer suddenly presented itself—“Good form?”


Had the bo’sun good form without knowing it, which is the best form of all?


He remembered that you have to prove you don’t know you have it before you are eligible for Pop.


With a cry of rage he raised his iron hand over Smee’s head; but he did not tear. What arrested him was this reflection:


“To claw a man because he is good form, what would that be?”


“Bad form!”


The unhappy Hook was as impotent as he was damp, and he fell forward like a cut flower.


His dogs thinking him out of the way for a time, discipline instantly relaxed; and they broke into a bacchanalian dance, which brought him to his feet at once, all traces of human weakness gone, as if a bucket of water had passed over him.


“Quiet, you scugs,” he cried, “or I’ll cast anchor in you;” and at once the din was hushed. “Are all the children chained, so that they cannot fly away?”


“Ay, ay.”


“Then hoist them up.”


The wretched prisoners were dragged from the hold, all except Wendy, and ranged in line in front of him. For a time he seemed unconscious of their presence. He lolled at his ease, humming, not unmelodiously, snatches of a rude song, and fingering a pack of cards. Ever and anon the light from his cigar gave a touch of colour to his face.


“Now then, bullies,” he said briskly, “six of you walk the plank to-night, but I have room for two cabin boys. Which of you is it to be?”


“Don’t irritate him unnecessarily,” had been Wendy’s instructions in the hold; so Tootles stepped forward politely. Tootles hated the idea of signing under such a man, but an instinct told him that it would be prudent to lay the responsibility on an absent person; and though a somewhat silly boy, he knew that mothers alone are always willing to be the buffer. All children know this about mothers, and despise them for it, but make constant use of it.


So Tootles explained prudently, “You see, sir, I don’t think my mother would like me to be a pirate. Would your mother like you to be a pirate, Slightly?”


He winked at Slightly, who said mournfully, “I don’t think so,” as if he wished things had been otherwise. “Would your mother like you to be a pirate, Twin?”


“I don’t think so,” said the first twin, as clever as the others. “Nibs, would—”


“Stow this gab,” roared Hook, and the spokesmen were dragged back. “You, boy,” he said, addressing John, “you look as if you had a little pluck in you. Didst never want to be a pirate, my hearty?”


Now John had sometimes experienced this hankering at maths. prep.; and he was struck by Hook’s picking him out.


“I once thought of calling myself Red-handed Jack,” he said diffidently.


“And a good name too. We’ll call you that here, bully, if you join.”


“What do you think, Michael?” asked John.


“What would you call me if I join?” Michael demanded.


“Blackbeard Joe.”


Michael was naturally impressed. “What do you think, John?” He wanted John to decide, and John wanted him to decide.


“Shall we still be respectful subjects of the King?” John inquired.


Through Hook’s teeth came the answer: “You would have to swear, ‘Down with the King.’”


Perhaps John had not behaved very well so far, but he shone out now.


“Then I refuse,” he cried, banging the barrel in front of Hook.


“And I refuse,” cried Michael.


“Rule Britannia!” squeaked Curly.


The infuriated pirates buffeted them in the mouth; and Hook roared out, “That seals your doom. Bring up their mother. Get the plank ready.”


They were only boys, and they went white as they saw Jukes and Cecco preparing the fatal plank. But they tried to look brave when Wendy was brought up.

No words of mine can tell you how Wendy despised those pirates. To the boys there was at least some glamour in the pirate calling; but all that she saw was that the ship had not been tidied for years. There was not a porthole on the grimy glass of which you might not have written with your finger “Dirty pig”; and she had already written it on several. But as the boys gathered round her she had no thought, of course, save for them.

“So, my beauty,” said Hook, as if he spoke in syrup, “you are to see your children walk the plank.”

Fine gentlemen though he was, the intensity of his communings had soiled his ruff, and suddenly he knew that she was gazing at it. With a hasty gesture he tried to hide it, but he was too late.

“Are they to die?” asked Wendy, with a look of such frightful contempt that he nearly fainted.

“They are,” he snarled. “Silence all,” he called gloatingly, “for a mother’s last words to her children.”

At this moment Wendy was grand. “These are my last words, dear boys,” she said firmly. “I feel that I have a message to you from your real mothers, and it is this: ‘We hope our sons will die like English gentlemen.’”

Even the pirates were awed, and Tootles cried out hysterically, “I am going to do what my mother hopes. What are you to do, Nibs?”

“What my mother hopes. What are you to do, Twin?”

“What my mother hopes. John, what are—”

But Hook had found his voice again.

“Tie her up!” he shouted.

It was Smee who tied her to the mast. “See here, honey,” he whispered, “I’ll save you if you promise to be my mother.”

But not even for Smee would she make such a promise. “I would almost rather have no children at all,” she said disdainfully.

It is sad to know that not a boy was looking at her as Smee tied her to the mast; the eyes of all were on the plank: that last little walk they were about to take. They were no longer able to hope that they would walk it manfully, for the capacity to think had gone from them; they could stare and shiver only.

Hook smiled on them with his teeth closed, and took a step toward Wendy. His intention was to turn her face so that she should see the boys walking the plank one by one. But he never reached her, he never heard the cry of anguish he hoped to wring from her. He heard something else instead.

It was the terrible tick-tick of the crocodile.

They all heard it—pirates, boys, Wendy; and immediately every head was blown in one direction; not to the water whence the sound proceeded, but toward Hook. All knew that what was about to happen concerned him alone, and that from being actors they were suddenly become spectators.

Very frightful was it to see the change that came over him. It was as if he had been clipped at every joint. He fell in a little heap.

The sound came steadily nearer; and in advance of it came this ghastly thought, “The crocodile is about to board the ship!”

Even the iron claw hung inactive; as if knowing that it was no intrinsic part of what the attacking force wanted. Left so fearfully alone, any other man would have lain with his eyes shut where he fell: but the gigantic brain of Hook was still working, and under its guidance he crawled on the knees along the deck as far from the sound as he could go. The pirates respectfully cleared a passage for him, and it was only when he brought up against the bulwarks that he spoke.

“Hide me!” he cried hoarsely.

They gathered round him, all eyes averted from the thing that was coming aboard. They had no thought of fighting it. It was Fate.

Only when Hook was hidden from them did curiosity loosen the limbs of the boys so that they could rush to the ship’s side to see the crocodile climbing it. Then they got the strangest surprise of the Night of Nights; for it was no crocodile that was coming to their aid. It was Peter.

He signed to them not to give vent to any cry of admiration that might rouse suspicion. Then he went on ticking.

Chapter XV.
“HOOK OR ME THIS TIME”

Odd things happen to all of us on our way through life without our noticing for a time that they have happened. Thus, to take an instance, we suddenly discover that we have been deaf in one ear for we don’t know how long, but, say, half an hour. Now such an experience had come that night to Peter. When last we saw him he was stealing across the island with one finger to his lips and his dagger at the ready. He had seen the crocodile pass by without noticing anything peculiar about it, but by and by he remembered that it had not been ticking. At first he thought this eerie, but soon concluded rightly that the clock had run down.

Without giving a thought to what might be the feelings of a fellow-creature thus abruptly deprived of its closest companion, Peter began to consider how he could turn the catastrophe to his own use; and he decided to tick, so that wild beasts should believe he was the crocodile and let him pass unmolested. He ticked superbly, but with one unforeseen result. The crocodile was among those who heard the sound, and it followed him, though whether with the purpose of regaining what it had lost, or merely as a friend under the belief that it was again ticking itself, will never be certainly known, for, like slaves to a fixed idea, it was a stupid beast.

Peter reached the shore without mishap, and went straight on, his legs encountering the water as if quite unaware that they had entered a new element. Thus many animals pass from land to water, but no other human of whom I know. As he swam he had but one thought: “Hook or me this time.” He had ticked so long that he now went on ticking without knowing that he was doing it. Had he known he would have stopped, for to board the brig by help of the tick, though an ingenious idea, had not occurred to him.

On the contrary, he thought he had scaled her side as noiseless as a mouse; and he was amazed to see the pirates cowering from him, with Hook in their midst as abject as if he had heard the crocodile.

The crocodile! No sooner did Peter remember it than he heard the ticking. At first he thought the sound did come from the crocodile, and he looked behind him swiftly. Then he realised that he was doing it himself, and in a flash he understood the situation. “How clever of me!” he thought at once, and signed to the boys not to burst into applause.

It was at this moment that Ed Teynte the quartermaster emerged from the forecastle and came along the deck. Now, reader, time what happened by your watch. Peter struck true and deep. John clapped his hands on the ill-fated pirate’s mouth to stifle the dying groan. He fell forward. Four boys caught him to prevent the thud. Peter gave the signal, and the carrion was cast overboard. There was a splash, and then silence. How long has it taken?

“One!” (Slightly had begun to count.)

None too soon, Peter, every inch of him on tiptoe, vanished into the cabin; for more than one pirate was screwing up his courage to look round. They could hear each other’s distressed breathing now, which showed them that the more terrible sound had passed.

“It’s gone, captain,” Smee said, wiping off his spectacles. “All’s still again.”

Slowly Hook let his head emerge from his ruff, and listened so intently that he could have caught the echo of the tick. There was not a sound, and he drew himself up firmly to his full height.

“Then here’s to Johnny Plank!” he cried brazenly, hating the boys more than ever because they had seen him unbend. He broke into the villainous ditty:

“Yo ho, yo ho, the frisky plank,
    You walks along it so,
Till it goes down and you goes down
    To Davy Jones below!”

To terrorise the prisoners the more, though with a certain loss of dignity, he danced along an imaginary plank, grimacing at them as he sang; and when he finished he cried, “Do you want a touch of the cat before you walk the plank?”

At that they fell on their knees. “No, no!” they cried so piteously that every pirate smiled.

“Fetch the cat, Jukes,” said Hook; “it’s in the cabin.”

The cabin! Peter was in the cabin! The children gazed at each other.

“Ay, ay,” said Jukes blithely, and he strode into the cabin. They followed him with their eyes; they scarce knew that Hook had resumed his song, his dogs joining in with him:

“Yo ho, yo ho, the scratching cat,
    Its tails are nine, you know,
And when they’re writ upon your back—”

What was the last line will never be known, for of a sudden the song was stayed by a dreadful screech from the cabin. It wailed through the ship, and died away. Then was heard a crowing sound which was well understood by the boys, but to the pirates was almost more eerie than the screech.

“What was that?” cried Hook.

“Two,” said Slightly solemnly.

The Italian Cecco hesitated for a moment and then swung into the cabin. He tottered out, haggard.

“What’s the matter with Bill Jukes, you dog?” hissed Hook, towering over him.

“The matter wi’ him is he’s dead, stabbed,” replied Cecco in a hollow voice.

“Bill Jukes dead!” cried the startled pirates.

“The cabin’s as black as a pit,” Cecco said, almost gibbering, “but there is something terrible in there: the thing you heard crowing.”

The exultation of the boys, the lowering looks of the pirates, both were seen by Hook.

“Cecco,” he said in his most steely voice, “go back and fetch me out that doodle-doo.”

Cecco, bravest of the brave, cowered before his captain, crying “No, no”; but Hook was purring to his claw.

“Did you say you would go, Cecco?” he said musingly.

Cecco went, first flinging his arms despairingly. There was no more singing, all listened now; and again came a death-screech and again a crow.

No one spoke except Slightly. “Three,” he said.

Hook rallied his dogs with a gesture. “’S’death and odds fish,” he thundered, “who is to bring me that doodle-doo?”

“Wait till Cecco comes out,” growled Starkey, and the others took up the cry.

“I think I heard you volunteer, Starkey,” said Hook, purring again.

“No, by thunder!” Starkey cried.

“My hook thinks you did,” said Hook, crossing to him. “I wonder if it would not be advisable, Starkey, to humour the hook?”

“I’ll swing before I go in there,” replied Starkey doggedly, and again he had the support of the crew.

“Is this mutiny?” asked Hook more pleasantly than ever. “Starkey’s ringleader!”


“Captain, mercy!” Starkey whimpered, all of a tremble now.


“Shake hands, Starkey,” said Hook, proffering his claw.


Starkey looked round for help, but all deserted him. As he backed up Hook advanced, and now the red spark was in his eye. With a despairing scream the pirate leapt upon Long Tom and precipitated himself into the sea.


“Four,” said Slightly.


“And now,” Hook said courteously, “did any other gentlemen say mutiny?” Seizing a lantern and raising his claw with a menacing gesture, “I’ll bring out that doodle-doo myself,” he said, and sped into the cabin.


“Five.” How Slightly longed to say it. He wetted his lips to be ready, but Hook came staggering out, without his lantern.


“Something blew out the light,” he said a little unsteadily.


“Something!” echoed Mullins.


“What of Cecco?” demanded Noodler.


“He’s as dead as Jukes,” said Hook shortly.


His reluctance to return to the cabin impressed them all unfavourably, and the mutinous sounds again broke forth. All pirates are superstitious, and Cookson cried, “They do say the surest sign a ship’s accurst is when there’s one on board more than can be accounted for.”


“I’ve heard,” muttered Mullins, “he always boards the pirate craft last. Had he a tail, captain?”


“They say,” said another, looking viciously at Hook, “that when he comes it’s in the likeness of the wickedest man aboard.”


“Had he a hook, captain?” asked Cookson insolently; and one after another took up the cry, “The ship’s doomed!” At this the children could not resist raising a cheer. Hook had well-nigh forgotten his prisoners, but as he swung round on them now his face lit up again.


“Lads,” he cried to his crew, “now here’s a notion. Open the cabin door and drive them in. Let them fight the doodle-doo for their lives. If they kill him, we’re so much the better; if he kills them, we’re none the worse.”


For the last time his dogs admired Hook, and devotedly they did his bidding. The boys, pretending to struggle, were pushed into the cabin and the door was closed on them.


“Now, listen!” cried Hook, and all listened. But not one dared to face the door. Yes, one, Wendy, who all this time had been bound to the mast. It was for neither a scream nor a crow that she was watching, it was for the reappearance of Peter.


She had not long to wait. In the cabin he had found the thing for which he had gone in search: the key that would free the children of their manacles, and now they all stole forth, armed with such weapons as they could find. First signing them to hide, Peter cut Wendy’s bonds, and then nothing could have been easier than for them all to fly off together; but one thing barred the way, an oath, “Hook or me this time.” So when he had freed Wendy, he whispered for her to conceal herself with the others, and himself took her place by the mast, her cloak around him so that he should pass for her. Then he took a great breath and crowed.


To the pirates it was a voice crying that all the boys lay slain in the cabin; and they were panic-stricken. Hook tried to hearten them; but like the dogs he had made them they showed him their fangs, and he knew that if he took his eyes off them now they would leap at him.


“Lads,” he said, ready to cajole or strike as need be, but never quailing for an instant, “I’ve thought it out. There’s a Jonah aboard.”


“Ay,” they snarled, “a man wi’ a hook.”


“No, lads, no, it’s the girl. Never was luck on a pirate ship wi’ a woman on board. We’ll right the ship when she’s gone.”


Some of them remembered that this had been a saying of Flint’s. “It’s worth trying,” they said doubtfully.


“Fling the girl overboard,” cried Hook; and they made a rush at the figure in the cloak.


“There’s none can save you now, missy,” Mullins hissed jeeringly.


“There’s one,” replied the figure.


“Who’s that?”


“Peter Pan the avenger!” came the terrible answer; and as he spoke Peter flung off his cloak. 


Then they all knew who ’twas that had been undoing them in the cabin, and twice Hook essayed to speak and twice he failed. In that frightful moment I think his fierce heart broke.


At last he cried, “Cleave him to the brisket!” but without conviction.


“Down, boys, and at them!” Peter’s voice rang out; and in another moment the clash of arms was resounding through the ship. Had the pirates kept together it is certain that they would have won; but the onset came when they were still unstrung, and they ran hither and thither, striking wildly, each thinking himself the last survivor of the crew. Man to man they were the stronger; but they fought on the defensive only, which enabled the boys to hunt in pairs and choose their quarry. Some of the miscreants leapt into the sea; others hid in dark recesses, where they were found by Slightly, who did not fight, but ran about with a lantern which he flashed in their faces, so that they were half blinded and fell as an easy prey to the reeking swords of the other boys. There was little sound to be heard but the clang of weapons, an occasional screech or splash, and Slightly monotonously counting—five—six—seven—eight—nine—ten—eleven.


I think all were gone when a group of savage boys surrounded Hook, who seemed to have a charmed life, as he kept them at bay in that circle of fire. They had done for his dogs, but this man alone seemed to be a match for them all. Again and again they closed upon him, and again and again he hewed a clear space. He had lifted up one boy with his hook, and was using him as a buckler, when another, who had just passed his sword through Mullins, sprang into the fray.


“Put up your swords, boys,” cried the newcomer, “this man is mine.”


Thus suddenly Hook found himself face to face with Peter. The others drew back and formed a ring around them.


For long the two enemies looked at one another, Hook shuddering slightly, and Peter with the strange smile upon his face.


“So, Pan,” said Hook at last, “this is all your doing.”


“Ay, James Hook,” came the stern answer, “it is all my doing.”


“Proud and insolent youth,” said Hook, “prepare to meet thy doom.”


“Dark and sinister man,” Peter answered, “have at thee.”


Without more words they fell to, and for a space there was no advantage to either blade. Peter was a superb swordsman, and parried with dazzling rapidity; ever and anon he followed up a feint with a lunge that got past his foe’s defence, but his shorter reach stood him in ill stead, and he could not drive the steel home. Hook, scarcely his inferior in brilliancy, but not quite so nimble in wrist play, forced him back by the weight of his onset, hoping suddenly to end all with a favourite thrust, taught him long ago by Barbecue at Rio; but to his astonishment he found this thrust turned aside again and again. Then he sought to close and give the quietus with his iron hook, which all this time had been pawing the air; but Peter doubled under it and, lunging fiercely, pierced him in the ribs. At the sight of his own blood, whose peculiar colour, you remember, was offensive to him, the sword fell from Hook’s hand, and he was at Peter’s mercy.


“Now!” cried all the boys, but with a magnificent gesture Peter invited his opponent to pick up his sword. Hook did so instantly, but with a tragic feeling that Peter was showing good form.


Hitherto he had thought it was some fiend fighting him, but darker suspicions assailed him now.


“Pan, who and what art thou?” he cried huskily.


“I’m youth, I’m joy,” Peter answered at a venture, “I’m a little bird that has broken out of the egg.”


This, of course, was nonsense; but it was proof to the unhappy Hook that Peter did not know in the least who or what he was, which is the very pinnacle of good form.


“To’t again,” he cried despairingly.


He fought now like a human flail, and every sweep of that terrible sword would have severed in twain any man or boy who obstructed it; but Peter fluttered round him as if the very wind it made blew him out of the danger zone. And again and again he darted in and pricked.


Hook was fighting now without hope. That passionate breast no longer asked for life; but for one boon it craved : to see Peter show bad form before it was cold forever.


Abandoning the fight he rushed into the powder magazine and fired it.


“In two minutes,” he cried, “the ship will be blown to pieces.”


Now, now, he thought, true form will show.


But Peter issued from the powder magazine with the shell in his hands, and calmly flung it overboard.


What sort of form was Hook himself showing? Misguided man though he was, we may be glad, without sympathising with him, that in the end he was true to the traditions of his race. The other boys were flying around him now, flouting, scornful; and he staggered about the deck striking up at them impotently, his mind was no longer with them; it was slouching in the playing fields of long ago, or being sent up for good, or watching the wall-game from a famous wall. And his shoes were right, and his waistcoat was right, and his tie was right, and his socks were right.


James Hook, thou not wholly unheroic figure, farewell.


For we have come to his last moment.


Seeing Peter slowly advancing upon him through the air with dagger poised, he sprang upon the bulwarks to cast himself into the sea. He did not know that the crocodile was waiting for him; for we purposely stopped the clock that this knowledge might be spared him : a little mark of respect from us at the end.


He had one last triumph, which I think we need not grudge him. As he stood on the bulwark looking over his shoulder at Peter gliding through the air, he invited him with a gesture to use his foot. It made Peter kick instead of stab.


At last Hook had got the boon for which he craved.


“Bad form,” he cried jeeringly, and went content to the crocodile.


Thus perished James Hook.


“Seventeen,” Slightly sang out; but he was not quite correct in his figures. Fifteen paid the penalty for their crimes that night; but two reached the shore: Starkey to be captured by the redskins, who made him nurse for all their papooses, a melancholy come-down for a pirate; and Smee, who henceforth wandered about the world in his spectacles, making a precarious living by saying he was the only man that Jas. Hook had feared.


Wendy, of course, had stood by taking no part in the fight, though watching Peter with glistening eyes; but now that all was over she became prominent again. She praised them equally, and shuddered delightfully when Michael showed her the place where he had killed one; and then she took them into Hook’s cabin and pointed to his watch which was hanging on a nail. It said “half-past one!”


The lateness of the hour was almost the biggest thing of all. She got them to bed in the pirates’ bunks pretty quickly, you may be sure; all but Peter, who strutted up and down on the deck, until at last he fell asleep by the side of Long Tom. He had one of his dreams that night, and cried in his sleep for a long time, and Wendy held him tightly.